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Casey Sziska is a struggling musician finally cashing in on what he hopes is his big break by moving to a new city and signing a contract. His struggles come to a head when he meets and falls for the strange friend of his manager, Josh. The further Casey falls the more he uncovers about Josh's life that compels him to have to choose between his life, friends, and career, or saving him.
_
Casey was getting ready backstage in a small brick room with old concrete floors; fluorescents beaming overhead and giving him just the slightest of headaches when coupled with the bright bulbs lining his dressing room mirror. An electric buzz of noise sounded just beyond the door that separated him from the rest of the packed club.Â
He was tired, wanted to sleep, but the previous night's attempt hadn't done him any favors in that regard either.
Looking over his appearance, turning his face from side to side and examining his shoddy work, he figured what he had going on was good enough.
His hair's thick and messy, sticking out all over like he'd just gotten out of bed (not entirely false, he supposed). He learned early on that keeping it shorter was easiest, though wrestling it into styled submission not so much; so brushing out any tangles and just letting the wild mop of black be what it was suited him just fine.
He peered at his reflection in the mirror, scribbling some last touches of messy eyeliner around his eyes, hand pulling lightly at peach skin to make drawing the lines easier, even if it didn't.
His own green eyes stared back at him, a bright green that contrasts the black that surrounds them. He studied the various silver piercings decorating his face as he penciled heavy black lines around his eyes.
He was fond of piercings; had a labret below his lip, a bridge across his nose, nostril piercings on both sides, and matching brow piercings to boot. His ears held their own matching sets of black piercings.
He gave his reflection a solid glare, then wiggled his eyebrows with a grin before letting his face fall back to neutral.
Eh, good enough.
His eyes flickered to the left, the upper corner of the mirror reflecting Julie's back to him as she put up her pale blonde hair into a low messy bun facing the mirror just opposite his.
Julie's his friend, his best friend even, his sister, and their band's bassist, and the band was the whole reason they were here.
A few years ago Casey started a small band with his childhood friends, Julie and Devin.
He'd known Julie since kindergarten, she was practically family. She was thin and stockily built, long blonde hair always kept tied, and a few piercings of her own. She and Casey had more history than could be covered in such a short time, but Julie always had his back.
Devin was a high school friend. Taller than Julie, though still not quite as tall as Casey. Warm brown skin and styled curled hair. He joined their little group freshman year and settled in seamlessly. He took Casey to his first concert, played his first song, and practically leapt at the chance to be their drummer.
Their band name "Nowhere" didn't really have meaning, it was more of a placeholder than a real name, later on a running joke about how their little band was going "nowhere."
Casey had always been a singer, and had dedicated himself to being a guitarist as well, and once each of their preferred roles were filled, the three have been inseparable ever since.
Starting a band was one of the first things they did as teenagers, even if they didn't do anything, and didn't seriously pursue it until later. They didn't get serious about actually releasing music until their first paid gig, a local rock festival, and the thrill of the whole experience is what made the three of them truly want this.
After a while it just stuck.
A sharp knock on the dressing room door startled Casey out of his thoughts before it opened, not waiting for an answer as an assistant he recognized from their new managers payroll waltzed in, not looking up from their clipboard before saying;
"Hey, Nowhere! It's time to go, you're on."
And walking out of the room.
Casey sighed, placing his head in his hands before running them loosely through his hair, the eyeliner smudging a bit around his eyes. It looked better that way.
"You ready?" She asked, the bags under her eyes noticeable even under her makeup.
A smaller hand patted him on the back, it was Julie.
He shrugged, standing and stretching his arms above his head in a more exaggerated move than needed, towering over the girl as he reached for his guitar, all the signal the other two needed to follow his lead.
They waltzed out the door in no real hurry, Julie chewing lazily on a piece of gum that had long since lost its flavor, scrolling on her phone as she followed behind Casey.
Devin seemed largely uninterested in the whole thing, the same dark circles under his eyes, and curled hair somewhat frazzled as he followed behind Julie, staring blankly at the passing overhead lights lining the cement hallway leading to the stage.
Casey leading the way looked no better.
In truth they'd just moved to the city a little over a month ago, and Casey's apartment deal had immediately fallen through upon their arrival. He'd been crashing on Julie and Devinâs couch for 4 weeks before he found another apartment for rent in his price range.
None of them seemed entirely up for this last minute performance. It, after all, being none of their ideas. No, their new manager Evan had scheduled this show, despite the band's exhausted objections.
For a while he wondered if he were stupid for not electing to join them for a 3 bedroom, and instead his friends settled on a 2 bedroom once Casey had declined them. He really preferred his privacy, and he found he appreciated that comfort even in the tiny studio he hauled his belongings into just 2 weeks ago. But with the leaky pipes and draft and more expenses pilling up, in-between work meetings and recording sessions, he'd found little time for rest.
So here they were, mere feet away from stepping in front of a crowd in some exclusive live music club they'd never get into otherwise, exhausted.
His back ached from moving boxes and sleeping on a couch much smaller than him much longer than he'd wanted. The only thing he's eaten in two days is a couple stale slices of pizza.
But he smiled, stepping hurriedly on stage with a flare and the screech of his guitar while a half attentive crowd turned. He played an improvised solo before Julie was screaming an enthusiastic greeting while their audience cheered.
Casey was nothing if not an excellent performer, he knew how to work a crowd. Charisma and flare were as easy as breathing on stage. He could barely see beyond the lights, blurring his vision of the faces staring at him, and here he could be as free as he wanted.
Yeah, good enough.
He announced a song, strumming a chord as Devin tapped his drumsticks, music starting strong before they were playing with more energy than they actually had to a delighted audience.
_____
They had a 3 song set, and although their follow-up act seemed to fit the vibe of a nightclub better than they had, the crowd wasn't as invested, which was a definite pickup in his mood.
He doubts any of these people would really remember their little punk band or the drinks in their hands by tomorrow morning.
He didn't mind, even exhausted he had fun playing, at least, and they enjoyed it enough for the whole thing not to go tits up. The sizable paycheck helped when rent was going to be due.
His voice was a bit hoarse and he was tired, but work was done and he was getting paid, so really it was a win.
He didn't have the luck of just leaving however. His manager decided an impromptu meet and greet was in order, and he didn't have the privilege of saying no.
His new manager was a man named Evan Danse, a real clean cut looking guy, kind of looks like he just stepped off a yacht party at any given moment, and his sweater and coiffed hair didn't really give him the "I manage a punk band" vibe you might expect.
Still, he wanted to manage them, and had done more for their actual careers in a short time than they had ever managed to do themselves in several, and they owed him. So, here Casey was, towering over the man as he walked him down a line of people waiting to meet him, all pleasant smiles and dainty handshakes with no real clue or care for who he was, which was fine; they shared the sentiment.
Casey was a big guy, always has been, and measuring at a steady 6â6â gave him a tendency to stand out. His build he'd worked for, he enjoyed the stability a workout gave him, and though he wouldn't describe himself this way, he had on occasion been told his stature and style were a bit intimidating.
He thought of that as Evan introduced him one by one to a variety of coworkers, colleagues, and all sorts of Evan's work related relationships that weren't expecting his latest work project to look quite like Casey.
People dispersed as they went along; introduction, smile, handshake, leave; rinse and repeat. The line tapered off in a mix of confusion and surprise until Evan presented him with the last, different from the others in Evan's presentation; a guy who caught Casey's eye with just how plainly he didn't seem to give a shit at what was happening.
He was shorter than Casey, not uncommon. Still, the guy was a good head shorter than him; skinny looking under too big clothes that only made him look smaller.
Casey's eyes met a head full of unruly hair, sandy blond and messily cropped, almost reaching the guy's shoulders. Hair was brushed to cover his face, like he were using it all like a curtain.
"Casey, I'd like to introduce you to a personal friend of mine." Evan said cheerfully, gesturing to the guy as he went to stand beside him, patting a hand against the guys back playfully. "This is Joshua."
Casey smiled even when Joshua failed to react, instead keeping a pleasant air about him as his sort-of boss introduced him to the weird little dude who wouldn't look at them; holding out his hand for the typical smile, handshake, leave, but Joshua didn't take it. He didn't look at Casey at all actually, his eyes downcast to stare at the phone he held in his hand. The screen illuminated what little of his face wasn't hidden under his hair, the shadows giving his blank stare an eerie sort of vibe.
Something felt off.
Casey was enamored with it all.
Joshua was thin, wearing oversized clothes; a big winter coat, a loose fitting shirt, and dark jeans, the cuffs were rolled up, whether for style or comfort he wasn't really sure, but it was a nice look on him.
He was pale, dark tiredness under his eyes like bruises, pink lips, sharp chin, face expressionless as he typed away furiously on his phone, still keeping his head down as the other two men stared expectantly.
Casey thought he was cute. Fluffy hair, long eyelashes, slender face..
He gave his best smile.
Evan was saying something about Joshua, apologizing for his attitude, but Casey stopped listening.
When it came to focusing his attention between his semi-annoying overly familiar âbossâ and the cute if a little standoffish stranger, there was really no competition.
He leaned forward ever so slightly, raising his hand close enough to Joshua for him to notice, but not so close to violate any boundaries, holding his hand at Joshua's rye level, certain it was visible.
Casey casually waved his hand, effectively gaining the smaller guy's attention.
His eyes shot up, seemingly put off by the action and ready to argue, gaze instantly locking with Casey's who kept the smile bright on his face.
His glare faltered a bit at that, cheeks growing slightly pink and looking away with a frown.
"Hey there." Casey said, voice smooth as he once again offered his hand. "I'm Casey."
Joshua nodded his head, carefully reaching out and taking Casey's hand in his.
" 'm Joshua." He muttered in response.
His voice was a little deeper than Casey expected, kind of raw, harsh; he liked it.
Evan watched the exchange with a curious, almost suspicious look, but he didn't speak up as Casey gave the smaller guy's hand a short, firm shake. Joshua's hand was small, bony, and cold.
"Joshua." Casey repeated, testing the sound on his tongue. "Josh?"
Joshua flustered a bit at the suggested nickname, face dusted pink as he shrugged, giving him a vague Okay.
Casey grinned as Josh continued on his phone, if a bit clumsier.
Casey liked being direct, especially when he liked someone, and he liked Josh. He was cute. If they clicked, tonight could end on a really high note.
"So, uh," Evan said suddenly, loudly, an unplaceable emotion behind his voice before clearing his throat purely to gain the two's attention. "Like I was saying Joshua is a friend of mine, it's sort of tradition to bring him along to performances from my artists, especially new ones."
"Yeah?" Casey cut him off almost immediately to turn back to Josh with a smile. "You saw us play?"
It sounded like a fun pastime, honestly. All sorts of music and venues for free? He knew at least he'd be down.
Josh started fidgeting awkwardly at Casey's question, a semi-sour expression on his face as he pulled his phone a little closer to his face, muttering; "NotâŚexactly, no."
Casey faltered for a fraction of a second, but that's fine. Sure, not the response he was expecting, but he can work with this.
"Hey, that's okay." He grinned. "Means next time I can really put my all in for you."
Josh was actually blushing now, his reactions to Casey's casual flirting was something to behold.
Evan cleared his throat at the two again, Casey suppressing a groan and just wanting him to go away, but the two looked to him regardless as he began boasting Casey's band and accomplishments like he were making some kind of sales pitch. It was directed more at Josh than him, obviously, but hearing someone else talk him up like this was just weird, and brought the building atmosphere to a screeching halt.
The surprise interruption from one of Evan's assistants was a definite blessing in disguise that had Casey sighing in relief, the woman walking up and whispering something in Evan's ear that caused him to give a dramatic roll of his eyes before shooing her away.
"Sorry, technical stuff." He said, turning to Josh. "Why don't you have a seat Joshua? Order some drinks, it's on me."
And with that he walked away, disappearing into the crowd and leaving Casey and Josh alone.
They stood in silence for a moment, music playing loud as bodies were crowded everywhere, some moving and swaying along on the dance floor, others grouped together with drinks and conversation while Casey on the other hand contemplated.
None of this really seemed Josh's speed at all, if the fact that he'd been squirreling away in a corner all night was any indication, and Casey was more than happy to chat it up somewhere the guy was more comfortable, if he wanted to; so he maneuvered to Josh's side, leaning in a little closer to speak low.
"There are some tables over there." He said, pointing a little ways towards the bar. "Wanna sit for a bit?"
Josh was less fidgety, and although the red returned to his face at the suggestion, he gave a casual shrug of confirmation anyway. Casey happily leads him towards the bar and chooses a table that leads into a larger lounge, a small couch on either side of their small table with a few chairs scattered here and there.
They both sat on the far left couch, side by side. Josh relaxed back, stretching his legs slightly with his eyes still fixed on his phone as he kept typing, Casey sitting beside him and stretching his arms a bit before relaxing back into the sofa as well.
They sat in silence for another moment. Josh was quiet, caught up in his phone, and Casey awkwardly rubbed at his neck while he tried to think of something to talk about, regain their previously derailed energy.
He peeked over Josh's shoulder, curious what was keeping him so focused on his phone.
He wasn't typing, he was playing one of those clicker app games. He wondered how something so repetitively boring could keep the guy's attention so thoroughly, then again who was he to judge? He seemed to enjoy it enough.
If Josh noticed him, he didn't seem to care, so he kept watching.
Casey didn't play these things personally, he wasn't into app games and didn't really know a lot about how these ones worked, but if it were possible to be good at it Josh certainly was. It was kind of fun to watch actually, better than zoning out in a loud club.
It was some kind of photography game, taking pictures was the goal, different targets popping up on screen as Josh quickly tapped each for a photo.
He sort of just watched Josh for a bit. Tapping and clicking his phone as pop-ups and scores flashed on screen.
Josh had an odd air about him, Casey couldn't exactly place it.
He's pretty, his features were so striking in Casey's eyes he wondered how the man went completely unnoticed; his fluttering sandy hair with bright strands catching in the light, slender face and soft lips a complimented contrast to his pale skin and dark eyes, heavily lidded with long pretty lashes. Together with the lights glowing off his skin, the tiredness under his eyes and just how still he was other than the movement of his fingers, the near emptiness illuminated in his eyes from the screens harsh glow, the way he could just barely tell he was breathing, it all felt so odd.
So interesting.
"You're pretty good at that." Casey smiled, a hint more of flirtation to his tone than before.
Josh stopped for a moment, eyes glancing at Casey before shifting back to the screen unfazed.
"Thanks." He murmured. âIt's just tapping really fast I guess, passes the time though."
Josh prompting the conversation further had Casey delighted.
"You say that like you don't like it that much." He chuckled, Josh did too.
"Eh, it's so-so." He said. "This keeps my hands busy when I'm bored, but it's not exactly thrilling, just something to do."
"Well what do you like to do?"
Josh lowered his phone at the question, looking at him with a raised brow and his full attention.
"Stuff." He answered tentatively, only continuing when Casey's eager grin waited for elaboration. "Uh, games? Books? I likeâŚcoding.â
To his surprise Josh started talking about computer programming and code.
Casey sat almost dumbfounded while Josh spoke about programming far more eloquently than he'd believed he would, or could.
He wondered if Josh studied this kind of stuff, where his interest started, what he does for a livingâŚthe longer he talked the more Casey was interested in the guy.
"What about you? You're a musician, aren't you? You said you play. What do you play?" Josh asked suddenly.
Then Casey was grinning like an idiot.
"Well," he began. "I play guitar, mainly. Sometimes I play some backing instruments, like keyboard, drums, and I played piano when I was younger, butâŚ"
Josh perked up a bit, looking curious and expectant as Casey eyed him with a smile.
Casey was most comfortable with a guitar, but he had a fondness for the piano. Telling Josh about his first time ever touching an instrument, being encouraged to listen and watch the church pianist play while he mimicked, catching on quickly and playing frequently at school, Josh looked at him in a sort of wonder like it were the most meaningful story he'd ever heard.
Josh was leaning closer to listen while Casey spoke, Casey did too until their shoulders were touching, neither minded much at all.
"Hey, stop me if I'm overstepping okay?â He said. âBut as fun as talking with you is, this whole club scene doesn't really feel like your thing."
Josh chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess that's pretty obvious huh?"
Casey smiled, and took the next step.
"Wanna go somewhere?"
Josh looked at him a little confused, Casey kept talking.
"We could get something to eat, late night burger? I don't know the area that well but I'm pretty sure there's an arcade a few blocks away."
Josh's eyes widened a bit with realization, Casey couldn't tell if this was going good or bad, but he'd be damned if he backed out now.
"Or we could go to my place if you're cool with it, I don't have much, but I do have a ps5 and some movies, if you want."
"Sure."
The answer came faster and more steadfast than he thought it might, honestly, but Josh looked almost determined, his face more expressive than it had been before; his heavily lidded eyes and the pink blush of his cheeks gave him the feeling they were on the same wavelength here.
Casey smiled, leaning even closer, heart skipping when Josh leaned a bit as well. "You should shoot Evan a text, so he's not worried."
Josh nodded while they both stood up, he didn't seem to mind Casey keeping a bit closer while they head for the door.
_
