rants & raves @kristinetheobald - Tumblr Blog

Love. ❤️💚💙💜💛

I have a knife at my desk for cutting up my apples. People are a little afraid of me now.

Morning! (at Lake St Clair)

Some people just don't get it. If I hear "I said I'm sorry one more time..." #sorrynotsorry

I guess I am going through a rough patch.

I've been abandoned by everyone who has ever claimed they loved me. It sounds melodramatic, I know... and maybe abandoned is a tough word. How about this... I've been left behind. Boyfriends, friends, siblings, parents, and family. Today I am truly alone and there is nobody I can trust. What I want is a hug and for someone to say "I'll always be here for you as long as I am breathing." It's a lot to ask, but it's something I have wanted and needed my whole life. I've learned to rely on myself a lot and I am capable of going through hard times on my own. The problem is that I am tired of being alone, and I want someone to share my life with. I'm ready to let myself be vulnerable in a way I've never been. The person that I had hoped would be there for me is wavering and I don't blame him. Loving someone who needs it so badly is a lot of pressure. Especially when life happens. My heart hurts and I feel so lost. These are dark times.

Father's day ramble...

Father's day is rough for me. I see all of the posts in tribute to fathers both dead and alive thanking them for their contribution to their lives. I see partners posting about how their husbands are wonderful fathers and how they are the rock of the family. These posts are great, but are hard for me to read without some bittersweet emotions running through me. I am in the middle of a divorce, and in the phase of the breakup where the sound of my soon-to-be ex chewing, breathing, and/or existing is tremendously annoying. He is my son's father so he'll always be part of my life, but never again will he be able to put me through the ringer. The bigger part of this is my own complicated relationship with my recently deceased father. He is a big part of why I can't trust people... why I feel that no one can truly love me. My brother and mom make him out to be something wonderful but I only saw glimpses of that side of him. It makes me feel so alone and disconnected because I alone am having these feelings... and there is no one out there who will ever know what it felt like except me. I was the one who got the emotional and physical abuse. I was the one pushed down the stairs because I didn't want to go to sleep. I was the one told I should just go be a whore because I couldn't get straight As. I was the one thrown through the ringer when he abandoned me with a woman I could barely stand... the one who was berated by email and letter about abandoning him. My father was a sick man... mentally and physically. He never knew his father and the rest of his family abandoned him while his step father physically and emotionally abused him and his mom. I understand why my dad did the things he did, and why he had so much sadness and anger inside... but the little girl inside me still just wishes he was my daddy who could love me and take care of me like I deserve. I don't really know what the point of all of this is... but it feels good to get it out.

#emotional abuse #fathersday #anger #depression #confused

Because this is news.... (at Bob Maxey Lincoln)

messing around.

Green Dot!!!!!!!!! (at Green Dot Stables)

geekandsundry

#TRUTH

kristinetheobald

Haha. Just... Hahahahahahahahaha.

Henry JUICEEEE!

Brain Zaps && Mood Swings

I read what brain zaps are, and thought I understood what I was getting into. I was not prepared for the utter weirdness and how disoriented they make me feel. Today is the first day where things are less shitty, but the mood swings are the worst.

Overall, I think I’m still doing the right thing, it’s just scary when you have to deal with symptoms that have no cure except to wait an unspecified period of time.

#lexapro

Friday selfie time. Let's kick today's ass!

Love this one

Creepy faces of me!

Someone has a big boy bed and he loves it!

#funwithsnapchat

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