♡ pairing: xu minghao x fem!reader
♡ genre: roommates to lovers
♡ wc: 1.5k
♡ warnings: 18+ MDNI, oral [f. receiving], possessiveness, descriptions of female anatomy, dom!hao, jealousy
“You’re wearing that?” Your roommate, Minghao, hissed incredulously, not even looking up from his book.
“What do you mean,” you pouted at him, “you didn’t even look” swiftly attempting to snatch the book from him, his hands gripping instantly, causing it to slip from yours. He smiled at the attempt and closed the book, his two of his slender fingers sliding between the pages, holding his place for him to return to after your little tantrum was over.
“What I mean, y/n,” he took in your form from over his reading glasses, “is: will he appreciate you in it?” the combination of the question and the way his eyes lingered just slightly, almost not enough to notice, on how your dress hugs your curves, made you flush.
“I—-“ you hesitated, “what?” is the best you could settle on, in the years Minghao and yourself cohabitated, mostly for money saving and convenience purposes, he has never said anything like this to you. A heat crept up Minghao’s neck, and he attempted to rub it away with his free hand, he knew he had said too much this time. He opened his mouth to attempt to come up with some lame excuse, but a knock on the door took the words away from him.
“Never mind,” he smiled slightly, “have fun y/n, call me if you need anything,” and with that he opened his book and continued reading.
***
The date was going terribly. This guy was nice enough, but your mind was elsewhere. He was currently droning on about his degree in finance, which in your current state you couldn’t care less about.
Why did Minghao say that, and why did he say it like that. You replayed the way his eyes raked down your frame, almost too subtle to realize what was happening. Does he do that often and you’ve just never noticed?
“Are you okay?” the man who was actually across the table, actually on a date with you pulled you out of your thoughts. You had just started to push the vegetables on your plate around with your fork.
“Uh…” you looked up at him, who was looking at you expectantly, “Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just not feeling the best” which wasn’t technically a lie.
“Oh!” he nodded, “let me get the check, I’ll get you home, I wouldn’t want you feeling worse because you stayed out here with me”
He was a nice guy, too bad this wasn’t going to work out.
***
“Xu Minghao” you threw open his bedroom door. He sat up in bed, his hair falling in his eyes, taking his headphones off. He took in the sight of you, still in your dress, fuming in the doorway to his bedroom.
“You’re home early,” he pointed out, as you walked further into his room.
“Yeah!” you threw your hands up dramatically, “Because of you!” you got close enough to poke him in the chest, “what the fuck did you mean by that”
“By what?” his eyes lowered to your finger, still prodding his chest, “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Yes, you do,” you almost growled, pushing your finger into his chest slightly more forcefully, “you have to tell me what you meant.” He reached up and closed his lithe fingers around your single one, eyes traveling from where your hands met to your eyes.
“Beg” he said simply. The single word had heat pooling in your stomach and color flooding your cheeks.
“What?” you squeaked trying to avoid the intense eye contact.
“You heard me” he lowered his voice, “beg”
“Minghao….” he looked at you, waiting, “please tell me what you meant…” you whispered hesitantly. He dropped your hand, which fell to your side, as if it weighed a thousand pounds. He then swiftly gathered your hair at the nape of your neck and pulled until your head tilted up, forcing you to look at him.
“I need you to really show me you want to hear this,” his breath fanned over your face, you didn’t even realize he had gotten so close to you, “because once it’s said there’s no going back” he searched your eyes frantically for understanding. You simply nodded, “ask again”
“Minghao, I need to know,” you whined. The heat in your stomach was undeniable at this point, and unconsciously you squeezed your thighs together, “I need to know why you said those things earlier,” his grip in your hair tightened, “and why you looked at me like that”
“Oh” the flush in his cheeks was back, “Y/n, was he worth it?” he asked, “did he deserve to see you in that pretty dress that you’ve been saving for something special?” You shook your head, honestly surprised that he remembered, “use your words, baobei”
“I don’t know Hao” your hands found purchase on his thighs, he moved to the edge of the bed and dangled his feet off the side and pulled you to stand between his knees, “I couldn’t think about anything but what you said,” his hand dropped out of your hair and moved to take a fistful of the fabric of your skirt instead,
“Good” his other hand mirrored its opposite, “I want to be the only reason you wear this dress, I want to see it on you, but y/n, god right now all I really want is to see it on the floor of my bedroom” pulling you as close as possible his plush lips crash into yours. To say you were surprised would be an understatement, but not that you were complaining. His lips moved feverishly while his careful fingers found the zipper on the back. You shivered as the cool air hit your exposed back as he unzipped the dress painfully slowly.
The dress pooled around your feet as he let it fall off of you. He pulled away from your lips and took in the sight of you, wearing a lacy matching bra and underwear set. “You were going to let him fuck you” he muttered knowingly, “you never fuck on the first date”
“This wasn’t the first date”
“He deserved a second date, and he could’ve even had you” he smirked, “I messed things up pretty bad” before you even had time to think he was pulling you up onto his bed and flipping you so you were under him. He took his time, worshiping, kissing, licking and biting. You could feel your panties sticking to your pussy at this point and you were desperate for some relief. A whine escaped your lips as you once again squeezed your thighs together. You heard Minghao click his tongue, before he was taking your panties off.
He looked at your glistening cunt, all wet and ready for him. Lowering himself to greet you with his tongue, he never broke eye contact with you. Until he licked the first fat stripe, getting a taste of you. At this, your eyes screwed shut. Minghao had no trouble finding your clit, he attached his lips to it and began to suck. A breathy moan escaped you, and as if spurred on by the reaction Minghao began slowly swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. Your hand flew to his hair and tugged at the longer pieces at the nape of his neck. You earned a moan into your pussy in return, the vibrations making the coil in your stomach tighten.
“Do that again,” he begged, breathlessly, before returning his tongue to its duties. You did as you were told, pulling his hair a little harder this time. You felt Minghao line up two fingers at your entrance and slowly slip them inside.
Somehow despite never doing anything like this together before, Minghao seemed to know your body, he found the spongy spot inside of you and curled his fingers to reach it. He slowly pumped his fingers, in and out, in tandem with his ruminations on your clit. You were quickly becoming undone, and Minghao could tell by the way you were bucking your hips.
He took his mouth away from your cunt, and the cool air hitting you made you whine. He moved back so he could watch his fingers disappear inside you. He felt the wetness drip down his fingers as he added a third.
“Fuck yourself on my fingers” he watched as you picked up your pace, desperately trying to reach the rapidly approaching high. Your moans grew desperate as you moved your hips, the drag of his slender fingers feeling delicious on your walls, “He never deserved to see you like this, only me”
“H-Hao” you desperately called.
“I know” he watched your hips sputter, “Cum on my fingers, baobei” that was all you needed for the coil in your stomach to snap. Your eyes shut so tight you were seeing stars, and practically screaming for Minghao.
He slowly removed his fingers and ran to go get supplies to clean you up. Neither of you really knew what this meant, but what Minghao did know was that he liked the visual of your dress on the floor when he came back with a towel and a glass of water.
❥ pairing: lee seokmin x gn!reader
❥ theme: meet cute, strangers to something
❥ wc: ~3.4k
❥ warnings: fluff, language barrier, mentions of alcohol, author is obviously down bad, author also obviously doesn't live in london (let them live)
❥ a/n: this was supposed to be for valentine's day but kind of turned into a bigger project than i anticipated so it's for seokmin's birthday as well! i really like this one so please let me know what you think!! likes and reblogs appreciated
This wasn’t your scene. Oh God this was not your scene. Your friends always want to go clubbing on Friday nights, and being a good friend you always gave in. However, right about now, when the music was vibrating your skull, being anywhere else sounded amazing.
“y/n!” the voice of your friend pierced through the noise and brought you back from inside your head, “come take a shot!” she smiled at you. Reluctantly you joined your friends, all drunker than you. Someone shoved the small glass into your hand and you threw it back easily and quickly. The liquid burned all the way down into your stomach, you felt your cheeks flush with heat.
Eyes wandering toward the exit of the crowded bar, the thought crossed your mind to leave. Looking back toward your friends they were once again engaged in their own conversations, paying little attention to you. They all expect you to slip out early without telling anyone, you always do.
Cool air bloomed in your lungs and you felt like you could breathe for the first time tonight. The street in front of you was not particularly crowded, the walk home will probably be easy and refreshing. Taking another deep breath of fresh air you began in the direction of your flat. The city used to excite you, but these days you’d rather be home with some tea and a good book. You really wished you had stayed home tonight.
“Excuse me?” you heard a timid voice cut the silence. You suppressed a groan, you hadn’t even been walking for five minutes. Turning toward the source of the voice you were met with the confused face of a man, “Do you know…a place to eat?” he asked, accompanying the question with an eating motion with his hand.
“Uh yeah, there’s a great place down the street a ways and around the corner, if you go past Pennie’s you’ve gone way too far,” looking back at the man you could see the concentration on his face as he tried to remember your directions. Feeling bold from the remaining alcohol in your system you took a step closer to him, “I’ll show you, I could go for a bite too” He smiled at you then, the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, even in the darkness of the street you swear his teeth were shining.
“Thank you” he finally said with a bow of his head, breaking your trance and setting your feet in motion. The two of you walked side by side, your arms folded around you, and him clutching his camera. The walk was silent, aside from the man asking to stop to snap pictures a few times. It was odd though, the silence was never once uncomfortable for you, and he made no indication that it was for him either.
Every so often you glanced up at him, getting a better look at him now that the street was more well lit. You noticed his strong nose first, the way the light settled on his face made him look ethereal. Judging by his amazement for a shitty London street, you knew he was a tourist. Looking back at your feet you smiled to yourself, it was nice to see someone so excited about something you see every day.
“This is it!” you smile at him as the two of you approach the restaurant. He nods at you, seemingly waiting for you to enter. He trails behind you as you enter the building and inform the staff that you’ll be needing a table for two. Once you were seated you broke the tension, “So…where are you from?” you asked hesitantly.
“I am from Korea” he spoke slowly, but you saw his eyes light up at your question. Speaking of his eyes, sitting across the table from him you now saw them fully, a warm brown that compliments his tanned skin nicely. There are crinkles at the corners of his eyes, indicating that smile he flashed at you in the street was a normal part of his communication.
“That’s far,” you remarked, taking a sip of your water, “what brings you here?”
“Mmm” he thought for a moment, “holiday” he answered simply. You nodded as he looked around the restaurant, “my name is Seokmin” his eyes found yours again.
“My name is y/n” you exchanged with a small smile. Something about the kindness in his eyes made you squirm under his gaze. When the waiter came around to your table you once again decided to be bold, ordering fish and chips for Seokmin and yourself. If he came all the way from Korea you felt it was your duty to show him London’s best classics. Was it jumping too far to feel like he had met you in the street for a reason?
“Two beers, please” Seokmin’s voice pulled you from your thoughts once again. He was smiling up at the waiter holding up two fingers. The waiter nodded and headed toward the kitchen.
“Good call” you smiled at him, hoping to get a better look at his face when he smiles in return. Just your luck, he turned to you beaming. His eyes do crinkle when he smiles.
The food came quickly, not that you would have minded if it took a little longer than usual. Seokmin has a way of making you feel at ease, even in a social situation that would typically make you incredibly nervous. He did his best keeping up with conversation, you felt terrible about not being able to communicate in his native language.
Seokmin stared down at his plate, his eyes widening at the amount of food. “Try it, try it” you nearly squealed. You did not even dare to pick up your fork until you knew he liked the food. Your eyes followed the movement of his hand as his delicate fingers picked his fork up from the table. He lifted the bite of fish to his lips and popped it in his mouth. Immediately, he let out a satisfied sound.
“This is good!” he smiled after he swallowed. You smiled back at him and cut the fish with your forkl as well. At some point in the meal, you were completely enthralled in Seokmin. The way he moved interested you even and even though you didn’t know nearly anything about him, somehow you knew you had never met anyone like him.
Something then made him laugh under his breath. Putting your glass down you gave him a questioning look. Trying not to smile, he gestured with his finger around his mouth. At this, your hand flew to your lips and you flushed with embarrassment as you felt the foam from your beer on your upper lip.
You could hear him nearly choking on his laugh and your eyes lifted again to meet his. Immediately, he tried to avert his glance, but you could tell he was still stifling his giggles. You felt your cheeks heat up again, and butterflies settle in your stomach. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in that moment. Pulling out your phone and positioning it so he was in your view finder you remarked,
“You should see how silly you look trying to hold back your teasing,” his eyes crinkled again at this, butterflies erupted in your stomach, and he threw up a peace sign, inviting you to take the picture. “Look!” you exclaimed, turning your phone so he could see the picture. Seokmin was laughing now, throwing his head back and clapping, the whole thing. You were lucky that in his excitement, he missed the fond look you gave him without even realizing.
“Do you know your way back to where you’re staying?” you asked earnestly once the two of you had paid and were outside the restaurant. He nodded at you and turned his phone, much like you did earlier, so you could see that he had the address and walking directions pulled up. “Good, now,” you pulled your phone out, “give me your number, I don’t want you getting lost”
***
Your life continued as normal the next day. Waking up, thankful you didn’t drink much the night before, you slipped out of bed toward the kitchen. Clicking on the kettle you think about the night before. Meeting Seokmin almost felt like it was a dream, but you have a photo on your phone to prove it wasn’t. He had also insisted that you send the picture you took, so you do have at least one thread of text conversation.
You reached for a mug, wishing you were taller, and heard your phone buzz on the counter. Assuming it was one of your friends texting you asking where you disappeared to last night, you continued to make your tea. Then your phone buzzed two more times, none of your friends would be that desperate to talk to you. Once your tea bag was securely in your mug you grabbed your phone.
Seokmin (fish n chips guy): y/n
Seokmin (fish n chips guy): the bus
Seokmin (fish n chips guy): ?????
Your heart skipped a beat realizing he actually texted you. Then, you began laughing realizing what he was asking.
You: do you need help?
Seokmin (fish n chips guy): yes
Seokmin (fish n chips guy): please
Seokmin (fish n chips guy) sent their location
Oh. Oh. He wanted to meet up again, you nearly spat out your tea seeing the notifications pop in. Checking his location you saw that he is at a bus stop a twenty minute walk away from you. You scrambled to get ready and ran out the door.
You saw him immediately when you rounded the corner to the stop. He was looking through his pictures on his camera, fully engrossed in his task. He looked up as you approached and moved toward you.
“y/n” he breathed
“How may I help” you smiled, giving a dramatic bow. He moved toward you, pulling out his phone. Standing at your side he showed his phone screen, with a bus route pulled up. “oh, easy” you looked up at him, trying not to blush at the sudden closeness, “I take that bus all the time”
You paid Seokmin’s bus fare, it’s the least you could do after he paid for the dinner you invited yourself to last night. Seokmin dragged you by the sleeve to the back of the bus, which is a place you would normally avoid but seeing how excited he was, you didn’t mind.
As the bus began to move Seokmin watched out the window, the city zooming by. You watched him watch the window. He looked cute when he was focused. The thick black framed glasses perched on his nose reflected the scenery. Without thinking you pulled out your phone, snapping a picture of him just like last night. Seokmin must have seen you out of the corner of his eye because he turned toward you.
He raised his camera and watched you through the viewfinder for several moments. You covered your face with your hands in a futile attempt to hide your blushing cheeks. You heard the shutter click a few times and then silence. Removing your hands you look up at him to find he is looking right back at you. Seemingly he became flustered and turned back towards the window.
You realized halfway through the trip, you weren’t actually sure where you two were going. Sure, you took this route all the time, but you didn’t know where Seokmin wanted to go. The only indication you had that it was time to get off the bus was Seokmin standing up suddenly. It was a stop you never get off at, but you follow him out and onto the street.
He grabbed his phone and pulled you closer to him by your sleeve. You felt your stomach swoop at the sudden breaking of the flimsy wall between you. Trying to not read too far into his action you glanced at his phone. He had pulled up the walking directions to a nearby thrift shop.
The walk was not too long, and the two of you passed the time easily. Every so often Seokmin would point something out and tell you the Korean word for it, which in turn you would give him the English word. His eyes were trained on you so attentively when you spoke it made you almost nervous.
Rounding the corner you saw the store he was hoping to visit. You may have been here once or twice, but it’s nowhere you frequent. He pulled the door open and held it for you. You smiled at him as a thanks, which earned you a blinding smile in return. Lucky you.
The two of you strayed away from each other, looking in different sections for a while. You swiped through the selection of shirts in your size, trying not to look around for Seokmin. The fabric in your hands didn’t feel real, you were distracted. You moved around to the rack of pants, which was closer to the set of stairs in the store which led to the music section upstairs.
You continued to browse through the pants, not really interested. Movement near the stairs made you look up, Seokmin was looking at the records hanging on the wall. He investigated them on his own for several moments, fully engrossed, before looking around for something, you hoped it was you he was looking for. As if he could read your mind his eyes settled on you from across the room, smiling, he called
“Jagiya!” As soon as the word rolled off his tongue, his eyes widened and his hand flew to his mouth. He obviously was under the impression he said something he shouldn’t have, if only you knew what it meant, “y/n” he corrected himself after taking a moment to calm down. You left the rack of pants behind almost immediately,
“Hmm?” you hummed once you were at his side on the stairs. Sleeves of your jackets brushing against each other. Seokmin pointed at the records on the wall, he was obviously excited. “Music lover, hm?” you smiled up at him.
“Yes” he smiled back, eyes almost closed, “I’m a singer” he added. Seokmin wished you could see your face right now, you looked amazed at the confession, your lips forming a little ‘o’.
“You’ll have to sing for me sometime” you said before remembering you had no idea how long you would be around each other. However, he just beamed and nodded at you. The two of you wandered around the music store upstairs for a while, Seokmin taking a particular interest in the selection of The Beatles vinyls.
Watching him closely, you noted the ring he wore, the delicate way he moved through the records. Seokmin was so interesting to you, everything he did seemed to be with purpose, but he also seemed carefree at times. Again, you wished so desperately to be able to communicate with him easier.
Eventually, you made it out of the store. The sun bit through the cold of the air and warmed your face. Closing your eyes you moved to face the sun and took a deep breath. You stayed here for several moments before hearing the click of Seokmin’s shutter again. Your eyes snapped open and toward him, his camera still raised, he watched you through the viewfinder again.
“Hey!” you laughed, “Stop that”
“You look happy” he replied simply, lowering his camera, looking at you fondly. There was nothing to do about the blush blooming across your cheeks, and you did nothing to hide it this time. He walked toward you and gestured down the street, “shall we walk?” he suggested.
The walk was quiet, but again, comfortable. Seokmin switched what hand he was carrying his camera in, letting the hand closest to you drop to his side. Periodically, his knuckles brushed against yours, giving you the feeling of electricity running up your arm every time. The tension crackled between the two of you until Seokmin stopped in front of a restaurant, “Hungry?” he looked at you, tilting his head to the side, a gesture that reminded you so much of a puppy it was insane.
“So hungry,” you agreed. Soon enough the two of you were seated at a booth that felt more like a couch. Comfortable silence fell between you as you looked over the menu, you eyed him a few times before he put his menu down.
After your orders were placed Seokmin brought out his camera and began to look through his photos. Every so often he would tilt the screen so you could see, most of the shots he showed you were of you. Suddenly, his phone began to buzz incessantly. You watched as his eyebrows knit together in confusion and he picked up his phone to check it.
“Ah” he sighed, and placed his phone face down back on the table, “My friend Soonyoung….” his eyes drifted around the restaurant, he was thinking of what to say next, “jagiya—“ he laughed and clutched the white knit beanie that sat on his head, “my English”
“Talk to me in Korean,” you shrugged nonchalantly, “I won’t understand, but I’ll listen” you assured him. His eyes lit up, and he immediately began talking animatedly. You were amazed at the change in him once he was speaking comfortably. Watching him attentively you took in the way his hands accompanied his enthusiasm.
You could tell, Seokmin was a person who was just full of love. Anyone lucky enough to be on the receiving end of that love was someone you were jealous of. You would do anything to sit in his light for as long as he would allow you.
***
“My last day” Seokmin’s voice still laced with sleep mumbled through your phone. You don’t know what possessed him to call you this morning but you would never complain.
“Today?” you asked, feeling a bit nervous, “do you have plans?”
“Mhmm” he hummed, “Join me later?” you could feel your heart jump up into your throat at the question.
“Of course” you mumbled trying to steady your voice.
Seokmin (fish n chips guy) sent a location
The sun setting overhead cast the street in watercolors of pinks and blues. Your eyes scanned through the throng of people all here to watch the sunset over the river. He caught your attention almost instantly, he was facing away from the river, arms propped up on the stone barrier, eyes closed enjoying the night air.
As you approached you watched as the breeze caught his bangs and ruffled them. Before making your presence known you snapped a picture of him looking so serene.
“Hey” you ventured, now right in front of him. His eyes cracked open, taking in your frame. Almost instantly his face was overtaken with a smile.
“Hi” he replied. You moved to stand next to him, facing the river and he turned to look out with you. Both of you stood in quiet contemplation for several minutes.
“You know,” you broke through the tension, “I haven’t been here in so long.” your eyes trained on the clock face of Big Ben across the water, “Somehow, you’ve reminded me of all the parts of my city I love” Seokmin shifted to face you,
“I love the city,” you met his eyes, it felt as though he was trying to tell you something.
“You leave tomorrow” you turned toward him, “is it weird if I say I’ll miss you?” Seokmin shook his head as the wind picked up. Once more, the breeze caught both of your hair. Seokmin moved to brush yours aside, searching your eyes to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable. You were glued to your spot, you wouldn’t dare move. Finally you felt his slender fingers in your hair, tucking it behind your ear.
You felt your breath hitch in your lungs as Seokmin’s fingers trailed down and he cupped your cheek with his hand. Absentmindedly, you melted into his touch.
“I leave tomorrow” he sighed as he echoed your previous statement. His other hand found your other cheek and his thumb brushed against it softly. The both of you stood frozen for a moment, neither of you wanting to break the spell.
Suddenly, Seokmin was leaning down toward you, and you felt his soft lips brush yours. The kiss was quick, but full of meaning. It seemed like he was communicating all the things he had wanted to say over the last few days that he couldn’t find the words for.
Howl truly is the man of all time. He’s a playboy. He’s a malewife. He fell in love with a ninety year old woman. He’s a rugby player. He smells like hyacinths. He’s not a natural blond. When dying his hair went slightly wrong, he filled his home with slime. He has a PhD. He’s a wizard. He found a way to another universe and he told absolutely nobody about it. He makes video games about the magical universe for his nephews. He can’t play the guitar. He always takes a guitar with him when he’s trying to seduce a woman. He’s a self-proclaimed coward. He got drunk to trick himself into doing something dangerous. He overcharges for his services to rich people. He undercharges for his services to poor people. A woman invaded his home and declared herself his cleaning lady and he just let her stay. He loves spiders. He lies about his surname to everyone, including royalty. The true spelling of his first name is Howell, but we don’t find out until halfway through the book because the POV character thinks it’s spelled Howl. He’s even Welsh.
♡ pairing: boo seungkwan x afab!reader
♡ theme: college au, nonidol!au
♡ wc: ~6.2k
♡ warnings: swearing, smut, reader is gender neutral but wears a skirt, fingering (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex (stay safe y’all), creampie, petnames (f. receiving - baby), fluff at the end if you squint
♡ a/n: this whole thing is a highly self-indulgent fic so if reader is down horrendous for bsk… u know why
‧₊˚✩彡 moodboard by @myhimbomingi ‧₊˚✩彡
You fucking hate Tuesdays.
There’s nothing actually wrong with your Tuesday schedule - on the contrary it’s probably the best day of the week in terms of lectures and extracurriculars. Your first class of the day, Developmental Psychology, doesn’t start til 11am, so you get to sleep in - always a win in your book. Afterwards you have an hour and a half break, usually spent by eating lunch in the student center and then a visit to the campus library to get some studying done. Then your 2pm Discussion for your Intro to Fiction class, followed by yoga at the gym - and since your work-study job at the Cognitive Research Lab doesn’t have you scheduled for Tuesdays, you get to go home right after. All in all, a pretty laid-back day in your hectic college life.
Except for that stupid 2pm Discussion.
As a Psychology major you didn’t anticipate having to take any Literature courses, but you needed to fill an elective and Intro to Fiction had a reputation for being a fun, low-stakes course. It also fit conveniently into your Fall Semester schedule, so you signed up. Professor Mendoza turned out to be super nice and never gives any bullshit extra homework, and the assigned books have been surprisingly enjoyable. No, none of that is the problem.
The problem is the hot TA you’ve inadvertently fallen in love with.
Your first encounter with Seungkwan had been a bit embarrassing - the first week of the semester you somehow went to the completely wrong building, and even with speed walking you arrived to Discussion about five minutes late. You tried to sneak in quietly but the loud, creaky door hinge had other plans. Twenty-some pairs of eyes turned to stare at the idiot latecomer, but the pair you locked onto were the soft brown ones surrounded by long dark eyelashes, belonging to the blazer-wearing grad student standing at the front of the classroom.
You would’ve been embarrassed in this situation anyway, but the unexpected eye contact made your stomach drop and your face turn hot. You stood there for a few moments too long, before muttering a feeble “sorry” under your breath as you made your way to the only empty seat in the room - which of course was located at the very front, immediately before the TA. You quickly took your seat and pulled out a notebook (not even the right one, but you were too frazzled to notice). The TA, whose name you missed due to being late, resumed his lecture. You started writing down everything he was saying - definitely not necessary, but you were doing your best to focus without looking up.
Your face eventually stopped burning up, but this classroom was particularly warm and stuffy. You set down your pen and took your cardigan off, hanging it over the back of the chair. Mindlessly looking up, you look at the TA for the first time since sitting down. He too had discarded his outerwear - the muted brown herringbone blazer now laying aside on the teacher’s desk upon which he was leaning. His dark brown shoes matched his dark pants - which weren’t tight but certainly hugged his thighs nicely, but you tried not to think about that - and he was currently rolling up the sleeves of his medium gray button down - and you definitely tried not to think about that. You put your head back down and focused on your note-taking, transcribing everything without actually processing any of what he said. This was all very strange for you - sure some of your past TAs had been nice looking, but why was this particular one making you this flustered?
The clock ticked on at an unbearably slow pace. You took your notes and paid no attention, not joining in on the conversation even once. You just have to make it through the hour, you kept telling yourself. But the hour seemed to never end.
You snap out of it as the TA finally wraps up the class.
“Don’t forget to read through chapter 5,” he reminds everyone. You realize you don’t even know which book you’re supposed to be reading, but it’s too late to ask now - you’ve looked like enough of a fool today already. Quickly packing your bag, you try to make your escape but as you are heading toward the door the TA calls out to you. Shit.
“I just need to get your name - for attendance,” he tells you as you turn back around.
“Oh… yeah,” you reply. You silently curse yourself for how stupid you sound. You tell him your name and he makes note of your attendance in his notes. You try to escape again but not before he sticks his hand out to you.
“Seungkwan,” he introduces himself. You make the mistake of looking into those big round doe eyes again. He was even more beautiful up close. SHIT.
You shake his hand, trying to do so as quickly as possible, but he has a very strong grip.
“Nice to have you in class,” he says warmly.
“Nicetomeetyoutoo!” you reply, taking your hand back and turning to dart out the door before he can get another word in.
You don’t look back, so you don’t see how his eyes are glued to you as you hurriedly exit the classroom.
—
You thought after a few classes you’d get over your dumb little crush on your TA, but four weeks into the semester and it’s only gotten worse. Now that you know where the stupid building is, you always make sure to arrive to Discussion early so you can snag a seat in the very back - as far away from him as you can manage - but this only allows your mind to wander. Watching him from the back of the class, you’ve unintentionally memorized his subtle habits: the way he takes his glasses case out of his bag at the beginning of each class, opening it and wiping the lenses clean with a cloth before placing them on his face with two hands, delicately moving his hair off to the side as not to obscure his vision; the way he leans against the desk, resting his weight on his palms as he listens to the students engage in conversation about the current book; the way he holds his well-worn copy in his left hand when referencing the text, flipping through the dog-eared pages filled with highlights and notes written in ink in the margins, laying the book on the desk pages-down to preserve his place when he goes to write important points on the chalkboard; the way he carefully erases the board as not to create a cloud of dust, wiping his hands together away from his body as not to get chalk on his perfectly pressed clothes; the way he focuses so intently when somebody is speaking, maintaining eye contact and nodding his head slightly, giving them his full attention.
That last one is why you never say a word in that class. You’re pretty sure you would combust on the spot.
Unfortunately, your entire grade for the Discussion portion of the course is based on actually engaging in the discussion - and based on your participation thus far you were right on track for getting an entire zero. I’ll say something next week, you tell yourself - then next week rolls around and you don’t say a damn thing. And repeat. You just hope Seungkwan doesn’t say anything to you.
But he does.
You freeze upon hearing your name as you’re gathering your belongings at the end of session. You look up and meet his gaze, doing your best to maintain a relaxed demeanor. It’s only a little eye contact, just chill.
“Yeah, what’s up?” you respond nonchalantly. He gives you a bit of an inquisitive look, so you add on a polite smile.
“I’ve noticed you haven’t participated at all during discussion so far - you know that’s what I have to grade you on, right?”
“Oh yeah, um- I’ve been… I’ll work on that.”
The look on his face tells you he’s not convinced. “I graded your first essay - you showed exemplary comprehension and your analysis was one of the best ones I’ve read.”
You feel your stomach do a flip. The sudden praise caught you off guard.
“Oh uh, thank you,” you stammer, trying not to display how flustered you are but undoubtedly failing.
You make the mistake (again) of making direct eye contact with Seungkwan. It lasts maybe two seconds, but feels like time has slowed; the world has stopped; nothing matters but you and him, standing alone in this room together. You’ve never wanted to impulsively kiss somebody this bad in your life.
You force yourself back to reality.
Seungkwan continues. “But, if you’re having some trouble with this particular novel,” he says as he holds up his book, “you can always stop by my office hours with any questions.”
You glance at his copy of Dracula. It’s a standard size paperback, but it looks small in his hand - a hand so strong and defined, yet elegant, fingers long and graceful…
Nope. Not gonna think about that right now.
“I hold them every Thursday from 3-5pm - in this building, room 430. Top floor - all the way at the end of the hallway.”
You nod - looking at him without making direct eye contact. “Cool cool. I’ll uh… Thanks, I might take you up on that.”
“Of course,” he replies matter-of-factly. He pauses, then adds with a slight smile, “It is my job after all.”
Picking up his coat, he heads toward the door, and you follow. He holds the door open for you; as you pass by him you catch the scent of his cologne: woody but fresh, notes of patchouli and bergamot. You utter a soft “Thank you”. He nods chivalrously.
Exiting the discussion room, he starts heading in the opposite direction as you. “See ya around!” you blurt out suddenly. He pauses - turning over his shoulder, he nods once more at you. “Have a good one,” he responds cordially. Maybe you’re seeing things, but his eyes seem to linger on you for a split second longer than one would expect.
You watch him walk away for as long as you can get away with without being detected.
As you make your way to the gym you ruminate over what he told you. Office hours. You didn’t really see a need to go - you weren’t actually having any trouble with the book. And of course office hours are open to all students, but the chance that you might be alone in a room with him again, having a one-on-one conversation…
You try to push the thought aside. You arrive to yoga, prepared to clear your head - but you spend the whole class thinking about Seungkwan. You head home after class, sitting on the bus with your headphones in, blasting your favorite album - but still your mind dwells on your TA. You get home and sit down to continue the novel, reading the next chapter - but you quickly give up. You’re absorbing none of the story, so you’d have to reread it anyway.
Maybe you will go to office hours after all.
—
Thursday. You’ve been trying not to think about Seungkwan’s office hours, but of course it’s just the white bear experiment all over again - the harder you tried, the more you ended up thinking about it. Your last class - Statistics - ends at 3:30pm, so you have all day to debate whether to go or not. Damn him for holding them so late in the day.
Your Stats professor could not be a more uninteresting lecturer if he tried. You spend most of the class stifling your yawns as you do your best to pay attention, to no avail. Finally, the clock hits 3:30 and class is dismissed. You have to make your decision now - so naturally you end up going to the library to procrastinate said decision and mull it over some more.
After many wasted minutes trying (and failing) to get some homework done, you check the time: 4:19pm. With a sigh you open up your book to leaf through the pages, looking for something you could make up some bullshit question about. Nothing. Mildly peeved, you open your laptop and pull up trusty sparknotes.com. All the discussion questions seem too juvenile, and you’re pretty sure you’d manage to make a fool of yourself if you tried to ask a question you already knew the answer to.
You decide to abandon your plan to drop by with specific questions and instead just hope and pray there will be other students there so you can simply join in on their conversations. If there aren’t… you’ll just have to figure that out when you get there.
You make your way to the Literature Studies building, realizing upon your arrival there is no elevator - and your destination is on the top floor. Cursing the building for being old, you trek up the stairs in search of room 430, which - as he mentioned - appears to be at the very end of the hallway. Nearly there, you abruptly decide to backtrack to the restroom you passed to check yourself in the mirror real quick, which turns out to be a mistake because now you’re hyperaware of how anxious (and for some reason, frumpy) you look right now. Nice going you idiot.
Doing your best to make yourself presentable, you tussle your hair a bit and fix the collar of your shirt back to its proper position. You decide it’s good enough and go to exit the bathroom, pausing when you remember that you have a tinted lip balm you threw in your bag last minute. Rummaging through your bag for a solid 20 seconds, you find the tube at the very bottom and hastily apply it to your lips. Taking a step back, you take a final glance at your reflection - the balm is neutral-colored and fairly subtle, but makes you look slightly less dead. You’ll take the W.
You make your way back down the hallway toward room 430. Approaching the end of the hall, you hear voices engaged in conversation. You pull out your phone to quickly check the time: 22 minutes of office hours remaining. Good enough, I guess. You’re three steps away from the doorway when you hear a familiar voice chime in - a voice soft and soothing, confident without being cocky. You proceed to enter the office before you have a chance to process how it’s making you feel.
You find yourself in a room small yet cozy - bookshelves built into the wall that go all the way up to the ceiling, stacked with endless literature: many classics you’ve heard of, many others you haven’t. There’s no overhead lighting, but two antique-ish looking floor lamps illuminate the room with a warm-toned glow. An old, large mahogany desk fills nearly half the room, its accompanying chair vacant. Two fellow classmates are seated in the two smaller chairs facing the dark leather loveseat upon which your TA is currently sitting - reclined, one leg over the other knee, hand on the open book laying face down on the couch next to him. The three faces turn to look at you as you enter, bringing their conversation to a halt. You fucking hate being collectively perceived in any circumstance, but something about the intimacy of the room makes this particular situation even worse than usual. You feel your face start to turn warm but you quickly shove the embarrassment back down. Not today.
Seungkwan greets you amiably, your name sounding sweet in his mellow voice. “Glad you could make it! Come on in, have a seat.” He picks up the paperback by his side and sets it on his lap, motioning for you to sit next to him.
Right. Next. To. Him.
Ignoring the million panic alarms going off in your head, you force a small smile and take your seat. The couch is even smaller than it seemed - there’s maybe two feet between you and him. You’re greeted with the inviting scent of his cologne.
The two students resume their discussion. You sit there mostly in silence, nodding along, trying not to fixate on Seungkwan’s closeness. But it’s hard to focus on anything other than that - like, really hard.
The twenty-ish minutes pass rather quickly, and the conversation that you’ve contributed nothing to starts to wrap up. The two other students begin packing their bags. You pull out your phone to check the time - 4:57pm. A sense of relief washes over you as you’ll be forced to leave now - no more sitting there anxiously not knowing what to say - but you’re also feeling a little sulky about leaving so soon. You politely say goodbye back to your classmates, who are already on their way out the door. You go to put on your jacket only to discover you never took it off (no wonder it felt so warm in here). Grabbing your book and tossing it in your backpack, you hurry to leave as well before you manage to do or say something to embarrass yourself.
“Bye! Thank you!” you say cheerily as you step out the door.
“Y/n?”
You stop in your tracks. You turn around to face Seungkwan, who is still sitting on the couch, reclined, with his arm now laying across the back where you just were. That makes you feel a lot of things, which you promptly ignore.
“Yeah?” you reply, hoping a smile will cover your nervousness.
“I believe you took my book.”
You stand there for a moment, confused, before you realize you never took your own copy out. The one you hastily threw into your bag was his. So much for not embarrassing yourself.
“Oh my god I’m SO sorry!!” you blurt out, swinging your backpack around and hurrying to retrieve it.
“It’s alright,” he says with a soft chuckle. “I did set it right next to you.”
You grab his copy out of your bag and hold it out to him sheepishly. He stands up and takes the book in his hand, his fingers brushing yours slightly. You’ve never been electrocuted, but you’re pretty sure what just jolted through your body was a similar sensation.
“Did you have any questions about the book?” he asks before you can bolt out the door. “You didn’t say much in our discussion today-” You open your mouth to apologize again, but he gently puts his hand up to stop you. “I just want to make sure I can help you if you came here with something specific in mind.”
“Oh, um…” You hesitate, fiddling with your coat sleeve. You decide to tell the truth.
“Honestly, not really. I kinda just came here to get an idea of how I can participate during class. Cuz, y’know. Don’t really want a zero.”
Seungkwan nods. “Your essays have been very good, I know you’re a highly capable student.”
You try not to blush. You know he’s just talking about your coursework, but accepting compliments is not your forté.
“I’m just… not a literature student, so I’m not used to taking classes like these. I guess I just get a little nervous that I’m gonna say something stupid.” You’re not sure why you’re telling him all this.
“As long as you’ve read and understood the text, you won’t sound stupid - I promise.”
You look down at the floor. Maybe these are normal things for TAs to say to students, but the fact that you’re kind of in love with him is not helping right now.
“Besides,” he continues, “I’m the one grading you. I assure you you’ll get a good grade as long as you participate.”
“Well, that’s good news,” you say with a contented smile. You do feel reassured by his words. “Thanks again,” you say, as you turn to leave.
“Oh, and y/n?”
You lock eyes with him, a recurring habit you seem to be unable to quit.
“If you ever can’t make my office hours, feel free to email me. I’m sure we can find another time to meet one-on-one.”
One-on-one???
“Oh cool, I… appreciate that.” Does he say that to all his students?? He must, right? Don’t be delusional…
He nods courteously. “See you in class.”
“You too!” you add brightly as you finally head out the door. This time you do look back to see him still looking at you, with an ambiguous look on his face that you cannot decipher.
For the rest of the week, for once, you find yourself looking forward to Tuesday.
—
Tuesday. You resume your usual very-back-of-the-room spot for Discussion - but this time you finally engage in the class’ conversation. You still feel kinda dumb about it, but your TA’s promise of giving you a good grade so long as you participate sticks with you. Besides, who gives a shit what the other students think of you. There is only one person in that room whose opinion you care about, and you seem to have his approval, for reasons unclear to you. Maybe you are just a decent student. But the fact that there’s maybe something else there… You don’t let yourself develop delusions of grandeur, but there’s no crime in being cautiously optimistic.
On Thursday you find yourself back at office hours, this time arriving a bit earlier - though much to your chagrin the two other students from last time are there again. You’re not sure exactly what you were hoping for if it was just you alone, especially considering you still don’t have any specific questions about the book, but you were kind of hoping it would happen anyway. But alas, you partake in office hours with company. You actually find yourself enjoying these literary discussions a bit, now that you (sort of) know how to engage with them properly.
And so you become a regular at Seungkwan’s office hours - Thursday afternoons quickly becoming the highlight of your week. Nothing out of the ordinary ever happens between you two - and there’s always other students there whenever you attend - but you don’t see any harm in enjoying your time spent with him.
Per usual, though, as finals approach more and more students start attending as well. One week you show up at 3pm sharp, only to find five students already there asking questions about their essays. You acknowledge that it’s probably just wishful thinking, but he does seem genuinely pleased to see you - pausing his conversation briefly to greet you, your name spoken warmly with a smile on his face. You make a mental note that he doesn’t greet anyone else who enters by name.
Seungkwan maintains a very patient and polite composure, but you get the sense that he is rather irked at the several students who are more or less trying to get him to write part of their essays for them. You chat for a few minutes with a friendly classmate you’ve become acquainted with, but ultimately you both give up on trying to talk to the TA and decide to leave. You sneak a quick glance back as you exit, catching Seungkwan’s eye right before you’re out of his line of sight. Though perhaps you weren’t so sneaky, because once you’re in the hallway your classmate nudges you with her elbow and teases, “Ooooh you have a crush on him don’t you?”
You scoff. “Oh please.”
“No seriously, he looked like a sad puppy seeing you go. You should ask him out.”
You roll your eyes and give her a “Yeah, right,” before casually changing the subject. But her comment sticks with you, and for days your mind keeps coming back to it. You’re hesitant to jump to conclusions, but the fact that she noticed it too… Perhaps you will shoot your shot after all.
—
Taking advantage of the fact that you didn’t get a chance to speak with him during his regular office hours, you decide to take Seungkwan up on his offer. You did rewrite the email about 15 times, erase it repeatedly, and almost give up entirely, but in the end you came up with a message you deemed solidly good enough:
Hi Seungkwan,
I was wondering if you have any availability to meet to discuss the current essay. I have a few questions that I feel would be easier to convey in person. I understand finals are a very busy time though, so if you aren’t available I completely understand.
Thank you.
You hit send at 11:57pm on Sunday night, so you figure you’ll get a response the next morning. Before you can even close your laptop, you get an email notification.
Hi y/n,
I’d be happy to meet with you. Are you available Tuesday evening after 6pm? I apologize for the odd hours, but that would be the most ideal time for me. However, if that does not work for you I’m sure we can figure something out.
Seungkwan
You sit and stare at your screen rereading it for a good five minutes. You hit the reply button.
Sure, that works for me! Thank you - I really appreciate it.
The light ping of a notification returns within seconds.
Of course, y/n. See you then.
You shut your laptop, your hand resting on top of it as your mind races, rapidly cycling between excited and anxious. You keep telling yourself to lower your expectations: you’re simply meeting with your TA to discuss your essay - which, you don’t actually have any questions about, so now you’ll have to make some shit up. But that can be a tomorrow problem. Tonight, you go to bed, half-coherent thoughts of literature, exams, and a certain pair of soft brown eyes floating around in your mind as you drift off to sleep.
—
You wake up on Tuesday and immediately enter into panic mode. You can’t seem to focus on anything other than your date meeting with Seungkwan later - which of course you expected, but it’s pretty inconvenient considering you have so much to do with finals rapidly drawing near. Your Discussion class is finished for the semester, so you won’t be seeing him until evening - you’re not sure if this makes things better or worse, but it is what it is. You spend the entire afternoon in the library, sitting amongst the stacks, sort of studying but mostly doing a whole fucking lot of daydreaming instead.
After several hours of minimal productivity, you check the time: 5:36pm. You feel your heart start to beat faster. Since you’re clearly not going to get anything else done, you pack up your belongings and make your way to the Literature building. Might as well get there a little early.
You climb the four flights of stairs to the top floor, the building strangely empty. Making your way down to the very end of the hallway you wonder if Seungkwan will even be there yet or if you’ve arrived early for nothing - but as you approach you notice the door is ajar, the unexpected sound of alt rock music greeting your ears. You knock lightly on the doorframe as you poke your head into the office. Seungkwan, seated behind the large mahogany desk, seemingly absorbed in something on his laptop, looks up - you’ve clearly caught him a bit off guard.
“Hi, sorry - I’m a little early,” you apologize.
His face lights up in a warm smile. “No, uh - that’s alright!” he replies cheerfully. “Go ahead, take a seat,” he says as he gestures to the couch.
You plop your backpack down on the ground and remove your coat, carefully tucking your skirt (a rare choice of clothing for you, but you figured fuck it, why not) under yourself as you take a seat on the comfy sofa. Seungkwan turns the music down to a faintly audible volume and rises from his desk chair, making his way over to you. You expected him to sit in the armchair across from you, but he comes and joins you on the couch instead. You can practically hear the rapid thumpthumpthumpthump of your heartbeat.
“So, tell me about your essay,” he starts. His eyes linger on yours. “What did you have questions about?”
Nonchalantly taking a deep breath, you take out your laptop and open it, pulling up your draft file. You basically had your paper planned out already, but you made up some questions to ask so as not to give away the fact that you literally had no academic reason to be here. You begin to explain your first question, which turns out to be an extremely difficult feat with him not only sitting so close to you, but also gazing at you softly, listening intently. You decide to avoid eye contact almost entirely.
You chat about your essay topic for what feels like an eternity (you glance at the clock on your computer - it’s been 14 minutes). You’re in the middle of discussing the second point of your thesis when he interjects.
“Y/n, why are you really here?”
You feel the blood drain from your face. He’s onto me. It’s over.
“It’s very clear that you understand the book perfectly well. I really don’t think you need my help.”
You slowly look up at him, hesitating before opening your mouth to try and bullshit some response, but nothing comes out.
“You know, I don’t normally schedule one-on-one office hours with students outside of my usual times.”
The blood comes rushing back to your cheeks. You feel like a fucking idiot.
“I’msosorry,” you blurt out. “I really wasn’t trying to waste your time I-”
“That’s not what I mean, y/n.”
You freeze. Does he mean…
Before you can even finish that thought he kisses you.
His hand cradles your face gently, drawing you closer to him as he presses his lips onto yours, electricity pulsing through your entire body - all you can think about is the way his lips feel, the way he softly brushes your cheek with his thumb, the way you want to throw your laptop across the room and throw yourself onto him so you can kiss him even more.
As if he read your mind, he reaches down (still kissing you) and closes your laptop, picking it up and setting it aside carefully. You lap now vacant, he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his, his soft kiss becoming more fervent. Your hand rests on his chest as you kiss him back - you feel the energy of his heart beating, at the same pace as yours, through the cozy sweater he has on. After several seconds (minutes? hours?) his lips part from yours, the sudden lack of sensation leaving you immediately longing for more; they linger mere inches from your face as your eyes meet his sensuous gaze.
“Just one second,” he says in a voice barely above a whisper.
Seungkwan gets up and swiftly shuts the door - you hear the deep, satisfying thunk of the old door closing, followed by the subtle click of the lock. He then walks over to the desk to turn the music up to a decent volume before making his way back over to the couch. He barely resumes his seat before grasping onto you desperately, his face buried as he begins to kiss your neck. You let out a sigh at the unexpected sensation, wrapping your arms around his torso and drawing him in even tighter. His large hands caress your back as if trying to commit your shape to memory, as your hand slowly makes its way down his side - stopping when you reach his belt, resting on the waistline of his jeans which are very obviously becoming tighter by the second.
You hesitate at first, but eventually your hand continues downward; Seungkwan sharply inhales as it lands on his growing bulge, his body tensing up against yours. He pulls his face from the crook of your neck, his lips immediately finding yours again, indulging in another kiss as he pulls you over onto his lap. You begin making out with him, your hand holding his warm, flushed cheek; your core, now exposed aside from the barrier of your underwear, presses against the hardness in his pants, causing soft moans to escape from the both of you. Before long, your hips begin to rock back and forth, grinding on his clothed cock - lightly at first, but with increasing intensity. You break away from his kiss; he looks at you, his eyelids heavy.
“Y/n…” he breathes out as he starts to kiss you again, “you don’t know how… wanted you so bad…”
“Me too,” you mutter.
He slides his hand under your skirt, finding your clit and beginning to circle it gently through your soaked underwear, causing you to whine softly.
“Oh fuck, you’re so wet,” he says in a low, husky voice, his fingertips increasing their pace against the sensitive bud. He then slips his finger under the hem of your panties, pulling them aside to expose your already-swollen cunt, the sharpness of the cool air hitting its wetness. You cry out as he slides one finger into you, followed by another, his thumb continuing to caress your clit. Your hips begin to rock again, fucking yourself against his perfectly-curled fingers that are hitting you in all the right spots, your speed quickly increasing with the overwhelming pleasure that has taken over your entire body. You feel it welling in your stomach, your orgasm growing nearer with each movement. You’re about to lose it when he slows your pace, looking at you with lust-filled eyes - you can tell what it is he wants.
You reach down and undo his belt, unfastening his button and drawing down the zipper. His jeans out of the way, you pull the band of his underwear down, freeing his hardened cock - he lets out a groan as you begin to stroke its length. Precum has already begun to form, your fingers taking the wetness and gliding it over the head.
“Please… wanna fuck you so bad…” He’s practically whimpering at this point.
You slide your pussy up and down his length a few times, causing him to recline his head against the couch as he breathes heavily. Finally you take his cock in your hand, placing it at your entrance and lowering yourself onto him, crying out at the sudden sensation of fullness. He groans as you slowly begin to ride him, his length hitting you in the perfect spot; you have to bite your lip to control yourself from becoming too loud - it feels even better than you’d ever imagined.
You begin to pick up the pace, bouncing on his cock as the sensation in your stomach begins to build again, even stronger now with him inside you. Your cries involuntarily become louder, prompting him to place his other hand over your mouth.
“Shhh, baby - don’t want anyone to hear us.”
You nod, tears welling in your eyes.
His soft grunts become more frequent - you can tell he’s getting close. Your walls squeeze around him tightly as you’re also nearing orgasm. He drops his hand from your mouth so he can grab onto your hips with both hands, holding you tight as he thrusts into you, full of vigor.
“Fuck, I’m so close,” he says, his voice low and gruff.
“Want you to cum in me,” you reply breathily. He nods eagerly. You’re nearly there yourself. You cling to his face, giving him one more kiss before you can’t hold it in any longer.
“Oh fuck I’m gonna cum,” you manage to get out before the white-hot sensation takes over your whole body. You cry out, your walls clenching around him, immediately sending him over the edge - his cock pulses as you feel his cum release inside you.
As you come down from your high your body melts into his as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in. He plants a few soft kisses on your cheek as you sink into him, his cock still inside you. You lay there peacefully for an unknown amount of minutes, the rock music still playing in the background as he rubs your back gently. Eventually you sit up, pressing your nose against his.
“Does this mean I get an A?” you ask jokingly.
He laughs, his nose crinkling as he smiles. “You were going to get one anyway, I assure you the fact that I just had the best sex of my life will have no impact on your grade.”
You break out into laughter. You pause, then ask hesitantly, “Soooo, what does this mean?”
His brown eyes rest on yours. “Well, I suppose we’ll have to figure that out later,” he says pragmatically. A slight tinge of sadness comes across your face, but before you can say anything he continues.
“How does tonight over dinner sound?”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help but smile back at him.
𖦹 pairing: kim hongjoong x gn!reader
𖦹 theme: acquaintances to lovers
𖦹 word count: 2.8k
𖦹 warnings: toxic friendship, anxiety, reader cries, feelings of worthlessness, mentions of reader from previous fic "get him back! named Lacy
𖦹a/n: happy comeback atiny!
moodboard by @myhimbomingi
Dear angel Lacy, eyes white as daisies, did I ever tell you I'm not doing well?
NOVEMBER
The strong aroma of coffee filled your senses, making you scrunch your nose. As often as you did your school work in the coffee shop down the street from your apartment complex you should be used to the smell by now. The music blasting through your headphones made you thankful to be rid of one of the many sensory experiences housed within the building, making the smell almost bearable. This distraction, along with your work splayed out in front of you, however, does prevent you from noticing the figure approaching your table.
This figure swiftly picks up your mug and takes a whiff of its contents, quickly making his face twist into an expression not unlike yours from moments ago. You look up from your work to reprimand this weirdo, only to see Kim Hongjoong, a friend of a friend, lazily plopping into the chair across from you. Hongjoong was speaking animatedly and gesticulating wildly, his voice drowned out by the music pulsing in your ears. Removing your headphones, and looking at him quizzically you catch the end of his rant,
“I mean for goodness sake, Y/N, this is a coffee shop! A good one at that! God damn hot cider…” he trailed off finally looking at you.
“Hello to you too, Hongjoong,” you offered, rolling your eyes “What can I help you with?” you asked removing your other headphone. When you didn’t hear Hongjoong respond you looked up to be met with him looking at you confused, “I mean…what’s happening with Seonghwa and Lacy now?”
“What?” Hongjoong looked around dramatically, “who said something was happening with them?” he asked, leaning towards you resting his chin in his hands.
“Well…” you hesitated, “no one I guess, but when do we really ever talk otherwise?” A brief look of hurt broke across his features before his neutral expression returned.
“What were you listening to before I interrupted you?” He changed the subject. A smirk broke out on his face, seeing your confused expression at his random outburst. Even so, you handed him one of your earbuds and pressed play. He bobbed his head to the song before removing the earbud, “Interesting, you study here everyday?” You nodded, “see you tomorrow” he got up and left the shop.
***
“You ready?” you heard a familiar voice ring out behind you in line. Turning around you took in the sight of Hongjoong, he was smiling widely at you, he had gotten a haircut and half of it was now bleached to be blonde, a stark difference from the natural black on the other side. He was bundled up in his coat and a scarf around his neck, indicating that he may have walked here, or he had intentions of walking at some point today.
“Ready for..what?” you asked, moving forward in line to order your drink. Before Hongjoong had the chance to respond, he was interrupted by the barista at the counter,
“What can I get you today?” she smiled at you.
“A hot spiced cider and an americano” Hongjoong chirped from behind you, he pulled out his card and extended it forward toward the barista. You looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. All you got in return was a smile and a wink before he moved forward to handle the payment pad. The two of you moved toward the order pickup counter,
“You didn’t have to do that,” you offered looking up at him.
“I know,” he smiled, bumping your shoulder with his, “but we’re friends, and I wanted to” this is the first time you’ve heard him refer to the two of you as friends. The statement made you smile, along with a swooping feeling in your stomach. Once the drinks were ready he took both of them and handed the cider to you, “I still can’t believe you come to this nice of a coffee shop to order something other than coffee” he said, shaking his head, “but I digress, would you like to take a walk with me?” seeing your hesitation he added, “I promise you’ll have time to study afterwards” with this addition you agreed to his offer.
The two of you exited the shop and he led you in a way he seemed to find familiar. The walk was shrouded in silence, but not one you found uncomfortable. You clutched onto your cup for warmth, as the November air was beginning to grow brisk as the month hurdled toward winter. Out of the corner of his eye he saw you pull your cup closer to you.
After some walking you found yourself in a park, one you never knew about despite living here for several years. The park was small and the sole bench, you saw now, was obscured by the trees that were displaying gorgeous hues of orange and red. Hongjoong drifted closer to the bench and gestured for you to follow. As you moved closer to him and the bench he turned to you and began to unwrap his own scarf.
“C’mere” he placed the scarf around your neck and wrapped it for you, “it’s cold today” he explained, as if that would make sense of his actions. His hands lingered once the scarf was wrapped warmly around your neck. Hongjoong desperately tried to keep eye contact with you, his eyes would drift to your lips if he wasn’t careful. He knew this moment was fragile and he had no intentions of ruining it. You broke him out of his trance by clearing your throat, “oh” he mumbled, removing his hands from the scarf and taking a seat on the bench. You followed his lead, still unsure what the intentions of this excursion were.
Hongjoong let a thoughtful silence hang in the air, and you were not going to be the one to break it. You took a breath, letting the feeling of the chilly air bloom in your chest and the aroma of fallen leaves fill your senses. You felt serene for the first time in quite some time, even next to someone you only saw at parties you felt relaxed. Soon, it was Hongjoong’s turn to break you out of a trance, “Do you really think I don’t want to talk to you?” he muttered, he was staring straight ahead, fixed on some point in the tree line across from the two of you.
“What?” you blurted, louder than you intended, louder than he had been.
“You said in the coffee shop we only talk when Hwa and Lacy are being Hwa and Lacy” he chuckled, turning toward you, “do you really think that’s the only time we should talk?” he said, his deep brown eyes searching yours. The attention made you flush, your cheeks growing warm.
“I don’t know” you shrugged, pulling the scarf closer to you, trying to hide how you were squirming under his gaze, “we know each other through Lacy, so…” you trailed off as the smell of the leaves was replaced by the smell of his cologne.
“What’s the deal with you and Lacy anyway?” he switched his tactic, clearly not getting anywhere, “I mean you guys barely seem like friends” he added.
“We used to be” you sighed, “and I’d like to be again…but since Seonghwa she’s been different. I hope they work their shit out, but I hope we can be friends like we used to be” you surprised yourself with your honesty. “and Hongjoong? If I’m being honest, I don’t really feel like myself around her either.” feeling the sting of tears threatening in the corners of your eyes you turned away from him.
Hongjoong felt a bit of panic settle in his gut, he wasn’t intending for this to be the way the conversation went. He reached out and hesitated for a moment before placing his hand on your shoulder and turning you toward him. Your eyes were glassy with tears threatening to spill, the sight was enough to make Hongjoong’s heart clench, he really had no idea how much you were struggling with your friendship, and feeling alone.
“You’re amazing,” he said, barely above a whisper, “you know that right?” the tears blurring your vision threatening to spill now did just that. A few streamed down your cheeks, the cold air hitting them. You hadn’t expected to cry, let alone to Hongjoong. However, you couldn’t remember the last time someone had complimented you like that. Going to university in a city several hours away from everyone you knew, aside from Lacy, was lonely. Especially now that your friend was distant, sure you saw her at parties and every so often after your classes, but she and her friends were older than you. You felt partially fooolish for letting her convince you to come to school here now that she had graduated. Just then you felt Hongjoong’s soft hands cup both of your cheeks and you honestly thought he was going to kiss you.
Butterflies erupted in your stomach at the thought. However, he just used his thumbs to brush the tears off your cheeks. Oh. Why were you slightly disappointed? You’re barely friends. What you didn’t know is that he desperately wanted to connect his lips with yours but he didn’t want to take advantage of your emotional state. He settled for continuing to stroke your cheeks with his thumbs. “I really mean it, Y/N, I think you’re amazing”
The two of you stayed at the park for the better part of an hour after that. Hongjoong told you that he likes to come here during his lunch break at work or on the weekends to just think. He seemed to have a lot of thoughts trapped in his head you learned. He was much more thoughtful than you imagined of him, you were accustomed to seeing him at least tipsy, or trying to get there. He decided that the two of you would not talk about Lacy or Seonghwa for the rest of the day, a fact he informed you of quickly after he released your face from his soft grasp. You eagerly agreed to this. Presently you shivered on the bench due to your cider being long gone and the breeze picking up.
“Let’s go” Hongjoong said standing up and extending his hand to you, “you need to study and I have something to show you.” sparing him a questioning glance you took his hand expecting him to let it go once he helped you up off the bench. On the contrary, he interlaced your fingers and began to walk away from the park bench. You decided not to question something for once in your life and embraced the butterflies who took up residence in your stomach that day.
Soon, after a short walk in comfortable silence and Hongjoong’s warm hand in yours, you were standing in front of the familiar house belonging to Seonghwa and Hongjoong. He slipped his hand out of yours and dug his keys out of his pocket.
“You know who” he started, not wanting to fully break his promise of not talking about Seonghwa, “isn’t home, hasn’t been for a few days, probably with uh-“ he looked at you sheepishly ushering you inside. Nodding, you let him invite you in and you realized you’d never been at Hongjoong’s outside of a party situation, not to mention you’ve never been alone with him.
He led you back through the kitchen, towards his bedroom, or where you assume his bedroom was. You had seen Lacy and Seonghwa disappear back this way a time or twenty. He passed a door and then opened another that sat at the end of the hallway. You took in the room, the purple LED lights lining the ceiling and the large computer sitting on the back wall, opposite the bed. “Make yourself comfortable, I have some stuff to work on too, so I won’t disturb your studies, okay?” he slipped off his coat and his shoes, now in a hoodie and jeans. You followed suit and draped his scarf over the back of his computer chair.
The only place to sit in the room, besides the computer chair that Hongjoong was now occupying turning his computer on, was his bed. You were trying to stay calm and not think about how strangely intimate it felt to even be sitting here in the first place. You pulled your textbook out of your bag and got to work on taking notes on your assigned passages.
You don’t know how long Hongjoong and yourself sat together working on your own tasks. Things started off fine, you studied contentedly in the low light of his bedroom, until you dared to sneak a look. Hongjoong, even though all you could see was the back of his head, looked totally in his element. He had some software you didn’t recognize pulled up on his computer screen, but judging by the bobbing of his head and the occasional humming it probably had something to do with music.
A few hours went by with Hongjoong completely unaware of your distraction and your desperate attempts to focus. You barely got through one chapter of note taking when he swiveled around in his chair to face you. You quickly ducked your head down to look at your book, letters swimming around the page. He moved his headphones down around his neck and stretched his arms over his head letting a small groan leave his lips. You looked up at the sound, hopefully being convincing that you didn’t know he had turned around.
“C’mere” he held out his hand but didn’t move any closer to you, “got something to show you”
“Oh?” you inquired, trying to stay calm while you hopped off the bed and crossed the room, taking his hand. He dragged you closer to his chair, and hesitated for a moment. He looked up at you, “can…can you sit with me?” butterflies erupted immediately at the question, “it’s easier that way, you don’t know the controls,” he explained quickly, you could’ve sworn embarrassment dripped from his tone. However, you allowed him to guide you down to sit in his chair with him. You were practically on his lap, his chest against your back.
He took the headphones from around his neck and placed them over your ears. His arms then moved to the keyboard, brushing your sides on the way. He typed a few commands into the program and music began to flood your ears. Hongjoong so desperately wanted to wrap his arms around your middle while you listened but not wanting to push his luck more than he already had he kept his fingers on the keyboard.
The song was good, great even, it had no words but you could feel the emotion in the music alone. You had no idea why he was playing this for you and why it was necessary for you to be in his lap, a blushing mess, for you to listen to it. However, for the second time today, and in your life, you chose not to question something that felt right. When the music faded from your ears you pushed one side of the headset to the side.
“Did you make that?” you asked, craning your neck trying to look at him behind you. When your eyes laid on him you realized he looked just as flustered as you felt.
“I-uh” he blushed, “I did.” he looked at you, “I hope you liked it”
“Hongjoong,” you whispered, once again too scared to break the moment, “it was amazing” you dared to glance at his lips briefly. Everything happened so fast after that, one of his hands was back on your cheek, the other on the ear that the headset remained on, and his lips were on yours. Momentary shock settled in your stomach before even more butterflies grew in its place. Your eyelids sunk closed and you allowed yourself to enjoy this moment.
Hongjoong’s hands moved to your waist and assisted you in readjusting the way you were sitting so you didn’t have to be twisted uncomfortably. You took his headphones off and attempted to place them nicely on the desk. You honestly had no idea if that’s what happened or not. As you slipped your arms around his neck he swiped his tongue against your bottom lip, requesting entrance that you gladly granted.
Hongjoong tasted like coffee, weirdly in his mouth you didn’t mind the taste. Your senses were filled with him, and you tried to understand how you’d gone this long without. Soon, he broke away from you, both of you breathing heavily. His eyes were searching yours again, he didn’t know what he was looking for he just liked looking at you.
“That song you were listening to yesterday?” he broke the silence.
“Mhmm?” you hummed, confused why he was bringing it up right now.
“It sucked” he breathed, “listen to mine from now on”
kurapika is literally there serving cunt wig laid sunglasses the size of the moon THE chicest little hat and jacket combo with his 125000000$ jenny iPhxhone dying of revenge burning with hatred on the quest to avenge his fallen family and leorio is just eating a sandwich and driving. men smh like u couldnt have waited five minutes u HAD to go thru the hxhdonalds drive thru while kurapika is about to combust……