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@pissrifle

[kungfuism]

bars are overrated places for a casual hang out spot we ought to start hanging out on power lines much like the pigeons 

[kungfuism]

my nose is proper blocked and i reckon if i sleep with my mouth open tonight and get a recording of my breathing difficulties i could be providing some superb sound effects for a remake of the grudge 

[naughtygrl45-blog]

or somebody could use it for a mixtape, the possibilities are endless ✨

[kungfuism]

right then if you ever decide that maybe you’d like to get started on an ep send me an email and i’ll forward my grudge impressions over that you could sample into one of your tracks 

[kungfuism]

i was meant to be doing something but i got distracted by the thought of staplers and how a simple device has changed our lives and you don’t really need buttons these days you could just staple your clothes together which is precisely what i did when i got a rip in my trousers however it didn’t go how i planned cause i might have stapled my leg on accident and if i’m being honest it did hurt quite a bit but i told myself jackie chan wouldn’t complain about this mishap and that’s how i made it through my stapler incident  

[kungfuism]

my nose is proper blocked and i reckon if i sleep with my mouth open tonight and get a recording of my breathing difficulties i could be providing some superb sound effects for a remake of the grudge 

[kungfuism]

what the fuck zayn that title is misleading there wasn’t a single thing about talking pillows mentioned in the song

[yamchucks-deactivated20170503]

i know i’m so sorry for letting you down

[kungfuism]

i expect a follow up single on actual pillows and bedding cheers 

[kungfuism]

what the fuck zayn that title is misleading there wasn’t a single thing about talking pillows mentioned in the song

[pmjustsomearts]

Visit Original Link

[kungfuism]

cotton bud says do not insert into ear canal but some rules are simply meant to be broken #ultrabadboy

[dontfindbigfoot]

you don’t speak for the snakes hairstyles i know for a fact they’re willing to support businesses even if they can’t have the product just because they know it’ll make them some money, they’re very greedy creatures. you have to trust me on this i’m from florida which is the snake capital of the united states according to me and i’ve met so many of them 

[kungfuism]

lisa you probably spoke to a piece of string on the ground that moved with the wind and thought it was a snake i just can’t take your word for it therefore i still stand by my previous statement that snakes have a dairy intolerance and have no interest in getting into the cheese business however they’ve got assets and they’re going to invest their money on simple yet useful appliances that will earn them a fortune 

[kungfuism]

brill the very hungry caterpillar has its own app now we’re one step closer towards building flying cars 

[dontfindbigfoot]

the snakes don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on shoes and socks and instead invest their money in a cheese factory because they know the demand for cheese will never go away and it’s a safe investment and they make millions of dollars and all the other creepy crawlies want to hang out with them 

[kungfuism]

snakes cant have cheese lauren jacuzzi they’re sensitive to dairy come on haven’t you ever seen discovery channel they’ve mentioned it a few times snakes aren’t fans of the dairy industry cause of their intolerance so why would they get into making cheese? a smarter move would be investing their money in hats that double as umbrellas it’s a handy implement 

[kungfuism]

sometimes i wonder if centipedes mock snakes for their lack of legs 

[dontfindbigfoot]

if they do then the joke is on them because i feel like snakes move faster than centipedes and that’s without the help of any legs

[kungfuism]

yeah but who gets to invest in a million pair of crocs and show them off on the daily? it’s the centipedes the snakes have lost this battle 

[kungfuism]

could you imagine if gliding snakes were standard and around all over the place i reckon i’d break the record for getting smacked across the face by a snake tail

[kungfuism]

sometimes i wonder if centipedes mock snakes for their lack of legs 

[kungfuism]

probably bit of a bummer to be a birthday cake cause first you’re set on fire and then a bunch of people cut into you and eat your spongey flesh 

[receptiondeskblues]

youre not really set on fire youre just stabbed by things that are then set on fire while the hot remains drip all over you and you scream and suffer slowly

[kungfuism]

you’re correct and ultimately your remains are stored away in cold temperatures furthermore proving my point it’s bit of a bummer to be a birthday cake 

[kungfuism]

probably bit of a bummer to be a birthday cake cause first you’re set on fire and then a bunch of people cut into you and eat your spongey flesh 

[kungfuism]

if wrestling is a hoax why did the remote control stop working for five minutes after i accidentally kicked it across the room