I've been writing since I was a starry eyes ten year old who was absolutely so in love with Sailor Moon, she had to create more between each episode. From there, I started crafting and making my own original stories. It wasn't until 2017 I started writing monster romances, and from there I truly found my wings and started a journey that's brought me here!
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Commissions Closed
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Patreon Edition: Public post of the masterlist
Tumblr Pages: Ruby Empire - Modern Monsters - Hearthway Hollow & Demons Hide - Hepheastus Academy & Aliens - Miror, Fragile Lands, Horror - Long Works & More
Had the chance to work with the amazing @momolady and absolutely jumped at it!
These two are from her short monster erotica Jean Pascal the Gargoyle, featuring, obviously, the namesake himself — JP — and his… situationship (yeah, let’s go with that, lol), Allegra.
Want all the juicy details on these stone-cold, on-again off-again, definitely-not lovers? Make sure to check out Momo’s work! Just mind the tags.
Dying from excitement here because the wonderful @momolady commissioned this piece from me and I am very pleased with the amount of color she allowed me to put into this baby
this is a website full of SINNERS, SICKOS, and HOMOS!!!!!
So tell me .... what sins of the past still haunt you?
Did you do hamilton discourse? Become the most popular jonas brothers rpf writer on AO3 when you were 13? Did you make a fake post on tumblr about owning the homophobes? Did you spend 2 years roleplaying as a middle aged mom who writes letters to serial killers in the true crime community before eventually deleting the 10,000 follower blog in shame? Did you do hamilton discourse?
Father Strange is here to offer a comforting ear and absolve you of your guilt. You many now unburden yourself anonymously in my inbox.
Clarification: The sins need not take place on tumblr so as long as they feel sort of tumblr-y. Anything fandom/fanfic related definitely works. writing fake stories on reddit would work. The twitter discourse trenches would work. Sometimes tumblr is a state of mind, u know?
My part of an art card swap with da wonderous @momolady !
Sharing slighted tilted photos too so you can see the shimmer! This was done in watercolor, a silver colored pencil and posca marker for the grungy back of the card. >:3
“What do you mean werewolf?” You blurted out as your landlord sat there calmly, smiling at you with a knowing look. You couldn’t believe your ears, hell, you were still reeling from the dead deer on your porch!
“You’ve seen the movies, right?” Mrs. Locklear asked, stirring a cup of tea. “Oh, surely a girl your age has read Twilight,” she laughed. “That book is bullshit by the way. I’ve met vampires and they certainly aren’t like that. Oh and don’t get me started on the werewolf shenanigans in there.”
“Mrs. Locklear!” You gasped out to interrupt her ramblings. “Yes, I know what a werewolf is. But that’s just stories! Like…vikings or something came up with those stories. Right?”
“Oh certainly some of the earliest tales of werewolves come from old viking tales. Lots of vikings probably were.” She took a sip of her tea, which you had made before she arrived with shaking hands. “There’s stories of us from all over the world. How could that not be real?”
You grasped your chest. “Us?”
Mrs. Locklear was close to taking another sip before she stopped. “Well, shucks, my bad. Don’t be afraid of me. I’m just an old lesbian. Nothing mean about me except my stance.”
You looked her up and then down. She was far from being a frail older woman. How old could she be? Sixty? Maybe late fifties? No! That’s not what matters, she’s a werewolf!
“How many of you are there?” You felt like you were being squeezed like a dog toy every time you spoke.
“Well, I can’t recall the last tally we did. So many folks have moved in the past few years. Damn covid just about chased all the Northerners here.” She thought a moment more. “Granted, this town was formed as a werewolf safe haven.”
Your eyes could have bulged out of your head. “Please, Mrs. Locklear,” you decided to try bargaining. “Tell me you’re pulling my leg and a deer just decided my porch was the best place to die.” You would do anything to be able to stay in Hearthway Hollow, you loved this place.You loved your job at the daycare. You had thought just this morning how you could stay here forever! The rent was affordable to where you could live on your own, which could never happen anywhere else. The people were nice! Oh god, the people. The werewolves!
Mrs. Locklear put her hand on your shoulder. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Lots of people here go through this. And us werewolves are just like you, save for being furry once in a while.”
“You said a werewolf left that…deer on my porch.” You pointed towards the sliding glass door which had become one of your favorite parts of your new home. “Why would it do that? Is it a threat?”
Mrs. Locklear smiled. “It’s a declaration of love, actually.”
Your jaw went slack and you had to take a step away to brace yourself at the kitchen table. “How is a dead deer supposed to do that?”
“Look, it’s just a simple tradition here. It’s showing that they want to provide for you and are capable of doing so. Any minute now the local butcher shop will come to take the deer and process it into meat you can cook with. If you don’t want it, they will donate it.” She took another sip of tea. “Also, tell me where you bought this tea!”
“A relative in Vietnam,” you sputtered out. Your head was reeling, spinning. How were you supposed to go to work like this? First it was a dead deer. Now it was werewolves and something about love.
“You’re lucky,” Mrs. Locklear said.
You stared at her in disbelief.
She smirked. “Not many people get courted by a werewolf, you know?”
Somehow, you went into work, managing to put a bright face on for the kids. It was fingerpaints day, and everyone was excited. You got everyone dressed in cute little smocks and sat outside where the concrete slab wouldn’t be harmed by the spilled and excess paint.
“So, are you still enjoying the job?” Julian asked. He was one of the other teachers at the daycare. He was handsome, sweet, and so gentle.
“Yes!” You exclaimed. “This has been, oh my gosh, probably my most favorite job ever,” you said, beaming with pride. “I can’t thank you enough for hiring me.”
Julian beamed right back. “We were so excited to have you here, and the kids like you too.” His eyes cut over to the tables where a kid was complaining about how messy their hands were. “Would you mind going and getting the water buckets?” He asked.
“No problem!” You cheered. “How many do you think we’ll need?”
“How about five. Three kids to a bucket.”
You gave him a thumbs up. “You got it!” You went off towards the shed, stepping out from the shade of the gazebo.
“I was wondering what the noise was.”
You lurched then let out a laugh. “Oh, Kayden.” You breathe with relief while clutching your chest. “You startled me.”
His stoic expression had not once changed since you started working here. His thick brow was set in stone, and his full lips were placed in a permanent half scowl half pensive line.
He bowed his head at you. “I’m a silent walker. I used to scare my mother.”
“I’m sure,” you chuckled. “And yeah, it’s finger paint day!” You said this with a sing-songy tone, like you were still talking to the kids.
Kayden had a handful of jobs at the daycare. His family owned the property so he was part groundskeeper, security, and janitor. He was a jack of all trades to say.
“You wouldn’t think most teachers would be that excited about a mess like this,” he murmured.
“But look how happy the kids are! Not only that, they really let loose and show their creativity. Isn’t that exciting?”
His dark eyes looked you up and down. “I never much liked it as a kid myself.”
You stared at him shocked. “Never?”
He held up his gloved hand and wagged his fingers. It was the closest you had seen him get to playfulness. “I’ve always had a thing with getting my hands dirty. I don’t mind hard work, I just prefer to keep my hands clean is all.”
You leaned closer to him. “Then what did you like as a child?”
His eyes darted aside. “Eating crayons apparently,” he grumbled. “At least that’s what my mother says.”
You tried to keep from laughing, but a giggle escaped from behind your hand. Kayden’s eyes darted back to you and something of a smile appeared.
“What do you need in the shed?” he asked. “I’ll get it for you.”
You were still trying to keep from laughing, but you were bursting. “Buckets,” you sputtered. “For water so the kids can splash around and wash their hands so it’ll make clean up fun.” You said with a bright smile on your face.
“Are you always so chipper?”
The question kind of stung. You tended to keep up a cheery attitude to keep people at bay. If you are happy and sunny no one pays much attention or asks too many questions. “Am I?” You asked, trying to play it off.
“It seems that way. Don’t worry, I’ll go get some buckets for you.” He turned away before you could really see if he was smiling or not.
The paintings were left out to dry, and the buckets of water were used to water the planters all around the daycare. You were wiping down tables while the kids napped, excited for the snack you’d have when you were done. The thought of werewolves was an almost distant thing. Until it wasn’t.
You stalled, looking out towards the woods behind the daycare. You swallowed, thinking that some massive, bloodthirsty creature was watching you from the shadows. Wide, glowing eyes peering at you, wanting you.
“I can help with that.”
You yelped then sighed. “Kayden! You should wear a bell.”
“Sorry,” he murmured.
You shook your head, laughing at how afraid you had been. “Sorry. I’m just a little shaky today.”
His brow furrowed ever so slightly.
You sat down at one of the picnic tables. “I woke up to a pretty frightening sight this morning.”
He was still silent.
You glanced back towards him. “What do you think about werewolves?”
“Not where I expected this conversation to go.” He stuffed his gloved hands into his pockets.
Was he one of them? You thought to yourself. Was Kayden a werewolf? Big, tall, Kayden with the beautiful, wavy chestnut hair. He was lean, but always wore baggy coveralls to hide his form. Then his skin, his lovely skin. You had been wanting to ask him what he used for it, but had been too afraid to.
“You’ll hear a lot of stories about them around these parts.” His eyes darted off into the distance. “Not much you can do to escape it here.”
“Apparently,” you grumbled under your breath. You reached into your apron, taking out the apple in the large front pocket. You picked at the skin before taking a small bite.
“An apple? You really are a teacher.”
You covered your mouth while you chew. “I like them, okay? Don’t tease me about it.”
There it was again, something that could have been a smile, but maybe it wasn’t. “I’ll take care of the tables. You enjoy your break.”
“I don’t mind helping.” You tried to follow after him, but he made you sit back down while he washed off the tables.
Once home you busied yourself with tidying up and washing your hair. Anything to keep your mind off that big glass door. You took to your bedroom, painting your nails and toenails while music played. You heard something rustling, as if dragging through the forest.
You watched your door, which was slightly cracked to where you could see outside the glass door. The motion lights came on and you jumped to your feet. For some reason, you went towards the door. For another inexplicable reason, you slid open the glass door.
The creature was hunched over, trying to pull something along the gravel driveway. It turned around, ears perked up, brown coat bristling along the back neck as it looked at you.
Werewolf!
You froze in fear, unsure why you had been so bold as to come outside.
The werewolf dropped its next gift, which you didn’t even want to focus on. You exclaimed a curse word under your breath as you met the werewolf’s eyes.
“I don’t eat a lot of meat!” You blurted out, once again like you were being squeezed. “I’m barely a cook at all.” You bit your lip. “I donated the deer. I'm sorry.”
The werewolf was frozen in the headlights of your eyes, he’d be caught and he wasn’t sure what to do.
You pointed to what it had been dragging. “What’s that?”
The werewolf’s ears flattened down and he turned away from you, looking down at his feet. “Apples.”
You furrowed your brow. “What?”
He stepped aside, showing you the large burlap bag. “Apples.”
Your mouth opened slightly then closed. “I…I can’t possibly eat that many.” You stepped down towards him. “Did you pick those at Hyacinth farm? That’s miles down the road!”
He nodded.
You were trying your best not to shake. “I do really like apples though. G-good guess. I’ll enjoy them all the same.”
The werewolf was quiet.
You were also quiet.
“Sorry,” he muttered again. “About the deer.”
You bit your lip. “It’s okay. If that’s tradition, I get it. My family has some weird ones.” You then motioned to your door. “Would you like some tea?”
He went quiet again, avoiding eye contact with you.
“I prefer talking to get to know someone who…wants to court me, so to speak,” you laughed nervously. “For starters, what’s your name?”
His tail wagged slightly before curling around his leg. “I’m a bit embarrassed to say.” he followed you, stepping inside and bowing his head to avoid hitting the top of the door.
“Do I know you already?” You asked as you reached for the kettle.
The werewolf looked around, his eyes darting back and forth as he took in your home. He eventually stilled, focusing on you. His eyes looked familiar. You stared at him a bit too long and looked away embarrassed.
“Maybe it’s best I don’t know anyways,” you huffed. “It’s really sweet you’re trying to court me. If it wasn’t so shocking I would be flattered. But it’s okay, you don’t have to do this.”
His eyes flicked up. “What do you mean?”
You fidgeted in place, looking down at the ground. The paint on your toes had gotten smudged when you jumped up. “You don’t have to court me. I mean, it’s a lot of effort. Killing deer, picking apples.” You looked back up and forced out a laugh. “I’m not worth all that!”
He looked at you, his gaze serious and a bit ominous. “Not worth it?”
“You know,” you scoffed, trying to play it off. “There’s better people out there. People who love werewolves.”
His eyes were still sharp. His silence was creeping on you.
You swallowed. “What do you even like about me?”
He snorted. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t have a lot to like about you. The first time I smelled you, I knew. Your scent is soft and warm, it’s comforting. From there, I found so many things I liked about you. Your hair, your smile. Beyond that, it’s-” His large paw covered his chest and his fingers gripped. “I want to be near you all the time.”
Your heart fluttered. “No. Really?” You murmured.
His eyes were sharp again. “You put up a guard of cheeriness. It’s a wall.”
You shut your mouth tight and grabbed the hem of your shirt.
“No one has to worry if you’re always smiling. Right?” The werewolf stepped towards you. “No one gets too close when they think you’re friendly.”
“So? I am friendly!”
“And you are.” He reached out, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “But you use it as a shield rather than a magnet.”
The werewolf dropped his hand. “If you want me to stop, I will.”
You swallowed and jumped when the kettle whistled. You caught your breath and grabbed two mugs from the counter. “Can’t we just talk? Maybe if we do, you’ll make up your own mind.”
The werewolf scoffed. His gaze was gentle, and that almost hurt the most. “Fine. This isn’t how the courtship is supposed to go. But for you, I’ll do anything.”
Your heart skipped and you had to avoid his eyes to keep from blushing. “You don’t need to go that far,” you replied. “But, I’ve not had company over since I moved. Aside from Mrs. Locklear anyways.”
“How are you liking it?” He asked.
“Oh, it’s wonderful.” You went on to talk about your love of the town. That then led to some idle chat about childhood and the like. You discussed your favorite toys as kids. Both of you had at one point collected Pokemon cards. Yours was sold while you were away at summer camp one year.
When you woke up in the morning you were in bed. Clothed but comfortable in bed. “Must have fallen asleep talking,” you grumbled. You got out of bed and changed out of your old clothes.
After a quick shower, you went into the kitchen. Through the glass door, you saw a cardboard box sitting on the porch.
“Did he leave something else?” You murmured as you stepped outside. You opened the box, finding an old binder covered in various stickers. Inside was a large collection of pokemon cards.
“Oh my gosh!” You gasped.
You spent the Saturday morning going through the cards, reminiscing and genuinely enjoying yourself. You had so many of the same cards, even a special page just for rares to show off. There were also old toys that you went through, happily setting them up in a line on your coffee table.
“I can’t believe he gave me these. This is amazing!” You squealed with excitement, still finding another binder at the bottom. Then your stomach began growling and you made something to eat, having got lost in the nostalgia of everything.
“One last thing,” you sighed, content with a fresh pot of tea and a steaming mug. You took out the last binder, finding it had a bunch of old drawings inside with the cards. The werewolf had attempted to make his own pokemon cards, which was amazingly cute.
One drawing had a signature. Your heart pounded. The werewolf’s name. You were used to reading and translating kid scratch, it wouldn’t be hard for you to make out. You looked away for a moment processing if you wanted such knowledge. You looked back, because of course now you wanted to know.
“You’re kidding!” You yelled to yourself as you held the childhood picture up. You made a quick call to Mrs. Locklear while getting out of pajamas. You then raced out of the house, following Mrs. Locklear’s directions.
Soon, you were standing outside a bright red door of the A frame. The place looked small, even smaller than your place.
Then the door opened.
Kayden sleepily blinked at you a few times. “What are you doing here?” He had on an open hoodie and not much else.
You handed Kayden the drawing from his Pokemon collection. “I really like Mewtwo too.” You stiffened your shoulders, trying to avoid eye contact with his hairy masculine chest.
“Shit,” Kayden grumbled as he looked at the page. “This uhm…this isn’t how the courtship is supposed to go.”
You held up the second thing you brought with you, coffee from the local cafe. “You could have told me!”
“Yeah but tradition is-”
“I like you Kayden!” You blurted out, unable to contain it anymore.
Kayden was silent then again, he was usually always that way so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.
“I like you,” you repeated, slower and softer. You realized it was your first time admitting that to anymore. You always held it in, always happier to be protected from anything too strong. Attachment was hard.
“On my first day at the daycare,” you continued, wanting to keep that strength up. “One of the hamsters died. It was hard and I was given the task of dealing with it while the others talked to the kids. You helped me make a little grave for it. Even though it was really silly.”
Kayden shook his head.
“You didn’t say a word. You helped me. You even found the most perfect little box-” Your voice caught in your throat. “You didn’t need to court me or hunt or anything. I just…I just like talking to you.”
Kayden’s expression changed. For the first time since you met him, his brows moved, his mouth changed. He had this sweet, youthful puppy dog look. His eyes melted your heart. He brought you into a tight embrace against his bare chest. Right! He was practically half naked. Despite that, you hugged him in return.
“Sorry,” he pulled away reluctantly. “I’ve barely slept at all.”
“I kept you up. And you went and got your pokemon collection.” You smiled at him, hoping he knew how much it meant. “If you’re tired. I can go.”
He shook his head. “No. I want to spend time with you. Come in, please.” He stepped aside, letting you into his home.
The A frame had a high ceiling, but there was a loft at the top. The entrance led into a kitchenette and laundry room where dark clothes were shoved and piled into a basket.
“I haven’t had a chance to really clean yet today.” Kayden tried hiding the mess in the sink.
“It’s okay. I came over uninvited.” You blushed, smiling up at him.
“The living room is nice. I did fall asleep in there though.” He took you to the next portion of the main floor where a living room was set up. His television was on, but quiet, displaying a rather cutesy looking anime. He quickly turned that off.
“Your place is cozy.”
“That’s how I prefer things,” he muttered. He cleared off a blanket from the couch. “Sit down.” He then took the little carry case of drinks from you. “I can make something to eat if you’re hungry.”
“I’m fine,” You replied.
You never expected to see Kayden of all people flustered. But he was. He looked so much more boyish now.
“I guess it is late in the day for most people.” He took a seat beside you.
Warmth spread up through your cheeks. “Thanks for putting me to bed last night. Sorry I fell asleep on you.”
He had a smile on his face. “Actually it was nice. I held you for a little bit when you fell asleep on me.” His cheeks got darker. “I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable though.”
“I’m surprised how much I-” You hesitated, realizing now how close you both were. You looked up into his eyes. “How comfortable I am around you.”
He smiled again. Reaching out and touching your face, cupping his large, warm hand over your cheek. That smile was almost too much. After seeing him steel-faced for so long, it was like meeting a new person. He didn’t look any different, but he felt like a fuller version of the Kayden you came to like.
“Is it okay if I kiss you?” He asked, his cheeks growing even darker. “And, if I do kiss you, just know, there may be more than one.”
Your insides squirmed with excitement. “Sure.”
His lips were gentle at first, soft and light. He smelled like pine trees and cold air with a hint of spicy deodorant. Your lips parted with a gasp and he pressed closer. His lips were firmer, his grip was tightening. His hands moved down, caressing your neck and shoulder before resting on your hip.
Something was happening to you. It was sudden and powerful, claiming a tight hold of your senses. It was like hunger, but much deeper. You gasped again and his arm coiled around your waist, pulling you in even more to his body. Your palm grasped his chest and his heartbeat was hammering into your palm.
Your eyes met for the briefest of moments and then, next thing you knew, you were bent over the back of the sofa, your clothes disheveled and pushed up, your hair pulled from the messy bun. Kayden’s hands were fiercely gripping your hips while his nose and tongue were buried inside you, slurping, feasting.
Oh my god! You thought loud in your mind. How did you get here?
Kayden snarled, nipping your thighs. “So soft.” he kissed. “So wet for me.” He let out a raspy chuckle. “This perfect little ass.” His fingers groped, squeezing you. “I can’t believe I’m touching it.” He nibbled on your cheek, licking then biting again.
You got there so fast. It was like your body took over and acted on it’s own accord, overriding any overthinking your brain might have had. You were shocked, but you were enjoying it more than you thought.
“Pretty girl.” Kayden was rising up, kissing up your bare back. “Beautiful.” He kissed along your spine then bit your ribs. There was fur against you, powerful claws holding your hips. The werewolf was out.
“Hmm.” Kayden moaned as he stood up. “Spread your thighs a little more for me.”
You did so, meekly glancing over your shoulder to see if he approved. You watched him shiver, his tongue dart along his sharp teeth.
“Good girl,” he growled. “You’re so obedient.” His grin grew. “I like that, especially here.” he came closer to you, petting your rear. Something warm and hard grinded up against your thigh. “Fuck, I love how soft you are. You smell so good too.”
Oh! Oh! Your mind was spinning. Whatever was against your thigh was…big! Maybe too big? You’d not really gotten to try anything…big. But this was-
Trying to glance back to see what was there, you were greeted by another kiss. Kayden bit and nibbled your lip, lapping your tongue with his. “You taste good everywhere,” he snarled between heavy breaths.
“Kayden,” you whimpered.
“I know, I know.” His hand curled around, groping your breasts. “You need me right?” he moaned, his cock slipping between your thighs. “This usually happens out in the woods. But I can’t control myself. You’re too cute. Too sweet. I need to fuck you now. You make me crazy and I love it so much.”
His words were too much. You buried your face against the couch pillows as Kayden’s cock slipped in and he appeared surprised by the ease at it.
“Fuck, how did you get even wetter?” He moaned into your ear. “How did you know I love a wet pussy like that? Good girl. Perfect girl.”
What was he trying to do to you?
“Can I breed you?” he growled into your ear, his grinding growing more intense. “I want to come in you. Fill you up. I want to see my seed dripping from that perfect pussy of yours.”
What? Your mind was screaming.
“Please,” he whimpered. “Let me breed you, my good girl.”
Your lips parted, mouth dry. “Come in me!” Who was that?
Kayden chuckled in your ear. “I knew you were going to be my good girl.” The tip of his cock tickled along your lips, then it was there, pressing inside. It was easy for him to slide in, to fill you, to make you cry out from surprise.
“Like that?” Kayden whispered. “Did it feel good?”
You whimpered, nodding.
“Werewolf cock, you can get addicted.” He pressed in deeper, reaching parts inside you that felt undiscovered.
“You whimper so cutely. Do it more.” He thrust so suddenly, almost knocking the breath out of you.
You moaned into the pillow, gasping for breath right after.
“Good girl,” he moaned. “There.” he grinded inside you and something was pressing at your mound. “Feel that? Feel my knot?”
His what?
“Once I thrust my fat knot into you, there’s no going back,” he growled. “Until I spill all my come inside you and breed that adorable pussy, there’s no stopping.”
Did you want to?
Kayden leaned into your ear. “Tell me, do you want that?”
“Yes,” you whined.
Kayden kissed you, turning your head back. “Good girl.” He pushed you down, pressing closer, tighter. His knot was thick as it slid in you. At first you weren’t sure it would fit. There was no way! Then pop. It was in place inside you.
Kayden’s fingers tensed on your body and he shuddered. “I’ve never knotted someone before. Fuck. It’s amazing! Your pussy makes me feel so good!”
He was deep inside, making your head spin and core pulse. It was too much, it wasn’t enough at all. He had you crying out, making you climax before you could even think. How he was able to keep going after that, you weren’t sure. But his stamina was unmatched.
The werewolf had you all over his ground floor. His couch, table, on the kitchen counter, even the washing machine. When it was his time to erupt you were balanced on the very edge of the washing machine, legs wrapped around his waist. He was snarling, grunting, his face contorting.
“Hurry,” you whispered. “Come inside me.”
He gnashed his teeth.
“Come for me,” you whispered again.
He locked eyes with you, thrusting harder and harder until he went still. His whole body tensed. He pulsed inside. The jerk of his cock made you shudder.
“Yes!” he hissed. “I’m breeding my mate!”
You were on the pill, it was all just for show. But holy hell was that even better than you expected!
Kayden panted, pulling you off the washing machine and laying you on the clothes below. He was still stuck to you as he cuddled you, nuzzling your soft hair then kissing your cheek.
Female Main Character x Male Monster
One Bed - Hurt Comfort - I Would Die for You - Heartbroken People
(Features mentions of former sexual abuse)
As a concubine, I knew the male form well. I had seen many versions of it, large and small, strong and weak. During my service to the royal court, I had seen as many men as there were drops of rain in the sky. It was because of this I saw them all the same. It didn’t matter what color, what size, or how skilled in the bed they were. I didn’t recognize them. They were all one blur, one shape, one person.
I could have stayed and continued to enjoy the luxury I did. But where would that get me? Having children was out of the question. I took the maid root to make sure that never happened. I would stagnate, turn to the same drugs they always did, grow old and train other girls in the same craft. No. What I know ends with me. That’s why I left. I didn’t want to be a murky, scum filled pond for others to fester in. Luxury or not, I wasn’t ready to give up
The shape that is under me now is a silent, gruff creature. Serban is his name. If it were not for him, I would have died on the path. I had been too afraid to stop for long and so I was exhausted, hungry, wasting away as it was. He found me passed out by the river, him and his silly excuse of a dog. I take him now to insure my keep. After all, he is alone in these mountains, growing just barely enough for himself.
His hands are large and callused. I recognize their touch upon me. He doesn’t grab too hard, nor does he push me around. More than not, he simply keeps his hands on me.
I brush my hair after the deed. My nape is sweaty, so I pull my hair up and away from it to keep it from getting too dirty too quickly.
“Do you take no pleasure in it?” The shape asked. He was still on the bed, lounged out from my services.
“I do not need to,” I reply. “It’s your pleasure that matters.”
He let out a huff and sat up on his elbows. “I’m going hunting. I suggest you do not leave the cabin until I get back.”
Was he wanting to keep me here for good? Just until spring, he said, and the mountain path would clear. He would then take me to the strait and I would be free to live my life.
“A terrible storm is supposed to pass through the mountains. I would hate for you to get caught in it,” Serban added as he pulled up his trousers.
To be caught in a storm, to be swept away for good, what bliss. “But you’re going hunting?”
He chuckled. “I’ll be back before it gets too rough. Right now is the perfect time to go hunting as animals are out and about gathering before the storm hits.” He picked up his shirt and shook it out. “I’ll be leaving Red Dog here, just in case. He’ll look for me if I don’t come back in a timely manner.”
Red Dog had been the one to sniff me out. He looked more like a worn sock than a dog, but he was a good creature to have around, and I liked his sleepy, gentle company.
Serban’s hand was upon my shoulder and I stiffened. I set my brush down, sitting still for him. I waited for some sort of command or blow.
“I showed you where the extra logs are, right?”
I nodded in silence.
“There’s a couple of axes out there as well, if you need them.” His hand left me and he started for the other room.
I cut my eyes to the mirror, watching his great big back as he exited the door. I relaxed some, letting out a breath, then clutching my chest. At least he would be leaving. I would have a moment to read.
I wasn’t able to take much out of the palace with me, but I had taken some books that had brought me comfort there. In hindsight, I probably should have packed more food. But that doesn’t matter now.
Red Dog sat at my feet as I read at the table. The kitchen was the warmest area of the house. Adding the scent of bread baking this was the most comfortable I had felt in a long time.
Lifting his weary head, Red Dog let out a small whine.
I glanced anxiously at the door, then reached down and petted his head. “What is it, boy?” He settled once again, falling deep asleep within moments.
“I envy that power,” I muttered to him. Red Dog made me think of the zoo back at the palace. I loved it there, before the king lost his patience with the animals sleeping. “Sleep all you want,” I murmured to him. “You’ve earned it.”
The weather grew worse during the evening, and even in the morning, the winds were frightening. Red Dog stood attentively at the door, head alert, tail stiff. Nothing I could do would move him.
“Maybe he won’t come back.” I murmured as I watched out the window. All I could see was white as harsh winds blew the snow around in skin-ripping torrents. “Maybe it will be just us from here on out,” I said to the dog.
He sneezed, and I went back to the stove.
I had learned to bake bread as a passing fancy. The king thought it would be good for each of his concubines to know the skill, to cook for him in place of his usual kitchen staff. I didn’t like cooking, but I enjoyed the patience and waiting that bread required.
The door swung open, letting in snow and fury. Red Dog bounced around happily, yapping at the figure who came through the door. The shape walked in slowly, carrying something heavy across its shoulders. I hid down behind the counter, holding the bread knife tight in my hand.
“Good boy, Red Dog. Good boy.” It was Serban’s voice that came out of the shape, so I relaxed my grip upon the knife. I stood from behind the counter, watching him.
Serban struggled to take the pack off his back. “There you are.” He let out a moan of anguish. “My, my, it smells good in here.” He shrugged the large load off his back, letting it fall upon the kitchen table. Snow fell from him in sheets, having turned to ice upon his coat.
I gasped, lurching forward, searching under the freezing bundle for my book.
“Easy there, girl. It’s only wild boar.”
I glared at him, finally pulling my book to freedom. Blood spilled across the pages. My mouth hung open in horror.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Serban murmured. “I didn’t see it lying there. Here. Put some cloth between the wet pages and let it sit before the fire for a moment.”
The bright red, smearing and dulling the words on the page, made my hands shake and my insides turn to ice. I dropped the book, running away from it in fright. I went and hid, wrapping myself in a blanket and hiding in the corner between the wall and the dresser.
“Miss,” Serban’s voice called through the darkness. “I’m sorry about your book.” He came walking into the room, footsteps quiet and slow. “I uh…I don’t know what you like to read, but I have these.” He set a small stack of books down before the dresser. “I’m trying to take care of your book now. It should be alright.” He placed down a plate of my bread with butter melting into a bright red jam.
“The bread has been a treat for me,” he murmured. “But we need to conserve the flour we’ve got. I won’t be able to get anymore until the thaw.”
I remained silent.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured in a gentle voice. He got up and left, leaving the door ajar. Just enough that Red Dog could poke his head in and trot into the room.
I reached out for the bread, taking a bite and picking. The jam was tart, a hint of cinnamon, then a small wave of heat.
Red Dog plopped down beside me, sniffing and licking the melted butter dripping down my hand.
After I ate, I went to stand but remembered the books. They looked ragged! Worn to death. I took a book, which was worn from countless readings. It was poetry and short stories about the Spice Country.
I peeked out into the kitchen, seeing Serban slumped over the kitchen table, sleeping. I quietly stepped out, intending to get more bread, then go to bed. The old floors creaked as I stepped upon them.
Red Dog suddenly let out a loud, terrifying bark.
Serban sat up with alarm, looking around the room, then directly at me. “Oh, you’re out.”
I went rigid again, holding my arms before me and nodding.
“Stop that,” he grunted, holding his foggy head. “You don’t need to behave like that around me.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like I’m going to hit you if you don’t behave!” He huffed, standing up from the table. “I’m not. I’m only going to touch you when it feels good.”
I averted my eyes.
Serban stood before me. “I ask for your company because it is cold up here and the only companionship is my dog. That bed in there is big and having you in it settles my nerves.”
I nodded in silence.
“Speak up! Do you have any feelings about it?”
I pressed my lips together in a firm line.
Serban sighed. “What do you plan to do out there by yourself?” When I didn’t answer, he let out a long, heavy sigh. “Did you like the books?”
I lifted my eyes to him.
“They belonged to my wife. I haven’t looked at them in ages.” He walked around me, heading to the bedroom. “I hope you enjoy them.”
I followed him, watching as he took off his clothes. I followed suit, removing my sweater, my tunic, dropping my skirt upon the ground. Serban got into bed and I crawled under the blankets with him. I pressed myself against his body, letting my skin grow warm.
Serban growled. “What are you doing?”
“What we agreed upon.” I stroked my palm down his body, feeling how strong and hairy he was.
He took hold of my hand. “I’m tired. I just want to rest. That’s enough for me tonight.” He placed my hand over his chest.
My fingers tensed. “What is?”
A strange laugh left his lips. “Holding me. Cuddling me.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that, so I laid there, quiet, and pressed against him. Eventually, I drift to sleep, holding Serban’s colossal frame.
I woke up in the morning to find him holding me. I remain still, too afraid to stir should his arms come down around me and crush me. But his grasp was weak, as he was still asleep. The way his arms held me was more protective than it was possessive. I crept out of them, standing and looking down upon him. He was deep asleep.
“Strange,” I said to myself. I stepped back into the kitchen, finding my book sitting before the woodstove. The soiled pages had bits of cloth between them to keep them from sticking together. Blood blotted most of the pages where I had been reading. What remained was brown and hard.
I took it to the table, testing the pages to see how stiff they were. Red Dog shuffled out from the bedroom, flopping down before the woodstove now that it was free.
“How is it?”
I jumped in my seat, looking up as Serban’s shape stepped into the kitchen. “Fine,” I mumbled. “You did a good job.”
“Good. I’m glad.” He sounded shy, something I was familiar with in my line of work. He stepped out of the bedroom further. “I hope the other books will be good for you, too.”
“Where did you get the Spice Country book?” I asked.
His shape shifted in a way that made him seem shocked. “Oh well uh…my wife was originally from there. I met her when I was a soldier.”
I tilted my head to the side. Why would anyone leave the Spice Country for this snowy hellscape? “She left Spice Country for you?”
Serban laughed, placing his hand around his stomach. “You say it so bluntly! Actually, no, I left my home for her. We lived in Spice Country for a long while.” He came towards the table, taking a seat across from me.
I tilted my head to the side, watching his shape lower into the chair. “Then how did you come here?”
He sighed heavily. “Grief.”
I shifted my eyes away. I didn’t know how to respond to that. “Must have been devastating.”
He nodded, running his fingers through his curly hair.
Wait.
Curly hair?
“I lost both her and my child,” he admitted. He spoke in a torn and pained, yet somehow relieved, voice. “After I buried them, I came here.”
I only shot fleeting glances at him, just to read his expression. “Was she young?”
“She was. Even if she wasn’t, it was still too soon.” He let out a sigh. “I’ve not told anyone that.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Who is there up here to tell?”
He chuckled, his long, dark curls fell over the blur of his face. “I suppose you’re right. Before you showed up, I was deeply lonely.”
“I was feeling smothered.” This, I offered this freely. I was glad to get it out.
He nodded, letting out a breath. “Well, out here, it’s just the three of us. You’re free to tell me to fuck off.”
I shook my head. “I owe you for saving my life. The least I can do is lie with you.”
His brow furrowed, and I wasn’t sure if he was angry or concerned. “You don’t have to if-”
“I want to,” I interrupted him quickly. “There’s not much use for me, really. I’m not a good cook. All I know is bread. I’m not a wonderful housekeeper either. But I know bodies. I know fucking. I can perform that job very well.”
“Yes, well…” He sounded shy again. “You do. Are-” he cleared his throat.
I stood up. “Let me thank you for fixing my book.”
Serban looked away from me. His tusk raised as his jaw went tight. “You don’t have to.”
“Please.” I knelt down between his thighs, undoing the ties on his pants and tugging them down. His large, green staff had mottled specks of purple and brown, and thick veins bulged along the side. His tip was bulbous and purple, even while soft. I took him into my mouth, letting him warm upon my tongue. He grows thicker, harder and I move my head, sucking what my mouth can take and stroking what bit of his large member doesn’t fit.
“Miss,” he snarled.
He was growing thicker, more rigid. I hadn’t sucked him before, but I knew how massive he felt inside me. I kept bobbing my head, working my way up to pressing his tip into my throat.
“Look at me,” he growled.
I flicked my eyes up, seeing first his long curls cascading down his face. He cupped his rough hands around my head, keeping my head up so I had to look at him. His face was amorphous to me, shifting, blurring, never visible. But for a brief flash, I saw dark eyes, a crooked nose. But I blinked, and they were gone.
Serban took himself from my mouth and laid me on the kitchen table. I waited to feel him inside me instead. His hands spread me open, and he placed kisses on my belly and thighs. What was he doing?
Then his tongue touched me, going between my lips, briefly inside me. His fingers touched my clit and I let out a gasp.
“No-” I whined, trying to prop myself up.
His lips kissed my clit next, followed by the warmth of his tongue.
“That feels strange.” I reached down, grabbing his curls. “What are you doing?”
His finger slipped inside, tickling me at first, then it crooked inside, hitting a spot that made me jerk in reaction.
“Serban!” I fussed, pulling his curls.
He placed another finger inside me, stroking that spot and making my breath shudder. His tongue on my clit lapped harder, kissing, suckling. I pushed his head down. Maybe I could make him stop. But his fingers went faster, harder.
I was dizzy, gasping for breath. His fingers snagged tighter into his hair. I fell back against the table, spinning faster and faster. Then my body wracked, tensing, relaxing, pulsing until it all released. I cried out as everything inside me, knotted up and tortured, and undone. I came, for the first time in years, I came and it was hard.
“There.” Serban sat up, licking his fingers clean. “How did that feel?”
I wasn’t sure. It had been so long since I had that sort of release. It was almost painful.
Serban laid his heavy, long staff upon my belly. “How about a little more?”
“Wait-” I panted, trying to rise, but my exhaustion and weakness prevented movement. My lashes fluttered, seeing the massive orc above me.
An orc?
Serban penetrated me, making my already sensitive channel ache with the pleasure of being stretched. I cried out, whimpering.
“You know the male form, do you? Well, I know the feminine one,” he panted. “I have been out of practice for so long I might as well be a virgin again. But you remind me what it feels like.”
Why did his thick orc cock have to feel so good? Why now? Why couldn’t I just do my job and have him fall asleep? Why was I being pleasured? Aroused?
“That’s it,” he moaned. “Take me deeper. Want me.”
No! I don’t want to want any man!
“Fuck,” he snarled. “Being inside you is like being in a goddess.”
I sniffled.
“Power, warmth, love, fear,” he moaned. “I want to worship you inside and out when you’re wrapped around me like this.”
Tears broke through and fell down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry, Miss.” he wiped up my tears, bending over to kiss my cheeks and neck. “I’m not that good.”
I couldn’t explain to him how empty I had been, so devoid of feeling that I had taken no thought to my sensations down there. Why now? Why here?
His warmth flowed through me, making me shudder again, although weaker than before. His seed was thick, dripping slowly from my folds as I laid there sobbing on the table. Serban picked me up, holding me in his arms.
“It’s alright, Miss. Shh. It’s alright,” he whispered comfortingly to me.
There came an afternoon where everything was peaceful. Birds began flying overhead again, signaling the coming spring. Serban took me out with Red Dog, hoping to find a rabbit coming out of their dens.
I was wandering about, keeping close while doing my thing. As I was picking snow flowers from around the bases of trees, I saw two men on the horizon. I looked around, anxiously searching for Serban, but he had gotten out of my reach while I wasn’t paying attention.
I looked back, seeing the men talking, then pointing my way. I darted back into the trees, hoping to see Serban somewhere. The men were wearing bright yellow, the colors of the king’s court. I could be mistaken, but I didn’t want to take any chances. That yellow covered my nightmares.
I tripped on a branch hidden by the snow, falling over with a yelp. I could hear the men behind me coming up close.
“Hello! Young lady!”
I looked at the stick jutting out of the ground, the one I tripped on. I would rather shove it through my eye than have those men see me.
“You there.” A hand grabbed me as I was reaching for the stick. “We’ve been calling you. Isn’t it rude to ignore someone?” he wrenched my hand back, forcing me to look up at him and his mate. I couldn’t see their faces, but I could see that yellow. Their cloaks, the bands around their arms, even the rings in their ears.
No! They worked for the king!
I froze up, angry beyond measure, frightened more than that.
“She looks familiar, doesn’t she?” The shape holding me laughed.
I knew that laugh, that wheezing, grating, half-man of a laugh. He’d bedded me before. He liked to hit girls. No. More than that. He wanted to torture girls.
“I know those eyes,” he laughed again. His hand grabbed my face. “I think we found her. The king’s been right pissed with you missing!” His grip pinched my cheeks, gripping my jaw hard.
The other one was coming up beside me, kneeling down to pick me up. I swung the stick, unaware of how big it was. It cracked both of them upside the head. His hand released me, but I knew I had had a moment to act. I was up on my feet, about to run, when he grabbed my hair and pulled as hard as he could until he dragged me along the ground.
“No, you don’t!” The one snarled. He stood over me, then kicked me in the side.
“Take it easy.” The other one said.
“She attacked us! And as long as she’s alive when we bring her back, we’ve done our job.” He spit on the ground. “He said it doesn’t matter what condition we bring her back in. We could do what we wanted to her.” He yanked my hair, shaking me. “Look at her, no one would notice anyway with a face like that!” Again, there was that nasty, wheezing laugh.
The other one was hesitant. “She’s still the property of the king.”
The wheezing one scoffed. “She’s not a queen. She’s a concubine. And an older one at that.”
“But what if she ain’t alone out here?” The other one was trying too hard. It didn’t matter to me, they were the same.
“A whore like her? Ha!” The wheezing man laughed. “Look at her? Who would look after someone like her? She’s cold. She’s mean. There’s no chance she found anyone worth their salt in these-” There was silence as an arrow went through the head of the other shape.
The wheezing man stood there in stunned silence, then began fumbling with his belt, trying to get his sword. Red Dog was snarling. He came up beside me, his teeth bared, his eyes fixed. I did not know that the gentle dog could look so vicious. He stood over me, protecting me as the wheezing man brought forth his sword. He lunged. So did Red Dog, who evaded his sword, then grabs hold of his leg, biting hard enough to pull him down.
Serban appeared, his bow and arrow at his side. “Are you alright?” He sounded filled with fire and brimstone. He sounded like hell itself coming from the earth.
I sniffled, shakily nodding my head.
The wheezing man was screaming while Red Dog took care of him.
Serban pressed his forehead to mine. “I’ll be right back to take you home.” He stood and went towards the screaming. “Good boy Red Dog. Down. Down I said.”
The wheezing man was still screaming, agonized, bleeding. I could see the steam rising from where he lay as his blood spilled into the snow.
Serban knelt down towards the man. “She is mine,” he snarled. There was a sick, wet squelch as his fist came down upon the man’s head.
A soldier, he said. Serban had been a soldier.
He stood from the snow, wiping his fist on his pants. He turned and looked at me, his eyes dark, face set like stone. His tusks came out from his thick bottom lip and he licked blood from the tip of one. His brows were thick, one cut in half by a long scar that was like a crescent moon on the left of his face.
Red Dog came panting and smiling at my side, covered in the blood from the wheezing man.
“Take her back home, Red Dog,” Serban growled. “I’ll deal with this mess.”
I stood, holding my side, and silently followed Red Dog back to the house. A task he seemed so proud to do. He knocked open the door for me, standing there as I went inside.
“It’s cold,” I murmured.
I added wood to the fire, then warmed some water to clean Red Dog. My hands were shaking the whole time. Red Dog remained posted at the door. That was a creature I would have thought wouldn’t hurt a fly. But he mauled that man! Probably would’ve killed him if Serban hadn’t stopped him.
By the time Red Dog was clean, he went and waited at the door, wagging his tail until it opened. Serban stepped inside, closing the door silently behind him. His eyes met mine, and I took in his harsh, dire expression.
“No one will find them.” He said, stripping off his cloak. “No one will find you.” He grabbed my arm, pulling me close to him and kissing me. The events that had transpired shook me. His kiss was the last thing I expected. Serban broke the kiss, grabbed the back of my head, then pressing his forehead into mine again.
“Why would you do that?” I breathed.
He growled, thumb running up and down my cheek. “Kill them or kiss you?”
I blinked tears from my eyes. “Either.”
Serban sniffed, standing erect again. “The same reason.” His jaw was stiff, eyes watery and red. He also noticed how I was looking at him. “What is it?”
“I’ve never noticed before.” I traced my fingertips along the bridge of his hooked nose.
His nostrils flared. “Noticed what?”
“How handsome you are.” He had always been a blur to me, a shadow, much like any other man. But I saw him, clear as day. Crooked nose, thick brows, dark eyes. Serban was an attractive orc.
He sighed. “Yes, well, thank you. But you’re the beautiful one in this house. I should, um…go wash up.” He looked embarrassed, slightly purple around his eyes and ears. He walked away, going towards the back where the pump was.
I followed him, watching him take his clothes off, then wash the blood from his hands. My eyes took in the lines of his body, his strong, hairy chest, broad shoulders, thick arms. I stepped in closer until he noticed my presence.
“You should rest, Miss,” he grumbled, embarrassed.
I tilted my head towards my shoulder. “What did you do to them?”
He scoffed, using a bar of soap to scrub his arms. “I burnt the clothes. Then I tossed the bodies off a cliff. No one will find them.”
“Good.” I said with a sigh of relief.
“He’s wrong about you,” he growled. “The laughing one.” He was scrubbing harder at his body, frustrated, angry. “The way he talked about you. Held you like that-”
“Stop.” I grabbed his soapy hand, so he did not clean himself raw.
He stilled, averting his eyes. “I’ve not felt this way since my wife. I don’t know how to control myself in that state.”
I glanced down at his lap, then back into his eyes. “When you’re done, come to me in the bedroom. Let me thank you.”
Serban's brow pinched, uncertain. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Not for that,” I murmured. “For calling me beautiful.”
He looked into my eyes, deep, penetrating.
Laying in bed, I touched myself as I imagined him inside me. The thought of what I may do to him, of how I may make him come deep within me. I shuddered, sinking my fingers inside myself to feel an ounce of the pleasure he gave me before. I was slick, quivering, ready for his touch as he came into the room.
I looked over bleary eyes at him, reaching for him as he came naked to the bed. He knelt down on the bed, stroking my hair away from my face, then cupping my cheek in his strong, rough palm.
“Beautiful,” he whispered.
Tears came to my eyes, and he kissed me.
I pulled him on top of me, begging him inside, pleading. I had wanted no one like I wanted him before. No man, no woman. I scared me how much I needed his touch.
“You’ll be mine,” he growled. “Forever.”
I sniffled, large tears rolled down my cheek. I was his already. How could I leave him now when he would kill for me?
“All mine.” He pressed against me, slipping inside.
It took my breath away. I had grown so used to being used, but this was different. It was something I needed, not something forced upon me. Serban was what I wanted.
“And yours,” he breathed. “I will be all yours.”
I gazed up into his eyes, sniffling still. He smiled, leaning down to kiss me as he filled me. It wasn’t just his cock. It was everything else. His warmth, his eyes, his touch. He filled me to the brim, overwhelmed by emotions I had long buried. I clung to him, holding him tight as he moved inside me. My fingers studied his strong back. Muscles and scars, coarse hair. Something about touching him turned me on further.
“That’s right, hold on to me. Don’t let go,” he growled. His hips moved hard. I could feel his sack hitting against my ass. I didn’t want him to leave me, I wanted him to stay inside me always. There was never a man I was secure with like him. How was it that now I had never felt so safe? So loved?
“I’ll come if you keep squeezing like that,” he snarled.
“Then do it,” I panted. “Fill me. Give me everything. Leave it all inside me. Please!” I was still crying, still holding fast to him.
“Not yet,” he breathed. “First…you-” He held my hips, so he struck that place inside. I cried out, moaning into his shoulder, biting. I licked his skin, kissed his neck, I buried myself into the curls of his hair.
“That’s it! Good girl!” His voice was turning raw. “Beautiful girl. Have me any way you like.”
“Serban-” my voice squeaked.
I could feel him bristle, his muscles tensing more. His hips swung deeper. “Yes! Say it again.”
“Serban. Serban,” I panted.
“Beautiful. So fucking beautiful,” he snarled into my ear, biting down upon my neck.
A cry escaped my lips and my thighs locked tighter around his waist. My fingers dug into his back. “Serban! Oh, my goddess. Don’t stop!”
He pressed me harder into the bed. “Come for me, beautiful woman. Come for me!”
That sensation swept through me again. Tensing, turning, spinning so fast. And then it all relaxed, a wash of warmth through my body, my bones, my mind. He snarled then, filling me until there was nowhere else to go. Overflowing. I was overflowing.
Serban kissed me, moaning softly against my lips. I took him again that night, and again, and again. I couldn’t get enough of him. Body, soul, and mind, I wanted all of him within me.
Come spring, the thaw revealed the deep, lush green of the mountain. Caravans began passing through the mountain along the trail near the house. I was watching from the window one afternoon, spotting a bright red wagon cover through the trees.
“The path is clear now,” Serban said. He glanced down at me, studying me. “Do you want to go?”
I smiled as I pet Red Dog at my feet. “Just for flour.”
Serban chuckled in relief. “Right. I miss your bread.” He reached out, taking my hand, and I squeezed it back.
