Say what you will about yellowjackets but at least that show gave us a beautiful and very cool canon lesbian couple that got to be in love on screen and kissed multiple times.
I know that many members of the community are strongly against robotic affirmations. I used to be as well, because they genuinely felt repetitive, exhausting, and pointless to me. But as the illusion of time passed throughout my process, I realized that a romanticized, sentimental belief doesn’t make an affirmation more valid. While it may decorate it, it certainly doesn’t make it more useful—let alone more practical.
── .✦
I’m aware that the Law of Assumption can sound absurd when you first come across it, but it’s a reality that’s practically unquestionable. The entire world around you is your creation and no one else’s—you hold all the copyrights, and there’s no way anything external could be the cause. Ultimately, our existence can be reduced to a vast nothingness that serves as the origin of everything.
── .✦
Now, getting to the point I wanted to illustrate in this post: a constant affirmation that isn’t subjected to deep analytical scrutiny—one that doesn’t endlessly compare the external world with your inner one—ends up being the most effective when it comes to shifting or even manifestation.
── .✦
The reality surrounding you is made of exactly that: assumptions, repetitive affirmations that embedded themselves into your mind until they became an undeniable reality.
── .✦
Make no mistake—the tangible scenario in front of you is not the one in control. This isn’t a “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” dilemma. This is simply the structure of how things work: everything—absolutely everything—always happens first on the imaginary plane and only then translates into reality in a subtle, unconscious way.
I used to hold the toxic belief that the more I thought, the more intelligent, critical, and analytical I became. Thanks to spirituality, I realized that thoughts aren’t necessarily yours—and they’re rarely helpful, especially within processes we once labeled as unreal. Overthinking will never be pleasant or effective. You don’t need to dissect your affirmations by tying them to the supposed logic of this reality, to a feeling that validates them, or to a sensation that confirms you’re already in your desired reality.
── .✦
Don’t question your affirmations. Take them for granted the same way you take gravity for granted.
── .✦
And by conveniently misinterpreting 𝐑𝐞𝐧é 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐬 in our favor—“𝐉𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞, 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐜 𝐣𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐬” (“𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐚𝐦”)—we can arrive at several conclusions. But after a generous dose of mental masturbation and microwave philosophy, one thing remains clear: 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬. (I can hear the sighs of disappointment from philosophers after this vague and convenient analysis, but honestly, who cares?)
── .✦
Repetitive affirmations provide a foundation of security that, as the natural process demands, eventually becomes reality. Don't overthink it!
jackie comes up with a last minute holiday idea: one that involves the entire team (+ headcanons).
— including: jackie taylor. shauna shipman. lottie matthews. nat scatorccio. van palmer. taissa turner. mari ibarra. melissa hat. misty quigley.
— ✴︎ SMAU ✴︎ —
— ✴︎ HEADCANONS ✴︎ —
jackie taylor
jackie, who, since being the one who came up with the whole thing, obviously takes secret santa extremely seriously. you best believe that girl wants to win it…literally no one ever said it was a competition....as soon as she’s assigned your name, she is immediately texting shauna (so much for the rule about not telling anyone who you drew), asking for advice & reassurance.
jackie who spends days subtly interrogating you. literally everyone else (including you) can tell what’s going on when she suddenly starts asking for your top favorite colors or steering conversations toward your interests. “and what’s on your christmas wishlist this year?” she’ll ask in the changing room, holding you back from joining the others like this is a totally normal question to be asking before soccer practice.
jackie who spends sleepovers with shauna scrolling through your instagram, screenshotting your highlights & zooming into the background of your photos to analyze your room. “see? she definitely likes that,” she’ll say, pointing at some pixelated object shauna can barely make out.
after a truly unacceptable number of failed ideas (always either too cheap, or too tacky, or not good enough for you etc etc.) jackie finally settles for something that is both very her, but not so huge that it draws too much attention. then, she of course wraps it beautifully, with a curled ribbon & a tag with your name written in her very best handwriting 🙂↕️🙂↕️
shauna shipman
no-crash shauna, who, naturally, immediately overthinks it/puts pressure on herself to come up with something good that will compete with the gifts from the others. she obviously wants your present to be thoughtful but not overly intimate, sweet but not embarrassing, useful but still special, and so on and so on. shauna runs herself in circles over it, and before she knows it, she’s full on fucking spiraling about it.
unlike jackie, shauna observes a lot more discreetly. you will not know that she’s the one who drew your name until you receive your gift, because she is actually sneaky about it, paying attention to what you talk about, things you complain you’ve lost, what you wish you had but won’t buy for yourself etc. all from a distance.
shauna, who gathers way more information than necessary, learning ALL about you over the span of a couple of days and writing it down in her journal…
shauna, who puts effort into crafting a gift that is partly handmade/partly purchased!! i’m thinking perhaps she gets you a higher quality version of something she’s seen you use, then pairs it with a letter (also, the handwriting is what reveals her, in the end).
natalie scatorccio
nat, who pretends she doesn’t care about secret santa, but loses the idgaf war big time….she keeps a straight face when being assigned your name, shrugging in an attempt to fake disinterest, yet internally, nat is panicking. she thinks herself to be awful at gift giving, and obviously still wants you to like it anyway. nat plays it off well enough, though, and just from looking at her, you’d never guess what’s going on inside her head.
nat, who thinks it would seem weird if she were to suddenly approach you with a bunch of questions, so she, too, silently observes instead: she pays attention to the type of music you listen to, and what you wear, storing all those little things away. nat wages her option for a looong time, and even goes to the local mall, trying to find something nice for you to wear, but ends up feeling stupidly out of place among racks of clothes she would never wear herself. besides, one look at the price tags makes her heart drop, so she heads back home instead.
nat, whose gift ends up being perfect regardless: she gets you nail polish in your favorite color (and sneaks in her own favorite too, because she had a spare bottle and maybe hopes you’ll match one day) and burns you a cd with aaaall your favorite songs.
lottie matthews
lottie was prepared to be assigned anyone’s name, but is especially thrilled to end up with yours!! she sits with it for a good minute, stupidly smiling to herself, knowing she’ll get you something that’ll be absolutely PERFECT!!
lottie, too, spends plenty of time studying you. she’s a whole lot more subtle than the rest of them, and can afford to ask questions without drawing attention to herself, because she is properly sneaky about it and thinks them through to make sure you won’t suspect her!! lottie then listens attentively to whatever you might say, clinging to every scrap of information to come up with some nice presents that you’ll love.
courtesy of mr. matthews’ credit card (and her occasional shoplifting at tj maxx, i don’t know 😭) there technically isn’t a strict price limit for lottie, which is exactly why her gift ends up just a tiny little bit over budget they’d set, especially because she buys an extra box, matching wrapping paper and all, adding onto the total she spends on it.
melissa hat
melissa’s initial enthusiasm for secret santa backfires the moment she’s assigned you, of all people, meaning she now has to lock in & figure out a gift for someone she’s cared about in secret for a long time but realistically, knows very little about. melissa, whose first instinct is to ask gen, who obviously can’t help either, and just laughs at her instead. so, melissa has to gather information herself.
i’m thinkingggg melissa who not so subtly sits with you pre-practice (or orrrr jv!reader, who sits on the bench with her while varsity plays??), making awkward smalltalk. “so, uh, tough game, huh? anyway, i was thinking…” and then she hits you with a bunch of questions she hopes will lead her somewhere useful.
(for shits & giggles, mostly, but now i’m thinking reader who compliments melissa’s hat once + melissa who literally just gets you a hat because she thinks you’ll like it😭)
melissa, who drags gen to the mall with a MISSION. i’m sure i’ve mentioned this before, but after s3, i think it is fair to assume gift giving is one of her main love languages, hence why she is determined to get you something nice!!
taissa turner
tai who is confident that she will excel at secret santa, long before drawing your name. doing so only makes her want to do even better. as soon as she actually draws your name, taissa is mentally preparing her whole plan, from the gift itself to how she’ll wrap it, and so on.
taissa, who gathers her intel secondhand: she’s actually smart, and therefore, more efficient about it, asking other people, rather than you. she approaches van & shauna, and even ends up scrolling your social media accounts. when it comes to any first-hand observations, tai slows down around you that week, looking out for what makes you smile/what you talk about.
taissa, whose gift naturally ends up incredibly well chosen, which makes it pretty obvious that she must’ve been paying attention without you noticing. THINKING: tai who gets you something that’s been on your radar or maybe even your actual wishlist for soooo long, which you never quite got around to buying for yourself!!
van palmer
van lights up like a fucking golden retriever when she sees she got your name!! she gets so excited, she instantly has to inform tai, messaging her ‘GUESS WHO I GOT’ in all caps and stuff. she then spends the next hour or so lounging on her stomach in bed, brainstorming aaaaall potential ideas.
van, who’s close with everyone on the team, always keeping the group together, and so she already knows your interests and such. she recalls little things you’ve mentioned months ago, like your favorite movies (duh), or something you liked when you were younger.
van ends up getting you something vintage, probably, some insanely rare item related to your interests that makes you wonder how the fuck she even ended up getting her hands on that, adding a handwritten note filled with doodles and all, tucked into the bag she’ll hand over to you.
misty quigley
misty, who is over the moon when she draws your name. everyone can tell, just by looking at her, that she’s clearly excited about her giftee, clasping her hands together and gasping overdramatically. that girl will be creating a whole excel spreadsheet to make sure your gift is the best it can be.
misty watches you like a hawk all week, determined to ‘gather all the data,’ as she now likes to call it. she’s totally oblivious to how creepy it might be as she tracks your habits & preferences, even noting the brand of your favorite snack and whatnot. it’s obvious what she’s doing, but you let misty have her fun, indulging in the extremely direct questions she’ll ask.
misty’s present ends up accordingly. i’d even go so far as to say that, out of all the girls, hers will objectively be the best gift you could get!! obviously, they’re all thoughtful, and you’re thankful for each one, but hers is right on the money.
mari ibarra
mari, who complains before it’s even her turn to be assigned a name. she’s reluctant to join the exchange, not excited about the prospect of needing to spend her money on ‘some random girl on the team.’ and then, as already said in my mari headcanons, as soon as she gets you, her ass is suddenly all in!! mari still pretends it’s all such an inconvenience, obviously, so no one will get the wrong idea….
when it’s time to actually pick your gift, mari puts in way more effort than she’ll ever admit. and, speaking of things mari would never admit: she’s been keeping an eye on you, way before the whole secret santa exchange was even a thing, feeling drawn to you in a way she is NOT willing to unpack. the point is: mari has been noticing things about you, which comes in handy now that she has to get a present.
mari, who ends up choosing something that she wants you to actually use, thinking of her every time you pick it up, while still impressing everyone else who’ll be there to see you unbox it.
— a/n: first of all, i’ll probably go back and edit the layout of this whole post (specifically the headcanons) at some point, but i did not have the time for that today 😭 anyway, more importantly, that was the last of this year’s christmas fics!! i hope you enjoyed reading them as much as i loved writing them for you!! most of you will probably celebrate christmas tomorrow, not today, but happy holidays to those of you who celebrate! thank you for reading, and i’ll see you again next year with more christmas fics…maybe…? merry christmas!! <33
if i see another "omg older men!! >< awwieieie <333" im going to dig my nails into your skin and explain to you that older men don't date younger girls. they collect them. they see youth like some trophy glass that makes their own decay feel less visible. they'll speak softly, talk about how youre "mature for your age," and behind that compliment is rot. they're not admiring your mind; they're hunting your innocence.
you think they "understand you more than boys your age." of course they do. they've been watching girls your age for decades. they've studied your insecurities, learned how to weaponize kindness, how to drip-feed affection.
and by the time you realize what's happening, youll already be bending yourself into shapes to please a man who should've grown out of needing that kind of control years ago. they'll make you smaller so they can feel big again. and when they leave, you’ll see the burn marks where their validation used to sit.
don’t romanticize decay. don’t mistake his brokenness for depth. his ''gentle patience'' is not kindness, it's the slow tightening of a leash.
warning(s): comfort, fluff, lowercase intended, not proofread, reader is hypersensitive, reader is kinda bad at lying, abby's such a good comforter i need her to hug me
modern! au
"no, i need you to listen! we are not doing that, it's stupid"
it all had started with some dumb team discussion during some college project: some classmates getting irritated at each other for having different ideas, you trying to mediate telling them to calm down, reminding it's a group project for a reason, cue you getting shitted on by both your classmates not having it.
even though your chest hurted and your throat was feeling so tight, you slammed your back against the chair, eyes giving up and quietly glazing the room, hoping for the clock to move faster just so you could finally get out of that class, just so you plopped yourself on your soft bed to never talk to someone else again. your social battery was on its limits, and so was your big girl pretending she doesn't wanna cry facade.
just as they looked like they wanted to jump each other, the bell finally rang, a distant punch to all your senses while you could appreciate in the corner of your eye how everybody got up so excited to leave.
you didn't bother to greet them, taking your time as you stood up, a loud sigh leaving your bitten lips, your hands moving in automatic grabbing your things, tired legs dragging your body off the room.
just as you opened and drank the whole bottle of water, the hum of the car's motor told you abby was back, a short, almost relieved huff slipping past your mouth, closing the fridge and walking towards the living room as soon as you heard now how she twisted the key at the front door.
you stood there playing with your bottle, hoping she didn't notice your moody expression (spoiler: she always did. said it was too obvious to not notice). the door cracked open, heavy footsteps welcoming that familiar silhouette. so commanding it'd make you hot if you weren't already frustrated.
a pair of blue eyes found yours, the door now closed behind her. the muscle memory of her made abby faintly smile, eyes glinting with that subtle sparkle you made.
it didn't took so long for her smile to drop a bit, as she was now looking at you trying to not pout.
"hi babe.." you tried to sound your best, a hand waving softly at her
"did sum' happened, sweetheart?"
you tensed a bit, letting an awkward chuckle as you waved it off. "not too much. don't worry 'bout it, 'm happy to see you now" you replied as you got closer to help her take off her jacket. god, her body emanated her characteristic warmth you almost gave up.
"mm, don't do that. you got that sad little eyes. you think i don't know my girl?" there was a glint of light teasing in her tone, her muscles slightly relaxing when she saw a soft grin coming to your face.
you didn't say more words, didn't feel like to. you only got closer and wrapped your arms around her waist, hiding in her chest, inhaling her scent. she hummed calmly, big palms coming down to rest in the middle of your back while the other caressed the back of your head making your hair messy.
"it was just some stupid group project discussion..."
abby licked her lips, a thoughtful pause from her part before speaking
"got you frustated?" you nodded against her
"exhausted." another hum from the blonde, her fingers combing through your the roots of your hair as she left a kiss on the top of your head.
"my poor girl" she murmured against your side, hands sliding down your arms as she gently separated herself from you to interlace your hands.
"let's get you comfy, 'kay? you need some rest, i need some bed clothes. and i bet we both need a long cuddle session. c'mon, i'll get you your favorite socks, then we can watch some of your disney movies"