Kollin Holtz

Kollin Holtz is a San Francisco based writer & performer. Audience members have told him, "My Mom loved you!" So he can't say that he's not your Mama's comedian.

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Lance Bangs (Jackass, The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail & more) came to San Francisco and filmed an episode (or part of one) at Sylvan House. Currently thirteen of us reside here, and most of us performed! The show is called Flophouse, and it “...explores the underground circuit of young comedians living together in group houses, then throws a houseparty and standup comedy show.” You can see Moore Devine heavily featured in this trailer with their song, “I’m an Adult.”

The show will air on Vice’s new cable channel “Viceland” which will be taking over the channel currently occupied by H2 (History2). The Channel launches February 25th. If you find out when the show airs, you can probably catch all of us from the house at Milk Bar on 1840 Haight St in San Francisco waiting for our episode.

Come hang out!

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The Gail Force Of Love

This is a short documentary I made on how shitty unrequited love can be. The “twist” or hook I guess, is that it’s about the unrequited love a 60-year-old woman had for my 25-year-old roommate. I started it in 2012 for a class on documentary film making. It was 11pm, & the next day I was supposed to turn something in to propose as my final project. I wandered upstairs where my roommate, Misha, played his voice mail on speaker phone, and it started with “your voice mailbox is full...” followed by messages exclusively from this older woman on the San Francisco comedy scene everyone called Sweet Gail. Those two minutes I showed in class became the 22min. short it is today.

I did a re-edit in 2013, which was terrible. Then I felt motivated again & did a couple re-edits in 2014. I knew it didn’t have polish, but I wanted to try my luck submitting it to festivals. I got the final rejection letter in March of this year, and I’ve been to lazy to upload it until now. I know the longer I wait, the less I’ll want people to see it, because I’ve come so far from what interested me in my early 20′s to now. The longer I wait, I know I’ll only feel more silly for what I made when I was younger than what I would have made today.

I know a handful of my friends, peers and acquaintances have wanted to see this for a while, and everyone who has seen it has been very kind, so here it is.

The Gail Force Of Love:

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Myself & other comedians were in this Ben & Jerry’s commercial

Comedians Clay Newman, Justin Alan and myself got to play stoners in an internet / youtube commercial for Ben & Jerry’s new “Brrr-ito.” The commercial is supposed to be a spoof of the original 1980′s Apple computer tv spot. Check it out:

Here you can see us in a still:

Front Left is Clay. I’m seated directly behind him. In the back right corner, silhouetted w/ his head cocked is Justin Alan.

Better shot of Justin.

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Up Coming Shows

Sun., Jan. 4th - Give Me Fiction (Lost Weekend Video @8pm)

Mon., Jan. 5th - Gettin' Weird W/Stokes and Holtz (Milk Bar @8pm)

Wed., Jan. 7th - Safe Words (SF Eagle @8pm)

Fri., Jan. 9th - Cynic Cave (Lost Weekend Video)

Mon. Jan. 19th - Move Along Nothing To See Here (Nightlight, Oakland @8pm)

More to come. If you'd like to stay updated, I keep all my show dates on that google calendar to the left (position of calendar may change in the future).

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When stand up comedy meets a leather bar what's left is "Safe Words," bringing fifty shades of laughs from local & national comics every first Wednesday of the month.

This Month:

Super Secret Headliner (30 Rock, HBO, Comedy Central, last name rhymes with "ho")

Kurt Weitzmann (Comedy Central, HBO)

Kaseem Bentley (SF Weekly's "Comic to Watch," SF Sketchfest)

Samantha Gilweit (Comedy Gumbo)

Ben Kolina (The Night Light - Oakland)

Emily Van Dyke (Punchline, Cobb's)

Misha Trubs (Punchline, SF Sketchfest)

Facebook Event Link.

Do415 Event Link.

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Dan Dion snapped a photo of a few of us Sylvan boys at Comedy Day.

Back Row (left to right): Spencer DeVine, Andrew Holmgren, Brandon Stokes, Andrew Moore, Ash Clayton, Luke Lockfeld, and Kollin Holtz (me).

Front row: Keith D'Souza, David Gborie, Michael D'Bey, & Justin Gomes.

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Come to the first Fightin’ Words monthly showcase this Wednesday! It’ll be fun. Tales of LA & Humboldt will be appearing on the website soon!

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Very excited to be visiting LA tomorrow. Wed. is The Workout Room w/ Greg Edwards followed by The Karma Lounge w/ Shannon Mclendon. Sunday is The Chatterbox w/ Steve Hernandez! Unfortunately the Hotel Hollywood was canceled for Thursday. More to come! Sept. 2014!

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Top Tweets (Click HERE to follow Kollin on twitter):

- Not recommended: Jumping in a pile of leaves at the dog park.

- If I could have a super power, it would be to magically shoot the garbage people litter straight up their ass.

- The 1990's called. They asked what it's like to be poor, laughed, then hung up.

- If I had a kid who pretended to be hard saying things like, "you feel me blood?" It would be really hard to love them.

- I try not to get any big ideas, because I'm afraid of being crushed by a giant light bulb.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Very excited! Performed at the Noise Pop 20th St Block Party yesterday.

Aug. 28th-30th - See me in Humboldt at the Savage Henry Comedy Festival. I have shows all three days. You should click here to check their website for the schedule.

Sept. 2nd-9th - LA! I have a few shows, and a few places I'll be visiting. I will post those later!

Sept. 14th - I'll be performing in Golden Gate Park on the 35th Annual Comedy Day. Show starts at noon, and it's totally free. The full roster of comedians, sponsors etc., can be found on their website here.

Sept. 17th - Hosting for Scott Capurro at the S.F. Eagle. Time TBD.

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Gettin’ Weird hosts the Bay Area’s favorite comedians with an added twist every month. Sometimes it’s a performer, sometimes it’s something people have to do, but it’s always weird and always entertaining. Featuring Tony Sparks is "The Godfather" of the San Francisco comedy scene. He has hosted the longest running open mic in the Bay Area at the Brainwash Cafe every Thursday for the past fourteen years. Jules Posner is like if the cool older kid who used to buy you beer ended up becoming a comedian instead of a meth dealer. The most relaxed man in California, Jules mixes laid-back observations, riffing and flannel shirts into an act that has won him constant bookings at every major comedy club in the Bay Area. Named SF Weekly Best of Award Winner for “Racial Humor You Don’t Feel Guilty Laughing At” and one of the Bay Area’s “Top 5 Comedians to Watch” by the San Jose Mercury News, Kaseem Bentley is an African American insult comic from San Francisco. Chris Schiappacasse is definitively offensive, and at times insensitive. His brand of comedy can invite confrontation and challenge audiences to stretch their tolerance, which will be tested by a man who does not back down. Unapologetic and brazen, Chris is certainly bringing the weird this month.

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Are you brave enough to party on day one of the work week? If the answer's "I don't know" then come by Milk Bar on Monday, April 7th at 8pm for a FREE comedy show!

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Conspiracies to destroy the black community, child serial killers, f**k-with-ability and a whole lot more is made light of by Brandon Stokes and Kollin Holtz as they bring up their favorite local comedians (and a few surprise guests)!

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1/4. The Friend Zone @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9pm. Free. Featuring Ben Feldman, Jules Posner, Johan Miranda, Kollin Holtz, Kate Willett, Zorba Hughes and hosted by Natasha Muse. 

On Saturday, January 4th, come join us at Dirty Trix Saloon to get a head start on breaking your New Year’s resolutions. The comedy is free, and the booze is about as close as you can get to free without being at your company’s holiday party. But unlike that party, you don’t have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of people.

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Top posts of the month!