countries saying my favorite overly sarcastic productions quotes (part 2) [the historical eras version]
Israel: It’s like… strip dying! Play it with your friends!
Roman Empire: No matter when you go to Rome is a great city to visit because you can see all four seasons- winter, spring, summer, fall- *sees Rome collapsing* oh no
The Vandals up north: The collapse of Roman civilization is brought to you by Audible
Philippines, learning math: *slams the book* TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD
America: THE HORROR! THE EXTREMELY MARKETABLE HORROR
America after a few days: I feel better now
Second German Empire: My husband told me not to read any of these, before he…
United Kingdom, looking at Austria-Hungary’s notes: Fantastic
Belgium, being treated by a probably undead doctor: This is fine
Second German Empire, looking at Russian Empire’s cracking face: He winds up looking so creepy that he gives Soviet Union a seizure just by looking at him. Basically, homeboy’s face is jacked.
Byzantine Empire, finally breaking: Turns out ‘dead all along’ is an older twist than it looks
Japan Empire, at the base of the stairs, leaking out disgusting atomic waste: I have some exposition for you…
Tokyo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
United Kingdom, recounting his life before he became independent from the Roman Empire: And then Roman Empire committed suicide and dies…
Egypt: …but not before expositing in the longest death monologue ever.
Persian Empire, to Athens: Where do you keep the EVIL books
Roman Empire, bringing out a page full of Latin incantations: I’m a man of conquering, but I know when I’m out of my element!
Sassanid Empire, holding out a bottle of Arcane potions: If only we had a way to test its potency beforehand!
Byzantine Empire, bringing out a shot gun: We don’t know it won’t work! Get off my back!
Heian Japan, carrying Korea bridal style: You’re not too invested in this marriage, right?
China (i don’t know which dynasty existed during Heian Japan’s time): I-
Macedonia: Now, back in the day, Troy was called Ilias, which is why the book is called The Iliad. Translated literally, it’d be called “Troy Story”.
Holy Roman Empire: Hi honey I’m home-
England: PROVE TO ME YOU’RE REALLY THE ROMAN EMPIRE
Roman Empire: Yeah, I died one time, no big
Prussia: I thought I died once
America: Whoa, Jamaica, the 70′s called. They wanted to know if they can have some of your stash.
Earth: Europe wants to show an OC she’s super proud of. You may have heard of the character. Does ‘France’ ring a bell? Yeah.
Belgium, talking about Cambodia: Jeez, France, sure you don’t have a kid you don’t know about?
France, tensely looking at China, who was glaring at him: HA YES! THAT’S UH, THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE. AND IS THEREFORE FUNNY!
Heian Japan: Maybe I should stop sleeping with another man’s wife…
Korea: Hey, how was your quest?
Heian Japan: What was I saying again?
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