Midnight Pals: Spooky Rabbit
Damien McCarthy: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, i call this the tale of the guy who, via a series of Rube Goldberg-esque contrivances, has a supernatural experience McCarthy: also McCarthy: there's a spooky rabbit Ramsey Campbell: ooo! a rabbit!
McCarthy: yeah this rabbit is kind of my trademark McCarthy: you know, like the little penguin in an oliphant cartoon McCarthy: you see a rabbit and you know, hey, that's a damien mccarthy joint
McCarthy: like, also this ain't no cute bunny McCarthy: this rabbit is all fucked up McCarthy: so if you see a fucked up rabbit McCarthy: that's my bit Andrew Michael Hurley: now wait a minute Hurley: you don't have a monopoly on fucked up rabbits
McCarthy: look, dean's got dogs Koontz: i like dogs McCarthy: howard's got cats Lovecraft: yes McCarthy: billy's got ferrets Poppy Z Brite: legalize them! do it for the little guy! McCarthy: yeah right right McCarthy: anyway i should get to have an animal as a bit
McCarthy: anyway, in order to escape the ghost, this guy has to solve a series of contrived puzzles McCarthy: just turn the crank and snap the plank McCarthy: boot the marble down the shoot McCarthy: watch it roll and hit the bowl McCarthy: knock the ball in the rub a dub tub
McCarthy: put the man in the pan McCarthy: the trap is set! here comes the net! McCarthy: i guarantee! it's the craziest trap you'll ever see! McCarthy: HOKUM!
McCarthy: anyway this guy is locked in a hotel room McCarthy: and he can only escape via a series of convoluted puzzles Thomas Disch: let me try! puzzle games are my forte Poe: oh right, i forgot about that Poe: it's been a long time since we referenced this gimmick
Disch: using my expertly honed point-and-click adventure game mind, i will figure out how to get this guy out of this hotel room Koontz: oo! try typing "open door" Disch: ha ha oh dean my sweet summer child Disch: that's a rookie mistake
Disch: first i have to try every esoteric alternative way to phrase that order, so that i can complain when i find one that the game designer failed to implement Barker: oh damn i didn't realize this guy was a SERIOUS adventure gamer
Disch: to escape the hotel room, first i'll throw a pie at this yeti Disch: then i'll draw a mustache on a fake ID after I make myself a fake mustache out of this cat hair i got by sticking a strip of tape above a hole in a fence Barker: damn this guy is good Poe: like watching a master at work
Disch: ok what if i deconstruct a clock and use the little mechanical man who rings the bell to push the button to summon the dumbwaiter Koontz: what if you tried breaking down the door? Disch: dean! please! Disch: stop breaking my concentration!
Koontz: but i just think, maybe, if you tried the door... Disch: ha! try the door? such an obvious solution! Disch: who do you think i am, ron gilbert? Disch: now quiet, i'm thinking! Disch: hmm is there a way to escape this dungeon without the wizard's key
McCarthy: thank you for playing hokum. as usual, you've been a real pantload
