My Wonderwall

"This is MY life. MY game. MY rules. If you want to be a part of it, you WILL respect that." - MegaTokyo (#584 "My Game")

[kooyeahron]

"Youth want to be STIMULATED rather than taught." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

[kooyeahron]

I can't lie. This is why I don't play poker or talk to pregnant women.

Nick Miller, "New Girl"

[kooyeahron]

Still Alive at 35

This past year has been a blur. At some point it became difficult just to figure out where I was with all the travel & everything else. Even at home, it was difficult at times to regain my bearings before the next trip, the next To-Do List or the next crossroad popped up. I've had some challenges & the worst is when I took out my frustrations on the people I care about. It's never been easy for me to admit when I'm wrong or when I'm struggling, but I gladly admit that I am blessed. Words fail to express my appreciation for all the birthday greetings, friendships, support & love. If it's true that "you are who you hang out with", then I must be pretty awesome. 😁 God bless.

[kooyeahron]

A man wants to be a woman’s first love. A woman wants to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

[kooyeahron]

My dad sent this last night and I didn't know how to respond. "You're right, you pushed me to my limits enough that at one point, I told myself I wouldn't even speak at your funeral if you died"? Hate is such a strong word that I doubt I really thought that about my dad. Can't say he didn't do his job as a father because I really disliked him growing up. The subject of some of my more... acerbic blog and journal entries was the person who was supposed to teach me how to be a man. What does that say when it's the same guy I got into my last fist fight with? Does that make him a bad father? Does it make me a bad son? You can probably make a case for both. I'd be lying if I said I stopped loving him at any point in my life, he's still family afterall. Do we get along better these days? Sure. I understand him better now and he's mellowed down a bit, and I'll always appreciate what I learned from him despite how much I might've disagreed with his methods. Ultimately, nothing can change the fact that he is my father; for better or worse. I still don't know how to respond to this though.

[kooyeahron]

Ni regrette du passé ni perdu de l'avenir.

(Neither regret the past nor fear the future)

[kooyeahron]

Eli actually asked coach last weekend if he thought Eli could beat me one-on-one. Right now, yes, and I agree. "What about in his prime?" Coach scoffed. I agreed. When we first started these tournaments, I was at 11% body fat. By the time I retired, I was at 9%. I averaged enough assists to match Eli's career high in scoring. I used to fixate on rival players for motivation. Now I'm starting to fixate on a teammate. Careful, playah, or I might get serious about this. That's not to say I'm not giving 100% now but I know I can kick it up a notch if I want it bad enough. That wouldn't be beneficial when you look at the big picture because it wouldn't be beneficial to the younger players if we start grabbing more of their playing time. Stop talking shit & just play.

[kooyeahron]

The last 2 weeks have been quite a trip, complete opposites from 1 week to the next. The things that have been bothering me the last few months haunted me shortly after the camping trip concluded, culminating in an attack that was uncalled for. I hurt people I cared about and respected, and it was a stark contrast to what I stood for and what I've built these last 15 years. After something like that, I pretty much just tuned everything out. I was sick of dealing with all of it but mostly, I was kinda sick of myself. So I spent the next few days retracing everything, trying to figure out where it went wrong. Up until my eventual meeting with my mentor, I never thought I was wrong. But I realized that I hurt a lot of people, most of whom were concerned that I was ultimately hurting myself. After a long talk of nearly 4 hours, I finally got everything off my chest and found the clarity that's been lost in all the responsibilities I had to fulfill and the ambitions I was trying to realize. Since then I've taken the long road to redemption. First came apologies, then reconnecting with the part of myself that's been slowly eroding these last few years. I reached out to rebuild the bridges that, though not burned, have been neglected for some time. When it's all said and done, ultimately no one can save you until you're ready to be saved. And no one can forgive you until you're willing to forgive yourself. I don't need to worry about how I'm perceived or how I'll be remembered, everyone already knows. I just needed to remind myself who I am: I'm the best at what I do.

[purplebuddhaproject]

[linhwin-deactivated20140827]

You were worth it

[nic0ledgaf]

Could’ve sworn kooyeahron told me something like this before…

[kooyeahron]

nicolewet: I usually say, "Everyone has the capacity to betray you" since humans are inherently selfish. But this is pretty much the same thing; people we love and love us has that capacity, we all do. Carrying that baggage and how we move on is up to us. The first person we have to forgive is ourselves.

[kooyeahron]

Told my brother that if I were to get a kit, I'd want it to look like Qui Gon Jinn's lightsaber. Yeah, he's pretty awesome. Haha! That reminds me, I still need to get a custom lightsaber before the Holidays, since my budget for that quarter always go to CI and Christmas presents. I guess Len & Ian have joined Regi in their "arms race", acquiring more than one. I can't fall behind, hehe. Sigh, boys and their toys... 😏

[notyourspecies]

Sexism on tumblr. I know your hearts are in the right place but still, this is bad.

[folie-a-dookie]

this is powerful

[frxppy]

it’s because it’s the absolute other way around anywhere else. stop.

[stellavee-deactivated20211009]

No, this needs to be seen. It’s not okay to demean another sex to defend your own. If you wanted to be treated as equal, then you treat others as equals as well. You can’t fight sexism by being sexist. You can’t fight hate by hating. It’s that simple.

[kooyeahron]

I'm not a big fan of Batgirl but I've been reading it because I'm a fan of comic writer Gail Simone. She adds depth to characters by introducing traumatic backstories, & she shines when she writes about how they move forward. She's gone (again), DC apparently wanted to take a fresher, more lighthearted & "hip" approach to the character. Which is ironic because they've spent a significant amount of resources on turning the Superman franchise "dark", & now they wanna go "light" with Batgirl? It looks like DC thinks that comic nerds should still get in touch with their feelings but they're sick of hearing about women's. 😒

[kooyeahron]

Outbreak Company This seems like your typical "harem" styled anime from the outset, which is a sub-genre I consider a guilty pleasure, but the political undertones really set it apart. This reminds me of how anime was banned in the Philippines in the late 70's, near the end of President Marcos' reign. Initially, I thought it was a really douchey move by the former tyrant. But after watching this and the theme of cultural invasion played out, I suppose I shouldn't be quick to judge Marcos' policy. I still think he was a huge douche near the end, but this anime highlighted how even altruistic individuals can be manipulated in politics. This anime had its fair share of comedy and romantic intrigue, typical of the harem animes. My brother highly recommended it and so do I.

[kooyeahron]

"Borg" has always been our nickname for the Collective, from the "Borg Collective" in Star Trek. It's not as catchy as the "Susej Collective" (which of course had no female members, so it was a 2-year sausage fiesta - spelled "Susej" because that's "Jesus" spelled backwards), but when @aireneiscool wanted a nickname of our own, "Borgzilla" was the first thing that popped into my head. Each Collective has had its own big ideas but this group has been the most consistent in going after them. A lot of it happens in the background but the name "Borgzilla" sticks because "going big" is not our goal, it's our WAY OF LIFE. 😏

[kooyeahron]

I get it; You got me.

I've been asking myself why you wanted to pick a fight with me. You weren't wrong in pointing out my flaw, but since you have the exact same one, you'd rather point mine out first so you can look down on me & feel better about yourself. Fine, you got me. I'm not gonna call your hypocracy because clearly, you need the ego boost more than I do. At this point in your life, you've still yet to amount to much so you're depressed. And taking it out on me. So there's your win for the day. But when it's all said and done and we go our separate ways, you'd lose your crutch and I'll be fine. Flaws and all.

[kooyeahron]

"Arakawa Under The Bridge" (Might as well write about it since I'm up) Directed by one of my current favorite anime directors, Akiyuki Shinbo of studio Shaft (Monogatari series), AUB is a story about Ichinomiya Kou, a rich young executive, his girlfriend Nino and the community of weirdos living under a bridge on the Arakawa riverbank. Kou doesn't like "owing" anybody anything due to his strict father's upbringing so when he was saved from the river by a mysterious blonde named Nino, he felt obliged to repay her despite her initial protests. So much so that he ended up moving under the bridge after she had asked him: "I want to experience love." That's how they became lovers. Turns out she was living with people who are even weirder than her. As the story progresses, we get to see a bit of background on some characters. Kou and Nino develop genuine feelings for each other and the uptight young exec finds friendship through one misadventure after another. Shinbo's trademark style is all over this, and the story suited him well: random, hilarious & metra sometimes, poignant and wistful in others. I liked how the protagonist is not your typical male anime hero: he's actually overconfident most of the time and he is, by his own admission, "a winner in life". How he is transformed by the relationships he developed with this strange community and how he moves forward by the end left me satisfied. His misadventures don't transform who he is, but he finds acceptance in the most unlikely place.

[kooyeahron]

It's been a while since I trolled Tumblr after 2am... I see you, hehe. 😁 (Screencap from "Arakawa Under The Bridge")