Kristen Kemp Word Gangster

I have no idea how to use Tumblr so watch me fuck it up.

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What happens when you reflexively kick your chicken after it bites your foot off? It attacks you and makes you bleed. Doesn't this hen look delicious?

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I'll never get my legs together. No joked please. But we will be home this afternoon.

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Santa is real. These people believe.

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Pilates teaser pose is way better than boat. The low back is supported and hip flexors don't overwork. I think we should all revolt against boat. #pilatesvsyoga #yoga #pilates

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An advanced yoga pose

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I woke up like this. That skeezy black hen photo bomber can kiss my tail feathers. --Fat Mama

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Up since 5:30 a.m. for 2 minutes of awesome. Waiting for Montclair Bulldog scores, but don't care really. So much sweet my teeth hurt. #bringit #montclairpopwarner #northjerseycheerleaderbowtotoe (at Elizabeth High School)

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Up since 5:30 am for two minutes of awesome. Fingers crossed for good Montclair Bulldog scores. #bringit #montclairpopwarner

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Chicken psychic: She knows when I'm upset. She seems very concerned this morning, and she's clinging to me while I drink my coffee. Maybe her poultry powers sense that we are off to Johan's dad's funeral in Savannah. Honest to Christ, this has been the worst summer ever with loved ones so sick and dying. Awful things have happened. But our lives are lined with love, and time will heal our heartaches. In the meantime, fire your shrink and get a psychic chicken. Or just come to visit mine. #chickenyoga

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Home is where your chicks are!

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Namaste Seth and Ali. You throw a most excellent and perfect party! Goodbye sweet @gardenstateyoga Hello new friend @powerflowyoganj

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Confidence boost for today's yoga classes. What would #beyonce do? She'd crow pose, handstand and savasana her assless pants off. (I'll just stick to my #lululemon today.) #yogaeverydamnday

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Balance is my yoga super power. What is yours? Well, second behind falling. #stopanddropyoga @jeffposner @yulady @gardenstateyoga @mishahajj @nickgyoga

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My name is Snoop Chickie Chicken, and I don't give a cluck. #chickenyoga #hangover

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I am Poopy McDoodleface. I am proud. People like me. #chickenpride #chickenyoga #justbeyou #growingpains #happymorning

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People are surprised when I tell them we are not doing any summer camp. Estelle is just too busy for it. And summer flies by so fast. #yogachicken #lemonade

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Such chirpy attitudes this morning. #yogachicken