No Soap Jokes, Please

Name: Ajax. Specialty: Sabotage. Age: Older than you.

[agentinvidia-blog]

“ … But that’s none of my business.”

[krajax]

“No, darling. It most certainly is not, thank you very much.”

[theriomorphics-deactivated20221]

“ quiche ?? if that’s all you can do, then you are DEFINITELY useless, my friend. and combat barbie ?? excuse me —- but WHO are you again ?? last time i checked you have no right to talk to me like that. ”

[krajax]

“Who I think I am is the agent you just so casually called ‘useless.’ Twice, as a matter of fact,  since we suddenly want to become indignant. I’d say I’m well within my rights, unless there’s a clause in the Olympian Magna Carta you’d like to shut me up with.”

[opheliawalshs-blog]

“they won’t listen to an agent who has only been around for two months. if you talk to them they will listen. you hold more power around here than i do.” 

[krajax]

“Darling, darling, darling... I may be a veteran agent but you--  YOU are an extraordinarily beautiful young woman. And that is the greatest power of all.”

“Now, run along. Work those feminine charms. Make Uncle Ajax proud.”

[nikethestatue]

[theriomorphics-deactivated20221]

“ —– GOD, it’s okay. please stop making so many references, it’s kind of annoying. i got it the first time that you can’t help me. i’ll just talk to chronos about it since you are useless. ”

[krajax]

“I wouldn’t say I’m useless. I make a great quiche,” he sneered flippantly. “Now, what’s annoying, is having your very busy workday interrupted by Combat Barbie.”

[spiritguides]

     ❝ I have a name. ❞ She lifted a finger and wagged it in his direction.  ❝ And it ISN’T sweetheart. ❞ Mavis crossed her arms over her chest.  ❝ Nothing crawled up my ass this morning, you’re just annoying as fuck.  ❞

[krajax]

“A name? Of course. It wouldn’t happen to be Annabelle, would it?” He stifled his snicker. Truly, it was immature and frankly beneath him to result to name-calling and attacks on her appearance. Though he wasn’t the first to go for the low blow. “I’m sorry, that was incredibly childish. Well, I’m sorry to have interrupted your phone call but this is a communal space. Clearly, it wasn’t that important since you’ve taken the time to exchange verbal blows with me instead of tending to the person on the other line.”

[spiritguides]

      Mavis scoffed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked at him for a LONG minute and observed nearly every inch of him. Her lips TWISTED in distaste and she laughed LOUDLY at his comment.  ❝ Kinda GLAD I’m not your type. You look like a vampire, sound like one too. Tell me do you sleep upside down or prefer a coffin?? ❞

[krajax]

The older man clutched his broad chest, feigning hurt feelings as he pouted down at the redhead. “Oh, sweetheart. Those are some bold words coming from a woman who resembles a haunted ventriloquist dummy from a B-horror movie. I’d ask you what crawled up your arse this morning, but clearly, it was a hand.”

[krajax]

[ sms ] → kraken .

loki: no lets rehearse for when i see u in person ok? ready? OK.

loki: wouldn't u like to find out daddy ;)

kraken: I have socks older than you.

kraken: I know we've been dabbling in a certain Greek organization too long but I'm not into the whole pederasty thing.

[krajax]

[ sms ] → kraken .

loki: a famous villian, obviously.

loki: the daddy issues r already there, u see, currently, i'm really fighting the urge to hit on u right now ;)

kraken: And I hope you'll continue to fight that urge.

kraken: Can you even grow body hair yet, young pup?

[metalkilltheking]

Visit Original Link

Faith No More - Epic

1989. The Real Thing

[krajax]

[ sms ] → kraken .

loki: that coming from davy jones' lil fuckin bitch OK

loki: but i mean... that's kinda goals???

kraken: Touche.

kraken: What's "goals"? Being Davy Jones' bitch or being a Marvel villain with daddy issues?

kraken: Personally, I think you'd excel at either.

[opheliawalshs-blog]

“no – why waste money when you can just borrow it from here? that made no sense. what a stupid question to ask – and yes i said spell – did you not hear me when i told you i practice the craft?”

[krajax]

“No, you’ll have to forgive me if I didn’t fully process that part, my dear. Listen, why don’t you just talk to the cooks? I’m sure you can wear them down. Just bat your eyelashes or something, if you can’t spare the two quid for a full jar of  it.”

[krajax]

[ sms ] → kraken .

loki: so let me get this straight, after all that BULLSHIT i'm STRIPPED OF MY CODENAME ??? 💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣👿

loki: it's ok. my new one is much better anyway 😈🔪🔪

kraken: Seriously? Do you think so?

kraken: When you say "Loki" most people think of a Marvel movie villain with daddy issues.

[themusicismymasterr]

Visit Original Link

More Than Words - Extreme (Pornograffitti, 1990)

[opheliawalshs-blog]

“well – i wouldn’t. daedalus is awfully busy you know.. damn it.. okay, look – i just need to you sneak me a couple ingredients from the kitchen without being caught, the chefs are really rude when it comes to taking their ingredients for personal use. but i need a couple of star anise seeds for a good luck spell.” 

[krajax]

For a moment, all he could do is blink at the girl before a disbelieving laugh ripped from his chest. “I don’t suppose you’ve thought of and ruled out popping around to the shops for your star anise seeds? And I’m sorry, did you say a ‘spell’?”

[krajax]

Since ICHOR agents are now active, there really isn’t much reason for me to keep this a secret ooc. (Though it was kind of fun while it lasted.)

Brandon is a double agent. His ICHOR codename is Kraken.

[spiritguides]

         There was a MOMENT where Mavis managed to lower the phone from her ear and give some of her ATTENTION to the man who managed to INTERRUPT her conversation with pure nonsense. She scoffed and turned her head; her FIERY hair swept over her rose-tinted cheeks as she eyed the man.  ❝ I’m talking on the phone. ❞ She corrected with a rather SHARP tongue, which in Mavis’ case was a n y t h i n g BUT unusual.  ❝ Sorry but you’re not exactly the SUGAR DADDY I’m looking for. ❞

[krajax]

Brandon turned from the addressee the moment he heard a feminine voice shoot off in his direction. He turned on his heel, unappreciative of having his own conversation (no matter how one-sided) interrupted. “And I’m talking in person. I’m sure reception is even better out of doors, love.” Looking her up and down, her raised his heavy brows at her last comment. “How quaint of you to presume to be my type.”