can tongues in fanfiction stop fighting each other for dominance, let them come home from war

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Today's Document
DEAR READER
almost home
RMH

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@kpopbadfic
can tongues in fanfiction stop fighting each other for dominance, let them come home from war
(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5XXCiRyks0)
Shamelessly stolen from here
Fandom: EXO (Band)
“’It hurts doesn’t it? I’ll pull out now-’
‘SHUT UP BYUN BAEKHYUN AND HURRY STICK YOUR MEAT TAMPON IN ME ALREADY.’ Kyungsoo shouted as he reached for Baekhyun’s cock with his right hand. Baekhyun gasped as Kyungsoo pulled him forward by his dick that he fell straight on top of Kyungsoo and his dick got bent slightly.
It hurts. It fucking hurts.”
my pet peeve are fic summaries with something deep and obscure that not only tell me nothing about the story but dont MEAN anything theyre just words like
‘When lost eyes lock onto a summer’s shadow, will love make it in the end?? [content warnings]: anal fisting ‘
I think I just inhaled coffee through my nose.
Types of fanfic summaries and what they mean
First paragraph of the actual fic: I judge the whole fic by the first words and I assume you do too so here it is
"Just a series or drabbles/headcanons/prompts": Someday I want to write an incredible 200k fic but for now have fun going through all the chapters trying to figure out which one is the one you actually want to read
"Will X be able to find love before Y happens?" And other questions: I read entirely too many YA novels
Quote from the actual fic: I watch entirely too many movie trailers
"Basically just an X fic with Y characters": I can probably write a good summary if I cared a little more
Song lyrics: I have no idea how summaries work and I'm trying to be like the people with poem quotes
Poem quotes: either the best thing you've ever read or 13-year old English literature purple prose there is no in-between
Lol I can't do summaries: I'm not entirely sure if I want you to read my fic
"Wtf is this" or other author questioning themselves: it's either porn or crack
Explicit rated fics: listen my man I know you're not gonna really read the summary just read the tags and decide if my sin is the sin for you
Paragraph of tags and one line summary: ok listen I can't do summaries but I've got this ok IVE GOT THIS
dictionary definition: fluff or angst here you go
Either a meme or a tumblr imagine your otp: I was bored and I had emotions about my ship you can have emotions about them too
Paragraph from the source the fic is from: I've basically written my headcanon and made it prettier
"I'm so sorry" or "I cried while writing this" : I was in a sad mood and I needed a healthy way to release these emotions so now y'all get to suffer
No summary: it's either porn or a small drabble and it all depends on the word count
Actual fic summary: *rocks back on old wheelchair* listen kid *smokes cigarette* I've seen and read a lot of things *blows smoke* and I know it's hard but there's still hope in this world ok? *looks into the distance* also you might wanna read the tags because the chances of gore and/or character death being in my fic have gone from 0 to 75
Quick rec
I like to follow exopromptmeme's updates because I know a lot of amazing writers go there, and I've especially like this fill from round 14:
Title: It's Not A Race
Author:zombiecheeze
Pairing: Kris/Chanyeol
Rating: R
Summary / prompt: Chanyeol is a spoiled rich teen being sent to the countryside as punishment for something he did. There he meets Kris, the stable manager.
If you have time, check it out, guys! It's really worth a read, the character-development is amazing. Also horses. I like horses.
one of the worst fanfics ive ever read |:
warning-abuse, yunjae, jaemin, and homin, sex, rape (gosh i need to stop with the rape! sorry)
I am not really sure what to comment on first here. There's the fact that yunjae, jaemin, and homin are listed as warnings(I guess it's in case someone is offended by these pairings?)
and then there's the author's note to self to try and cut back on the rape scenes in the future. I suppose we should be thankful there is a warning at all.
Self-respect: you're doing it wrong.
The Six Types of Fanfic
1: Hey there, I'm the new girl. I'm the hottest thing around, and everyone is basking in my glow. EXCEPT THE SCHOOL'S BADBOY WHO I REALLY LIKE, BECAUSE, OH MA GOD, HE IS JUST SO RUDE AND COLD TO ME. So obvious he likes me tho.
2: You abused/raped/attacked me and therefore we will get married and have a serious relationship
3: So this one time I wuz in an airport, and dis guy -he looked lyke realllly hot- but i didn't care cuz im so fab. neways, he sat nxt 2 me on the plane and we now are bffs. but when i landed (of course in Korea) I RAN INTO MR.HOTTIE AGAIN, and he has money, and is uber famous, and sings, and dances! Of all the people to like, he wants meh (duh, i'm fab) even tho he could probably have an SNSD member, but no, me.
4: He put his thingy in my you know what and it hurt, and I woke up and it still hurt. And I say the words/phrases "explored each others mouths", "gripped", and "OOPPAAAAAAAAAA" frequently (if not every update)
5: I get paid to be the idols' manager. Sometimes a stylist, but usually the manager, even though i'm a 21 yearold small girl who ran away from my rich family because I'M DIFRENT. SWEARZ.
6: My ovaries are exploding in a month, so that's all the time I have to live. I run around the city with no parental supervision, only to meet ma bias who automagically loves me. I then die in his arms and he writes lotso sad songs about me. OH; I forgot. angssssssssssttttttttttt.
Why yes, this fic is exactly what you think it is.
...
...
...
KRIS/HIS STUFFED ALPACA.
HIS. STUFFED. ALPACA.
[EDIT]
Aw, they do look adorable together. I AM SO SHIPPING THIS.
[EDIT#2]
Who do you think tops?
PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR AHJUMMA-ADMINNIE!
AAAH I TOTALLY FORGOT TO THANK AHJUMMA-ADMINNIE FOR TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS WHILE I WAS GONE!
Admin A, thank you for looking after everyone and making sure that the world knew about the Horror of Badfic.
Thank you~!
...
You know what's the weirdest of them all to me?
BATHROOM CONFESSION.
Like, seriously, WTF. Way to make your story look appealing, Author-sshi.
Creator-sshi is back!
Hello to all of you lovely followers!
After a slightly prolonged hiatus (mostly due to uni asjgdlkaskl PARTY TIEM!), I am back in the business, ready to entertain you guys with brand new, certified cringe fodder.
A few updates:
The main reasons for my comeback being Block B, B.A.P, and the crazy people in EXO fandom, you can expect to see a lot of them around here! (Featuring BYG creeping on Baby Jail-O, Himchan as the Power Uke, U-Kwon gagging for B-Bomb's minibomb, Zico as a pimp, Luhan's sexystache and Yi Wu Fan as himself.)
I'm also thinking about making more picture-posts? Like macro-quotes? I don't know yet, I have to see how it goes.
All is as disturbing as ever on the AFF front, nothing new here.
I've received a few admin requests. Everyone is welcome here, so if you feel like you have to shout your pain and your feels about badfic, please, sign up!
And that should be all...
I'll leave you guys with a Ghei GIF as a token of my good intentions:
(Anyone else thinks Thehun looks slightly catatonic there?)
i finally understand your frustration when authors mix in korean words with english. at first i was okay with it, but this author is really taking the biscuit. i actually got a headache and had to stop reading. it was just so confusing!! that is all, thank you, goodnight.
Yes, that's really one of my pet peeves. I mean, how hard can it be to type 'sorry', 'thank you', 'hello', etc.? Seriously, Bastardized Korean Author-nims, are you all English-deficient?
HERES the most cringe worthy fic i'd ever read
i got up to 12 chapters and i really dont know why