nothing, absolutely - ryland grace
fandom: project hail mary
pairing: ryland grace x fem!reader
word count: 3.9k
content: fluff, some crying, flashbacks, some mentions of needles
summary: when you wake up on the hail mary, you are absolutely clueless. the man on ship with you doesn't know who you are, and neither do you. eventually you learn after many flashbacks...
a/n: hi!!! this one took a bit of time, but I tried my best. some of the parts might be a bit jumbled and bad so please excuse that!!! also please ignore that the timeline is completely wrong, it's for the plot. hope you enjoy
this is a request from @kpopgirlbtssvt !
The first thing you realized about yourself was that you didn't belong here.
The second you opened your eyes, you were met with a blinding sterile light. There was a robotic arm that retracted away from you.
"Eye movement detected. What's three plus three?" A feminine voice asked.
You tried to speak, but all that came out was a jumble of words that didn't exist.
"Incorrect. What's three plus three?" It asked.
Before you could mumble out another gibberish phrase, a voice came from behind you.
"Leave her alone, Mary, let her wake up." Someone spoke.
The voice was coming from a man.. and adult definitely, but it was... familiar. You weren't sure why, but the sound of it made your heart race.
You tilted your head, looking in his direction. "Hey there," He said. "I wasn't sure if you were gonna wake up."
He was very handsome. Shaggy blonde hair, glasses, stubble. Very put together. You trailed his body... Jeans.. Converse.. and a T-shirt that said "I had potential." Alright then.
You tried to speak again, but nothing came out. You started to panic, noticing all the wiring that was attached to you. You shifted, trying to get up. You couldn't feel a single thing.
"Hey, hey don't panic.. Just give yourself a minute. Let me explain everything." He said.
⪻────★────⪼
The two of you had spent at least an hour talking. His name was Ryland Grace. He had been awake for at least two weeks he said, and he didn't know much about his life, but he knew what he did and what the mission here was.
Basically, you were on a giant space ship called the Hail Mary, in the middle of fucking space, and you were apparently trying to save the sun from dying. Cool.
He was a scientist and a teacher. It fit him, you thought. Especially the science thing. He knew basically everything about every single tool and machine in the entire spaceship. It was honestly really impressive.
You however had absolutely no clue what you were doing here. None of the equipment made sense to you, and from what you could tell, you were absolutely terrible at math.
So what were you doing here?
⪻────★────⪼
You slowly discovered that you did, in fact, know this man. You had a vision of your past, and there you saw that Ryland was a scientist. He had figured out that the sun killing chemical, Astrophage, could be breaded. The first thing he did when he found that out was hug you. You told him you were proud and that was pretty much it.
That's all you knew.
He must've been a good friend of yours, or a coworker.
⪻────★────⪼
Another thing you noticed was that you knew exactly how he liked to do things.
It wasn't major at first. Whenever he was hunched over something, with tense shoulders, you immediately found yourself wanting to soothe him.
You walked up behind him, watching carefully. He groaned softly, his head laying onto the lab table in front of him. Without asking, you brought your hands to his shoulders, gently massaging them in a way that felt completely right.
He let out a grunt, his shoulders rolling back as you worked out the knots in his body.
Once you were done, he turned to look at you. "You are really good at that." He said, tilting his head at you.
You shrugged it off, but for some reason.. it felt really good to hear him say that.
Other things would happen too.
When he asked you to make him coffee, you did. You didn't have to ask him how he took it... because you already knew, but you had no idea how.
Maybe you were his assistant? That would make sense.. but why did you still feel such a strong pull to him.
⪻────★────⪼
About a month after you'd oken up from the coma, you had another vision of the past.
You were at some sort of party.
There were lots of people there, including Ryland. He was sitting at a bar, his elbow resting against it while he rested his chin in his palm. He was staring at you with.. adoration. You smiled at him before walking over.
You found your way to him, sitting beside him.
He slid a drink in your direction, the one he had just taken a sip of.
"You look exhausted. Stratt stressing you out?" He asked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
You nodded "Yeah. She's.. really pushing this whole.. Ryland needs to go to space thing. I told her you're not... that you don't want to." You sighed. "I don't think she's letting it go, Ry."
And then you were back.
You sighed out loud as you snapped back into reality.
"You alright?" Ryland asked, currently working on something science related that you didn't understand at all.
"Yeah.. just.. I keep getting glimpses of my past, but it's never the full thing. It's like there's something missing, I just can't figure out what it is." You said.
The whole thing was getting tiring. You just wanted to know the truth. Wanted to know why you were here.. and what you were important for on this mission.
"It's okay, you'll get to it eventually, I'm sure." He said, placing his tools down. "Come get your mind off it. Let me teach you something."
⪻────★────⪼
It had been almost three months since waking up. Today Ryland was determined, but incredibly frustrated.
He was pacing back and forth, stressed about God knows what. You had not a single clue about what he was rambling about.. it all sounded gibberish to you.
The sight of him flustered and confused made your heart heavy. Like you needed to do something to help him.. and without even thinking about it, you walked up to him.
He met your eyes, looking utterly confused. You took his hands, rubbing your thumb lightly against them.
"Ryland, you're stressing yourself out. You need to take a deep breath." You said, tilting your head at him.
His eyes trailed your face, before he sighed, taking a deep breath in followed by a deep breath out.
"Is that better?" You asked, one hand sliding up to rub his shoulder.
"Yeah.. Thanks." He said.
"Mhm," you nodded. "Tell me what's bothering you.. I'm not a scientist, clearly, but maybe I can help."
He sighed, looking into the lab. The harsh fluorescent lights brightening his face.
He laughed.
"I don't even know where to start." He said, looking back at you with a smile.
You nodded, unable to help the way the corners of your mouth curved up. "I mean.. we are in the middle of space with intense memory loss.. I can't blame you."
He nodded back. "Yeah.." He murmured, his voice softer than before. "If we're going to figure out.. what we need to do, then we need to figure out where exactly we are in the universe. Because I have no fucking clue." He chuckled.
Before you could say another word, an alarm started blaring through the ship. Both of your smiles instantly faded as you looked around, flashing lights surrounding you.
Just as Ryland was about to say something, Mary spoke first.
"Approaching Tau Ceti Orbit. Prepare for Engine Cutoff."
"What?" He asked, pulling his hands away from you as he ran to the flight control panel. You followed quickly behind.
He slid into the pilots chair, Mary counting down from 20.
"Pilot detected."
Ryland quickly pulled himself out of the chair, "Still not a pilot!"
You sat in the chair beside him, watching as the timer slowly ticked down. "Ryland, what do we do?!"
"I don't know!" He shouted back.
"3... 2... 1"
Nothing happened..... That was until you realized that your hair was slowly lifting from where it usually laid. "Uh.. Ry..?"
He looked over at you, eyes widening as he gripped into the pilots chair.
"You are now orbiting Tau Ceti."
⪻────★────⪼
The air in the room was cold. You and Ryland were sat beside each other, right across from a woman with long ginger hair.
"Ryland, I know you have a life here, but that will be gone if you stay on Earth. The world will freeze in about 30 years, including your life. I'm not asking you. You are my only hope." She said.
You felt an intense string of pain in your heart as you looked to Ryland. He had tears streaming down his face.
"Stratt. You know I'm not an austoranut... I can't do this. I'm not made for this. I'm a school teacher." He said, shifting in his chair.
Stratt.. That name was familiar from a past vision of the past.
"Please don't act like this is about your job. It's insulting. You are a scientist, Dr. Grace. You are going on that ship."
"No..no no you.. you can't make me do that. My mind is made up. You can't talk me into this." He said, rubbing his nose as he slid his glasses back onto his face.
"I'm... not trying to talk you into anything. I'm preparing you for what I'm going to do next."
Your heart dropped as she waved someone into the room.
"What?" You asked, standing from your seat, Ryland looking up at you with panic in his eyes.
"Mission plan will state that we induced his coma early to induce his safety. He will be remembered as a hero."
"No.. come on-" Ryland said, his pitch higher as tears welled up in his eyes. "Come on we can talk about this."
"Please don't make this harder."
And then he ran. He ran straight out the door.
"Stratt.. you can't do this!" You said, following her as she stepped in the direction of her window, phone held up to her ear now.
"Yeah, he's running." She said before hanging up. She looked to you. "I did what has to be done. He's the only option."
Your vision began to blur as you shook your head. "You're a monster."
You took off, following the guards that were chasing after Ryland. Just as you managed to get behind them, Ryland was tackled to the ground.
"No! Please don't make me go-" He cried, his arms being held behind his back.
You were next to him in an instant, crouching on your knees despite someone pulling you away from him.. and then you saw it. They injected him and seconds later he wasn't awake.
They freed you, causing you to fall forward for a moment before you crawled over to him, sobbing.
"Nononononono-" You cried, breath catching in your throat as you brought your hands to his face, lifting his head into your lap.
"Please.. please Ry, wake up.." You begged, tears slipping from your face and on to his cheek.
You pressed your forehead down onto his, silently pleading that he would wake up.
⪻────★────⪼
"Hey, wake uppp" Ryland said, shifting your shoulders. "That ship sent us a weird capsule thing." He said, holding a metal cylinder in his hands.
You groaned softly, stretching before you sat up. "Is there something in it..?" You asked.
He shrugged in return. "Can't open it."
You nodded, getting out of your sleeping cot. Over the past day, your engine cut off. You found a gap in the Petrova Line, found an alien spaceship that helped you regain gravity, and now it was sending you guys a weird contraption... Cool.
You hadn't told Ryland about what you'd seen in your flashback. You were still trying to pick it all apart on your own. Clearly Stratt had sent Ryland on this mission without his consent, but that still didn't explain why you were so upset about it.
He could've been your friend, sure, but why were you that upset. You were sobbing, shaking, and not to mention, there was no reason for you to be in that meeting unless you had a really good connection to Ryland.
You were still missing something.
He snapped his fingers in your face. "Are you okay? You've been real.... spacey lately." He said, followed by a laugh. "See what I did there?"
You offered a gentle smile and nodded. "Yeah just.. thinking." You reached out, grabbing the cylinder from his hands. "What.. is this thing..?" You asked, examining it closely.
"I think it's some kind of message." He said, watching you.
You handed it back and nodded. "Alright then.. let's try it open."
The two of you worked on it for probably.. an hour and a half. You tried to pull it, twist it, smash it. Nothing worked.
Ryland groaned. "What is wrong with this stupid thing. Every time I check it, it still says it's Xenon. That's not physically possible."
You nodded. If you remembered anything from your highschool science classes, it was the periodic table. Xenon was in fact a gas. "That's so weird.."
He hummed in anger, pacing around the lab as he threw his hands around, animating every word he said. "Up is down, left is right, Xenon's a solid, aliens are real! I'm wrong about everything and everything is wrong." He slid into his stool again.
You sat across from him, your chin in your palm. The two of you looked at each other for a moment.
"Lefty tighty, Righty loosely." You said in unison.
He picked up the object and twisted one end to the right. It opened.
"I mean, come on." He said, smelling inside the container. "Oh no!!!" He slid over to a glass chamber that had gloves attached. He opened it, placing the object inside and put the gloves on.
⪻────★────⪼
Stratt slid her gloves on, preparing to step into the cold air. You were right beside her, bugging her with something.
"Stratt please. Leave him here.. he's not.. he's not meant for this." You begged, voice hoarse.
"I understand your concerns for him, but the decision has been made. There's nothing you can do to change my mind."
"Please.. I can't- I can't live without him." You said, a tear slipping down your cheek.
"I apologize. This is just how it has to be." She said, walking out her office door with you following closely behind.
"There has to be something? Somebody else."
"There is no one. It's too late now."
You paused for a moment.
"So let me go with him." You said.
She stopped in her tracks and turned to face you.
"What?"
"If you won't let him stay.. Let me go with him." You repeated.
She didn't answer immediately. She scanned your face, looking for anything that told her you weren't being serious.
"You would throw your life.. your safety.. away for a sentiment?" She asked in a whisper. "This mission requires absolute focus. There's no room for dead weight."
You scoffed. "I won't be dead weight. I've been right beside him at every meeting. I know the protocols. I know the risk. If he goes alone, he's going to spiral. I know him. Don't you want to guarantee that.. that he actually saves the world? I am the guarantee."
She stared dead into your eyes for a very long time. She sighed and adjusted her clipboard in her hands. "Pack your things. Your coma will be induced in 24 hours."
⪻────★────⪼
It had been roughly two days since you and Ryland had opened the mysterious alien cylinder.
The alien showed you where it lived in the galaxy, and Ryland had even met it. You didn't because you were far to terrified, but he came back with news.
He said it was a rock with practically the same problem that Earth was having.
Ryland was currently working on creating a makeshift translator out of a computer while you sat in your sleeping cot, trying to figure out why you had been so persistent to get on this ship with Ryland.
You could've been his best friend. Maybe that was it.
You seemed to know him pretty well.
You sighed, placing your hands on your face.
Nothing made any sense.
⪻────★────⪼
So, the alien was moved in now. Ryland called him "Rocky." He slept right next to you and Ryland which seemed to be some type of alien culture... weird but okay.
"What Grace mate thinking? Question." Rocky asked.
Mate? Why would he think you were his mate? Your face went pink. Sure he was handsome, but..
"Rock, she's just a friend." Ryland said, snapping you out of your thoughts.
Rocky processed his words.
"Grace stupid. Statement."
You couldn't help but laugh. It was funny because realistically, Ryland was smarter than you.
"I am not stupid!" He scoffed, flicking random switches on the control panel.
The three of you were currently on your way to the planet called Tau Ceti to find out why the Astrophage wasn't killing it. It would take about 11 days.
"Grace fingers too slow. Grace is pathetic. Statement," Rocky's translator buzzed, his torso tilting aggressively toward his side of the plastic barrier. "Rocky is faster."
"I am moving at the maximum speed allowed by human anatomy, Rocky!" Ryland fired back, his hands darting across the console with a rhythmic, frantic precision that made absolutely no sense to you. "Cry me a river."
You sat in the corner jump seat, holding a pouch of freeze-dried space sludge, watching them bicker like two angry toddlers. "Wow. Look at you two. Two absolute geniuses speaking the secret language of spaceship knobs. Meanwhile, I've been sitting here for the past ten minutes trying to figure out what in Earth is in this pouch."
Ryland didn’t even look up from his monitors, a smug smirk plastered across his face. "It's beef stew. And for your information, we are currently executing flawlessly."
"Correct. Grace did not mess up. Is shocking. Statement," Rocky added, clacking his claws together in a rhythmic beat. "Human friend just sits and eats sludge. Dead weight. Question."
"Hey!" You pointed your spoon threateningly at the plastic barrier.
It hit a nerve since clearly you weren't here just for dead weight according to your most recent flashback.
"I provide morale, okay? I keep Ryland from talking to himself, which we all know he does the second we leave him alone."
Rocky paused, his carapace bobbing as if genuinely considering the point. "True. Grace speaks to walls when alone."
Ryland threw his hands up in defeat. "Great. Wonderful. Now you've officially turned my alien best friend against me. Eleven more days of this. I'm going to sleep."
You giggled as you watched him leave and you quickly followed behind him. "C'mon, Ry it was a joke!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes as he made it to the door of the sleeping quarters. He turned to you and pointed his finger in your face. "I'll remember this moment. Just you wait."
"Oh come on, don't be dramatic." You said, grabbing his finger.
He stared at you for a moment, letting you hold his finger gently in your palm. He was staring at you like he was trying to figure something out. His eyes scanning your face over and over again.
"What?" You asked, the teasing smile not on your face anymore.
"Nothing.. sorry I just.. spaced out." He said, pulling his gaze away from you and turning around. He looked past his shoulder. "I'm going to sleep, goodnight."
⪻────★────⪼
You were sat in a sterile office, it was different from the one before. Maybe a clinic of some sort. Stratt was sat in a stool in front of you, one or two doctors walking into the room. It was definitely a clinic.
"You will be put into a coma and placed on the ship. You will not remember anything when you wake up. "
"What..?" You asked. A doctor moved beside you, prepping a needle for you. "Why is my memory being wiped?"
"It is a side effect of the heavy life-support sedatives," Stratt stated smoothly, "The medical coma is the only way your body can survive the extreme physical forces of the voyage, but the drugs will scramble long-term cognitive pathways upon waking. You will relearn your identity. Earth does not have time for your personal sentimentality."
A soft exhale escaped your lips as the doctor pressed a cold, sterile alcohol wipe against the skin of your arm.
"H..How will we remember?" You asked, hands shaking.
"You just will. You and your husband will find your way back."
"Relax your arm." The doctor said.
You took a deep breath and the doctor injected the needle into your arm. You felt it, cold through your skin. Your vision became blurry, fingers twitching lightly on the arm rest.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Grace."
⪻────★────⪼
You were still standing where Ryland had left you. Only now there were tears falling from your face.
"Grace, (Surname) is leaky." You heard from the sleeping quarters.
"W-What? Rock I'm trying to sleep." Ryland groaned.
The doorway hissed open and Ryland stepped back out into the corridor, looking completely disheveled and blinking sleepily against the dim light. His groggy expression vanished the instant he saw you, his posture stiffening in immediate concern.
"Hey," he said softly, stepping closer to you. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
You shook your head, wiping your face. "I.. I remember now.. I know why I'm here." You said, breath shaky.
"Come here.. Tell me." He said, wrapping his arms around your body. You took a deep breath settling your cheek against this chest as he brushed your hair with his fingers.
His embrace was warm, holding you with the instinctive, protective strength of a man who cared deeply, even if his conscious mind didn't understand why yet. The familiar scent of his skin and the steady, reassuring thrum of his heartbeat beneath your cheek felt like home.
"Take your time," Ryland murmured, his chin resting gently on top of your head as his hand continued its slow, soothing rhythm through your hair. "Just breathe. Tell me what you remembered."
You gripped the fabric of his shirt, squeezing your eyes shut as more tears fought their way up your throat. Holding it back felt physically impossible now.
You gently pushed back from his chest, forcing yourself to look directly into his eyes. Your hands trembled as you reached up to cup his face, your thumbs tracing the now familiar line of his jaw.
"I remembered why I'm on this ship, Ry. I wasn't drafted. I wasn't an astronaut," you whispered, a fresh wave of tears spilling over your eyelashes. "I... I chose to be here. For you.. I.. I'm your wife. And I couldn't live without you."
He paused. You saw something in his eyes as he looked down at you.
"My.. My wife." He repeated.
You nodded.
"This whole time.. I thought I just.. had a wife back home.. who gave me her ring to remember her.. now I realize that was an incredibly stupid assumption." He said, pulling his arm back. He pulled a chain from under his shirt... and their hung a ring with a diamond attached.
You stared at him, the memories softly flowing back. Late night dinner dates, library runs, you coming in to surprise him at work. You remembered it now.. and it looked like he did too.
You smiled for a second, but couldn't help the laugh that left your lips. Your head pressing into his chest.
"Ryland Grace you're such an idiot."
He laughed with you, shaking his head as he wiped his face.
"I know. I'm sorry."
The two of you laughed for a moment before you finally looked back up at him. There he was. Your husband. Your life. He met your gaze.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He said.
"Shhh just kiss me." You said.
And he did.
AWWWW MY HEART!! Thank you!! Seeing them slowly remembering each other and all that they mean to each other was sooo sweet! And poor Y/n’s heartbreak as they took Ryland away🥺🥺 Awww and it’s so sweet that Ry had her wedding ring the whole time!!
@sergeantbarnessdoll Read!
@kpopgirlbtssvt when she remembered that they’re married🥺🩵
