A Batman Request/Prompt.
I wanna see more stories in the “Batman Nobody Knows/Legends of the Dark Knight/Have I Got a Story For You“ model.
Some Possible Variations:
-Native Gothamites trying to fill in a new arrival.
-A bunch of low-level crooks in Blackgate sharing stories of how Batman nabbed ‘em.
-A bunch of cops trading stories about sightings.
-Several doctors at Arkham, recounting what they’ve reconstructed from their assorted patient’s rambling.
-People on a cryptid website, none of whom have ever set foot in Gotham.
-A team of D-list heroes (actual characters) gossiping.
-A team of D-list heroes (invented for story) gossiping.
–Several academics share theories.
BONUS: At least one person in each case is an incognito member of the Bat-fam, lying outrageously.
(I’m sure there’s existing fanfics of all of these, aren’t there?)
So, I’m reblogging my old post cuz it’s the last thing I’ll be posting ‘til after Yom Kippur and I’m kinda hoping someone will have done something with it by then.
This will not occur, but I am hopeful.
Yeah, I’m re-reblogging this, because I’m still hopeful.
I am somehow still hopeful and thus am not only self-reblogging this again, I am pinning it.
Self-Reblogging before Rosh HaShana.
Also, a question; should I include an explanation of what The Batman Nobody Knows, etc. is in the pin?
That’d probably be a good idea
OK, here goes!
The Batman Nobody Knows! is a short from the Bronze Age, in which Bruce, in his persona as a billionaire philanthropist, takes three under-privileged inner city kids on a camping trip as some sort of Big Brothers mentorship dealie. The kids, being kids from Gotham City, inevitably end up talking about the city’s most famous cryptid, with each having a very different (and to Bruce’s increasing dismay, very wrong) idea:
-One kid asserts that, being both a stone-cold badass and objectively cool, Batman has to be a Black man, painting him as hi-tech Blaxploitation hero.
-Another declares that no, he’s an inhuman monster, like Man-Bat actually is.
-The third relates a story he heard from an ex-con who’d been captured by the Bat. Bruce’s hopes for some accuracy are quickly dashed, as said ex-con embellished the story to make himself look better, depicting Batman as a ten-foot tall giant with ludicrously huge ears, who caught him more by dumb luck than anything else.
The story concludes with Bruce donning his costume, and claiming that that’s what Batman actually looks like. The kids tell him to stop making a fool of himself.
==============================================
“Legends of the Dark Knight“ is an episode of The New Batman Adventures, in which several Gotham City kids gossip about the latest criminal menacing the city, which segues into them talking about how Batman will inevitably kick said villain’s butt, and then segues into an argument about what Batman is like. One kid says he’s some kind of “pterodactyl monster”, but the substance of the episode is taken up by two other kids, who’s stories are depicted as homages to past takes on the Gotham Gladiator; one to the Silver Age Batman, in the style of Dick Sprang, the other a homage to The Dark Knight Returns.
After telling their tales, the kids manage to witness the final battle between the Dark Knight and the mystery villain, who turns out to be Firefly. In the conclusion, all of them crow at having been vindicated, prompting another argument.
===============================================
“Have I Got A Story For You“ is the first segment in the DTV animated anthology Batman: Gotham Knight. In a skate park, four kids, each of whom claims to have witnessed a portion of Batman’s confrontations across the city with a criminal frogman, tell their tale. One depicts Batman as a sort of living shadow, one as a monstrous Man-bat-style creature, and one as either a robot or an armored Iron Man-type. The fourth, who actually saw the end of the fight, tells what really happened, and describes Batman accurately.
So, this post has over a hundred notes, which is flattering.
But, has anyone actually written anything based on it?
One month shy of almost two years since I posted this, someone actually found some!
…
Crap, I forgot to ask if I can talk about them publicly. Gaah!
Conners! Back again, ya damn lowlife.

Screw you, Lincoln.
Haw haw haw. Yeah right. Whatchu do, man. You ain’t got a scratch on you. The heck you doing in D block if you ain’t the same lowlife you always been? Ha ha ha.
I said screw you Lincoln! Screw. You.
Ooh, I hit a nerve or somethin’? Come on, baby. I gotchu. You miss ol Lincoln? You miss Mama Blackgate???
It was the bat, you ass.
Psssh get outta here with that.
….
Even if the Bat was real, which he ain’t, what the heck he want with a schmuck like you?
I was throwin’ merch bound for the Iceberg. Hired me clean thru my PO. A dock job. 7 hours on, 1 hour for lunch, union, the works.
How’s a con like you get a gig like that?!
I know, right? But Amber just had Mikey Jr., and the money was amazing up front and no one was hiring.
Damn, dude.
Alls I gotta do is show at the docks around 11 on a Sunday night and throw some crates in a truck. I don’t ask. I don’t care. All I want is my biweekly and my PO to die in a fire.
So cut the bull, man. You’re back here in my loving arms.
SCREW. YOU.
Come on, baby. Don’t be coy.
Douche.
Come on baby. Sit on daddy’s lap.
Screw you, screw your dumbass kid, your whore wife, and your ugly useless damn dog.
Ante up, baby. It’s your deal. Gotta pay to play, sugar.
Here’s your ante. 5 stud…
I was throwing my crates man. Nobody getting hurt or robbed. Loading boxes is all. Next thing I know, the driver loses three teeth and get a dislocated jaw. All I see is flash of movement. The guy from the iceberg (forgetisname) sunglasses, a suit, and a gun at night like a jerk. Well, he’s down next. Black hand grabs him under the nose and slams him onto the concrete. I keep hearing that sound. 
Damn, bro.
Right? Like it was way beyond sickening. I heard it and it made me wince… anyways. I see this, I dunno, Black thing running around popping dudes. Each of them falling down screaming.
Tell me you ain’t no rat. Tell me my celly baby ain’t a damn rat.
Cool it, Lincoln. I didn’t rat. I just didn’t fight.
Pussy.
Yeah, because there’s some nobility in doing a dime with a broken nose and no teeth for the first year?
Haw haw haw, that’s damn true. So what’d you do, baby?

I sat my happy ass on crate and surrendered.
Welcome back, sugar. Haw haw haw.
Screw you Lincoln. Your stupid ass still owes me 3 weeks of commissary credits. So ante up, “BABY”.
Thankee kindly!
I have received permission from @mirrorfalls (thanks mirrorfalls!) to post the additional comics he found that may fit the mold. Be aware I, foolishly, haven’t gotten around to reading any of these yet, as i am lazy bum.
-Legends of the Dark Knight #94, “Viewpoint”. Quoth mirrorfalls:
It’s been more than a decade since I read it, but I can still distinctly remember the plot: a bunch of people get trapped in an elevator and share anecdotes of Batman to pass the time.
Unlike the stories you mention, this one is more explicitly a tribute to different points in Batman’s history (Golden Age, Silver Age, etc.)
(which I guess makes it like the B:TAS episode?)
-Batman #423, “You Shoulda Seen Him…" Quoth mirrorfalls:
This one is told from three cops’ viewpoints; I’m not too hot on it because it was written by Jim Starlin at the height of his “be Frank Miller except worse in every measure” kick, so there’s a fair bit of Reagan-era brainrot, but for completionism’s sake…
-The BTAS episode “P.O.V.” Quoth mirrorfalls:
It’s prooooobably stretching the premise to the breaking point to include BTAS’ “P.O.V.” (and you’ve likely already seen it), but give that an honorary mention as well.
(I have seen it, though I don’t recall it well. However, I’m pretty sure it’s really more of a Rashomon-type dealie, so mirrorfalls is right on both points)
-Detective Comics #719, “Sound and Fury”. Quoth mirrorfalls:
theoretically a tie-in to Cataclysm, but the earthquake stuff is solely in the last two pages. Before that it’s a charming (if childish) tale of a petty con exaggerating his encounter with Batman.
-Batman #584, Quoth mirrorfalls:
“The Dark Knight Project”, is about two student filmmakers going around making a documentary about Batman. They do interact with the man himself at the end, which might spoil the fun a little, but I remember it being a pretty good story.
(There was a fan-film of the same title made after Batman Begins; no idea what that’s like.)
Thanks again to @mirrorfalls!
I will read all of these eventually, and report back someday. In the meantime, if folks can keep looking or making Batman Nobody Knows fics, I’d appreciate it!
@mirrorfalls has provided a slight correction to the above, to wit:
Legends of the Dark Knight #94 is titled "Stories”.“Viewpoint” is Issue #0, which sort-of fits what you’re looking for. It’s the tale of a tabloid publisher trying to deduce Batman’s secret identity, who demands his writers each give their “take” on Batman.The bulk of it isn’t really a story, though - it’s preview snippets of upcoming stories in the title (which was out-of-continuity, remember, so they could commission as many as they wanted all at once).
Oh, hey I just realized; I have read one of @mirrorfalls's suggestions, actually. The Cataclysm one, specifically.
