An Angel in Demon's Clothing
Welcome to Hell Version 1: Hit By A Limo
One of the many very nice things about Heaven is that you are freed from all physical and emotional burdens that held you back in life.
In your particular case, for example, this meant that upon your death and ascension to Heaven, you were no longer plagued by the fears and debilitating anxiety that often stopped you from pursuing your life's Purpose and doing things you might have otherwise enjoyed. In fact, these burdens had kept you from doing so much when you were alive that you were quite honestly surprised that you made it into Heaven at all.
In Heaven, though, there was no fear. Only boldness, and resolve.
You still feel that resolve, it's definitely still there, but it's a tiny bit undermined by the fact that now that you're no longer in Heaven, you're once again susceptible to fear.
That and the curse of poor timing, because it is at the same moment that you so brilliantly decide to allow yourself to freefall into Hell to avoid arousing suspicion in the demons living there that your lifelong fear of heights returns to you.
Panic grips you as you plummet from the red sky to the equally red city below.
//Red, red, RED.// Everything is red. You're going to be red soon; a red smear on the pavement of Hell's capitol city. What were you thinking? //Why in Heaven's good name did you think it was a good idea to take a swan dive into Hell?// You should have just found a more secluded place to land, or come earlier, when all the demons would have still been in hiding or preoccupied with the exorcists so you wouldn't be seen! Instead, you're going to crash into the cement below and be in the most pain you've ever been in since you died.
//I'm already dead, I can't die again. I'm already dead, I can't die again! I'm already dead, I can't die again!!// You repeat it over and over to yourself like a mantra as the ground rapidly rises up to meet you. //Oh, God please forgive me, I really don't think—//
You hit the ground, hard, knocking the breath and thought process out of you, and just narrowly missing the hood of a moving vehicle.
A moving vehicle that is, in fact, traveling on a path that intersects with your landing position, and does not have time to slow down before running you over.
You screech as the front bumper collides with your body and you're sent tumbling under several sets of tires, before falling limply in a heap as the rear bumper passes over you. Pain courses through your whole body and a red haze clouds your vision. Your back feels wet and sticky.
The car screeches to a halt and one of the doors flies open.
"Oh my God!" A tall, feminine figure rushes out of the vehicle to your side, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!"
You squint blearily at the pale figure swimming in your vision, their words barely registering in your mind. "Don't... t...ake... Name... ..." you mumble, delirious.
"Oh, God!" You make out the outline of a rosy-cheeked blonde woman leaning over you. She turns her face to shout to the car, "Vaggie!"
"I'm here," another feminine voice responds, "Ay, Dios mío! What are we gonna do, Charlie? The interview is in twenty minutes!"
//Charlie?// You fight to focus on the blonde figure as the two converse. //Charlie? Like...?// The Lord's voice cuts into your thoughts as a grey-skinned woman joins her in your recovering vision:
//Charlotte Morningstar is the one you're looking for. She prefers to be called Charlie.//
Painfully, you reach out to the paler of the two women.
"Char... Mor...star...?" you rasp.
The two women turn and stare at you in shock. Charlie disappears from your vision and you feel yourself being lifted from under your arms.
"We'll take them with us. Help me carry them?"
Things are fuzzy for a while. You're lifted into the spacious interior of the vehicle that ran you over and laid out on a seat while two voices speak indistinctively to each other. You feel a hand on your head and Charlie says something that you can't quite catch. You hurt all over, and you're sure your limbs must have been horribly mangled with how terrible the pain was.
The vehicle starts moving, and you wince while a wave of dizzying pain hits you. The gray-skinned woman, Vaggie, gestures to you and speaks in a concerned tone. Charlie raises a placating hand and speaks softly. At some point, you must have passed out because you can't remember much about the rest of the ride aside from the two women's voices.
When you come to, you find yourself laid on the seat of a limousine under the watchful eye of what appears to be a miniature Jersey Devil in a tuxedo.
You sit up with some difficulty and look around. The women are gone. When you ask the little devil about them, he merely gestures out the window with a little hoof-like hand.
Upon looking out, you find that the limo is parked outside a tall building, a news station, judging by the large sign near the top. You turn back around to face the goat-like demon. "They're in that building?"
You vaguely recall Vaggie mentioning an interview, that must be what they're doing now. "How long has it been? Do you know when they'll be back?" you ask.
He only shrugs in response.
You try to stand, but there's a pang in your head, followed by a wave of dizziness and you fall back into the seat. Your joints ache. You groan. "I'm just gonna have to wait, huh?"
The little Jersey Devil smiles sympathetically and offers you a juice box, which you take, before turning and rummaging around under some of the other seats. With a squeal of triumph, he returns holding up a small remote.
"What's that?" you ask, tearing the wrapper off the straw and inserting it into the box after a few failed tries.
The little creature pushes a button, and a tiny television slides down from the ceiling. He flips the channel to the news station, where Charlie is singing about her hotel. You shoot upright, ignoring the protesting shock of pain in your back and glue your eyes to the screen.
She sings and dances, and the tune is catchy, and while the message doesn't seem to be very well received by the other demons present, you do learn that her hotel already has a patron. You snicker when you learn his name. //Of course the demon named Angel would be involved in the porn industry.//
But everything goes downhill from there.
It seems Angel has gotten involved in a violent turf war between two mid-level demons.
"Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival," one of the reporters announces, looming over the princess. "Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure?" You frown as the woman cackles obnoxiously on camera.
//Well, that isn't true!//
Charlie looks to be at a loss for words. "Yeah, well..." she swipes a pen off the desk they're all sitting behind, "How does it feel that I got your pen, huh?! Bitch!" You choke on your juice.
A fight breaks out, and pretty soon the two women are returning to the limousine, Charlie looking disheveled, and Vaggie looking rather irked. They are accompanied by a second Jersey Devil almost identical to the one that's currently patting your back as you finish your painful coughing fit.
Wincing, you shrink down into your seat.
The door across from you is opened by the small demon, and the two women climb inside, the gray-skinned one turning and glaring at the news station as she does so.
Upon seeing you, the paler of the two pauses.
"Oh! You're awake!" she observes, forcing a smile. You note that she has very sharp canines, and eyes without visible sclera and slit pupils, but aside from those details, she looks very human.
She makes her way to your side. "Thanks for looking after them, Dazzle," she tells the little winged demon who'd kept you company, before turning to address you. "How are you feeling?"
You shift a bit, feeling a dull ache in your shoulders, "Could be better," you say with a pained smile, then add, "Could also be worse. So thanks."
She frowns. "I'm so sorry we hit you!" she apologizes, "This is really no way to start..."
It was at this point you notice the other demoness is eyeing you warily; staring daggers at you with a single eye, the other missing and replaced with an 'x'.
"Oh!" the blonde exclaims, catching you looking over her shoulder, "Excuse me! You must be so confused! I'm Charlie, and this is my girlfriend, Vaggie..."
An awkward silence penetrates the interior of the limo. The group has just picked up the adult film star, Angel Dust, who had barely expressed interest in your presence with a "Who's this?" before lounging across one of the end seats and playing with a window switch while Charlie introduced you and explained that you were newly fallen.
"They just fell down today, so let's help them adjust, and give them a nice, warm... welcome?..." she trailed off.
"Yeah... good luck with that," had been the spider's reply.
While he opens and closes his window repeatedly, you occupy yourself with watching the landscape of Hell as it whisks by. Your eyes go wide in awe as you take in the menagerie of sights there are to behold.
"Geez, newbie, you're like a kid in a candy store'r somethin'," Angel says, looking up at you.
You glance back at him before turning back to your window, nearly pressing your face against the glass as you try to take in everything you're seeing. "It's all just so... interesting," you reply, intently watching countless demons as they go about their business. "There are so many people! And they're all so different! It's incredible!"
Angel Dust laughs. "That's one way to put it!" he chortles. He wipes away a fake tear and glances out his own window, "Ya don't need ta pretend ta be so nice!" he tells you, "We all know this place is crawlin' wit' a bunch'a fuckin' ugly freaks!"
You frown and respond only with a grunt.
"Aw, don't be like that! Ya know it's true!"
When you ask about the name of an establishment that confuses you, you're met with laughter from Angel, who then asserts that you must not have been sent here for the sin of Lust. That's all the answer you need, really.
The tense silence resumes after that, and while you're truly intrigued by what you see out the window, your gawking now has the secondary reason of avoiding the deadly glare Vaggie is sending Angel Dust, who just continues fiddling with the window switch in blissful ignorance.
You spot a group of demons fighting rather violently over what appears to be a bag of crystalline rocks. "Should... should someone stop them?"
"Hah!" Angel Dust laughs, "you really are new here!'' He reclines and reaches out for the window switch with one hand, "This is Hell, babe, there're gonna be fights. You'll get used to it."
Finally, the spider demon notices Vaggie's eye on him.
"'WHAT?'" Vaggie repeats, incredulous. She yanks at her hair, "What were you DOING?!" she shouts. You flinch and duck your head.
"Hey, I owed my girl buddy a solid!" Angel insists, "Isn't that a 'redeeming quality'? Helping friends with stuff?"
You turn from the window and debate on stepping in.
"Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!" Vaggie retorts, and you go pale.
"Eh," Angel Dust shrugs it off, "you win some, you lose a few hundred."
As he laughs, you frown deeply; "Um..."
He continues playing with the window, "It wasn't that bad, anyway..."
A knife flies through the air and sticks itself into the window switch, causing both you and Angel to jump. You turn, wide-eyed, to see Vaggie's furious face. She growls. You shrink back against your seat. //Where... —where did that knife come from?//
The spider demon recovers quickly. "Come on, I had to!" he maintains, "my credibility was on the line!"
"Your credibility?!" Vaggie rages, "What about the hotel's?! Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke!" You flinch at the harsh language. //Maybe you really should say something, before things escalate too much.//
"Nah, babe," Angel responds, "jokes are funny! I made you look... sad!—"
"I'm not sure about that," you intercede, not wanting to hear the spider make the situation worse. The two arguing demons turn to look at you as though they just remembered you were there, Vaggie still fuming and Angel raising an eyebrow.
//Oh, Lord, please let this be the right thing to say.//
"I-I mean, yeah, it seems pretty bad," you explain, "with the fighting... and the... genocide... Okay, that is bad," you admit.
"But! Erm—aside from the really unfortunate timing. I don't really see how..." you note that Vaggie is glaring at you, daring you to continue, while Angel has stopped paying attention and started rummaging about the limo, muttering something about there 'being any liquor' in the vehicle. "Ah—that is, um... ...Relapses like this are a normal part of the rehabilitation process. Y'know?"
Vaggie looks incredulous. Charlie, who had been hugging her knees and looking out the window dejectedly, turns her head up in curiosity.
Realization starts to sink in. "L-look, rehab is tough! —"
"Tell me about it," Angel snorts. You blink at him.
"—Breaking habits is tough!" you continue, "And relapses happen! They're expected to happen, even!" You stop a moment to think over what to say next. "The only real problem here seems to be that no one down here... understands... that..."
Charlie stares at you as though in a new light. Vaggie's eye narrows, questioningly.
"Ah... my mom worked in rehabilitation services when I was alive. She worked with juvenile delinquents, the disabled, and victims of child molestation, not necessarily in that order. And I picked up a few things from her...?"
"You're serious?" Vaggie crosses her arms skeptically.
"Yeah," you smile nervously, "I was a wildlife rehabilitator, myself, so I'd say I know a little bit about the rehabilitation process," you scratch the back of your head.
"The fuck are you doing in Hell?" asks Angel, distracted, "Is there seriously no liquor in here?!"
There's a pause as the three of you glance at him.
Vaggie growls, she glares at Angel and turns to address you; "It doesn't matter. Because after that train-wreck, nobody's gonna want to stay at the hotel!"
"Come on, Vaggie," Charlie forces a smile and places a gentle hand on her girlfriend's shoulder, "we don't know that for sure! It might not be over yet!"
"Yeah," you agree, "after all, you’ve convinced me."
The princess looks up, starstruck, "Huh?"
"I think your hotel is a great idea, and I can help," you say, "I want to help; I'm a real sucker for redemption, see," making sure Angel is still distracted, you slip the two demonesses a quick peek at your halo before waving it away. They stare at you wide-eyed, and, smiling, you hold a finger over your lips before gesturing to Angel, who's looking under a seat.
"And to think we all came together like this!" you continue. "I mean, there has to be a reason for it, right?" Grinning, you lean forward, "This might even be destiny."
Angel snickers, having returned to his lounging position in his seat. "Sure. Whateva' ya say, babe," he says, crossing his arms behind his head as Vaggie shoots him another glare.
You ignore him, and send Charlie a grin as the limo pulls to a stop in front of a large, imposing building.
