It has been a very long time son ve I ever felt this lonely. This huge black and deep void that scares me every second, a thing that cannot touch me, I can’t see or place, I can’t hear it or kill it, I can’t run away or even hide from it. And it’s because it’s inside me it’s eating me inside out. I’m scared Aleja, I just wanna cry and hide but I can’t it’s following me everywhere in every aspect of my life. God one pice falls and the others follow. I just can’t believe how things are turning into, I just try to be as honest to my self as I can be… but is not enough, I’m panicking all the time. I miss him, I miss the love of my life, he just took a very important part of me. I cry sometimes because I wish I could kiss him and hug him and tell him how much he means to me. But he doesn’t need me, or love me, or want me in any way. He’s a better, stronger person. And I’m… incomplete. Fuck I’m tired of feeling like this. I’m tired of letting everyone down. I’m tired of being a push over. I’m tired of crying, I’m tired of my feelings, I’m tired of living like this. Like this… that’s The important part… if I change maybe I would want to live? Maybe, maybe not. I’m sorry Aleja I’m going nowhere with this maybe you can get a better sight of what’s going on inside my head. This is madness I miss him, I miss you, I miss me. And hate me, I hate him because he can go alone, he can be ok, he’s living, he’s moving, he’s making history. And I don’t deserve him… I was lucky enough to see and to share so many things with him. And I should be grateful for that but I’m not, I wanted more I wanted it all no matter how much that was gonna cost me. I was willing to give him that. But I don’t deserve him, I’m not man enough to be with him. And I’m greedy and just want the best… can’t take any less. I have a favor to ask you today and I really hope you can help me with this. Please go into his dreams and tell him that I’m here crying like a little boy with no more than love for him. I’m here with all my body and soul full of love for him. Please tell him I haven’t stopped thinking about him. And tell him that I’m sorry for what I did wrong. I’d do anything in the world to change it and have been person enough to be with him. I wish him the best and I know you take care of me Aleja I know you care for me and I have appreciate it and cherished for years, but I wanted to ask you to please stop doing it for me and please go and take care of him. He’s a special person and he’s lonely, with you I know he will find the strength to make it big. Help him because I couldn’t. And please try to show him that I love him with more than words can express.
theartofmadeline
annaxmalina
titsay
jacobvanloon
dededos
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
