Exposing BoyfriendAudio/K
For those who don’t know, K is a voice actor on YouTube and Patreon who creates boyfriend roleplay asmr audios. Some of the behavior exhibited by him and his community is concerning, and below are some observations and anecdotal evidence of his neglect to create a safe community for his listeners.
Not Dealing with Racism in his Community
An incident occurred in January 2021 after a white listener asked for a comfort for racism audio under his sound off post on Patreon and K agreed to it. Some WOC listeners felt uncomfortable with the audio idea:
This conversation happened outside of K’s platforms, but it should be noted that redacted in black is someone K knows very well and willingly associated with, and they were racist to WOC listeners
Redacted in black used an angry tone with them and they were gaslit by her as she told them to “calm down” when trying explain legitimate concerns about the audio idea
K was told about the situation and he described the racism as “not quite that cut and dry” in an email to another listener. He has recently claimed to have removed the listener who was racist but it still shows that he is pledged to him on Patreon. You can tell who is pledged on the Patreon app as there is a red flag next to their name, and her flag is still there
No Moderators for His Platforms
K is one of the biggest VAs on YouTube and has the most patrons for an erotic audio creator on Patreon. He has a lot of followers and with that comes the responsibility to create a safe space for those in his community, especially on Patreon where people are supporting him financially. He has no moderators that he has disclosed for either platform, and it has allowed for very concerning and hostile messages to be shared. On YouTube, there have been disturbing audio requests and parasocial behavior exhibited by young listeners. On Patreon, there was a transphobic comment on one of his q&a’s that remained there for over a year. If K does not have the time to be proactive and moderate his comments, he needs to find moderators to do it for him because the lack of moderation has created a community that does not feel safe and welcoming for many viewers.
Dismissive of Triggers
K posted an audio on Patreon that some viewers were triggered by as his behavior felt coercive and manipulative to them. His reply to those listeners who voiced their feelings is that he would “take down the audio if enough people feel the same way.” How many people need to be reminded of trauma in order for action to be done? Regardless, those listeners were just asking for trigger warnings for the audio, not for it to be taken down. However, because he offered to take the audio down, this created hostility towards the listeners who felt uncomfortable or triggered by the audio from those who enjoyed it. The listeners who enjoyed the audio continued to defend it and argue with those who felt triggered. It became so hostile that some listeners had to leave the platform entirely as they no longer felt safe in the community. K originally added a trigger warning: “aggressive” which many listeners felt was too vague. He ignored the hostile comments for two days until some listeners emailed him asking him to make a statement that constructive criticism is welcome, which he did as well as adding “demanding” to the trigger warning. Even though K did what was asked of him, the problem is that the listeners shouldn’t even have to ask for these things. These are paying listeners who should not have to be reminded of trauma when listening to an audio. Even if he didn’t realize how he came across, his inaction when the comments against those who were triggered became hostile was very disappointing. When there are a lot of arguments in the comments like there were on this audio, the creator needs to be paying close attention to the comments to make sure they are respectful, engaging in the conversation, and making a statement addressing everything and apologizing to listeners who felt triggered. Instead, those who were triggered had to defend themselves in the comments and had to ask him to make a statement.
The hostility unfortunately did not remain on his platform, and someone made an anonymous account on Instagram to harass a listener who was triggered by the audio. When this listener decided to post about it on the community section of Patreon, her post was deleted by K. She also wrote a comment on that audio about the harassment she experienced, and here is how K responded:
We understand that groups outside the community are not moderated, but K isn’t even making an effort to moderate inside his own platforms. This listener would likely have not been harassed in the first place if K had handled the situation properly by apologizing to triggered listeners and setting the expectation that comments need to remain respectful to each other, and any hostile behavior in the comment section will be deleted. Instead, he only adds his P.S. statement when he’s asked by listeners and includes this PSA almost two weeks after the audio was posted. The topic of trigger warnings was being “spammed” because he wasn’t moderating the comments and allowed people to invalidate the trauma of those who were triggered by the audio. The conversation and hostility wouldn’t have lasted as long as it did if he took action quickly. In addition, this statement should have been a separate post itself so that his patrons would receive a notification and more of them would read it, rather than being added on at the end of a two week-old audio.
This post is not here to “cancel” K but rather to shed light on what is going on in his community and to urge him to do better. This could have been resolved privately as there have been multiple emails sent to K regarding these issues, but unfortunately no action was done. We feel that the public deserves to know about these issues, and you as potential listeners and supporters of BoyfriendAudio can decide what you take away from this information. Thank you for taking the time to read this if you made it this far.