one must know the beast, before it can be slain.

together, we are the f a m i l y,                   and through     u n i t y, we transcend                                the s e l f . indie sofia lamb blog,   from bioshock 2 { sidebar credit }

[muzaiii-archive-blog]

don’t ship with me bc if i know you do angst then i’ll literally hurt you on purpose and then laugh about it

[knowthebeast-blog]

( I’ve had no energy to do anything really these past few days I’ll see what I can do about replies though uou work really, really drains me. I was on an intensive course too so... )

[inwaking-deactivated20230601]

[knowthebeast-blog]

inwaking:

Tʜᴇ Rapture ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ɪs ᴏᴠᴇʀ. 

Aɴᴅ, ɪɴ ᴡᴀᴋɪɴɢ, ɪ ᴀᴍ reborn.

                                                 independent, selective & private Eleanor Lamb ;

i ii iii

[deermemehost]

Alignment Tracker

[knowthebeast-blog]

obscureplainandlittle:

       Chaste ◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌◌◌ Lustful    Energetic ◌◌●◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ Lazy    Forgiving ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌ Vengeful   Generous ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌ Selfish       Honest ◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌◌◌ Deceitful            Just ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌ Arbitrary      Merciful ◌◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌◌ Cruel       Modest ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌●◌ Proud          Pious ◌◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌ Worldly      Prudent ◌◌◌◌●◌◌◌◌ Reckless Temperate ●◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ Indulgent     Trusting ◌◌◌◌◌●◌◌◌◌ Suspicious    Valorous ●◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ Cowardly

[theblessednavigator]

α eheh

α (for my muse wanting to show that they love your muse) (for knowthebeast)

She was having nightmares again. It only happened every once in a while, but when it did, Gil felt terrible. Sofia was the calmest, wisest, and most courageous woman he had ever known. Seeing her like this—like a trembling, whimpering mess—was horribly unnerving. It was also a stark reminder that deep down, they were all human. No one was immune to the pull of the gene. Not even the Holy Mother, who looked anything but holy as she tossed and turned in her bed. Poor thing. Gil didn’t know what happened to her in Japan, but from what he had heard, it was anything but pleasant.

With trembling, unsteady hands, he pulled her blanket up to her shoulders. A moment later, she stopped thrashing. Gil stayed with her for a few more moments, then stood up, leaning heavily on his cane. Sofia slept on, even as he opened the door and stepped outside, but the Navigator didn’t mind. He didn’t need her thanks. The smile on her face was more than enough.

[tombadgerlocks]

in the end, what separates a man – from a slave?

[knowthebeast-blog]

ε margarethe drapes herself across the furniture. SEDUCE me sofia

What was it Margarethe truly wanted? The psychiatrist had been trying to work it out for months. Every conversation with her was like a new person had taken her personality over--one moment she could be so encouraging and talkative, the next withdrawn and snappish. She spoke of wanting finery and riches and, oh, how power allured her! But there was always a lifeless sort of fleck in her eyes, Lamb had noticed. A yearning, some sort of longing.

When the other woman came to her in that mood where she was detached and there was aggression in her face, Sofia could hardly help herself. Margarethe had her arms folded, her back to the doctor, staring out into the plunging abysses of the ocean outside with venom in her expression. Lamb was sure they spent half an hour in complete silence, the only sound penetrating the tension being the clock on her office wall.

But eventually, from what Sofia could see, Margarethe’s expression had softened. Her lips were parting when the psychiatrist started to step forward behind her, that spark of yearning surely returning...

Lamb was so tired of the games between them--and why had Margarethe even came to her today if she wasn’t going to speak? Was it not related to that glimmer in her eyes, that desire? 

She had seen desire many times throughout the years--she knew what it looked like. The doctor advanced upon her suddenly, but there was no abruptness or resistance. It was rather like it was... expected. Pre-ordained, like she had thought. 

The older woman’s broad hands went to Margarethe’s sides on instinct--palms very lightly trailing over the satin fabric of the latter’s dress that clung tight to her curves as always. When this elicited no resistance too but a seemingly positive response instead, the woman’s lips followed suit and were placed to the junction between Margarethe’s shoulder and neck, and then near her throat, and then near her ear... 

A thrill like no other gripped Sofia. She held her mouth against a particular spot on Margarethe’s neck that had made her eyes close, and felt her lips twitching into a smirk.

As always she had won. But this time, it was finality. 

[knowthebeast-blog]

α //deltaxsofia shipping trash AWAY

She had been caught vomiting again. The girls on the storey below couldn’t have heard it in their uproar of happy playing, and Eleanor certainly couldn’t have heard it as she played sports on the lawn with her friends, but like some giant, disfigured guardian angel, he had came to tend to her.

Jacob brought her food and waited until she would eat it, and attempted to console her, and rightfully so, he was angry. The former psychiatrist was throwing away her life by confining herself to her room, refusing to leave the house unless it pertained to Eleanor, and spending her days wasting away. Her frame had grown more thin than sinewy like it once was; her eyes were sullen, her entire body was frail, her hair sometimes came out in clumps when she brushed it from lack of care. All she did in her soulless room was smoke, sleep and think of regrets.

There was just no drive left in her. Her dreams were buried with the rest of them in that city under the sea--Rapture and its rotting ghosts haunted her even from the bottom of the toilet she was hunched over. 

And yet, Subject Delta was there. Watching over her, caring about her. How it irked her--the thought of him caring for her! It made her want to retch even more. How she hated him with every fibre of her being, and yet--

How she felt the opposite too.

When her body could let out no more hatred and violence, she recognised the force of his large hand against the small of her back. His fingers were splayed, and when she forced herself to look up at him, shame turning her face red but so cold, his concerned face was a soothing one.

Lamb would let him, she decided. She wanted continue rotting away, but he could motivate her. Eleanor didn’t bother with her anymore--but he was there.

The one feeling she had never understood properly, even in all her studies, compelled her to touch his free hand. His fingers reacted to hers and she, remarkably, accepted it. Strong and gripping, inspiration hitting her just in this gesture. How brittle her own felt against his, so different that it made her even give an awkward, disturbed smile. 

Something shifted between them, an evolution of their relationship that had never been possible before, and she very shallowly let out an almost inaudible sigh.

She would let him. It would take more time and patience than the both of them had surely known, but she would let him. She loved him.

[knowthebeast-blog]

theblessednavigator replied to your post:( omg honestly, just tear me apart with what u...

((ahhh yells i’m sorry! please don’t feel obliged to make it sad! it can be something with sofia having had enough of alex the great’s silliness and just going “bye lmao” because this giant fetus is just impossible and she’s not having his antics))

( I’m crYING I DIDN’T THINK OF THAT ayyyy bye lmao. omg no but I love making the sad don’t worry--I love le angst... )

[knowthebeast-blog]

( omg honestly, just tear me apart with what u guys are sending me. I’m crying already ) 

[knowthebeast-blog]

Another touch-meme

Touches are none verbal forms of communication. Send me a symbol to see how my muse would convey their feelings to you only through a touch. My muse will say no word and only try to express their feelings physically.

α: For my muse wanting to show that they love your muse

β: For my muse wanting to show that they hate your muse

δ: For my muse wanting to show that they need your muse

ε: For my muse trying to seduce your muse

ζ: For my muse trying to comfort your muse

θ: For my muse wanting to show that they are worried about your muse

λ: For my muse wanting your muse's attention

μ: For my muse wanting to ask for your muse's comfort

ξ: For my muse wanting to show that they are afraid of your muse

π: For my muse wanting to show that they are scared in general

ρ: For my muse wanting to hurt your muse

ς: For my muse wanting your muse to stop hurting them

ψ: For my muse wanting to welcome your muse back

ω: For my muse wanting to show your muse that they miss/missed them

φ: For my muse wanting to say goodbye to your muse

[knowthebeast-blog]

unity and metamorphosis more like unity and metaWHOREphosis ayyy

[knowthebeast-blog]

dioxmedeia:

knowthebeast

      “I am glad somebody decided to hire another        female doctor,” Theodora smiled. “I am Dr.         Anstruther, cardiac surgery.”

“Dr. Lamb,” said Sofia promptly, extending a long hand. “But, between women of science, you may call me Sofia. A privilege I’d rather not allow the men to have...” When she spoke, there was more jest in her tone than usual. It seemed she simply naturally lightened around intellectual women akin to herself. “Cardiac surgery? How specific and interesting. Is that something you had always pursued? Forgive me. The Medical Pavilion is yet to become well-known to me, despite my own profession as a psychiatrist...” 

[knowthebeast-blog]

"I could steer her in that direction, towards college," he offered, "She'll listen to me, and I don't think it'd take that much convincing." The Alpha offered her a gloved hand. "She does get all that from you, after all." //couldn't help myself and replying to asks sucks now, thanks to the update

If the days weren’t so long and hopeless now, she might have taken that hand as expected. But she couldn’t find the strength in her limbs to even do that, stretching her fingers out then recoiling immediately.

“Yes. I suppose,” Sofia said slowly. Words felt like effort to roll around her mouth as well. She drew her gaze up to the Alpha Series’ and grit her teeth lightly. “She’ll never listen to me again, and I do not blame her for it. But... You are here. And now I know you... will always be more of a parent to her than I was, even in the short span of time you spent with her. Even as a mons--even in your state... I’m sorry, Subject Delta.” 

[knowthebeast-blog]

( when u tear through threads after a 2 hour nap !!!!!!! )

[knowthebeast-blog]

mxdam:

          The quality of Margarethe’s smile changed a little. She distracted herself from it – from the fact that Sofia was right; it was too complicated a subject for her – by scrounging in her bag, finding her cigarette case. “I was going to order wine, but if you’re drinking anything, ah, hardier, I’d be happy to join you.” Flick-pop of the lighter. She took a pull from the now-lit cigarette, directed her smoke (with, she felt, undeserved politeness) away from Sofia.

Equally, the smile that went over Sofia’s expression now was one of falsehood too. How she had perfected manipulating her outer emotion through the years, her discipline forever unmatched by other psychiatrists she had come across--or even just the general scope of people themselves. “Wine will do fine. I’m not exactly one for consumption of such things... Lessens the mind and heightens a lack of inhibition, don’t you find?” She found some teasing enjoyment from using such flowery language, but paused. “What was it, before? The question of whether I intimidated men or not? You’re naturally attracted to the atmosphere of power, aren’t you, Margarethe? That is something I sensed almost immediately.” 

[knowthebeast-blog]

theblessednavigator:

For a few moments, Gil felt fine. Disappointed, sure, but otherwise fine. She was too busy to stay with him, which was understandable. She was the leader of the Family, after all, and a mother. Sweet Eleanor needed her as much as he did. So when she turned his offer down, he didn’t mind. Not until she elaborated on her reasons for declining.

As he listened to her talk about her flock, Gil felt his chest swell with anger. It settled in his gut like a heavy, hot stone, making his blood boil. How could she choose them over him? While they were doing what splicers did best, he was in so much pain that he almost couldn’t breathe. Now more than ever, he needed her to be there for him. To hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be all right. But she couldn’t. She was going to be with her worshippers. The dull, dead-eyed splicers that made up “her flock.” Just thinking about it made him want to retch.

“Don’t go…” Another tear slid down his cheek. Then another, and another… “You can’t do this to me. I am your Utopian…”

The raw show of emotion provoked little reaction from her outwardly. Oh, there was torment inside of her at seeing Gilbert Alexander cry--she’d witnessed countless broken men sobbing on the couch in her old office before all of this hell had been let loose, but he was not just some stranger, he was her dearest friend and colleague, now just as he said in his plead--her Utopian.

But Sofia knew of her need to separate duties, to dissolve emotional attachment when doing so. His tears wouldn’t sway her decision; no man would, although he had broken the exception a few times, including the close observation of him during all of the treatment...

“Gilbert... This is most unbecoming of you,” she said. It came out harsher than intended, chiding, like scolding a child even, and she knew it would offend him, but she had to rip herself away before he would become more of a wreck. “It will only be little more than a few hours, then I shall be here tomorrow. To oversee your progress throughout the entire recovery stage, I promise...”