Heart Under My Sleeve
It was 12:24 p.m.
"Are you not going for lunch?" he tapped your shoulder lightly.
"Hmm I think I'll pass. Maybe after the meeting."
"You have to eat tho."
You shook your head and smiled, hoping he caught the signal.
The deadline had been haunting you since this morning. It took over the nerve that is supposed to tell you when you are hungry. It's nothing new how work sabotages hunger, thirst, and whatever impulse you actually should feel. And in such pressure, lunch time was over sooner than how it felt. But someone knew something.
"I saw this on my way back," as he handed your favorite lunch to you.
Someone finally triggered the dead nerve.
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Classic. After office hour and rainy weather. You started to think maybe the universe indeed has a beef with you. As if being spent from the long and tough meeting was not enough. Now your mind wandered as you stared blankly, how much longer you would sit on this cold bench waiting for your bus to come.
"Oh hey there."
You tilted your head lazily, but as you met the eyes of the voice owner, you grinned, almost laughed. Somehow you felt more... at ease? Didn't know how distrait you were until he sat down next to you.
"Thanks by the way for the lunch earlier. How do you know I like that place?"
"You told me--well the whole team when we had team dinner back then. You answered 'what would be your last dinner before you die?' with an oddly specific request," he laughed heartily while you covered your face with one hand reminiscing how your half-sober self behaved.
"I owe you one--" You hesitated to continue but in the end you gave in. "You had dinner?" He shook his head.
"Let me treat you a dinner then. Come on," you said as you stood and ready with your bag over your head.
You ran through the rain, he followed you a couple seconds later as if he still processed the offer. You passed the street and slowed down when you reached the alley with tents sheltering your way.
He swiftly matched your steps, took the outermost side of the lane so you didn't have to get splashed by that goddamn motorcycle speeding through.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I should be the one asking tho. You are the one who looks like you just came out from a muddy river," you said as you gave him the tissue from your bag.
"Well, I took a detour to the nearest swamp for fun," he wiped his face, glasses, and clothes, trying to save his fav button up. He busted out laughing and infected you to do so.
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Dinner went great. You never seemed to run out of topics, it just flowed naturally. Though you and him had to beat some judging eyes because the dark spots from the splash earlier didn't make a nice decoration to his drip.
And from this dinner you realized something. Neither of you had to say anything yet the dynamics was there already. When you reached out for the sauce, he held your flowy sleeve so it wouldn't touch the food.
When his eating pace got slower, you noticed his runny nose and immediately placed the tissue box in front of him. As the conversation went on and on, he kept on sipping his drink every two bites--the spiciness had him. You ordered another refill before his glass was empty.
"Is this what they call food comma... I don't think I can stand on my feet, my belly has threatened to break free from my slack," you said as you dragged your feet trying your hardest to walk, gaining a soft smile from him.
Little did you know, his smile at you meant something else. He actually had a dinner already before he left work today. But how could he said no to an opportunity to see you munching food happily and whining how much you ate afterwards. He whispered a tiny 'cute' that the ghosts couldn't even possibly hear.
It was almost 10 p.m. and the rain had stopped. You and him went back to the bus stop in silence. The streets got a lot quieter, but lively enough to create a comfy white noise.
"We take the same bus right? Line 1A?" You nodded to confirm his question. The LED said their bus would arrive in 35 minutes. In normal situation, you would have made snarky comments. But tonight you made an exception. The long wait didn't anger you a bit. In fact, he brought you to a pleasant conversation to pass the time. From favorite dinner place to dream house, movies that you both like, even to memes you wished it was your idea (he was a meme hoarder like you were apparently, another star added to his profile in your head).
5 minutes left till the bus came.
"I hope the bus never comes," he sighed.
"Yeah.."
Silence. Seemed like neither you nor him actually realized what was being said. The words just slurred, unfiltered from the screen called pride. It caught you off guard. You could already imagined your flustered face so you just shied away avoiding his confused stare. You felt the need to defend yourself, yet you couldn't find any.
He tried to say something, but he ended up just looking at you and chuckled. Maybe it was better that way. As if you knew the moment anyone tried to clear it up, it would enter a delicate area. None of you dared to risk the comfort boundaries of friendship. A change of atmosphere at work was the last thing you wanted. Afraid you would make things awkward not just for you and him, but for everyone.
Thank all the deities, the bus came to break the silence.
Yet your senses just clicked on how you had to bear another 15-minute ride sitting beside him. Because it'd be weirder to sit apart when you got on with your friend, no?
"I like--" he stopped mid sentence and you held your breath, "--this place. This is the restaurant I told you earlier."
You finally exhaled, "Ah.. The place looks as nice as you described it. We should try it sometime."
You tried to play along and keep your cool. Relieved how he broke the ice first and it wasn't awkward. And he looked glad seeing your response.
The rest of the bus ride filled with small talks and stolen glances. This time, you didn't feel the need to come up with something to talk about. The cozy silence was back once again. Until you slowly saw your stop from afar.
"Well, this is me. I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow then. Take--"
"Let me walk you home," he cut you off with a smile and followed you off the bus.
You pondered for a moment, "You sure? My neighborhood is safe at night tho. I'm totally fine walking alone."
"I'm totally not fine with that."
It was the nth time your heart skipped for the night. You started to wonder would there be any discipline opened for heart skipping in the next Olympics.
And a thought crossed your mind at last, 'maybe adding a little push won't hurt'.
"Let's take the long way home then."