245 - Pretty Much Exactly Like Toto
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245 - Pretty Much Exactly Like Toto
245 - Pretty Much Exactly Like Toto
An Open Letter To Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio
Hi Johnny, champion of champions of The Challenge. You’ve been so successful on that show. Thirteen appearances, Seven finals, Six wins (maybe seven after Rivals 3). No one has done what you’ve done on that show. You’re seen as a favorite to win every season the moment you step into the house, by the audience as well as your fellow competitors.
People love seeing you on the show because you are so unstoppable. People want to see you win. The other side of that coin though, as I’m sure you’ve figured out, is some people hate seeing you. You’re so good that people want to see you lose. People want to see a new king crowned. You are, without a doubt, one of the most polarizing figures in the history of the show because you are so good. You are John Cena. You are the Los Angeles Lakers. You are Johnny Bananas.
Physically, you can hold your own. Mentally, too. Socially, no one can play it like you. This season, you got Devin and Cheyenne to bend over backwards for you and drop a previously established relationship by just sitting there.
Every Challenge is your’s to win. You know that. Production knows that. The viewers know that. So, I present you with a challenge, if you’ll pardon the pun. Since Bloodlines, we’ve discussed you on Did You Watch Survivor Last Night? and what you’ll do when you’ve had your fill of Challenges. That’s where your next challenge comes in. You’re obviously a competitor and you want to win a hard game. So, why not try out for Survivor. It is more or less the same game. Physical bouts, difficult puzzles, toeing the line between friendship and backstabbing. It seems like the next logical step. You continually outwit your competitors on The Challenge. You outplay them with ease and you’ve outlasted more than anyone.
Survivor, in recent years, has been bringing people in from other shows, such as The Amazing Race and Big Brother. Those shows are also similar to Survivor in that they are competitions. But, neither of those shows has as similar a format to Survivor as The Challenge does.
You are the prototypical Survivor competitor. Athletic, smart male in his mid-30s. Even if you had never done The Challenge, you’d still be an allstar on Survivor. Plus, Jeff Probst would absolutely love you.
The Challenge won’t be the same show without you, but you can do more. You also don’t need to stop doing The Challenge. Just take 39 days to win Survivor then go on to crush The Challenge some more.
#bananasonsurvivor
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The two-hour long Episode 12 of DYWSLN is up. We discuss Survivor and The Challenge!
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Here’s our podcast. It’s about Survivor.
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Check out this podcast we do about Survivor.
What Happened on this Reality Show Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity
I'm going to start writing more Upworthy style headlines from now on. MTV's Are You the One probably won't restore your faith in humanity, or love, or MTV. But, if you're already a fan of the types of shows that stick some number of attractive young people in a house and give them alcohol, why aren't you watch Are You The One??
Fear not, I am here to update you on what's happening, and has happened, before tonight's episode.
The first spark came between Chris T. and Shanley. The two went to the truth booth, but it was a no-go. If unfamiliar, the truth booth is somewhere on couple goes, as voted by the rest of the housemates, to see if they are a "perfect match." John, often referred to as JJ, and Simone seemed to hit it off, but JJ pulled away as Simone got closer. Those two also went to the truth booth. Again, it wasn't a match. JJ also hit it off with Jacy. Those two have not been sent to the truth booth yet. But, it seems like they'll be a match. Another probable match is Paige and Scali (First name: Chris). They spent the first few episodes trying to make each other jealous because apparently they don't realize the sooner the get together, the sooner the house wins $1M. (Oh! Also, if everyone finds their match by the end of the ten episodes, they win a million dollars!)
For a while, it seemed like Brittany and Adam would be a match, but Adam realized, while he had fun with Brittany, they weren't a match. Brittany was unconvinced. Eventually, via either truth booth or strong words, Brittany let Adam go, who found his way to Kayla, I think. It's hard to remember everyone's name if they're not a major part of every episode. I've said it before, and I'll say it again until MTV does it: Put the names of the cast member on screen whenever they're on screen, like The Real World is doing this season. They only have 11 people this season and realized that was a lot of people. It's very helpful to know everyone's name.
In the first episode Dillan was the last to pick his match at the "match ceremony," at the end of which they cast finds out how many matches were correct but not which ones. He picked reluctantly Coleysia. But, has since found his way back to her and it seems like the two will be a perfect match. Then again, Chris T. and Shanley seemed like a perfect match until they went into the truth booth, so who knows?
So far, no one who has gone to the truth booth has gone with their match, which creates an immense hopefulness in the viewer. "Maybe this time they'll get it right." They haven't yet. But, maybe tonight.
Are You The One? airs on MTV at 11/10c.
Let's talk about reality television, shall we?
I would not call myself a reality tv fan, but I have not sworn it off. There is good reality television. There is bad reality television, as is the case with any genre of any art form. (Is reality television art? Yep!) I like a lot of stuff from Miley Cyrus' album. The same goes for Selena Gomez's most recent release. I even liked "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber. But, I wouldn't say I LOVE pop music. The exact same goes for reality television. I'm a huge fan of Survivor, and will continue watching as long as the show casts engaging personalities. What makes Survivor a phenomenal television show is the relationships between the cast members. The "social game" always plays a big part in the final vote. How well did each person in the final three treat each of the jury members? And, does that outweigh their genius, but ruthless, gameplay? Sometimes it does, (see: Tyson) and sometimes it doesn't (see: Russell). Some reality television is simply people yelling at people. But, some is people creating and destroying relationships, and that is the best kind of reality television. The most recent season of Survivor pitted family members against each other. This season of The Real World has people living with their exes. And, MTV has just started a new show called "Are You The One?" and so far it's amazing.
Are You The One? puts 20 single people (10 men and 10 women) in a mansion in Hawaii. Each person has been secretly matched up with someone else in the house. The objective of the show is for each of them to discover their perfect match. Now, there are some very obvious problems with this concept. First, it appears everyone is straight. One man and one woman. I don't think it's a political statement. They probably just didn't think it through. It would make more sense if everyone was bisexual. Maybe it wouldn't make more sense, but it would certainly make things more challenging. Maybe someone (or two) will reveal themselves as bi or gay later in the season, but so far, that doesn't seem like a possibility. The second problem, and less serious because this is only a television show is, what happens when the show ends? People from these types of shows have said it's hard to keep up a fake personality for the entire length of the show. And, that may be the case, but I wouldn't be surprised if everyone was exaggerating their personality for the cameras. Maybe not. Hopefully not.
The Real World: Ex-plosion is three episodes in. So far, it's like every other season of the show. Seven strangers living in a house, getting drunk, getting in fights and hooking up. It's been great. But, in the next episode, the cast's exes move in. It's going to be amazing. This season is all kinds of reinvigorated. The old logo is gone. The cut between scenes quickly and have title cards in bright colors transitioning between scenes that say things like "that night." The opening monologue is gone. And, the producers and crew are not even trying to hide themselves. It's refreshing. It's fun. I love it. One more subtle change is the fact that, almost anytime someone appears in a scene, their name appears on screen. This is usually reserved for guests. But, this season, even the regular cast members get that treatment. It's actually very helpful in learning each person's name.
I bring up the name card thing because Are You The One? has not been doing that, and it (currently) has three times as many cast members. The only names I know are those of the people who played a major role in the first episode. Granted, The Real World has had three times as many episodes so far this season, but when the host of Are You The One? called for Paige near the end of the episode, I said "Who?"
Are You The One? has a lot of promise as a show, but it's still in that cheesy first season rut. There is some cool stuff, like the truth booth, in which one couple enters to see if they are correct in their assumptions in each other. But, there is some lame stuff too. At the end of each episode, everyone gathers, and they all pick someone else. Once everyone is picked, they are told how many couples are "correct" in thinking their a match. It's a cool concept, but each couple has to place their hand on a tablet to "lock in," a phrase used in shows like 1 vs 100 and Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?. Once every couple has "locked-in" the host leans over said tablet and places both hands on the tablet, to verify it or something. It looks really dumb. It looks like something that would happen on a cancelled reality show. Other than that, it looks like a show that could be successful. Assuming it is, I'm excited to see what happens with the second season, if they go to a different location, if they bring in gay people, if they have blind people, I don't know. This does seem like the perfect place to cast a trans person. I know there was a transexual person on The Real World, and subsequently, The Challenge, a few years ago, as well as at least one person on Catfish (Wait, is MTV leading the way on putting trans people on tv?), but I think it'd add an unexpected level of drama to the show. Again, we're only one episode into this series, so it could still happen.
Ultimately, reality television, along with any other art form, is most successful when it is ambitious and plays with people's relationships. As long as this trend of putting people in awkward familial situations continues, I will continue to watch reality television.
And, To MTV: If you're ever looking for a producer for any of you're tv shows, the ask box is open.
Top 20 Albums of 2013
As I'm writing this, 2014 is only 11 hours away! So, unless Beyoncé releases another surprise album within that time, here are my top 20 albums of the past 365 days.
20. Wolf – Tyler, The Creator
19. Kiss Land – The Weeknd
18. Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action – Franz Ferdinand
17. Pure Heroine – Lorde
16. Because the Internet - Childish Gambino
15. AM - Arctic Monkeys
14. Mosquito - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
13. The Worse Things Get The Harder I Fight The Harder I Fight The More I Love You - Neko Case
12. The Next Day - David Bowie
11. Reflektor - Arcade Fire
10. Doris - Earl Sweatshirt
9. The Terror - The Flaming Lips
8. ...Like Clockwork - Queens of the Stone Age
7. The Bones of What You Believe - CHVRCHES
6. Beyoncé - Beyoncé
5. Yeezus - Kanye West
4. Random Access Memories - Daft Punk
3. Electric Lady - Janelle Monae
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2. LONG.LIVE.A$AP - A$AP Rocky
1. Old - Danny Brown
Have a happy new year and a great new year's eve!
Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):
Stars Dance - Selena Gomez
Trouble Will Find Me - The National
Pedestrian Verse - Frightened Rabbit
Free the Universe - Major Lazer
(like, half of) Bangerz - Miley Cyrus
Top 20 Movies of 2013 I Didn't See
Are you tired of year-end lists yet? I'm not! Here are 20 movies I didn't see this year.
20. Star Trek Into Darkness
19. Monsters University
18. The Heat
17. Evil Dead
16. Frozen
15. Mud
14. The Kings of Summer
13. Hell Baby
12. Before Midnight
11. John Dies at the End
10. Blue is the Warmest Color
9. The Wolf of Wall Street
8. Escape from Tomorrow
7. Anchorman 2
6. Frances Ha
5. The Way Way Back
4. Nebraska
3. Fruitvale Station
2. Inside Llewyn Davis
1. Gravity
2013 was a great year for Matthew McConaughey and Sandra Bullock.
Top 6 Movies of 2013
Ok, straight up, I did not see many movies this year, and that is a shame. There are many movies I want to see from this year, that I'll probably watch next year, or the next, or never. So, here is an incomplete list the best movies of the year.
6. Iron Man 3
Hey! This was pretty good. Not quite as good as Iron Man or The Avengers, but I still had a good time watching it!
5. Drinking Buddies
Do you like drinking? More specifically, do you like drinking craft brews? Do you also like movies about heartbreak and friendship? This movie is for you!
4. The To Do List
Everyone in this movie killed it.
3. This is the End
What was assumed to be just the cast of Pineapple express hanging out turned out to be a very heartfelt movie.
2. The World's End
I considered putting this at #1. It is good. It is very good. It's a great finale for the Cornetto trilogy. Like many other movies on this list, it seems like it will be one thing, then reveals itself as something entirely different. Good job, everyone involved in this movie.
1. Spring Breakers
I liked everything about this movie. The sound track, the acting, the editing, the direction, even the promotion. As soon as the movie was announced, I thought "I see what he's doing." Casting teen-centric actresses in a movie about partying seems like more sugar for the bubblegum pop fans. But, when that movie turns out to very dark and sad, the casting is genius. Everything was so well done. It didn't get the attention it deserved because, it seems like, people went into it ready to laugh at how silly it was. And, it was very silly; James Franco's grill, the sweatpants and ski masks, the opening credits scene. The movie presents itself as a joke, and quietly becomes this incredible story about a good time gone too far without you realizing it. It could be seen as a metaphor, but that's not what the movie was about. The movie called itself shallow, and it seemed shallow, but there were actual human connections made throughout the movie. It is, and I suppose this could be considered a fault, though it shouldn't be, a movie you have to be 100% on board with. With every new development, the viewer has to say "Ok! What's next!" and mean it. If, at any point, the viewer decides it's too fantastical or too silly, they are out of the movie and missing the fun. I considered putting this at #2 and The World's End at #1, but there is nothing like Spring Breakers. It stand alone with it's loudness.
That's it! That's all the movies from 2013 I've seen! I also watched Rope and Psycho this year. They are both very good. I suggest you watch them if you haven't.
Top 13 Artists of 2013
13. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are somehow still killing it. Even their backlash isn't taken that seriously.
12. Justin Timberlake
He released two (or one, two-part) pretty good album(s) and saved Jay-Z's Monty Python Holy Grail from being entirely terrible. Plus, that *nsync reunion at the VMAs was fun.
11. CHVRCHES
Recover EP was great. The Bones of What You Believe was better. Plus, Lauren Mayberry's a cutie, but that has nothing to do with the band's music.
10. Childish Gambino
He successfully confused everyone with "Roscoe's Wetsuit," released his best album to date, as well as a companion screenplay and a short film.
9. David Bowie
In 2013, Bowie released not just his first album in 10 years, surprising everyone, but also what was, arguably, his best album in 30.
8. Daft Punk
Daft Punk, also, released their first album in a long time (eight years), and had one of the biggest songs of the year with Get Lucky.
7. Pharell
Pharrell was on two of the biggest songs of the year and released a 24-hour music video.
6. Kanye West
Between Yeezus, the Zane Lowe interview about Yeeus and the Jimmy Kimmel interview about the Zane Lowe interview, Kanye was unavoidable in 2013.
5. Miley Cyrus
So, Bangerz wasn't great. But, there were some very good songs. We Can't Stop and Wrecking Ball were both kind of a big deal and her performance at the VMAs shocked moms across the country. Plus, 23.
4. Lorde
'Royals' was somehow the #1 song for 18 years in one year and Pure Heroine did not disappoint.
3. Kendrick Lamar
Find a song this year that didn't feature Kendrick.
2. Chance the Rapper
Acid Rap is universally considered the best mixtape of the year. If it weren't for Beyoncé, 2013 would have been Chance's.
1. Beyoncé
Surprise album? Great. Great surprise album? Great. Great surprise album complete with videos? Great. Super Bowl performance? Great. Great Super Bowl performance complete with Destiny's Child reunion? Great!
2013 belonged to Beyonce and she was only doing stuff for, maybe, a month of it.
36 Songs from 2013
Year end lists are fun, but there's just so much structure. Why not just make a random list of a random number of songs with no real order? That's what I did. Here are 36 songs I feel like I've been listening to a lot in 2013. These aren't necessarily the best songs from this year, or even my favorites. I'm sure I missed a lot of stuff, and there may be stuff that doesn't deserve to be on a "best-of" list, but this was quickly compiled, so forgive me if your favorite song from this year isn't on this list. I'm sure it's good. Let me know what I missed (or what I should listen to again. I don't have any YYYs on this list.)
Tennis Courts - Lorde
We Can't Stop - Miley Cyrus
Worldstar - Childish Gambino
Bubble Butt - Major Lazer
Jessica - Major Lazer
The Party - Childish Gambino
Fuckin Problems - A$AP Rocky*
Ribs - Lorde
The Mother We Share - CHVRCHES
400 Lux - Lorde
Work - Iggy Azalea
Recover - CHVRCHES
Hold My Liquor - Kanye West
Bound 2 - Kanye West
Birthday - Selena Gomez
Come and Get It - Selena Gomez
Slow Down - Selena Gomez
Pretty Hurts - Beyonce**
Mirrors - Justin Timberlake
Touch - Daft Punk
Haunted - Beyonce
Belong To The World - The Weeknd
Blow - Beyonce
Lose Yourself To Dance - Daft Punk
Get Lucky - Daft Punk
Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus
Doin it Right - Daft Punk
Turquoise - Kilo Kish
Power Trip - J Cole ft. Miguel
Pusha Man/Paranoia - Chance the Rapper
Cocoa Butter Kisses - Chance the Rapper
Interlude (That's Love) - Chance the Rapper
The Stars (Are Out Tonight) - David Bowie
You Feel So Lonely You Could Die - David Bowie
Bed Peace - Jhene Aiko
Yaphet Kotto - Childish Gambino
*I think this technically came out in 2012, but whatever
**Great song, Greater video
The nearly complete podcast is here on spotify.
I realize it's been almost eight months since a new post. (oof.)
Good news! I've started listening to albums for the Top 20 End of the Year list. Do you know how much good music came out this year? So much! I promise I'll post my list of the Top 20 albums on December 31 of this year.
I'll also promise, though this is less certain, to post on this blog more.
New Yeah Yeah Yeahs video is very cool.
I'm not the biggest Lily Cole fan. I'm also not really a fan of any model, because I think to be a fan of something or someone, that something or someone has to be doing something or someone. Models tend to not do anything other than look nice for the camera. I suppose that requires some sort of talent, but it's also a fairly one-dimensional (or, more literally, two-dimensional) job. I'm a fan of Dan Harmon because I like what he's worked on (Community, Heat Vision & Jack, Channel101, Monster House wasn't terrible). His repertoire is more well-rounded. I like Karen O because of what she's done (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Where The Wild Things Are). She and Dan Harmon and Justin Timberlake and Salvador Dali and Ben Affleck make art. I'm a fan of sports teams and sports athletes because sports encourage community and competition, and over all, fun. Obviously, modeling is not a sport (right? maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure modeling isn't a sport). But is it art? Models are in the public eye. They are celebrities. They are in show business. For all those reasons, models are like writers and directors and actors and singers. But is modeling art?
All that to say, Lily Cole does a good job in this video. This video also does a good job in this video. The out-of-chronological-order way of telling a story is done often and is often unnecessary. Early on in the video, it seemed to be going that way. But, by the end, the reason for the style of editing became obvious. The story wouldn't have been nearly as interesting if it were told in chronological order.
Also, this song is good. I don't know why people aren't constantly talking about how good Yeah Yeah Yeahs are. Fever to Tell was great. Show Your Bones was great. It's Blitz! was great! And if Sacrilege is any indication, Mosquito will also be great!