[krrcherr]

There is an American woman who lives in Ibri who seems to basically be part of the town's lore. Everyone knows of her but no one seems to know many specific details about her life. She is American and a convert to Islam and has lived in Ibri for over 20 years. She is married to an Omani man, wears a niqab, and speaks Omani dialect fluently. I met her today and found out her family is originally from Bloomington, Indiana and one of her sons (who grew up in Ibri) is a student at the University of Kentucky. Wtf are the chances, i am like in awe of how small the world is

[krrcherr]

a desert wind whispers to us: “the land is greedy. the land will not repent.”

at night, once-hopeful mothers weep for children lost winding through dunes of sand, tumbling down hills of stone, toward some unknown-

at dawn you can begin to see the edge of the desert but there is no sight or sound of life. we can feel ourselves being enveloped by something dangerous, something painful. suffocating our entire bodies. we do not know yet that this is because the truth is more powerful than our fear.

the wind taps my shoulder and says, “do you understand now? the feeling? like something is dying inside of you?”

i stare toward the void and the rays of sun pierce my eyes. sweat develops around my hairline, slowly coats my face i feel my head pulsating thoughts wandering with the children, wondering with the mothers- w h e r e a r e y o u ?

they say this place used to be an oasis.

harsh sun softened by encroaching darkness and passing time, replaced by ethereal crescent moon a reminder of what-we-gave-up a reminder of what-we-have-still reminder of you, knowledge that you can look toward the same moon and that one day soon it will be full.

[krrcherr]

This is the first night spent without you. And far from you, I must face 30 nights, 30 nights spent as though I wander through an unending desert. I will sit on a boulder opposite my family’s house and I will speak to you. I am confident that you will hear me. I trust that the harsh desert winds and the electrical currents that travel through the ether and the sudden daydreams that fall upon you will carry my words to you. Waves of folly emanating from my lovesick heart will crash and break against your shorelines. When you sleep, you will place your arm where I placed my head on the pillow, as if I am there with you. When you wake up, you will hear me whispering “Good morning.” It is for this that I yearn. It is for this that I listen to the air. I hear your sweet voice ringing clearly and you say to me: “I am happy though you are gone—but do not grow too happy away from me. Remember that I grow thin waiting here for you.

Tayeb Salih, “A Letter to Eileen”

[krrcherr]

realized while i was crying

while listening to busman’s holiday

in oman

that i am the only person in the world

to have ever been in that position, exactly.

[krrcherr]

[krrcherr]

!

[krrcherr]

when i was four i wished on a dandelion that i would be a princess, but my grandfather is the only person in the world who ever called me one. it's hard to imagine my family without him, but 82 years of life and 60 years of marriage is definitely something to be thankful for. rest in peace ❤️

[iloveretro]

Visit Original Link

[krrcherr]

recent home jams

[krrcherr]

time is a construct, you say to make me feel better

dog, work, me, you, constructs too

and home is a construct but that doesn't make it less real

staying or leaving may be the same but it's still a choice

everything has to end sometime

we are constantly searching for clues to figure out what time is 'sometime'

as if there is some objective truth

alice reminds me every fifteen minutes how much time has passed

until today, i did not realize how quickly time was passing,

how ruthlessly it would leave us behind,

but somehow i still have trouble waking up

if i could set an alarm for 'sometime' i would probably press the snooze button

if i could i would press the snooze button in may and wake up when a decision was made for me

but maybe my phone would die and i guess i would too

i'm sorry that my biotin vitamins have gelatin in them

but i think growth is more important to me than animal bones

until today, our hair was growing long together

but everything has to end sometime

unless it doesn't

[rock-will-survive]

[krrcherr]

spending lots of time with creatures i love these days

[a90sblog]

Visit Original Link

[krrcherr]

Third Eye Blind | Losing A Whole Year

[krrcherr]

[krrcherr]

leave me alone

[krrcherr]

occasionally realize(re-realize) how happy i am in bloomington / i feel mentally done with school, so glad to only have a semester left, so excited at the prospect of living here for a year without academic responsibilities, even though staying here is what i have always told myself i wouldn't do / i keep thinking of six-year-old me who was determined to be a gymnast, nine-year-old me who was so sure she wanted to be an equine vet, eleven-year-old me who wanted to be a marine biologist, sixteen-year-old me who wanted to be a journalist(which i still mostly do) / but i am trying to learn to be honest with myself, i am trying not to simply fulfill roles in life that i feel are expected of me / and if i am honest with myself, i do not want to go to grad school right now, i do not want to move somewhere new for some abstract(nonexistent) job that is waiting for me / all i want is to live here with people i love doing things i love / maybe nine-year-old me crying about her future would be disappointed to learn that twenty-one-year-old me would feel ok with getting a low wage job or two which may or may not be related to my interests and simply living for a while / but i am trying to be honest and i feel being here is what i want. i want a break, i want time to figure things out, i want to be, in peace, in love, here.

[krrcherr]

look, pay attention

these christmas lights have been up all year, but

people did not notice them

until december.

[krrcherr]

why is it so hard for us to be honest?

a thousand unspoken dialogues writhing in my mind

words gathering in the space between my teeth and lips,

words that i know will only be spoken

between myself and myself, looking into my own eyes in the mirror

i will speak these dialogues to myself until i no longer feel i must speak them to you

with you, i will keep my lips sealed tight as the mason jar

filled with flowers i wish to give to you but somehow cannot-

even kindness feels too honest to share.

i remember the time i brought a lover tea from india and felt too small to ever give it to him,

i remember picking up swedish fish at the store and leaving them on the windshield of his car hoping he wouldn't think it was trash or random coincidence,

that he could assemble this puzzle out of all of the tiny pieces i delicately placed in his spaces.

honesty takes trust and trust takes time and time takes time like erin says but sometimes time is not strong enough to build a ladder for me to climb and finally reach you, to touch your face without fear, to say "i love you," shower you with the gifts that have been slowly accumulating in my heart since you first said hello to me

this is how my heart has come to be so full yet the space from my hand to your hand is infinite and looking into your eyes still burns.