狂躁

side blog ; trauma dumping & venting ; don't read if you're in recovery

[kuangzao]

The butcher of centennial hills really did a number on my vagina... Jfc

[kuangzao]

Hope.

Hope is a dreadful thing.

[kuangzao]

He has made the worst mistake of his life.

Walking away from his son.

He will live with a heart of regret.

But I hope he finds peace within himself.

What a sad existence to be alone in this world, to chase money at consequence of losing everything else.

For no one will tolerate what I have.

No one will be as lenient and forgiving.

No one. And I pray no one will.

Because it has been hell.

[kuangzao]

I am too kind, too gentle, too caring to be half loved. To have no love. These are the best years of my life. And for what? To not receive love. To not receive kindness or warmth? That is not my problem.

I am open to giving and receiving and I have tried.

[kuangzao]

I have to believe that I am capable. I have to believe that I have what it takes. I have to believe that all of this is the right path. I have to believe that I am strong enough to make it on my own.

I am strong enough to make it on my own.

I am strong enough to make it on my own.

[kuangzao]

I have to believe in the promise of a better tomorrow

I have to have hope that better days are coming

[kuangzao]

I have to keep pushing

I have to keep running

Tomorrow is a new day

Tomorrow waits for me

[kuangzao]

I want to go to sleep and wake up and for all of this to have been a dream

[kuangzao]

FUCK

[doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251]

[kuangzao]

Must be nice having a partner who isn't a lazy selfish piece of shit and actually cares about spending quality time with his family. And who doesnt mock you when you get upset after he says he will dump you off at the park with your kid and dog while he sits in his car.

Fucking moron. Piece of fucking shit. What a fucking low life, scumbag loser. I fucking hate him. I fucking hate that I had a child with him, I hate that I am tied to him for the rest of my life. I hate him, his entire person. How he's so self absorbed and selfish. How he snips at me because he doesnt feel like walking around a fucking park so I don't have to do all of the work of taking care of OUR shared responsibilities.

What a fucking loser!!!!!!!! I fucking hate him!!!!!!!! I fucking hate that he is in my life!!!!!!!! I hate that he will abandon his child if I leave!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate how he's so fucking lazy!!!!!!!!!!

I hate how on MY birthday, he didn't get me anything but suggested we go out and buy a game that HE wants and I can watch him play it

Fuck this man entirely!!!!!!!! Fuck this man ENTIRELY!!!!!!!!!!

I have the lowest of the low standards and his behavior makes that so fucking obvious!!!!!!! I don't want him near my family, I don't want him near my family home. I want him to live his fucking days walking this earth alone and consumed in his own ego that he fucks up every relationship that comes his way, as he has done for the past 32 years.

Fuck this man, fuck him forever. I hate him so fucking much!!!! I hope he dies and leaves everything to his son and so his son can grow up thinking he was a respectable man, not some out of shape, lazy, scheming, loser. Fuck this man FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[babydollgrunge]

[curiousmiscellanies-blog]

Kees van Dongen -   La femme aux chats (1912)

[bushakiye]

[lifeinpoetry]

I [forgive] myself for loving

those who have harmed me    for cooking them dinner & burning the rice    forgetting to add pepper    or make myself a plate     I [forgive] myself for staying     I [forgive]

myself for staying      until I left my skin

— Brandon Melendez, from “Standing at The Mirror, The Author Writes A Poem for Himself in Which the Word Hate Is Replaced with The Word Forgive,” published in Frontier Poetry

[polkadotmotmot]

Toma Vagner - Paranoia, 2021

[7l7l7l7l7l7l7l7]

imagine abandoning someone in the middle of the worst time of their life. what a bitch