remember that we lived @kotaroist - Tumblr Blog

bixiaoshi -> kotaroist

ik i said i was going to go back to a kdj url but furudate had other plans for me. interact if u want etc etc

#CAN YOU REALLY BLAME ME.#yes that pic has my url bcs it's JUST for me. mine #jo.txt #ugh i have to update my links #if bb drops a kdj that makes me feel as much as this bokuto it could change . who knows

cartoonrival

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

fishing-princess

#wait a minute....

yellow-cat

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

#meeeeee

death is so weird to me bcs yeah i know it happens to everyone n everything alive, however, when that happens i remember that it's forever, it's inevitable, sooner or later it will happen to us too. it's permanent. sometimes you forget the person's dead and it's like a wave of grief hits u and you really can't do anything to fight against it bcs they're just gone. you won't see them anymore, you won't hear them anymore, all left is the memories with them. at some point you're going to outlive the time together and there's nothing you can do about it. one day you will have spent more time without them than you did with them and that's just how it is. you're left with everything they left behind, clothes, accesories, books, their favorite cologne, sometimes a pet, maybe a dish they wanted to eat, maybe a gift you recently got for them they never got to use, and you have to figure out what to do with them no matter how painful it is bcs they are never going to use that, they can't. sometimes you'll see something they enjoy and all you can say is "they would've loved this", enjoy it for them maybe. something happens and sometimes i think what they would've thought, i come up with an answer but i'm not sure bcs i'm not them and i can't ask because they're not here and haven't been for a long time. sometimes i wish they were here one last time but i know that would never be enough, bcs if i could i would get more than one time to see them again. you will talk about them with people they loved, people that loved them and it's like for a brief moment they're here, but they're not and they never will be.

#death tw #?#sorry it's just. i've been thinking a lot n a lot has resurfaced #i was just taken back to when i was 10 and my greatgrandma passed away n i was a child and i had so much grief and sadness to carry #and i don't think that grief ever went away #i don't think grief will ever go away #and it's even weirder now bcs she was my stepdad's mom n i didn't spend that much time with her but idk it's weird #i met her when i was 14 and she just accepted me n always said she loved me like a granddaughter. even if i wasn't.#i did have affection for her. more than i did for my grandfather from my dad's side apparently #death is inevitable and i have to be okay with it bcs it will come to me one day #i have to be okay with it bcs that's life. but i carry a grief i don't think i'll ever be able to put down.#jo.txt

bimstown

jimothy my cryptid son

#art

mqfx

(guy who's lost so much and loses more every day) I never fucking lose

orteil42

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement