"I was a coward. I was weak."

vent account !! (and just for stuff i dont wanna post on my main account)

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intro post

hey guys im K, or you can call me Kaye, and this is my vent account !! for all things vent, me when i need to vent <3 and also js some information, im nonbinary and go by they/them but im afab !!

im a minor !! i am suicidal and quite sensitive about things im kind of a cry baby i am a mean person, in a way? i try not to be but i dont sugar coat things and ive realized that is seen as mean im aroace and omnisexual but leaning more towards aroace, and i think i may be aceflux? so i may post some kinky things just because i want to but if you dont wanna see it, block #kaye's horny thoughts and any nsfw stuff will also be under #mod is a minor advice is helpful but please dont be mean about it or like just scold me about stuff, im very sensitive i struggle with social anxiety, anxiety in general, depression (well, maybe? idk if that would be the right word), suicidal thoughts, etc etc, ill add more if i can think of anything

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honestly i might kill myself but just not tell anyone so they dont know if im dead or not, they'll never know when i do end my life

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lowkey what if i kill myself cause who would gaf anyways no one actually loves me or cares for me and im pretty sure im everyone's back up, the friend who is there when the friends they actually like are busy, heh !! i bet you tomorrow no one is gonna even ask me if im feeling alright or tell me that they love me cause who would do that !! im just kaye, no one special, a failure even

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sometimes i wish people checked up on me to see how i was doing but when i even think about venting i suddenly am that 11 year old again getting yelled at by my mom for venting to my friend about my dog dying wondering if them saying they tried to kill themself because of that was true, suddenly im that 11 year old again crying to my mom asking her to stop yelling and that i didnt mean it and that i wouldnt do it again, im terrified if i vent to someone i know, theyll blame me for their attempt too, im a good person, i swear, im trying so hard to be what they want me to be, but i feel like every door is closing on me and im all alone again.

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i feel like a attention seeker bro like i genuinely yearn for people to randomly compliment me cause i #feeluglyasf 💔

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guys im starting to think i should #loseweight cause i lowkey feel really ugly, like i feel like a fat pig when everyone else i know is so pretty :( do i start trying to lose weight so i dont look as ugly

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idk why since im nonbinary but #someonecallmegoodgirl WHOOO SAID THAT

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i #lovecryingoverstupidthings heh im so embarrassing and pathetic

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imagine this taps my head, sitting on your bed and having someone use one hand to hold down your hip well the other one is fingering you and they are cooing at you WOAHHHH giggle idk why i think of these things if i ever have sex someday or do anything sexual i doubt ill be a bottom/sub cause im bigger then most people i meet except for a couple of people lmao

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when i know im #chopped so i just accept the fate that my crush will #neverlikemeback SIGH

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i feel like my crush knows i have a crush on them and im #pathetic like what if they like someone else omg CRIESSSSS anyways #mycrushneedstoaskmeout

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sigh i hate yearning

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this isnt even really yearning this is just a thought idk why if you guys know the song im your man by leonard cohen, i #wouldletsomeonetreatmethatway like omg bro, #WORSHIPME /silly

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how do i like, subtly convince my crush to ask me out

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what if when i wake up tomorrow i look in my dms and my crush confessed to me like omg bro #THEYNEEDTODOTHAT

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when the yearning hurts so bad i start crying because im actually so fucking ugly well my crush is just so amazing looking and i know even if they did like me back it wouldnt be for my looks, if you cant tell im desperate for someone to love who i am on the outside too, ive never been pretty, or handsome, or beautiful, or any of it, everytime ive ever been complimented it was just out of politeness, ill never be pretty like the other teenagers, id rather yearn and suffer silently then let my crush be with someone who isnt worth it, aka me, they could do so much better then me, i hate every single thing about me and they already have so much on their plate, i could never let them drown with me when they are already struggling, no one could ever be attracted to a fat ugly pig like me, so ill watch in silence, though i know im so selfish that if they asked me out, id fucking say yes, because god i hate being lonely, and i like them so much, i want them to be mine so badly, but i know ill never be what they deserve

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lowkey gonna go repost yearning stuff on my tiktok account that my crush doesnt have 🙏🙏