Siege Rhino

He/they | Orthodox Jew | Generalist nerd | The mere approach of an Abzan war beast is enough to send enemies fleeing in panic.

[cosmosredshift7]

[kosher-toasty]

sometimes I wish I wasn't Jewish.

not all the time, mind you. I love going to shul and seeing my friends. I love my rabbinic program. I love the community, that everyone is a distant cousin I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet.

but sometimes you get into one of those moods. you've been scrolling on the internet for a little too long. and I wish, in those moments, that I wasn't Jewish. that all I had to do to make me feel like a good person is post a flag every once in a while. to make the odd "damn, harming Jews isn't OK!" post - at least, until we find out what the Jew did that brought the harm upon them. and then I would get to forget about it, to scroll to the next celebrity worship post, to donate to a political campaign for someone who I can think with reasonable certainty has at least my best interests at heart. to feel like I don't need to grovel and posture and say all the correct zeitgeist words to get a crumb of begrudging approval from the rest of the world.

I dunno how to end this. this was a vent post. feel free to vent in the notes.

[kosher-toasty]

The year is 1998. I am on line to buy Star Fox and Ocarina of Time for the current Nintendo system.

The year is 2011. I am on line to buy Star Fox and Ocarina of Time for the current Nintendo system.

The year is 2026. I am on line to buy Star Fox and Ocarina of Time for the current Nintendo system.

[asamatterofcourse]

i wish tumblr had community notes. id add one that said "this user is a turk pretending to be an antizionist jew."

[kosher-toasty]

[mevil]

[kosher-toasty]

compilation of my favorite replies and reblogs

[kosher-toasty]

Washington DC least serious city of all time. What do you MEAN you have a neighborhood called Foggy Bottom. "Yes hi I live in the capital of the United States and my address is Cloud Buttcheeks" get outta here with that shit.

[prismatic-bell]

If you think that's bad, you should see Pennsylvania.

We have a pair of towns called Intercourse and Climax.

[prismatic-bell]

Oh, and I forgot.

New York City has DUMBO.

[kosher-toasty]

You know what? Fair and true.

Fun fact! It's an acronym for Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass. It's also pretty nice if you can tune out the D and Q trains chugging along overhead every 20 minutes or so

[kosher-toasty]

Washington DC least serious city of all time. What do you MEAN you have a neighborhood called Foggy Bottom. "Yes hi I live in the capital of the United States and my address is Cloud Buttcheeks" get outta here with that shit.

[prismatic-bell]

If you think that's bad, you should see Pennsylvania.

We have a pair of towns called Intercourse and Climax.

[kosher-toasty]

To be frank, my actual favorite place in Pennsylvania is King of Prussia because, like, come on

[kosher-toasty]

Washington DC least serious city of all time. What do you MEAN you have a neighborhood called Foggy Bottom. "Yes hi I live in the capital of the United States and my address is Cloud Buttcheeks" get outta here with that shit.

[hthrrloooo]

Catastrophize Benedictine

[kosher-toasty]

Coming up around the corner, it's...

Fear of Abandonment Sushi!

[moved-to-orpheyon-deactivated20]

Combine your chinese zodiac and astrology sign to make your true fursona

[eternally-a-dreamer]

i still hate this post so much. i’m an ox and a taurus. i’m a bull bull. i’m so fucking annoyed oh m y go d

[daftpatience]

noticed the two types of people in the tags

[kosher-toasty]

Rat Lion babyyyyyyy

Though if we're also going by the Jewish month zodiac then I'm on the cusp between the Rat Lion and the Virgin Rat. Both of which are highly funny to me. Canonically unfucked rat

[goth-queen]

[kosher-toasty]

Abby Sciuto-core

[official-cisphobe]

here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

[nevergonnagiveyaup]

I am now the deity of Height.

I find this funny because I’m only 5 foot

@miapanktrot @notkiramoon505 @sage0clock @p3skybirdd @nerd-alerts @beanzdabean @itsbeeugaymers @ur-bestie57 @multishipper33 @onceuponastori @aussiebeth @noticethelotus

This is a tag game now

[multishipper33]

I am the Deity of Second. all bow down to your magnetic majesty, for I specialize in the silver of a consolation prize and a pocket watch.

@deltenner @genderless-spiderlily @callofwinter @strawbxrrypies @peskybirdonyx @aries0nmars + open

[strawbxrrypies]

I am the Deity of Opposition. I like this one. hehe.

@myphycopharmacologist @peskybirdonyx @miapanktrot @djyapyap33 @rzkx @ranchersghost @reguiarsalad +open tags

[myphycopharmacologist]

I am the Deity of Review!! Accurate, I do love opinions and sharing mine

@randylastname @glassesghosties @ink-stained-ambition @raven-cyclist @imactuallyspiderman42 + open <3

[randylastname]

deity of restoration, im gonna fix the worldddd >:D

@apollosbookshelf @starry-eyed-stag @unassumingcavegoblin @ineffable-soandso @mossyboy98 @gemwesper + open!

[unassumingcavegoblin]

deity of ice… so either i’ll never be cold again or i’ll always be cold forever

[kosher-toasty]

I am the Deity of Hair.

@knight-of-skyloft @greatsageequaltoheaven @gatorgirldick @logic-sandwich @loki-god-of-mischief-13 @chewbaccaaah @keeper-of-the-flames + open

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[kosher-toasty]

When I meet people with older dogs (like, 9+ years old), I always ask if their dog can get them on the pension. Gets a laugh every time. Without fail.

[knight-of-skyloft]

Today in working with two year olds! Please picture both of us talking in the most conversational, matter-of-fact tones you can imagine.

Kid: "I farted from my butt."

Me: "Well, that's where you want your farts to come from. Imagine a fart from your eye, that would be pretty bad."

Kid, nodding with approval: "That's funny. That's pretty funny, Morah [Aly]."

Me, internally: This is perhaps the worst indictment of my sense of humor I've ever received.

Me, out loud: "Thanks, man. That means a lot."

[kosher-toasty]

you and the two year old in conversation

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[chaifootsteps]

#Please little bird

[meriwetherwrites]

I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.

[nightguardmod]

It’s a win win. I get a bit of hope, you get a cute birb photo

[the-haiku-bot]

It’s a win win. I

get a bit of hope, you get

a cute birb photo

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[dragongirlsweetie]

ok i am curious. how long is the longest song in your library (not counting tracks that are like several songs in one file like a full album mix or symphony recording or whatever) (also if it is longer than 20 minutes say the name in the tags i am curious)

how long

< 3:00

3:00–3:59

4:00–4:59

5:00–5:59

6:00–6:59

7:00–7:59

8:00–11:59

12:00–15:59

16:00–20:59

21:00–24:59

25:00–30:00

≥ 30:00

Voting ended onJun 1

[dragongirlsweetie]

ok i would like to clarify it has to be music and it can't just be a short song that's been looped a bunch. that still counts as several songs in one file, it's just several of the same song in one file. no audiobooks no podcasts no plants vs zombies theme 2 hour loop

[kosher-toasty]

Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells at 49:18, followed by Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick at 43:46

[unchaineddaisychain]

Music Asks

A song that altered your brain chemistry

A song that makes your soul ascend

A covered song that was better than the original

A song that summarizes you as a person

A song that has been a favorite recent discovery

A song you didn't immediately like at first

A song that puts you into a creative mood

Favorite song to workout to (or that you could imagine yourself working out to if you are a conscientious objector)

Favorite songs for a nighttime drive

Favorite song(s) to play air guitar to

Favorite song(s) to play air drums to

Rotation of four desert island songs

Song(s) you wish you could hear for the first time again

A song you have to be in a certain mood to listen to

A song you are obligated to rewind if you did not fully appreciate it the first time

A song you wish you could tell your younger self about

Favorite song from a genre you don’t usually enjoy

Short song(s) you wish were longer

Song(s) you wish you could hear again for the first time

Song(s) that must be fully appreciated with headphones in

Favorite song from the year you were born

A song that, in your opinion, encapsulates a certain decade

A song you wish you could hear live

The song that introduced you to a new artist

Another favorite by an artist considered a one-hit wonder

A song you want to sue for emotional damages

A song you never skip when it plays on shuffle

A song that you made your entire personality for a bit

A song so deeply personal you rarely let it see the light of day

Song(s) that sound ahead of their time

Song(s) that you were obsessed with for a time but haven't listened to in a while

Song(s) that would be required listening for your children

A song you think would kill a Victorian child

Four songs that would be featured on the soundtrack of a movie you directed

The first song you'd share with the aliens

The final song you'd play while the world ends

If your health bar were blinking, this song would revive you

If you were a siren it would be this song you sing to lure sailors to their death

"You'll know I've been cloned if I ever forget the lyrics to this song"

You're making a Song Soup and must acquire one of the following ingredients from 4 different songs: best vocals, best guitar, best drums, and best bass.