I'm still here. I don't always want to be, but here I am.
Being a widow sucks, every second of every day. Every time I learn something or remember something it breaks me. Honestly, I'm not doing well. I'm only holding on for the trial, who knows when that will be. I've learned such disturbing things about why Ryan was allowed to be taken that have shaken my already miniscule faith in people. I've endured enormous indignities. I've struggled with something else that I can't even share with most of the people I know. I'm in hell. I'm here, though, I guess. I have no creativity, no initiative, no desire, no hope. But I'm here. I guess that's an update.












