I am no longer doing taglists. Please follow my side blog, @the-iceni-library to stay up to date on all the latest filth!
This blog is 18+ ONLY!!! Because I’m an old lady, I love to use bad words, and there’s just a ton of porn here. There will be an occasional dub-con or very dark fic. I do like writing fight scenes so there are going to be mentions of pretty graphic violence. I do my best to tag accordingly, and put content warnings on each of my fics but if you notice I’ve missed a warning anywhere, please DM me and I’ll fix it ASAP!!
I write reader insert fics for whatever I feel like, but it’s mostly Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan characters. I will also probably have more wlw fics as well, so look forward to those! I’m up for anything! I do my best to keep descriptions of the reader as vague as possible to keep things inclusive, but will sometimes add descriptors of easily changed aesthetic things (i.e. tattoos, piercings, etc.). Again, if you have trouble fully immersing yourself in one of my fics due to a reader description, please let me know! I welcome constructive criticism.
As beefy and scary as he looks, Bucky Barnes is just as much of an absolute ray of sunshine with his eye-crinkling smiles and heart as huge as an ocean. Another thing about Bucky is that he is an absolute goner for his grumpy little flower and has been ever since glared down a guy and saved Bucky from being bullied back in high school.
This is their journey of love, life and heartbreak.
Pairing: college!sunshine!bucky x college!grumpy!reader
This is an au so it'll be a collection of headcanons, drabbles, one shots, ask and requests. So interaction and requests will be very much encouraged and appreciated. There will be all kinds of types that's accepted like fluff, smut and of course angst
Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this and please do interact, comment and reblog. It means a great deal to me.
Warnings: shy reader, mentions of anxiety, rude customers, protective Steve
You're having a bad day. Nothing has gone right since you crawled out of bed this morning and your anxiety is beginning to spiral out of control. You don't know if you can handle one more customer yelling at you.
Days like this you wish you were more like Sarah or Max. They're so...bold and fearless. Your two coworkers can cut a jackass down in seconds and move on.
But you hold on to the mean words flung at you by a group of men because the cook forgot their bacon. And it hurts.
Steve's in his regular booth, a few files in front of him. He's supposed to be going over the quarterly earnings but all he can focus on is you. His stomach knots painfully as he takes in the scene unfolding before him. He once joked that you were sunshine and looking at you, it's not a joke. You're radiant and beatiful.
You're also on the verge of tears and you're anxious. He can tell by the way your shoulder hunch, a protective measure to make yourself smaller and he hates seeing it. You'll always feel safe with him. You'll never have to dim your light around him.
Steve doesn't want to intrude, fighting every instinct in his body to storm over to the booth and hurt everyone who's hurting you. Aa much as he wants to protect you, he can't bear the thought of you being scared of him.
So he waits until you slip into the back and he saunters over to the rest of your section. Planting his boot on the chair of the ringleader, he pushes it in until the man is wheezing for air. Everyone turns to him, conversations rapidly quieting until a thick heavy silence blankets the air.
Steve looks around meeting every pair of eyes with his cold dark blues. "This shit ends right now." He doesn't raise his voice, he doesn't need to. "When my girl comes back out here, you're going to be nice. You're going to make her job easy. You're going to clean up after yourselves and you're going to tip. A lot. If I catch anyone in this town disrespecting her again-" he cuts off, laughing softly, pressing harder on the chair.
"Let's put it this way, I'm scared of what I'll do to the next person that makes her cry."
Steve puts his boot down with a soft thud, the chair careening back, the faint gasps of the man echoing through the room. Steve saunters back to his seat and picks up his paper.
You step out of the back, two plates in your hands. Your wide eyes sweep across the quiet space, your stomach plummeting. "Did-did something happen?"
Steve subtly clears his throat and the conversations resume.
You gingerly approach the table, setting the plates down. "I um, I'm sorry about-"
The men clamor over themselves, apologizing for being rude, thanking you profusely for your help. You're shocked but you're not about to question it.
You leave the table, rubbing the back of your neck, confused but grateful to not be yelled at again. Turning at the sound of your name, you see Steve sitting in his booth. And for the first time since you woke up a genuine smile graces your lips. You don't even remember walking to him until you're standing in front of him.
"Hi little dove," Steve grins when you duck your head, almost dropping your notepad.
"How are you?"
"I'm getting better and better by the second," he says, his eyes drifting over your face. "Why don't you take a break and join me?"
He leans back in booth, gesturing for you to join him. Your eyes flit over the iced latte next to your favorite sandwich. It's from the coffee shop next to the bookstore. You only mentioned it once, the fact that he remembered does something to your heart.
Part of you wants to run, it's always easier to run and avoid things like this. Because guys like him don't fall for girls like you. But as you look into his eyes, you're suddenly not so sure if that's true.
And for once in your life, you want to stay and see what happens instead of dreaming about the what ifs.
****
"Hey gorgeous," Marcie squeals in her phone, hiding behind a worn menu. She watches you slowly sit down and she almost screams, the yes fucking finally lodging in her throat. "You won't believe what's going down-"
Since I appear to have maxed out the number of links in a single post, here is the continuation of my Masterlist.
I’ll format it in the same way, that being chronologically, rather than by monster or reader ‘type’, and the rating (sfw/nsfw) will be added to each part/story.
Newer stories at the bottom. Be sure to check the original post (not just reblogs) for updates!
Masterlist Part One here.
Masterlist of Shorter Stories and Drabbles here.
Male werewolf x female character (Gabe & Odessa) Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw), Part Six (sfw)
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Date updated: 08.11.2021 - UK date order: Day, Month, Year
*since I maxed out the number of links you can put in a single post. How’s that for an achievement!
Newer stories at the bottom. Be sure to check the original post (not just reblogs) for updates!
Short stories masterlist can be found here!
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Some stories (particularly older ones) might have funky formatting. Sorry - that’s a tumblr glitch!
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Orc lover (Khuruz) x fem reader Part One (sfw) | Part Two (sfw) | Part Three (mostly sfw) | Part Four (sfw) | Part Five - Final (nsfw)
Shadow (nsfw)
Hellhound (Ranek) (nsfw)
Shadow Monster x Fem Reader (nsfw)
Deaf werewolf Part One (sfw) Part Two (slight nsfw) x reader (poly, two male werewolves, Rowan and Caleb x reader)
Fem!Werewolf in heat with lone male alpha Part One (nsfw) Part Two (nsfw) - Part Two is an anon submission, not my writing, but I feel it definitely deserves to go here.
Gargoyle lover x fem reader (Alesh) Part One (nsfw) Part Two (nsfw)
Male chupacabra x male reader (nsfw)
Big burly submissive alien x reader (First Officer Ornorx) (nsfw)
Demon lover x male reader (Oriyeth) (nsfw)
Body-shy alien x female reader (Er’Athien) (nsfw)
Female orc (Bronwyn) x female reader (sfw) Part One (sfw) | Part Two (nsfw) | Part Three (nsfw)
Curvy female reader x male monster (nsfw)
Male dragon x female reader (Telum) (nsfw)
Male forest monster x female reader (Nyrrath) (sfw)
Female harpy x male character (Merilla x Eleksei) (sfw)
Male naga x female reader (Isak) (nsfw)
Slime boy x female reader (Silythe) (nsfw)
Slime boy x male reader (Chalce) (nsfw)
Male naga x reader (Ascal) Part One (sfw [mostly]) Part Two (nsfw)
Male gnoll/hyena boy (Brenn) x female reader Part One (nsfw) Part Two (sfw ish) Part Three (sfw) Part Four (nsfw) Part Five (nsfw) Part Six/Epilogue (sfw)
Merman x female reader (Tallis) (nsfw)
Male kelpie x reader (Aonar) (nsfw) Part One | Part Two (nsfw, female reader)
Male centaur x female reader (Yrik) (mostly sfw)
Modern day male orc x female reader (Kelyn) (nsfw)
Octomer girl x reader (Celi) (nsfw)
Male goblin x reader (Skyrrik) (nsfw)
Male bat monster x plus sized female reader (Pallas) (nsfw)
Modern day male orc x female reader (Garek) (nsfw)
Male spider monster x female reader (Sarrith) (nsfw)
Shy male werewolf x female reader (Theo) (light nsfw)
Male cave fae/monster x reader (Graith) (nsfw)
Male forest spirit/guardian x female reader (Sylvestris) (nsfw)
Female orc pole dancer x female reader (’Barbarian’) (sort of nsfw?)
Male orc x female reader (Lasza) (sfw) Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Male orc x female reader (Thur’khul) Part One (sfw) | Part Two (sfw) | Part Three (nsfw)
Male naga x female reader (Wyorhin) (sfw, fluffy aftercare)
Androgynous werewolf x ftm reader (Riley) (sfw)
Male bat monster x female reader (Istrill) (sfw)
Monster under the bed x reader (sfw) (short story)
Female plant monster x female reader (Margaret) (light nsfw) (commission)
Female rakshasi x female reader (Sarthi) (sfw) Part One (commission) Part Two
Swamp king short fic (sfw)
Deep sea merman x shallow-water merman (Oneir x Ilarr) (commisssion) Part One and Part Two
Male hellhound & male werewolf x female reader (Eliron and Dan) (commission)
Female gnoll reader x female human knight (Leä) (commission)
White ermine mothman x female reader (Niall) (commission)
Male alien x female soldier (Hunter) (commission) Part One (sfw), Part Two (nsfw)
Vampire queen x female dragon shifter (Violet x Celant) (nsfw)
Shadow monster x reader (sfw)
Male kitsune x reader (Touma) (nsfw)
Male manticore x plus size female reader (Nirhan) (nsfw)
Blind male hellhound x male hellhound (sfw)
Female minotaur x female reader (Marla) (nsfw)
Male orc x reader (Casey) (nsfw)
Male orc x reader (Damien) (sfw)
Male haunted armour x reader (Aubrey) Part One (sfw) Part Two (nsfw)
Female orc x buff female reader (Lily) (sfw, mostly)
Cerberus boyfriends x reader (Finley, Jack, Thom) (nsfw)
Female spider monster x male reader (Astriah) (nsfw)
Male ooze x reader (Tokis) (sfw) Part Two (sfw)
Male sea kelpie x male reader (Arran) (nsfw)
Male selkie (Nathan) x female reader (nsfw)
Male tiefling (Maikel) x male reader (very light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male gorgon x male reader (very light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male dragon x female reader (very light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male scarecrow x female reader (sad… and with light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male selkie x female reader (light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Non-binary incubus x non-gendered reader (light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male dullahan x female reader Choose Your Own Adventure story Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen (final)
Female naga x AFAB non-binary reader (nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male orc mage (Orrakh) x reader (sfw)
Shadow monster x reader (sfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male uruk hai orc (Mauhír) x reader (sfw) Part One, Part Two (sfw), Part Three (very light nsfw)
Male orc x male reader (nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male orc x female reader (light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Werewolf x reader (light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male werewolf x reader (very light nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male rakshasa x female reader (light-ish nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Male werewolf x male reader (nsfw) (angst prompt fills)
Lonesome male fae x non-binary reader (sfw)
Big male half-demon x reader (Arzeran) (nsfw)
Male naga + male mongoose x reader (Jhinyu + Tavi) (sfw), short story continuation (sfw)
Chiaroscuro - a Hades and Persephone tale: Part One (sfw) Part Two (All chapters continued on Ao3)
Male orc (Lan) x reader (nsfw)
Male orc (Dragh) x female reader (nsfw)
Deaf male tiefling x female reader (sfw) Part Two (sfw)
Male scarred werewolf (Rhett) x female reader (sfw) Part One, Part Two, Part Three (nsfw), Part Four
Male minotaur x female reader *commission* (sfw + fluffy)
Female space pirate x female reader *commission* (nsfw)
Male minotaur x female reader (sfw and disgustingly fluffy)
Male gnoll (’Poodle), precursory drabble prompt (sfw)
Lich, no gender mentioned, monster’s POV - prompt “Housekeeper wanted; living or dead”. Sfw
Male orc dom x female reader sub (sfw, early stages, meeting up and working it out) Part Two (sfw) *ko-fi commission*
Homeless male merman (Leyil) x reader (sfw) Part Two (nsfw), Christmas Special (nsfw)
Non-binary trickster spirit x reader (sfw)
Poly male minotaur x male orc x female reader (nsfw)
Male dom orc (Bresz) x female sub reader (nsfw)
Male changeling/fae (Mhorrin) x male reader (nsfw)
Male orc (Dhurak) x reader (sfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male tiefling (Killygren) x male reader (nsfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male orc (Noah) x reader (nsfw) *Starfall Springs*
Female selkie (Bess) x female reader (nsfw) *Mermay/Starfall Springs*
Male merman (Connor) x male reader (nsfw) *Mermay/Starfall Springs*
Male octomer (Caspian) x reader (nsfw) *Mermay/Starfall Springs*
Male hermit crab mer (Leo) x reader (nsfw) *Mermay/Starfall Springs*
Male selkie (Dennek) x reader (very light nsfw) *Mermay*
Male each-uisge/sea kelpie (Rhion) x reader (sfw) *Mermay*
Mothman (Fitz) x male reader (sfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male vampire (Ruben) x trans male character (sfw) Part One, Part Two and a slight AU feel extract (reader insert, sfw)
Male white tiger rakshasa x female reader (sfw)
Male scarred fae (Winter) x female reader (Violet from Brenn’s story - see above) (nsfw)
Male samebito (sharkman) (Tai) x male reader (nsfw)
Male centaur (Jaime) x reader (nsfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male lizardfolk (Bik) x female reader (nsfw) (commission)
Male lich (Rhae) x reader (nsfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male half-orc (Tamas) x male character (Josslyn) (nsfw) *Orctober*
Male orc (Arikh) x male human (nsfw, D/s) *Orctober*
Female orc (Rakasha) x male character (Virion) (nsfw)
Male ice orc (Reshi) x female reader (nsfw) *Orctober*
Male fae (Winter) x female character (sfw) *modern policeman AU for Winter!*
Mute male siren x female reader (nsfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male Uruk-hai x reader (nsfw) *Orctober*
Male shadow/room monster (Lamorak) x female reader (nsfw)
Male werewolf (Lowe) x female reader (nsfw)
Male half-drow half-firbolg (Suléth) x reader (sfw)
Male alien (Tarann) x nb human (nsfw)
Male drider (Sarrigan) x reader (nsfw) *Starfall Springs*
Male orc x female reader (v.light nsfw) *Patreon tier reward*
Male changeling Fae/forest monster (Dunnock) x female reader (sfw) Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Female vampire x female hunter (sfw) *writing stream*
Male ice dragon x cursed female reader (nsfw) *surprise Patreon thank you*
Male orc (Vilugh) x male ‘reader’ (1st person) - WIP, Part One, Part Two,
Female tiefling (Salanei) x female princess (nsfw)
Non-binary lich (Avery) x reader (nsfw)
Non-binary incubus (Ferren) x reader (nsfw)
Non-binary sleep paralysis/nightmare demon x reader (nsfw)
Male drider (Gilvas) x female reader Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four
Male vampire x male character Part One (sfw), Part Two (nsfw), Part Three (nsfw), Part Four (nsfw)
Male witch x male goth (non-monster romance story) ‘Like Moon and Tide’: Part One, Part Two, Part Three (v. light nsfw) *discontinued*
Male orc x male selkie x gender neutral reader, Part One (light nsfw), Part Two (nsfw)
Male orc (Rakkan) x male reader (sfw + fluffy) *commission*
Male werewolf (Rollo) x female character (sfw) *commission*
Male werewolf (Emmett) x male reader (sfw +fluffy) *commission*
Male lich/draugr (Kalle) x female character (Raena): Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (nsfw)
Male vampire (Rafe) x gender neutral reader (nsfw, light D/s) *commission*
Male alpha werewolf (Conall) x female reader (nsfw) *commission*
Male orc ( Áskel) x female reader (nsfw) *commission*
Male drider (Lorn) x male character (Eskil) (nsfw) *commission*
Male troll (Helkan) x gender neutral reader (nsfw) *commission*
Male naga (Deian) x male reader (nsfw) *commission*
Male kitsune (Eiji) x female reader (sfw) *commission*
Eldritch space entity x female character (nsfw) *commission*
Spooktober #1 ‘Witches’ (sfw)
MASTERLIST PART TWO
(I’ve maxed out the number of links in a single post, so please click the link above for the rest of my masterlist of works!)
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Dragon Shifter Series - released weekly from 3rd January 2020
Prince of the Court of Night x female reader *commission* (nsfw) Part Two (nsfw)
Male winged shadowborne fae (Shaer) x female reader (nsfw) *commission* (long!)
Male reptilian fae (Adan) x female reader (nsfw) *commission*
Male triton Fae (Kaerio) x female character (sfw) *commission*
Winter Solstice *undergoing re-editing prior to full story release on Patreon* - a Court of Winter story, male fae x female character Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw)
Male winged shadowborne fae (Ahrin) x reader (nsfw)
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Footsteps in the Snow Masterlist (mlm Skyrim story)
______________________________
List updated (new stories at the bottom of the main list - i.e. before the section beginning ‘Dragon Shifter Series’):
No longer updated - please see part two (linked at the top) for the latest offerings from Monsters and Maw!
Male werewolf x female character - Chapter Six (sfw)
Ok folks, it’s time to move the story on. We’ve had more than our fair share of fluff and it’s time for a teeny tiny taste of angst. Just a little. Thank you to everyone who’s reblogged and sent in asks about it - it’s kept the embers glowing beneath the cookpot that contains this story, so thank you thank you thank you.
Content: *may contain spoilers if you’re trying to avoid them but I want to put it here anyway because it may be something people wish to avoid* the shitty ex makes an attempt at manipulation, and we finally find out what our werewoofer looks like as a woofer instead of just a wer(e)…
Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw)
Of course, any day that seemed to be going perfectly was bound to shatter like a dropped vase eventually.
After her lunch with Gabe, they’d ambled the length of the street together, down to a small, stone bridge over a river that Gabe said linked back to the beck that passed the cabin. She paused, putting palms to mossy stone and leaning over to watch a dipper splash about in the fast-flowing current, its brown and white plumage looking at once perfectly in place and just a little bit flashy. Gnats danced and whirled in intricate patterns in the air above the water, and the trees bent their boughs to taste the water, coppery leaves of turning birch fluttering down to kiss the river before the wash swept them on.
She sighed deeply. “It’s so beautiful here.”
Gabe hummed something from behind her, but didn’t speak, and before too long, they headed back towards the Centre.
“I’ve got the rest of my shift, and I’ll need to take the dogs for a run after work,” he said when he paused at the entrance to the building with his hand on the door, “But maybe we can do the Deer’s Leap route tomorrow?”
She beamed. “You could always bring the dogs if they’d be ok with me, but obviously you know what they’ll be ok with…”
He paused and seemed to think about it, but in the end he shook his head. “Mia might be alright, but the other two…” he shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Fair enough,” she shrugged. “You said they’re not really pets anyway.”
“No,” he said with a rasp to his voice.
“Hug before I go?” she asked, sensing that he wouldn’t offer even if he wanted it, and Gabe smiled and let her step into his arms. “Thank you for lunch,” she said against the soft green of his airtex top. The autumn nip to the air didn’t seem to faze him in the slightest, but even with her jacket on, she had begun to feel the chill on their slow stroll.
“Thank you for coffee and cupcakes,” he countered with a chuckle as she stepped back. “See you tomorrow.”
Walking back to the cabin after that felt like stepping on clouds.
“It’s like a dream,” she murmured to herself on the way up the gravel track to the house. It felt dangerously like it was meant to be, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
Masterlist- It's a Google doc. Sorry if mobile sucks!
How to Support Me:
Patreon- The best place to find me. You'll get stories before anyone else, discord server access, and more! Will be putting more focus into this in the future, so sign up to be a part of it.
Gumroad- buy collections of my stories to download for easy on the go reading.
Teepublic- Shirts, merch, and other things. Hoping to add more in the future.
Ko-fi & Paypal- my tip jars. Anything extra I receive helps a bunch!
Wishlist- if you feel like getting me a present, I won’t say no.
Other Places to Find Me:
Twitter- I’m there often, see lots of random ramblings, headcannons, and I try to do lots of Q&A’s. This is the best place now to find me.
Instagram- mostly for fun but I am trying to use it to reach a new audience
AO3- go laugh at all my old fanfic, updated when yelled at enough
Two hearts in pain recklessly found comfort in each other, but secrets can only live so long before someone spills them. But as they say; there’s no use in crying over spilt milk.
Content Warning: Widower!Steve x Divorced!Reader, Ex Husband!Bucky, Dead!Peggy, mention of divorce, forbidden romance, angst, hurt/comfort, arguing, physical violence, fluff.
SERIES MASTERLIST
Author’s Note: Here we are. The ending. It’s always bittersweet when one of my fics comes to its inevitable end. I’m so grateful for your endless support and sweetness, and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading ‘Reckless’ as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. For me, ‘Reckless’ is about the power of moving on and the beauty of selfishness in small doses. If this story is able to empower even just one of you to move on from a toxic situation or to stand up and prioritise yourself, then it has been more than worth the effort. Thank you for reading.
For the past two months, you’ve been tempted to reveal to Bucky the nature of your relationship with Steve. Every time you’ve seen him, it’s been on the tip of your tongue, aching to be set free. But now, as you sit opposite him with no objective other than to tell him the truth, you want nothing less.
“I’m thinking eggs and hash browns,” Bucky mumbles to himself as he scans the menu. “But those pancakes look so good.”
“You order the hash browns, and I’ll order the pancakes,” You suggest, not in the mood to eat at all. “Then you can have a bit of both.”
His eyes light up as he puts the menu down. “That’s the best idea you’ve had since you decided to keep the kids.”
Your hands play with the cutlery next to your plate as you do your best to distract yourself from what you came to do. How long do you wait before telling him? Before you order the food? While you’re eating? Do you shout it across the car park just before zooming away?
“What’s on your mind, honey?” Bucky asks you with a look of concern. “You okay?”
Nodding, you give him a smile. “Yeah. I’m good. Just thinking about those pancakes.”
He chuckles, a look of nostalgia growing on his features. “That reminds me of the pregnancy. All you ate was breakfast food.”
you and bucky have been best friends since you were kids, but ended up going to colleges thousands of miles apart. your student experience begins terribly, but bucky is having the time of his life - you can't let him know the truth. because if he did, you know he'd drop everything to come and save you.
content warning: frat!bucky x best friend!reader, idiots in love, angst, shitty friends, crying, reader has an older sister, slut shaming, fluff, soft!bucky, hurt/comfort.
"Hey, sunshine!"
You smile widely at the sight of Bucky's face on your phone, your heart immediately warming. "Hey, moonlight."
He's walking around his frat house, his eyes bright and his teeth on show as grins at you. "How's it going? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good," You lie, nestling against your pillow. "How about you?"
"I'm great," He answers, a frown growing on his face. "You still in bed?"
A laugh leaves your mouth as you shrug. "You know; student life. I was out late last night."
"Ahh, I see," Bucky says with a smirk. "So, how's Virginia Tech? Everything you ever dreamed about?"
"And more," You insist, sitting up. "It's great. How's UCLA?"
"Incredible," He replies instantly, entering the kitchen. "I didn't think I'd enjoy L.A as much as I am. You have got to come visit me one day."
"Oh, for sure," You promise.
Another voice off camera steals Bucky's attention before an unfamiliar face pops onto the screen. "Hey!" The blonde greets. "This must be the famous Y/N?"
"The one and only," You confirm with a laugh. "And you are?"
He gasps, dramatically placing his hand on his chest. "I can't believe he hasn't mentioned me to you yet. I'm Steve; Bucky's best friend when he isn't talking to you."
Bucky rolls his eyes, smiling nonetheless. "Alright, see you later, bud," He says before walking out of the kitchen and to his bedroom. He already gave you a tour of the house the day he moved in, so he jogs up the stairs while talking about the basketball practice he has later.
"I see you finally put the LED lights up," You comment when he enters his room.
"I did!" He says excitedly, flipping the camera to show you them. "You know how incredible sex is with these on?"
You snort, rolling your eyes. "Idiot."
I'm being serious: you've got to invest," He says gravely, turning the camera back onto him. "Maybe you and lover-boy can have some fun."
His words make you frown. "Lover-boy?"
"That guy you made out with on Saturday?" He asks, raising a brow. "You know, the one you met at the party?"
"I told you about that?" You ask, shocked at yourself.
"Of course you did," Bucky laughs. "You called me seconds after it happened."
"Oh, yeah," You mumble as the memory resurfaces. "He's definitely not my lover-boy."
"Why not?" He asks you with concern. "He do something wrong?"
"Nothing like that; I just haven't seen him again since that night," You say with a shrug. "Didn't get his number."
"Well, I'm sure you'll be drowning in dick by the end of the week," He jokes with a wink. "But no boyfriends, okay?"
"Why not?" You question him.
"Too much drama," He answers plainly. "The fuck am I supposed to do if someone breaks your heart and I'm two thousand miles away? As much as I'd like to think I can, I can't break someone's legs from that distance."
"I think you could," You say with a smile. "But, don't worry. I will remain single as long as possible."
"Good girl," Bucky grins, giving you a thumbs up.
"So, you're enjoying yourself?" You ask him, wanting to change the subject.
"It is incredible here, sunshine," He says with a grin. "The guys are hilarious. You'd love them."
"If you do, I'm sure I would," You agree sweetly.
Suddenly, he pouts and lies back on his bed. "I miss you."
Your heart breaks and you squeeze your eyes shut. "Don't, Buck, because I will cry."
"I'm sorry. I just miss you so bad," He whines, rubbing his forehead.
"It's so weird being here without you," You say, frowning. "I want you to be here."
"I want you to be here," He counters. "As much fun as I'm having, it feels like there's something missing."
You sniffle, shaking your head. "Okay, stop being sappy. Come on. We'll be fine."
"When will I see you next?" He asks with puppy-dog eyes.
"I don't know, moonlight," You say softly. "But we have to schedule something soon."
"For sure," He agrees, sitting up.
"Alright, I'll let you go prepare for basketball, now," You say, putting on a brave face. "Have fun, okay?"
"I will," Bucky replies, slightly frowning. "I love you, sunshine."
You grab a fistful of your blanket in an effort to stop the tears from falling. "I love you more, moonlight."
"See you soon," He promises.
"Bye," You whisper before quickly hanging up so he doesn't see you burst into tears.
The sobs rack through your body as you shake, hugging your knees to your chest. You didn't think college would be this lonely, but after the week you've had, you feel lower than ever.
With a shaky hand, you FaceTime your sister, needing her guidance.
"Hello?" She answers after three rings.
"Pia, help," You cry. "I hate college. And college hates me."
"Oh, my God, what happened?" She asks, her face filled with concern.
"It's my roommates," You say, lowering your voice just in case they walk past your room. "You know how I told you about that guy I made out with on the first night?"
"Yeah," Pia says, frowning. "What about him?"
"Turns out, he's one of my roommates' ex," You reveal. "They told me about him before, but how was I supposed to know that the white guy with brown hair I was talking to was the same white guy with brown hair that was her ex?"
"Oh, no," Pia mumbles. "Well, that wasn't your fault."
"They don't seem to think so," You mutter. "They screamed at me the morning after, and now they're giving me the silent treatment."
"Then they're incredibly immature," She says with a frown. "And bitchy as hell."
"I can't even go into the kitchen because they're always there," You complain, rubbing your forehead.
"How do you eat?" She asks you with furrowed brows. "You need to eat, Y/N!"
"I am; I have snacks in my room," You promise her. "And I go and cook at night, when they're gone."
"You shouldn't have to live like that in your own apartment," She says sternly.
"It's too awkward to be in the same room as them; I hate it," You whine. "They whisper and I know they're talking about me. It's fine, it's just annoying. And I haven't even made any friends on my course yet, and just- college is really not for me."
"Have you told Bucky?" Pia questions you.
"No, I can't," You insist with a sigh. "He's literally having the best time ever at UCLA. He's got new friends and a healthy sex life and he's obviously doing great in every single class. I don't want to kill his vibe and make him worry about me. You know what he's like; the second he finds out something's wrong, he'll get on the next flight to Virginia."
Pia lets out a long sigh, shaking her head. "You can't live like this."
"It's fine," You say firmly. "There's just a bit of awkwardness with my roommates, and once everyone calms down, it'll be fine. I'll be fine."
"You sure?" She asks you with a raised brow.
You nod, plastering on a fake smile. "I'm sure, P."
"Ugh, here she comes," Freya mutters under her breath when you enter the kitchen.
You inwardly sigh, regretting coming in. It's been a full week since you kissed her ex, and the worst part is that he wasn't even that good of a kisser.
Something propels you to speak up. You're sick of their bitter comments. "Are we really gonna be like this for the rest of the year?" You ask, taking the three of them by surprise.
Clarity raises a brow. "Excuse you?"
You roll your eyes. "I'm sick of you guys being so immature. Yes, I kissed him- big fucking deal! He's Freya's ex, not her boyfriend."
"You still broke the code," Freya says with a glare, slowly walking over to you. "Do you know how much it hurt me to see that?"
Feeling bad, you glance down. "I'm sorry that it hurt you, but it wasn't my fault-"
"Who else's was it?" She suddenly yells. "You fucking slut; you probably sought him out on purpose just to spite me!"
"Why would I do that?" You ask her incredulously.
"Because you're jealous of her, maybe?" Sandra pipes up, holding back her smirk in an effort to hide how hard she's getting off on this.
"You should speak to reception about changing floors," Freya suggests arrogantly. "Because I do not want you living here anymore. The girls agree with me: we want you gone by tonight."
Without saying a word, you spin on your heels and storm out of the kitchen and back into your bedroom where you quickly begin packing up all your shit.
Fuck them. You're glad to be leaving. Nothing could be worse than living with them.
Three days after the girls kick you out, you realize that things could be absolutely worse than living with them.
Because you needed accommodation right away, you were put in a dingy dorm apartment with four guys. They don't clean up after themselves in the kitchen, they play loud music until 4am, and frankly, they terrify you.
It's horrible.
You almost want to drop out of college altogether, but you can't disappoint your family like that. You've sent a text message to Pia explaining the situation, though you left out the part about the scary roommates because you don't want her to be concerned. As far as she knows, you've been moved into a dorm with a few messy students and nothing more.
How did life get like this?
With college absolutely kicking your ass, you break down. You're on your way home from the library with tears streaming down your face, wondering what you did to deserve this. You don't even want to go back to your apartment; it's probably safer to just walk around campus all night.
When you get to your apartment building, you look down to pull out your keys when you suddenly feel an hand on your shoulder.
Oh, God. This is it. You're dying tonight.
"Hey, sunshine," His familiar voice rings out.
Your eyes widen and you gasp, turning to face him. "Bucky?" The sight of him almost makes you burst into tears then and there.
He grins widely, pulling you in for a tight hug. "Hey, cutie."
Unable to hold back, you sob into his shoulder, holding him as though you're afraid he'll run off. You don't know why or how he's here, but it doesn't matter because he's fucking here. "Oh, my God," You cry through uneven, heavy breaths. "I can't believe you're here right now. What the fuck?"
"I'm here, baby, I'm here," Bucky coos, rocking you gently from side to side. "I'm here."
Hicupping, you catch your breath and pull back, looking up at him. "What are you doing here, Buck?"
He cups your face, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. A look of concern fills his features and he frowns. "I spoke to Pia."
"That little shit," You curse, grabbing fistfuls of his hoodie. "I told her not to tell you."
"And why didn't you tell me?" He asks you sternly. "Why didn't you tell me, Y/N?"
"I couldn't," You insist, shaking your head. "You were having fun in L.A. and I didn't wanna ruin that. I just needed to sort my shit out-"
"And now you're living with a bunch of guys?" He questions you with that angry look on his face you haven't seen in so long. "I spoke to the receptionist-"
"Isn't that information confidential?" You wonder out loud, rubbing your eyes.
"Not when you're as handsome as me," He says with a shrug, before his face drops again. "Seriously though, Y/N. I can't believe you didn't tell me."
"It's fine," You whisper, not even believing it yourself.
"Come here," Bucky mumbles, pulling you back into his chest. "I'm your best friend. I'm the one you tell everything. I'm the one who saves you."
"Why would you come all this way?" You whine, feeling guilty.
"To save you," He says with a cocky smirk, pulling back and looking down at you. "I'm moving you to a new building."
"Bucky, no," You shake your head. "I literally just moved; I can't go through that process again."
"You won't be alone this time," He promises you. "I pulled a few strings. You know Steve?"
"From your frat?" You ask with a raised brow.
"That's the one. His mom owns a ton of property here," Bucky tells you. "She agreed to let you lease out an apartment for a fraction of the price."
"Bucky, what?" You question him, gobsmacked.
"I'm gonna help you move your things," He goes on to say. "No more shitty student dorms for you. My best girl deserves luxury, alright?"
You're in disbelief, wondering if this a dream and really hoping it isn't. "You're insane," You breathe out, clutching onto his arm. "I mean, seriously. You flew out how many miles for me?"
"Two thousand, five hundred and sixty-nine," He answers you proudly. "And it's worth every mile to make you happy."
"You're an angel," You mumble, cupping his face. "You cannot be a real human."
"Maybe I am," Bucky shrugs, leaning down to kiss your cheek. "I love you, sunshine. I'd fly a million miles to keep you safe, you know that. You mean more to me than anything."
You pout, feeling bad that he came all this way for you. "Are you missing classes?"
"Yep," He replies. "But, somehow, the world continues to turn."
"I love you, too," You say, smiling up at him. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."
"You're the bestest, prettiest, most incredible person a guy could ask for," Bucky responds sweetly, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Did I mention prettiest?"
"No, you're the prettiest," You reply childishly.
"No, you," He insists, kissing your nose. "Now, come on. I'm gonna help you move your stuff, and then we're ordering pizza because I am starving."
Bucky takes your hand and pulls you into the building while your heart swells with love for him. What would you ever do without him?
yo let me know if u want part 2
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Summary: Y/n is heavily pregnant, 7 months to be exact, her confidence is low and she can’t tie her shoes, she’s allowed to have a meltdown, right? a part of the evans’ series.
Pairings: pregnant!Y/n Evans x Chris Evans
Warnings: pregnancy mood swings, swearing and attentive chris
a/n: sorry this hasn’t been updated recently, I’ve been stuck in a slump with this series but I found some inspiration I didn’t know I had
“Just-” Y/n huffed out a breath of air as she tried reaching down to tie her shoes. “Fuck!” It was like they were laughing at her, so close but so far away, thanks to the swollen belly stopping her. Chris wasn’t home, he had nipped out to see Scott for an hour or two and Y/n really wanted to get out of the house and walk Dodger for an hour or two.
7 months, 7 long fucking months of being pregnant.
The stress of their recent move, the last few boxes still dotted around the house and unfinished nursery had Y/n reaching the point of no return, the stress getting to her. With her arrival fast approaching they made quick work of buying their new home in Boston and even though Chris didn’t allow her to lift a finger, both of their families helping where they could, the still unpacked house was getting on her nerves.
Y/n loved being pregnant, but as the months were getting on her back was permanently aching, the constant need to pee, not being able to eat some of her favourite foods without wanting to vomit or not being able to fit behind the steering wheel of her car anymore, she was losing the will to live, especially as a rare heatwave hit Boston. She found herself seated permanently under the cooling spots of their AC, bouncing on that damn pregnancy ball.
The thought of two more months of this made her want to cry.
Note: I had a lot of plot planned for this part but it ended up being straight-up porn. Oops?
The thing about carrying a burdening secret is that it comes with a strong need to unload it. There's a certain beauty to a friendship between women where secrets can be coaxed out with a simple glance. It feels safe to open up; to share the most intimate details of your life with someone you trust. Someone who yes, may judge you, but will always be able to give you a secret of their own in return which you'll judge just as much.
Plainly, they label it as idle gossip, but you can't deny that it makes you feel alive.
"I'm fucking someone who I really shouldn't be fucking," You admit aloud, physically feeling the weight lift up off your shoulders.
Shuri's eyes widen and she puts down the stack of paperwork onto your desk. "Oh, God. You're not talking about Bucky, are you?"
You let out a scoff, offended. "Of course not!"
"Don't give me that tone; I never know what crazy shit you'll come out with next," She defends herself, before sitting down opposite you. "So, who is it?"
Leaning back in your chair, you twirl around from side to side absentmindedly. Telling her makes it real. It opens up the secret to one more person, meaning it won't belong to just you and Steve anymore.
"I don't want to tell you," You say with a sigh. "But I just wanted to let you know."
"You can't do that!" She exclaims, glaring at you. "Dangling the carrot only to pull it back last second. You monster."
"I'm sorry, Shuri, but there's something exciting about it being our little secret," You do your best to explain bashfully.
"So, what makes it bad that you're fucking him?" She asks with a raised brow. "It's all... legal, right?"
"Oh, my God, of course it is," You say immediately. "He's a consenting adult, and we aren't blood-related, or otherwise related, for that matter. And it isn't Mr. Stark, so there's no weird boss-employee power play involved. It's legally sound."
"Why shouldn't you be fucking him, then?" She asks, before her face drops. "Please don't tell me he's in a relationship- or worse, married."
Your mouth drops as you place your hand on your chest, utterly taken aback. "I almost died from how badly it hurt to see Bucky dating before the divorce was fully finalized; you think I'd do that to someone else?"
She lets out a long sigh. "Will you just tell me what's so bad about you being with this guy? If he's single, consenting, and not Mr. Stark, then what's the matter?"
Contemplating whether or not to just come out with it, you tap the arm of your chair. "Okay. I'll tell you one more detail: he may or may not be one of Bucky's close friends."
Immediately, she winces and recoils backwards. "Yeesh. That is very, very awkward."
"Yeah, I know," You mumble, rubbing your forehead. "Am I being an idiot?"
She shrugs. "Do you like him?"
You think about it. Do you like Steve? Fuck, what's not to like? He's kind, soft and patient. Not to mention you think he might definitely be the best looking human being you've ever come across. And, most importantly of all, "He makes me cum," You state matter-of-factly. "I mean, he's easily the best sex I've ever had."
Shuri narrows her eyes at you. "You didn't answer my question."
"Look; coming across a man who cares about my sexual satisfaction is incredibly rare," You say firmly, before slumping down in your seat. "And I also have these disgusting, mushy feelings for him."
She cheers and claps her hands together, before her face drops. "I guess I'm supposed to be the sensible voice of reason here. Is that what you need me to be?"
You sit up with a defeated look on your face. "I honestly don't think there is anything you could say that could make me stop wanting him."
"Woah," Shuri mumbles, standing up. "Well, that settles it. You're gonna keep doing whatever you want with whichever one of Bucky's friends you're sleeping with, and I'll just be here to... cheer you on?"
Content, you smile. "That sounds perfect."
She grins back at you. "Great. See you later, whore!"
Once she's gone, you relax in your chair, replaying the conversation in your head just in case there were any points you forgot to process. It makes you feel immature to admit that you like Steve as more than a friend, but you don't particularly care. He makes you feel good about yourself, and confident, and sexy. He reminds you of how fun and electric living can be.
About a half-hour later, your assistant buzzes through to let you know you have a visitor. Assuming it's someone from the Budgeting team downstairs, you tell her to let them in without asking who they are.
The door opens and it sure as all hell ain't Tim from Budgeting.
"Steve?" You say in disbelief, standing up. "What are you doing here?"
His oversized, snakeskin leather jacket makes him look like a Hollywood actor from the 60s, but the gold chain and rings keep him planted in the 80s. Closing the door behind him, he walks further in, looking around your office. "Nice place you got here, baby. I wasn't expecting to have to go through two receptionists and an assistant just to get to you. Is it weird that I found that hot?"
Still baffled that he's standing in your actual office right now, you walk around your desk and sit on the edge of it. "No weirder than me finding that jacket hot."
He shoots you a wink, strolling over and placing his hands on your hips. Yours trail under his jacket and to his back as you hug him closer to you.
"You smell so good," You whisper, taking in the scent of lavender and citrus.
Steve moves his head lower before meeting you in a sweet kiss, pulling out an uncontrollable whimper from your throat when he squeezes your waist. He pulls back from the kiss a few moments later and reaches into his pocket. "Here," He mutters, holding a silver key out to you.
Is this fucker giving you a key to his place?
"What is it?" You ask, terrified.
"Your house key," Steve explains nonchalantly. "The one Bucky had. Figured you'd want it back; stop him from showing up uninvited."
It's a small gesture, but it means more to you than anything else would in this moment. You didn't think you could be any more attracted to him, but he loves proving you wrong.
Taking the key, you place it on the desk, keeping your eyes locked on his. You kiss him again without waiting a single second, smiling into it when you feel him hug you against his body. "Thank you," You mumble, stroking his beard.
He runs his fingers up and down your sides, making you shiver. "I have to say; I didn't expect you to be wearing such a sexy little dress at work."
Snorting, you lightly push his shoulder. "I'm something of a fashion icon at Stark Industries. I have to look good; the others look up to me, you know?" Also, it's Casual Friday, but you elect to leave that little detail out.
Steve smirks down at you, wrapping his arms around you. "I'm a little jealous of your coworkers who get to stare at you all day. How do they get any work done?"
"They don't," You play along, resting your hands on his shoulders. "The company's actually been operating on a loss for years. It's a big problem."
"Mhm," He mumbles, lowering his hands to the hem of your dress. You can tell he's no longer interested in continuing the joke when his darkening eyes rake over your body and his fingers slowly slide your tight dress higher up your legs.
"What are you doing, Mr. Rogers?" You ask with a whisper, feeling a little jolt when he lifts you up and sits you down on the desk before continuing to roll up your dress.
"It's a little too long for my liking," He tells you casually, bunching it around your waist. "There we go. Much better." His hand slips in between your thighs, making you freeze.
"And- and if my assistant forgets how to knock?" You ask him with a raised brow, tightly clutching his bicep.
"Let her come in," Steve says with a calm confidence, rubbing the side of his finger against your clothed pussy before lowering his voice, keeping his eyes hooked onto yours. "All she'll see is a man enjoying his lunch."
Without warning, he drops to his knees, spreading your legs apart. You have no time to react before he's pushing your panties to the side and latching his mouth onto your wet cunt. Ardently, his tongue laps at your folds, sending warm shots of pleasure through your body. You feel tingles travelling up and down your legs, making your toes curl in your heels.
"Oh, Steve," You cry out, throwing your head back. Heather's desk isn't very far from your office at all, but in this moment, you don't care if she hears you. If anything, you want her to hear you - it feels fucking good to have a man like Steve treating you like a queen, and you want to show it off.
His blue eyes flutter open and he looks up to watch your face contort. You can tell that his ego is feeding off of your pleasure; he's getting off to the fact that he's getting you off. His servitude is only adding to how great you feel, as you're not used to having such a generous lover.
Steve's big hands are restless, unable to decide on whether to grope your tits or squeeze your hips or feel up your ass. They go with all three, showing your body just how attracted he is to every inch of you, one part at a time.
"Taste so fucking good, baby," He groans against your pussy, sending vibrations through you. "Just like I knew you would."
Your hands tangle through his hair and pull on the roots before you shove his face back where it belongs between your thighs. He shakes his head from side to side, tonguing your clit and sucking on it with fervent desperation. "Keep going," You beg him, letting out weak whimpers. "Please, Steven, make me cum."
He feels his cock throbbing, but this isn't about him. Eating you out is more than enough stimulation as his hips absentmindedly thrust forward, making his dick rub against the inside of his pants. He almost cums from the simple sensation but keeps himself calm and steady, focusing on you.
As he continues sucking your clit, you feel your orgasm rush to the surface. Your pleasure heightens until holding it back is no longer an option- and Steve can sense that.
"Cum for me, baby," He demands gruffly, rubbing your nipples through your dress. "Be a good girl and cum all over my face."
When he brings his tongue back to your pussy, it takes mere seconds for you to let go. It hits you like a sudden gust of wind, stealing your breath as you cum, hard. His name flies from your mouth like a bird, loud and free.
Steve continues lapping at your cunt, addicted to your juices. When it all gets too much, you place a palm on his forehead and try to push his face away, but he doesn't let up. He growls and carries on devouring you as though you're his prey; merciless and predatory.
"Please, Steve," You cry, feeling weak. "I can't take anymore."
But he knows better. You only think you can't because you've never been pushed to - and he'd be damned if he doesn't get at least one more out of you. Brutishly, he sucks on your sensitive, throbbing clit, rolling his eyes back at how sweet you are. Your cunt pulses against his chin, and your efforts to pull him by the hair only rile him up even more.
After your first orgasm, your second comes even quicker. You're letting out pathetic whimpers as he drives you crazy with blinding pleasure, forcing you to cum again. Your cunt clenches and throbs as he licks at you through your high, helping it last as long as possible.
Feeling gracious, Steve finally pulls back, breathing heavily. In your weakened daze, you lie back on the desk, trying to catch your breath.
He stands up and places a hand on your face, but you swat it away. "Don't touch me," You breathe out, overly sensitive to even the softest of stimulants. "Just- just give me a second."
Steve chuckles at your overwhelm, patiently allowing you the time and space to regroup and collect yourself. Your eyes shut and you rest for a few minutes, waiting until your legs stop shaking before looking up at the ceiling.
Turning your head, you see Steve sitting in your chair and looking out at the New York skyline.
"Does it make you feel powerful?" You ask once you find your voice. "Sitting in my big chair?"
He laughs before slowly spinning back around, giving you a shrug. "Sure beats the view I get at the gym."
Slowly, you sit up, rolling your dress back down before letting him pull you onto his lap. "You, my friend, are a man of a calibre I've never before witnessed," You tell him, patting his cheek.
Raising a brow, he gives you a smirk. "That good?"
"That good," You insist, shooting him a wink.
Steve smiles and kisses your cheek, which turns into a series of kisses up and down your face. Holding you closer to his chest, his hand absentmindedly strokes your bare arm. "I didn't just come to drop off the key."
You snort, "Yeah, no kidding."
"I didn't come for that either," He claims. "Though it was incredible, it wasn't exactly premeditated."
"So what are you here for, Mister?" You ask him, curious.
Steve cups your cheek, cradling you in his arms. "I'm going out of town for the weekend. You know how my great aunt Cecilia passed away a few months ago?"
You nod, recalling that Blake had mentioned something about Bucky going to the funeral with him.
"Well, she had some land in a small town a few hours away," He explains. "Nothing special. Tiny little farm. She left it to me in her will, and so I'm selling it to the farmer next door. There are a few papers I need to sign, so I figured I'd go down in person; say goodbye to the farm."
"Right," You say, slowly nodding your head.
"I thought I'd come see you before heading off, just so you don't forget me while I'm gone for the weekend," He says with a small smile, before tightening his grip on your thigh. "But now, in all honesty, I've changed my mind."
You frown at his words. "What do you mean?"
He blinks at you, stroking your leg. "Come with me."
There's no need for a convincing speech, or a long monologue begging you to say yes. He doesn't even need to say please. Although a part of you hates it, you'd bend to his every will, as though there's some inexplicable force telling you that if you can trust anyone, it's Steve goddamn Rogers.
"Okay," You reply, holding onto his arm.
Your acceptance lights him up. "Perfect," Steve whispers, before sitting up. "What time do you get off work?"
"We can go right now," You state, getting up onto your feet.
"You sure?" He asks, getting up and checking his watch. "It's barely even 2pm."
"And I'm the CFO; I can do what I want," You boldly claim, taking the key he brought over and putting it into your purse.
"From what I hear, Stark's a hard-ass," Steve tells you, raising a brow.
You give him a proud grin. "He's a softie when it comes to me."
"Yeah, I don't doubt it," He mumbles under his breath, watching you collect your phone and other small necessities before stuffing them into your purse, too.
Once you're ready to go, you leave your office with Steve hot on your trails. You tell Heather you're leaving early and not to bother you for the rest of the weekend, before striding towards the exit feeling like you own the damn place.
On your way out, you pass Shuri's glass-front office. She's on the phone to someone, but when she sees you and Steve walking out together, her jaw drops and her eyes widen. You can't help but smirk at her reaction, subtly bringing your finger up to your lips before swiftly exiting. Yes, you wanted to keep it a secret, but you know that after the unspeakable things he just did to you in your office, there was no way you wouldn't have spilled your guts to her soon, anyway.
When you finally get to the elevator, you feel as though you can breathe out all the pressure and finally relax.
"You okay?" Steve asks as you rest your head back against the mirror, rubbing the back of your hand comfortingly.
You give him a smile, feeling a new spring in your step. "I'm absolutely perfect."
Ever since you were a young girl, you've had no self-control when it comes to the boys you like. In middle school, Tyler Tippett was your very first crush. He was a complete bully to other kids, but he once made you laugh which was enough for you to overlook how cruelly he treated your classmates. He even made your best friend cry after saying something along the lines of, 'Your mom gives you pigtails because you're a pig,' but you still kissed him behind the bleachers after he complimented your soccer skills.
You didn't learn any self-control once you got to high school, either. Maybe that was why you had sex with Bucky in the the back of his car that fateful night, after he claimed that doing it just one time without a condom wouldn't be so bad.
And now here you are, 21 years later, sitting in the passenger side of his best friend's ride, looking past the fact that the only music Steve has in his car is 80s synth-pop.
"Look; they came with the car," He claims as you flick through the CDs.
"Oh, sure," You drag out in disbelief. "Your 2021 Porsche, straight from the factory, just came with a bunch of 80s synth-pop."
He keeps his eyes on the road as he drives, letting out a sigh before bashfully mumbling, "It gets me in the mood to work out, alright?"
You roll your eyes, putting the CDs back into the glovebox and sighing. "You're lucky I like you as much as I do, Rogers."
"Is that right?" He asks teasingly. "I'm the lucky one here?"
A scoff leaves your mouth as you turn to face him. "You think I'm the lucky one?"
Steve shrugs, a sly smirk on his lips. "I don't know; who's the one who just came twice in two minutes?"
"And who's the one who was just given the privilege of going down on me?" You retort playfully.
He chuckles while you decide to give in and put in one of the damn CDs. The music is a little upbeat and funky for your taste, but you can jam to it. Knowing that Steve enjoys it definitely helps, and you can imagine him working out while the sounds of a synthesiser keyboard and a shitty drumbeat motivate him.
You turn your head to look at him, taking in the gorgeous view. His leather jacket has been ditched, leaving him in a tight black t-shirt and black jeans. His hair's a little messy from the way you were pulling it earlier, the reminder making your core stir. Without any hesitation, you use the scrunchie around your wrist to tie your hair back, getting it out of your face. Glad that he drives an automatic, you lean over the console, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
"What was that for, pretty girl?" He asks softly, his eyes on the road.
"Felt like it," You whisper back as your hand trails down his big arm.
"Taking advantage of the fact that I'm driving and can't stop you from feeling me up?" Steve questions you with a smirk.
Completely overtaken by your desire, you bring your lips to his ear. "I wanna suck your cock."
His breath hitches in his throat as he comes to a red light, stopping the car and giving you a glance. "Baby, I'm driving."
"So?" You ask with a deviant smile, lowering your hand to his crotch and rubbing his boner. He's been hard since the minute he saw you in your office, so he can't find the strength or will to do the sensible thing and tell you to stop.
"Oh, fuck," He breathes as you fumble with his belt buckle and pull down his zipper. "Baby-"
"Just relax," You tell him softly, kissing the corner of his mouth before lowering your head to his lap. Steve lifts up his arm before resting it on your back, looking down at you as you take his thick cock out of his pants and rub it.
The traffic light turns green just as you wrap your mouth around the tip, and Steve jolts before driving faster than before. It takes a few attempts, but once you're used to feeling his intrusion, you're able to take his entire length in your throat. He strokes your hair, helping you bob up and down while letting out delicious little groans.
"Fuck, baby, you were right," Steve says, making you look up at him as he winks down at you. "I'm the lucky one."
You giggle around his cock, sending vibrations through his shaft and making him groan louder. Your hand rubs his balls and his dick flexes in your throat, making you gag. The synth-pop doesn't do much to add to the sexual atmosphere, but it surprisingly doesn't detract from it, either. It makes you feel like you're fooling around in a private booth at an old-school disco, away from the dancing strangers.
Steve turns your face to the side so he can watch as you suck him off, making sure to keep glancing back up to the road every few seconds. You smile up at him, drool and pre-cum coating your chin and cheeks while your mascara is smudged under your eyes, and he doesn't think you've ever looked prettier.
You rub your tongue against the thick vein on the underside of his shaft, squeezing harder on his balls. Steve's hips buck up and he pulls on your hair, utter rapture on his face. "Gonna make me cum, baby," He warns you. "Are you gonna be a good girl and swallow it all?"
A moan is your response as you quicken your pace, determined to taste his seed. And, as promised, his cock twitches incessantly as his cum spurts out into your throat, making you choke. You do well to swallow every drop, keeping your tear-filled eyes on his as you suck him through his orgasm. He lets out a grunt, shuddering, mumbling praise. "So good for me, baby," He whispers weakly. "Such a good girl for me."
You pull your mouth off him once he's spent, gently putting his cock back into his boxers before zipping up his pants. Bringing your face up to his, you give him an accomplished grin.
"Missed a spot," He whispers, using his thumb to rub off a drop of cum from your chin. "Messy baby."
Parting your lips, you let him slide his thumb into your mouth and suck it clean. You turn around and rest your head on his lap, looking up at him while he gently strokes your face, letting you stay there while he drives.
A part of you wishes you could stay like this forever. Permanently driving somewhere far away, melting under his soft, soothing touch. Cheesy 80s music that's slowly growing on you, and your full trust placed in Steve, no fear tainting your feelings even when he drives a little too fast.
But there's another part of you that knows why it can't always be like this. The both of you have responsibilities and lives to live outside of each other. And there's a Bucky-shaped hurdle you aren't sure you're ready to jump over.
PART 4
hi! i no longer use a taglist, but if you follow @kinanabinksupdates and turn on notifications, you'll know when i update 🥰
What's the meaning of insanity? Committing the same sin twice and expecting to be forgiven for it.
Warning: Widower!Steve x Divorced!Reader, Ex Husband!Bucky, Dead!Peggy, mature themes, angst, forbidden love, smut (kissing, penetrative sex, quickie, soft dom!steve), brief mention of childbirth, comfort, fluff.
Words are a great distraction from your feelings. Especially so when they're coming out of somebody else's mouth. You find comfort in knowing that your life isn't the most fucked-up in the world, which is why you've been binge-listening to podcasts. Mostly women talking about their messy relationships and sex lives, just so you don't feel so alone in your own mess.
A month has passed since Bucky's wedding. You left Steve the morning after before he could wake up, afraid he'd verbalize his guilt or regret. If you heard the words, 'Last night was a mistake,' or 'Let's just pretend that never happened,' you aren't sure your fragile heart could take it.
So instead, you avoided him. It's been easy enough. Your paths only ever cross at family events, and thankfully there haven't been any since the wedding.
It's a bleak Sunday and you're waiting for Bucky to arrive while trying to put together a bookcase. Blake left some important papers at his house, and she's currently at college in D.C. You were planning on taking a trip down to visit her, anyway, so Bucky's giving you the papers to take to her.
You haven't told him about what you and Steve did, and you aren't planning on it. The best thing for everyone is to act like it didn't happen, and you hope that Steve has the sense to do the same.
When you hear three knocks at your door, you press pause on the podcast and rush to the mirror. Yes, he's your ex husband, and yes, he just got married to someone else, but you can't help but want him to think that you're doing absolutely fine. And maybe a tiny, vain part of you secretly wants him to still be attracted to you. Not because you want him back, but just because it'd make you feel good.
You open the door once you're happy with your appearance, ready to give him a casual smile to show him that you're just as happy as he is, but when you see who it is, your heart skips a beat.
"Steven Rogers," You breathe out bluntly, your face dropping.
The use of his full name makes him chuckle as he raises a brow. "Y/N Y/L/N. Hey, there."
"What are you doing here?" You ask, frowning. Bucky could be here any second, and what the fuck are you gonna say when he sees Steve on your doorstep?
He holds up the papers in his hands. "Buck was a little busy with work, so he asked me to drop these off to you."
Your heartbeat calms down, but you're still nervous to be seeing him. "Oh. Okay."
Giving you a tight-lipped smile, he hands the papers to you. "Here you go."
Fuck. This is awkward. Is he really going to act like that night didn't happen? Sure, that's what you thought you wanted- but now it just feels shitty, and you feel even lonelier than ever.
"Thanks," You mutter, holding the papers to your chest. Your eyes meet his just as an awkward silence sits between you. God, this is bad.
"It's nice to see you," Steve says after a few moments, looking you up and down. "How you been?"
Swallowing, you shrug. "Okay. You?"
You can tell it pains him to be making such boring small talk, but he does well to push through it. "Yeah, I've been good," He says with a nod, burying his hands in his coat pocket while staring at his feet, seemingly contemplating something. Looking back up at you, he gives you another smile. "Well, I should go."
You meet his eyes, nodding weakly. "Okay."
Slowly, and achingly, you close the door, going against every fibre in your body that's screaming at you to beg him to stay. When the door clicks shut, you let out a shaky breath, doing your best to compose yourself.
You're a grown woman. A mother. Be mature, for once in your messy life. It was just sex. A one-time thing. Get your shit toge-
Knock, knock, knock.
It's quicker and harder this time. There's a sense of urgency behind it. You open the door, equal parts nervous and excited and absolutely fucking terrified, and there he stands.
"I'm sorry," Steve says with his hands on his hips as his brows furrow together. "But I haven't stopped thinking of you since that night."
Was this what you wanted? It feels good to know that you've been on his mind as much as he has yours. But you also know how wrong it is.
"Steve," You begin, but he takes your hand before you can continue.
"I don't care who it affects," He admits, shaking his head. "I don't care how selfish or reckless we're being. That night, I felt alive for the first time in a long, long time. And that was because of you."
"It was because we were doing something wrong," You insist gravely. "You got an adrenaline rush from breaking the rules. That night wasn't about me."
"That isn't true," He insists, stepping forward. "You don't think I've tried moving on before? It feels cold and empty, like a shitty tribute to what sex should be. But with you... you take me somewhere warm and safe. And I won't let you deny that I make you feel the same way."
He's right. And who are you to lie right to his face?
Before you get the chance to reply, he pushes forward and takes the papers from you, tossing them to the floor before grabbing your waist and pulling you into him. In seconds, his lips are on yours in a desperate kiss. He kicks the door shut behind him and lifts your legs up and around his waist. While your tongues dance, Steve lowers you to the floor, roughly setting you down on your back as his hands roam over your body.
He wastes no time. Like a junkie in need of a hit, he doesn't bother with taking off any clothing, pulling down your shorts and unzipping his jeans. "Been dreaming of your body," He grumbles, grinding against you. "Craving you so badly."
A moan rings out of your mouth at his words, and he takes it as his signal to go. Pulling out his hard cock, he brings it to your soaking cunt, burying it til he bottoms out.
There's nothing soft or slow about it this time - no longer are you timidly exploring one another's bodies for the first time like virgins. This is rough and rushed, like addicts desperately chasing their high. Now that you've had a taste of heaven, you can no longer exercise patience or care - Steve pounds in and out of you like a brutish animal, growling against your neck as his cock pulses against your tight walls.
You cry out weakly, barely even breathing properly as he drenches you in white-hot pleasure. Your hands find their way into his hair, tugging at it and sending shivers down his back.
He fucks you harder against the floor and you know your back will hate you for this tomorrow morning, but you don't care. Any soreness is worth the utter rapture he's serving you with, no matter how temporary it is.
"So good," Steve groans, cupping your cheek in his hand. "Such a good girl for me."
His praise lights you up. You haven't felt sexually fulfilled in a long time, and it seems like Steve knows all the right buttons to press. He feeds your body as though he himself wrote the recipe, each and every inch of your skin knowing nothing but pleasure.
He latches his mouth back onto yours, kissing you deeply as he fucks you faster. The sound of skin on skin fills the foyer, echoing against the walls. "Does that feel good?" He asks you, cupping your face. "Does my cock feel good inside you, baby?"
"Yes, Steve," You whine, bucking your hips up.
"Fuck, baby, you look so sweet under me like this," He says with a soft smile, pinning your hands to the floor. "You like being a good girl for me? You like taking my cock?"
A loud moan that sounds vaguely like his name is all you can muster up in response as his cock hits your g-spot, over and over. You drown in the feeling until your orgasm makes its way to the surface, making your legs shake.
"Gonna cum," You cry out, arching your back up. "Cumming, Steve, cumming."
He groans as your cunt tightens around him, milking him of his seed as he shoots his cum inside you. Grunting, he slams into you a few more times as each of you fly through your highs. Once he lets go of your wrists, you immediately wrap your arms around him, breathing heavily under him.
After a few blissful moments of pure peace, he rolls off of you, lying on the ground next to you. You each stare up at the ceiling in silence, arms touching.
"Steve?" You ask, turning your head to face him.
He turns to you, stroking your nose with the back of his index finger. "Yes?"
You slowly blink up at him. "Are you any good at DIY?"
As it turns out, Steve is very good at DIY. He helps you build the bookcase in just an hour, when it would've taken you at least three weekends.
"And so I'm thinking of using the money to build up a kid's section at the gym," He tells you over coffee and biscotti. "I've already had a few parents that are interested in signing their kids up."
"That sounds incredible," You say, smiling at him. "You've always been great with kids. You were so good with the twins."
He bashfully shrugs, his cheeks tinging pink. "It'd be nice to see kids getting into boxing, you know? Learn how to properly beat the shit out of each other."
Before you can get the chance to laugh, you freeze at the sound of the front door being unlocked. "Who the fuck is that?" You wonder out loud, getting up to your feet as the sound of the door opening and closing sounds out.
After a few seconds pass, none other than Bucky himself appears in the doorway with a bright smile on his face.
"What the fuck?" You ask incredulously, throwing up your hands. "You can't just walk into my house!"
He shrugs nonchalantly. "Blake gave me the key when she moved to college." Then, he gives Steve a glance. "Oh. Hey, Steve. You're still here?"
Steve lifts up a biscotto in greeting. "I helped Y/N build a bookcase."
Realization overtakes his features and he nods. "Right."
"What the fuck?" You sputter, still dumbfounded. "You can't just walk in without knocking- what if I was in a private situation?"
Bucky ignores your scolding and holds up a tupperware box. "I brought brownies. Kaya made them especially for G. I was thinking you could drop them off to him at Raleigh on your way to D.C.?"
Sighing, you take the box from him. While you hate that his step-mother is baking for him now, it'd be nice to visit Grant, too.
"Also," Bucky drags out, making you roll your eyes. "It's our babies' 21st soon. We need to plan something better than their annoying friends will."
You frown, putting the box onto the kitchen counter. "Why? Just let them celebrate with their friends."
Bucky walks further into your kitchen, shaking his head. "See? This is why I was the first to remarry- you have no family values."
"Buck," Steve mutters in a warning tone.
"Fuck you!" You exclaim, glaring at him. "You're a prick, you know that?"
"I'm kidding," Bucky insists, holding his hands up in surrender, before smiling excitedly. "Also, Kaya wants to have a big family dinner. Me and her, the kids, you, and bring that Graham guy you're seeing."
"His name is Greg, and he is just my coworker," You say through gritted teeth. "Also, no, thank you."
His face falls. "Why not?"
"Because I don't want to," You explain, folding your arms across your chest. The idea of playing fifth wheel while Kaya plays the part of your infuriatingly perfect replacement doesn't exactly sound inviting.
"Oh, come on," He says stubbornly. "It'll be nice for the kids to see us all being civil together. Healthy."
You think over his words. Truthfully, you're afraid you'll push the kids away unless you show them you're absolutely fine with them having a step-mother. With a sigh, you look away from him. "Only if I can bring Steve with me." You shoot him a look and he keeps his face straight.
Bucky frowns, resting his hands on his hips. "It needs to be a date, Y/N. I want the kids to see that you've moved on."
"Well, I haven't!" You suddenly blurt out uncontrollably. A beat of tense silence passes by before you quickly continue. "I haven't... haven't got anyone to bring with me as a date. So, you and Kaya and the kids can have your nice dinner without me; it's not like I'm part of your family anymore, anyway."
"Don't say that," He says sternly, taking your hand in his. "You are just as much a part of it as anyone."
You sigh, finding it hard to believe him.
"And not just 'cause you're the kids' mom," He goes on to say earnestly. "You're my family, always. That will never change. You gave me two of the greatest gifts in the world, and I will never stop appreciating you for that. The dinner will give you and Kaya a chance to become friends, too."
You purse your lips childishly. "Don't wanna."
"Come here," Bucky mumbles softly before pulling you in for a hug. "It may not be functional, or traditional, or happy all the time, but you're a part of our family whether you wanna be or not."
Humming against his chest, you say nothing.
"And if it makes you feel more comfortable, I'll let you bring Steve," He says, filling you with relief. "What do you say, Ste?"
"Sounds good," Steve replies plainly, keeping his eyes on you.
"Okay. I'll leave you two to eat your biscotti in peace," Bucky says, kissing your forehead before pulling back and looking you up and down. "Can I say something?"
"I'd rather you didn't," You mutter flatly.
Ignoring you, he speaks. "You look good."
Snorting, you shake your head. "Buck-"
"I'm being serious! You look great," He says genuinely. "You're glowing- you're not pregnant, are you?"
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Steve's head perk up, making you snort. "I gave birth to twins when I was sixteen years old," You say dryly. "Even if I wasn't having sex, I'd still be taking birth control."
Bucky's face scrunches up in disgust. "Gross. I don't wanna know that you're having sex; that's weird."
"You watched two human beings and a placenta play slip-and-slide out of my vagina and you wanna talk about weird?" You ask with a scoff.
Immediately, he brings his hands up to his ears, squeezing his eyes shut. "La, la, la!"
All you can do is laugh at his display of immaturity, making your way back over to the counter and sitting down a seat away from Steve.
Now calm, Bucky tilts his head. "How you doing for money?"
That makes you laugh again. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
He shrugs, "Mom mentioned you seemed a little stressed out-"
"Bucky, I am no longer married to you which means I'm allowed to say this: I hate your mom," You tell him unapologetically. "I hate her. She's the worst. She's horrible."
He lets out a long sigh. "She isn't that bad."
"And if you really must know," You say, not wanting to dwell on the topic of Winnifred for too long. "I actually just got promoted at work."
"You did?" Bucky asks in shock, walking over and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me, Y/N?"
You pick up your coffee and take a sip, stealing a glance at Steve. "I don't know. Everyone's been busy with the wedding; it didn't seem relevant."
"Didn't seem relevant?" Steve repeats with a raised brow. "You got a promotion, ba- Y/N, you should be very proud of yourself. I know I am."
You're proud of him for catching himself before doing something stupid like calling you baby in front of Bucky. The idea of it gives you butterflies. Baby.
"Damn right, we're proud of you!" Bucky agrees, squeezing your shoulder, before looking down at his watch. "I really should get going, now."
He pats Steve on the back and gives your cheek a quick peck before grabbing a biscotto and leaving. You and Steve sit in silence until you hear the sound of the front door being locked.
"Well," You drag out, giving him a blank look. "Wanna taste one of her brownies?"
He watches with an amused smile as you take the lid off the tupperware box and pull one of the bite-sized treats. You break it in two and hand the bigger half to him, both of you eating it at the same time.
"Mmm," Steve instantly reacts with delight, before he sees the glare in your eyes and immediately spits the chewed-up brownie onto your counter. "I meant ew. Gross."
Rolling your eyes while he uses a napkin to clean up the mess, you shrug. "Mine taste better. I put peanut butter in them."
He throws the balled-up napkin into the trash before raising a brow at you. "You'll have to make them for me one day."
While he finishes off his coffee, you can't help but fall into your thoughts. How would Bucky react if he was to find out? Would he care? Of course he would. Steve is his best friend, for crying out loud.
"What are you thinking of?" Steve asks softly once he notices how out of it you are.
Pulled back to reality, you offer him a sheepish smile. "Trying to make sense of this."
"Make sense of it?" He asks, getting up and moving closer to stand behind you. His arms wrap tightly around you and he rests his chin on your shoulder. "How do you feel, right now? In this very moment?"
You lightly place your hands on his arms, leaning your cheek against his. "Calm. Safe." Looking up at him and seeing the way he's looking back, you lower your voice to a whisper. "Wanted."
Gently, Steve kisses you. It feels like a jump-start, the way he fills you with a new joy for life. "I don't know about you, but that makes more sense to me than anything ever has," He mumbles. "You and I have been through our share of hurt. For once, let us have peace."
He speaks as though it's simple. As though there aren't any repercussions or consequences of the two of you breaking the rules.
"And the collateral damage?" You ask lowly, gripping him tighter. "The messy echo we create?"
Steve only holds you closer, keeping you in his calming embrace. "We'll clean it up together."
PART 3
thanks for reading! here is my steve masterlist if you wanna read my other stuff on him. and if you want to be notified of any future works, follow @kinanabinksupdates and turn on notifications as i no longer use a taglist.
Two hearts in pain, recklessly finding comfort in each other with no care for the pain they themselves are the authors of.
Warning: Widower!Steve x Divorced!Reader, Ex Husband!Bucky, Dead!Peggy, mature themes, mention of death and grief, heavy, heavy angst, forbidden love, comfort/fluff, smut (kissing, fingering, penetrative sex, soft!steve, allusion to cockwarming).
You take a long sip of the watered-down bourbon, holding back a grimace at its weak taste before placing the glass back onto the wooden bar. Inside your chest is a dull ache as the dancefloor behind you is lit up with excited guests and happy faces. You want to hate them. You want to be angry at them for enjoying themselves. But all you have the energy to feel is complete and utter jealousy.
His presence is felt before his voice sounds out. Not expecting to hear him spill out the basic greeting, you barely even hear it. When he sits down, you turn your head to him. It's as though you can sense that he's feeling just as jealous as you.
"Horrible, ain't it?" You ask, before looking to the front where rows of bottles stare back at you.
"Terrible," Steve replies lowly, waving down the bartender.
When he orders himself a bourbon, you lean forward and call out, "Make it a bottle, honey." The bartender nods before leaving the two of you alone. With a frown, you turn to Steve again. "Shouldn't you be celebrating with your best friend?"
He glances behind at the dancefloor, shrugging. "His new in-laws are hogging him. A little look into the future, I guess."
"What are they like?" You can't help but ask, having not properly met Bucky's new family yet.
A knowing look grows on Steve's face. "They're nice. A good family. The twins get along with them."
"That's what I was worried about," You grumble, rubbing your forehead. "Their new mom's family being the best."
"They're old enough to look past all the fancy stuff," He assures you. "They know who their mother is. That won't ever change."
You give him a tight-lipped smile. "Thank you."
A short silence passes while the bartender places the bottle in between you, along with another glass. You watch as Steve pours it out, giving you an inch more than he gives himself. Lifting up his glass, he nods and you pick up yours, clinking them against each other in a silent cheers.
You take a sip, before frowning. "This must be hard for you. Being at a wedding, and all."
A dry laugh leaves his mouth. "Hardest night since the funeral."
Your heart aches and instinctively, you place a comforting hand on his forearm. "I know this is probably the millionth time you've heard this, but I'm sorry, Steven. Peggy really was incredible. You must be the strongest person in the world to have survived losing her."
He places his hand on top of yours, squeezing it. "Thank you."
Watching as he drinks the rest of his bourbon in one gulp, you smile softly. "Look at us. Couple of heartbroken losers, getting wasted at a wedding."
"Losers, huh?" He repeats with a chuckle. "I'm absolutely fine with that."
When you hear the familiar sound of your daughter laughing, you turn your head to see Bucky, his new wife, and your kids taking a photo together. Blake's smiling wider than you think you've ever made her smile as Bucky cracks what is likely one of his cheesy jokes, and Grant's got his hand on his new step-mother's shoulder while she grins up at him. The perfect family.
"They love you," Steve mutters, noticing your silence. "It's just that today is all about Buck and Kaya. Everyone else doesn't matter as much; at least until their honeymoon's over."
You hum in response, knowing that he's right and knowing that you're being immature in your jealousy.
"Uh-oh," He suddenly whispers, nudging your arm. "Code Winnie."
Grimacing, you sit up and push the half-empty glass of bourbon aside to make it look less like you're an utter drunkard to her of all people. Evil incarnate.
Winnifred Barnes.
She's hated you since the minute your sixteen-year-old self shakily told her that her sixteen-year-old son had gotten you pregnant. Not having an abortion had annoyed her - and then, when it turned out that you were having twins, she was convinced that you were her own personal devil send down to earth to ruin her life and give her hell.
"Y/N, how lovely to see you!" Winnifred says cheerfully, though it's plain to see how fake her attitude is. "Drinking until you drown, as per usual?"
You raise your glass and wink at her. "You know me well, Winnie."
She gives Steve a glance, before looking back at you. "I see you didn't utilize the plus-one that James so graciously added to your invite. Where's that gentleman you've been spending time with? Graham, was it? Gerald?"
"Greg," You correct her through gritted teeth. "He, uh, he couldn't make it." And he's also more of a completely friend-zoned co-worker than a gentleman you've been spending time with.
She pouts, making you want to punch her. "What a shame. It would be nice to see you finally move on after - how long has it been, now? Ten years?"
"Nine," You utter, staring down at your glass.
"Still," She says lightly, raising her brows. "It's about time you find someone new. Don't you think?"
"You know what?" Steve suddenly interjects, standing up. "How about I take a look at your car, Y/N? You were worried about a sound the engine was making?"
Playing along, and grateful for his interruption, you stand up too. "That's a great idea, Steve."
You don't bother giving Winnifred another glance before walking out of the outdoor reception area of the hotel with Steve, breathing out a sigh of relief once you're away from all the people and all their noise.
"Thank you for that," You say gratefully as the two of you linger in the lobby. "I don't know how long I would've gone before resorting to physical violence."
He laughs at that, though you aren't sure you were joking.
"Tell you what," Steve begins, putting his hands in his pockets as he looks down at you. "The wedding's basically over. Any minute now, Bucky and Kaya will be waved off in their decorated car on their way to eternal happiness, and whatnot. I don't know about you, but I don't particularly wanna be there to fake a smile while the onslaught of memories attacks my mind - which I'm sure they will to yours, too."
You raise a brow. "What do you suggest, Rogers?"
He shrugs. "Let's skip it. Order more alcohol up to my room and drown in each other's misery."
"It would make a refreshing change from drowning in my own," You muse, before frowning. "Shouldn't the Best Man be present for the whole thing, though?"
"Buck knew tonight would be hard for me," Steve admits, looking to the ground as his foot gently kicks the carpet. "He was just happy I was able to stay for the ceremony."
You can't help but feel bad for him. It's been just over a year since he lost Peggy, and they had only been married for two months when she died. Understandably, weddings are a trigger for him, and you find some peace in not being the only one feeling sad at Bucky's wedding.
"So, what do you say?" Steve presses, giving you an expectant, and slightly hopeful, look. "Champagne on ice, 150 TV channels, wiping each other's tears away?"
You scoff, shaking your head. "You think I'd ever let you see me cry?"
He tilts his head, a contemplative look on his face. "Eh, we can both wipe mine away, then. It takes two."
"You little crybaby," You tease him under your breath as the two of you make your way to the elevator.
It feels odd to be alone with Steve and on your way to his hotel room. The two of you were never particularly close, even when you were married to Bucky. He was always nice, but you never really had the time or opportunity to get to know him. Having two babies as a teenager meant you barely had any time for yourself, let alone other people. Steve was nice enough to babysit whenever he could, and even became an uncle figure to the kids, but your marriage with Bucky was toxic and unhealthy. You lumped him and his friends together as your worst enemies, and though you knew Steve was a sweetheart, you only ever saw him as an extension of your cruel, selfish husband.
Nine years have passed, though, and you can now see Steve for what he is: a heartbroken loser, just like you. You find solace in the fact that you aren't the only one who lost their significant other, though you do feel a little self-centred when you try to compare your divorce to Peggy's death.
His room is nice. A king-sized bed with a large TV on the opposite wall, and a big window that overlooks a canal. As promised, he orders a bottle of champagne and the two of you toast to Bucky's happiness.
"I really do want him to be happy," You insist while he takes a sip. "It might not seem like it, but I don't hate him anymore. I understand that he was made a father way too young, and that led to a lot of resentment and internalized hatred. I can't blame him for what was half my fault."
Steve lets you speak your mind, and it feels like he completely believes you. He has the sort of listening face that can make someone feel truly heard, and like he understands you in a way that nobody else has ever tried to.
The two of you are sitting on the edge of his bed, making a sizable dent in the bottle, when he finally speaks.
"You look beautiful tonight, you know that?" He utters, looking you in the eyes. "I noticed that nobody else bothered telling you, so I thought I would."
Taken aback by his admission, you raise a brow. "You noticed?"
Steve nods once, rubbing the side of his glass with his thumb. "It was the first thing I thought when I saw you arrive. Then I kept an eye on you, waiting to see if anyone would try and make a move - not in a weird way; I just would've loved to see Bucky's asshole cousins get taken down a peg."
You laugh at his revelation, patting his knee. "Thank you for having faith in my abilities, Rogers. Appreciate it."
He glances down at your hand and you immediately pull it back. Fuck. Almost made things weird.
"You look good too," You tell him truthfully, taking the opportunity to look him up and down. "Anyone tell you that tonight?"
"Come on; have you seen me?" He teases arrogantly. "Drowning in compliments all night. Had to fight off all the ladies. Gets exhausting, being this attractive, you know?"
"Oh, I don't doubt it," You mumble with a soft laugh.
While staring you down, his chuckles die down, until a silence blooms between you. Gently, Steve takes the half-empty glass from your hand and places both his and yours down onto the ground. His hand then moves up to push your hair back, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
Slowly, his face moves closer to yours, his action stealing your breath.
"Steve," You whisper, terrified that anything louder would break the moment. "Are you drunk?"
"Not enough to do something I regret," He mumbles, scanning your face. "And letting you leave would be a regret."
One glance at his lips is enough to make it clear. You want him. God, do you want him. He's always been beautiful and warm and soft, but now he's all those things and available, too. There aren't any real barriers between you anymore - except for one.
"Whatever this is," You say, meeting his electric eyes. "I'm not entirely sure Bucky would be happy about it."
The mother of his children and his best friend spending the night together? That would be ludicrous.
Steve suddenly cups your face, his eyebrows furrowing together. "Who's telling Bucky?"
Those three words are enough to rid you of any feeling besides want. And right now, all you want is Steve. So, without further ado, you kiss him, melting into his buttery lips. He tastes of expensive alcohol and wedding cake, but he feels like freedom from the pain. It feels like kissing him, touching him, being with him makes all the bad feelings disappear, even if only temporarily.
"This is wrong," Your sensible voice manages to fly through the selfishness as you pull away from the kiss.
Steve lets out a sigh, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "All I know is that I don't want to be alone tonight, Y/N. I'm so, so sick of being alone," His eyes flutter shut as he rests his forehead against yours. "You and I both deserve a break from the loneliness. We deserve to be selfish."
All the right words are falling from his mouth and piercing you with their sharpness. You say nothing, afraid your voice is too weak to speak loud enough.
"Please," He begs you lowly, his lips brushing against yours. "I can't be alone tonight."
His eyes open again and one look into the ocean blue is all the prompt you need to dive into the deep end. You kiss him harder this time, with a new neediness. He's quick to pull you onto his lap, groaning into the kiss as you grind your crotch against his. His hands slide up your dress, rubbing your thighs and sending sparks through your skin.
Suddenly, he stands up with your legs around his waist, kissing you for a few seconds more before throwing you onto the bed. While he rushes to remove his tie and unbutton his shirt, you slowly slip off your dress, moving backwards until your head reaches the pillow.
You watch in awe as he presents his body to you. He takes off his tailored slacks, his eyes never once leaving yours. Crawling back onto the bed, Steve trails his fingers up your bare legs until he reaches your inner thighs, making you suck in a breath.
He buries his face in your neck, kissing your skin while his hand gently rubs you over your panties. "Need you so bad," He whispers into your ear, nipping at your jaw.
"Steve," You whine, bucking up your hips. "Please."
With your imploring, he rips your panties apart, leaving the fabric around your waist as his fingers explore your wet folds. You shiver at his touch, digging your nails into his biceps just as he finds your clit and rubs soft circles into it. Every one of your whimpers makes his cock harden, and you can feel it pressing against your thigh. When your hand reaches down to cup his boner, Steve lets out a moan and it's music to your ears. You continue rubbing him through his boxers, getting off on the way he shivers and tenses up on top of you. He rips off your bra, treating it with the same disrespect he gave your panties, throwing it to the side with no care.
Grabbing your legs, he spreads them apart before settling in between them. He pulls down his underwear, revealing his throbbing cock to you. Your pussy clenches around nothing at the sight, and he meets your eyes before bringing the tip to your entrance.
With no further delay, Steve sinks his length into you, bringing his face closer to yours as you both let out a sigh of contentment. His thick cock fills you up, and your tight cunt sucks him further in until his balls rest against your ass.
"Fuck," He utters as his head falls to rest against your chest. "Your pussy feels so fucking good, baby."
His words make you flutter around his cock, which he feels and lets out a low groan at. With a deep breath, he begins fucking in and out of you, grunting with each thrust.
There's no greediness or rush in his actions. It's soft and it's slow and it's sweet and it's Steve, and nothing has ever felt so right.
"So good," You moan, wrapping your arms around him and holding him closer to you. "Fucking me so good, Steve."
Your nails dig proof of your passion into his back, each soft brush against your g-spot winning him a deeper scratch. He inches in and out of you slower than you've ever been fucked before, and slower than you thought sex could be. The speed allows you to truly feel every bit of his cock stroking your inner walls, your toes curling.
A fire burns in your core and spreads throughout your body when Steve growls lowly, pinning your hands to the bed with unnecessary strength. All he'd have to do is say the word and you wouldn't dare move, but the way he's holding you down only increases your pleasure.
He picks his head up and brings his lips to yours, kissing you deeply. His tongue dances around your mouth, your spit mixing with his and coating your chin.
"Being so good for me," Steve groans lowly, lifting up one of your legs and resting it on his shoulder before fucking you deeper. "Shit, you're taking my cock so fucking well, baby."
As the two of you become one, all your pain is forgotten. No longer do you fear the prospect of spending the rest of your life alone, or having to watch your kids fall in love with another mother, or never again finding love. None of that matters in this moment. Steve is not just a distraction, but a cure. You know that once this is over, you'll be back to your game of self-loathing and perpetual loneliness - but right now, the rules don't matter. Your body and how it feels physically are taking precedence over your aching heart, feelings be damned.
His pace picks up, but he's still going slow. He whispers your name like a prayer, and you can tell by the desperation in his tone that he's close to climaxing. The idea of his pleasure only heightens yours, and you can feel the knot tightening within you as the pressure builds up.
"Steven," You cry, running one of your hands through his soft hair and pulling on it. "Cum inside me."
A weak groan leaves his mouth at your plea, and he fucks into you harder. He sits up, kissing your leg which rests on his shoulder while his hands grope and play with your tits. Pulling and twisting your nipples, he fucks you harder still, pounding into your cunt like his life depends on it.
"Gonna cum," You whimper, reaching your hands up to his face.
"Cum with me, baby," He orders you gently, taking your hands in his and linking your fingers together. He leans down again, pressing his forehead to yours. "Cum for me."
The low command is enough to pull forth your orgasm, and within a second you explode in delight. Your senses light up as you squirt onto his abs, coating his skin in your juices. The way your cunt clenches around him makes it hard for him to hold back any longer and, kissing you deeply, Steve cums inside you. His hot seed shoots out in spurts, filling you up and seeping out around his shaft.
"That's it," He groans, tightening his grip on your hands. "That's my girl."
Your eyes roll back as you come down from your high, shaking underneath him. The orgasm was intense and slow, lasting longer than you think it ever has before.
He lets out weak groans against your throat. "My good girl," Steve whispers sweetly, kissing against your neck as your pulse races under his lips.
While you each relax and steady your heartbeats, Steve keeps his cock deep inside you, and you know he isn't planning on taking it out anytime soon. His thumbs stroke your cheeks as he stares at your face, as though he's trying to remember each and every detail of it by heart.
"How do you feel?" He whispers after a few moments. It's as though he's preparing himself for the worst - waiting for you to break down in tears because of how guilty you feel about what you just did.
Your hands move to his back, soothingly rubbings the dents and scars you left there. With your eyes firmly glued to his, you give him a small smile. "Good."
He's pleasantly surprised by your response, but he's quick to recover from his shock as he smiles back down at you. "Good."
Remorse is put on the back burner while the two of you bask in the ethereal afterglow of your sin. Regret is for the sober.
here is my steve masterlist if you wanna read my other stuff on him. and if you want to be notified of any future works, follow @kinanabinksupdates and turn on notifications as i no longer use a taglist.
Part 2
thank you for reading. hope you enjoyed. think this will end up being a short series.
summary ─ “hold me close to your heaven, angel…” he whispered and leaned in for a passionate kiss.
pairing ─ dilf!neighbor!pornstar!bucky barnes x reader
warnings ─ smut, +18, sexual tension: Resolved, light angst, fluff, anya is cute but she’s cockblocking, she did like twice already lmao, kissing, dry humping, fingering, feelings are: Revealed, a wild natasha appears, bucky is a Tease, and so is natasha, thigh fucking, kitchen sex, softness, please let me know if i’m missing any warnings
a/n ─ triple fun continues… lol. thank you for all the love you’ve shown to the previous part <3333 i love u all <3 i also tahnk you for the patience you had for this part. please do enjoy this 9k words of… one-shot? lmao. all the mistakes are belong to me bc i don’t like proofreading. hope you like this one as well. please leave comments if you do! thank youuu <33
part one
You grumbled to yourself angrily as you threw your coat on your couch and shuffled your way through the kitchen.
You got stood up.
“Hah!” The sound left your mouth without you realizing it, you frowned. You grabbed a glass and poured yourself some cold water.
Summary: Bucky (Beefy!Bucky because 🥵) and reader are good friends and end up becoming friends with benefits. After a couple months, Bucky realizes he has deeper feelings for her, but he’s terrified to tell her. It’s fluff, it’s angst, it’s smut. Plus, there’s a little bit of sub!Bucky in here.
Warnings: 18+ please…not a massive amount of smut, but it’s there. Talk of torture and death. Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids). Cursing. Choking (in a non-sexual way).
Author’s Note: Story is not canon with the MCU, so FYI.
summary ─ “if you need any help with anything, open your door.”
pairing ─ dilf!neighbor!pornstar!bucky barnes x reader
warnings ─ smut, +18, dirty talk, seducing, pet names, bucky has a daughter, kissing, reader is a half-time babysitter, they both have a crush on each other, mentions and descriptions from a porno, this bucky has long hair and tattoos and basically civil war bucky, fluff, so much fluff
a/n ─ i brought you triple fun lol i’ll be posting this in two parts because it was getting long long and i thought it would be easier to read if i divided into parts. hope you like it! please leave comments if you do! thank youuu <3
p.s.: please excuse the shitty russian, i used google translate lol + title is from the weeknd’s take my breath
“Hello, Miss Angel!” You heard a sweet voice calling and turned around with a big smile on your lips.
Anya was your neighbor’s six-year-old daughter. She had beautiful red, wavy hair that came from her mother and big crystal blue eyes that she inherited from her father. Her little face was the sweetest one you had ever seen so far. She was missing a couple teeth, her speech was a bit slurred, but those only made her even cuter.
