—# "there are no eyes here, in the valley of dying stars."
angst
They say you can change your fate if you try hard enough, but what has Yukimiya done to change his?
I mean sure, he was careful—cautious even. All those treatments he went through, all that money he blew. Hell, he even bought specialized glasses for the field. But was his eyesight really getting better?
And what about all the meaningless things he did in-between? Like crying all night to be given a fair chance, to not be held back by his biggest weakness—praying for at least a chance to show his potential. Did any of that truly help him?
Simple answer, No.
All it did was bring a false comfort and nothing more.
Because Yukimiya has always lived to plead with his eyes, to beg them, desperate for something to make the inevitable from coming—desperate for a solution that will never happen. Because this isn’t just some fantasy, or video game with a restart button, or even a solvable math equation, this is real life. There’s no second chance, no solution to problems that can’t be fixed. What will be, will be.
So no treatment in the world could make Yukimiya feel better, and he knew it was pointless trying to convince himself otherwise. Time is constant, you can't outrun it, his eyes were failing him, and he knew that.
But it wouldn't just be his eyesight failing him. It would be his dream, his reason to live, everything he worked so hard for, and most importantly, the very thing that shaped his being.
I mean, coming to blue lock was a chance for him to show off his potential. To prove to himself, to others, to his stupid treatments, that he is capable of becoming a star. So why was it all suddenly slipping away from his hands?
It's unfortunate how life has favorites. It's unfortunate how Yukimiya is stuck in a world where the very thing he needs, is fading, and with it, his purpose.
But one day, it'll happen.
The dreaded day will come where his vision will become a blur, his movements uncertain and sloppy, the ball will slip away from him—and so will his dream. So will everything he worked for.
It’s unfair. It’s unjustified. It’s unfortunate.
I mean, Yukimiya didn’t deserve this. He had been kind all his life. He had been taking care of himself. He thought he was doing everything right. But then again, he is no God, just a simple man unable to change his fate.
the concept of suguru mocking your whimpers and whines as he absolutely destroys you on your couch.
you two know that your roommate could come back anytime soon, how easily you could get caught — and yet somehow, suguru manages to hypnotize you with each slow and delicious snap of his hips.
“ah,” you gasp, its a high pitched sound and your hands reach for his shoulders for support. your nails dig into his skin, eyes focused on when your bodies connect. “f-fuck.”
“ah,” suguru mimics your noise, pulling his cock all the way back before slamming into your pussy again. his teeth sink into his bottom lip to suppress the wicked grin that’s spreading across his face, he’s too proud of the fact that you look like a mess.
your eyes shoot upwards, and suguru hates how his heart lurches in his chest.
pretty eyes are glossy all over, your lips bruised and plump from being kissed so passionately by him, then your mouth quivers and a hand rests on his chest.
“you’re mocking me,” you say it with so much sadness, but your pussy flutters around his cock and suguru groans as he buries his face in your neck.
“sweet girl,”
“o-oh!” he spreads your legs, pushing your thigh open with one hand as he grips the skin. this gives him a better angle, allows him to go deeper than before and it’s evident in the way your body tenses up at the feeling.
“oh yeah?” he questions, voice bordering on breaking too because fuck does it feel good to be destroying you.
“y-yes!”
“yeah?” he asks again, his cock dragging deeper and harder against your walls, his hand wrapping around your neck. “let me fucking hear you. come on. come on baby—“
a high pitched “suguru!” echoes through the living room of your apartment, the couch moves away from its original spot with how hard he’s fucking you.
even after you cum, even after he sees your soul escaping your body, not once does he slow down nor does he show mercy. he continues to fuck into you, mean strokes near sending you to the after-life with how desperately you’re gripping his shoulders.
begging, pleading with him to take it easy on you.
“p-please, no more—“
“nah, you’ll take it.” and he means it, his hand pushes you down on the couch and he pins you there.
because suguru doesn’t just fuck to fuck, he likes to play with you and leave you a babbling mess even after you cum.
self-control was something that tended to fly straight out the window when he was with you; simeon realized in a pleasure-filled haze when he found himself moaning under you at the feeling of your slick folds gliding against his length.
he’d like to say that he needed much convincing and persuasion to have him here under you, engaging in such a debauched act, but he couldn’t. truthfully, he folded as soon as you brought up the idea under the excuse of: “it’s not a sin if there’s no penetration, right?”
but he couldn’t find it in him to feel guilty when you felt so good against him, every moan that left your mouth sending shivers up his spine and making him want to do more, to draw out every sound you could make until it was nothing but broken cries of his name.
and really, there was nothing wrong with letting you indulge a little in your desires. this was for you; his perfect angel, looking like one now more than ever when you looked up at him with glossy eyes and puffy lips from how you bit them trying to stifle your sweet sounds.
it’s not like he had been thinking of getting you like this since the moment he first saw you — countless nights spent fisting his cock to thoughts of you just like this — imagining the way your body would respond to his touch, how you’d moan his name like a prayer as he gave you that small taste of heaven.
and after doing this much, what’s the point of restraint? he really couldn’t be blamed if his tip just happened to slip inside your warm heat, or when his hips clearly moved with a mind of their own as he thrusted deep inside you.
and if he came to the feeling of you clenching around him as your own orgasm washed over you, then really, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. surely it wasn’t a sin if this ended in a sweet little bundle of joy, no?
— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!
— first recording
“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”
sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.
-
— second recording
“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!
……
is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”
sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums.
everything passes.
— college; third recordings
“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”
sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself.
maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.
“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”
“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”
everything passes.
-
— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner
“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.
……
you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”
……
“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”
sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently?
sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.
yet the silence was too loud, even for him.
everything passes.
-
— graduation recordings
“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”
sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible.
he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.
everything passes.
-
— recordings from 2 years ago
“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”
……
“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”
……
“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”
……
“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”
everything passes.
-
— present
“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!
……
sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends. thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”
“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”
“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”
“nii-chan..”
sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.
how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?
sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.
“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile.
“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”
sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own.
“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”
standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end.
sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.
sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go.
and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.
everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.
cw. ex-boyfriend sae x fem!reader. mild nsfw. short + fluff. you just gotta love your ex <3
—it'd be a lie to say sae didn't still remember the day you broke up with him like it was just yesterday, but at some point, he stopped caring.
maybe, and just maybe, every time he told himself he wasn't bothered about you leaving because he knew you were 'no good without him anyway' he was just giving himself some kind of consolation or fake peace of mind.
but when you contacted him first after 36 exact days since breaking up, calling his name like the desperate prayer of a starved man while telling him how much you needed him, you unknowingly confirmed his theory.
and with those few words, he fell back to you too. the sound of his name on your pretty lips and the soft, breathy moans that followed warmly welcoming him back inside you as he pressed himself flush against your cervix, a place he swore he belonged to; not the field, not the spotlight—just you and the honey-sweet, almost cloying feeling of your skin wrapped around his, swallowing him whole as your manicured nails that still have his initial on your index claw at his back.
yet maybe sae wasn't entirely right, because even after that night, you didn't go back to him. when he woke up the next morning, your half naked body still clad only in his shirt that was a few sizes too big for you and your eyes slowly fluttering open against his chest as the daylight interrupted your sleep, he half expected you to do the honors of asking him to be your boyfriend again.
but you didn't, you just smiled at him, the mesmerizing smile he had come to fall in love with so long ago now leaving behind a feeling of deep confusion in him as you merely giggled and threw a pillow at his face when he tried leaning down to kiss you.
part of sae felt disappointed that day as he returned to his own home, maybe from now on you were just gonna call him for sex every now and then, and if that was the case, he wasn't really sure he could be okay with that.
yet that same week, you called again. not because you were drunk or because you wanted him inside you again, but simply because you wanted to 'hang out.'
that was what became of your relationship with sae. you didn't call him your boyfriend, and you wouldn't let him call you his girlfriend either, but you were together everyday. driving around with no destination as you sang some old, poorly composed song that played on the radio, the moonlight illuminating you just right over his convertible car. and sae just smiled, focused on the road while a strong hand silently rested on your thigh.
you'd tell him everything like he was your only trustable confidant in the world, went to his games wearing his signed jersey and a pretty little skirt he was certain you wore just for him, he picked you up after your classes, bought you every little thing your eyes lingered on for more than a split second, walked hand in hand with you while you chatted his ears off, fucked you just right until you couldn't see anything but the teal depths of his beautiful eyes that seemed to brand you with just one look. but you weren't his girlfriend, and he wasn't your boyfriend.
you weren't seeing anyone else, turning around with a disgusted expression anytime a man tried making a move on you, and you didn't allow sae to see anyone else either. odd for a girl who claims she's 'single.'
and when he spots you waiting for him by the locker room after his game, your neck still adorned with the necklace he had gifted you over two years ago, the 'S' pendant hanging just above your pretty cleavage as you turn around to face him with a beaming smile on your face before wrapping your arms around his neck,
he tells himself that maybe he's okay with being your ex-boyfriend.
♡
a/n: can u guys tell i js love the exes trope🥹✌🏻 also let the light in reminds me of sae sm for no reason so i decided to do this....will get back to smaus shortly dw
If words of reassurance alone can’t cure your boyfriend’s jealousy, maybe throwing in a makeout session can help.
solivan brugmansia x gn!reader | MDNI, 1.5k wc, kissing, jealousy, brief mention of him kissing reader while they're drugged so non-consensual touching, mentions of masturbation, he ends up cumming in his pants, let there be no typos
note: hi so i’m kind of obsessed with him </3 comments and reblogs are always appreciated! title is from the song ‘snakelike (the stars collide)’
masterlist read on ao3 requests open
“You’ve been quieter than usual.”
No response. You knew your boyfriend wasn’t rowdy, but the walk to your house after leaving campus was always filled with enjoyable chit chats at the very least. Tugging on his sleeve, your feet came to a pause as you turned to him.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, please?”
God knew he couldn’t deny his sweetheart’s plea, not in a million years.
“Ichabod.” Okay, so there was some venom in his voice. Just a little. He had to hold back from not seething the name out like it was a slur.
You knew they didn’t exactly get along. Crowe was friendly towards everyone, but Sol seemed reluctant to be polite to him. Every time they were in the same space, you kinda wanted to die to avoid the awkwardness of the tension.
“Crowe? What about him?”
“He obviously likes you.” And he knew you liked him back at one point, he’d been watching you for a long time. And though you've been a couple for three weeks now, the uncertainty of it all still hadn’t left.
He trusted you. Your best friend on the other hand…well, not so much. If only you knew how extreme his jealousy could be—you were lucky Crowe wasn’t six feet under already. It would only take one mistake for you to be attending a funeral. It’s fine, he’d be there to console you. Nonono, bad Sol, don’t even think about it.
“What?! No he doesn’t!” Maybe you shouldn’t be raising your voice, he seemed upset enough as is. You sighed, muttering an apology before continuing. “We’ve been friends for years, I seriously don’t think he sees me like that. And even if he did…you’re my boyfriend. So he’d just have to deal with it, I guess.”
Oh. He liked that answer. Ichabod suffering emotionally because his dream lover was out of reach? It was a wet dream come true.
Taking a peek at him, you noticed the upturn of his lips. “That certainly made you cheer up.”
“You always make me happy, pumpkin. I just don’t like him.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t.”
“That’s not a good reason. He’s my friend and he’s important to me, so can you at least try to act civil around him? He always tries to talk to you and you just…glare at him.”
Now he was a little scared. Biting down on his lip, he mulled over your request. The last thing he wanted was for you to break up with him after he had finally won you over against all odds. “Fine, I’ll try.”
“Thank you,” you held onto his hand and gave it a squeeze, one that he returned as you both started walking again.
Three blocks and a flight of stairs later, the comfort of your apartment lured you both to the couch, backpacks discarded onto the floor without care. He sat right next to you, and you curled up against him, pulling your phone out your pocket.
“We always come to my house, I wanna see what yours looks like too.”
“I like your house more but…sure, just let me know what day.” Yeah, so he had time to hide everything he’d stolen from you.
Ding.
His eyes flicked to the notification with a certain someone’s profile picture. His expression soured, and he looked away with a petulant huff. Clearly, he wasn’t over it. Not that he’d ever be, but you thought it was just a phase that would go away with some reassurance. How naive of you.
“Sol…”
He wasn’t budging, nose in the air as he waited for you to read the message. Or well, that’s what he was expecting anyway.
“You’re so stubborn.” With a sigh, you toss your phone aside and instead move to straddle his lap to get his attention.
His shoulders stiffened immediately, and a certain area under his pants sprung to life like clockwork. He gulped, the tips of his ears turning red. He loved being under you, but that usually only happened in his fantasies late at night when he stroked himself with your undergarments.
“What am I gonna do with you?” Cupping his face with one hand, you let your thumb glide over his bottom lip. “I can’t have you getting jealous every other minute.”
“I can’t help it.” He murmured, arms finally relaxing and wrapping around your waist to tug you closer. Having you close wasn’t anything new, he was clingy to the core. It always felt different when you initiated it, though.
“I know…I just don’t want you feeling bad or insecure. I like you, I want to be with you.”
He grinned. “You promise?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
Godyou’resosweetandbeautifulandfuckIwantyoutofuckme. From 0 to 100. His mind was already running rampant. You were sitting on him so prettily, how did he get this lucky? His eyes were drawn to your lips, his stomach felt warm now.
“Tell me I’m yours and that you’re mine.”
You really shouldn’t encourage his possessive behavior, but it was kinda…hot? You’d play along.
You leaned down, lips nearly brushing against his. “You’re mine, and I’m yours.”
His dick twitched. Before he had the chance to sigh dreamily, you kissed him. He whimpered pitifully and kissed back, already attempting to deepen it.
He had thought about getting a tongue piercing, but he wouldn’t be able to go weeks without kissing you now that he’d gotten a taste of what it was like. Though, maybe that torture would be worth it if it meant being able to make you feel good in the future.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Then, a bombardment of kisses a day must keep the psychologist away, it felt like all your problems had been washed away the minute your tongue met his.
His hands roamed your sides, squeezing whenever you tugged on his hair or bit down on his lip. In only five minutes, it went from slow and sensual to fast and needy.
Your living room was only ever filled with TV noises and conversations. Now, it was nothing but heavy breathing, shaky whines, and the sound of clothes rubbing against each other.
And shit—no, no, no—he was close to making a mess in his pants. “Waitwaitwait, slow down,” he pleaded, voice a pitch higher as he held onto your hips. How embarrassing would it be if he came so quickly from simply kissing? Maybe you’d think he’d only last two fucking seconds in bed (he probably would the first time, and he knew that).
“What’s wrong?” You ask breathlessly, eyes fluttering open to look at your boyfriend.
“Nothing, just…” He sat up straighter so he could dip his head down and press his lips against your neck. It felt infinitely better than doing so when you were limp like a ragdoll.
“Oh,” your eyes rolled back, your hand instinctively went to the back of his head to keep him in place. His cool piercings sent a shiver down your hot skin. Maybe if your mind wasn’t so busy spinning and seeing stars, you’d notice the ever so prominent bulge begging for attention against the side of your inner thigh.
“Does this feel good?” He asked before starting to gently suck on you. If he was lucky, he’d mark you up. For once, he was eager to see Crowe tomorrow. He’d be sure to wrap his arm around your shoulder and then lean down to press a kiss against the hickey you’d have after all this just to spite him.
“Uh huh…” Your sweet moans fanned against his ear.
He thought this would save him from cumming, but your reactions were just making it worse. There was no way out of it. His stomach was tensing, and his eyes were getting teary—this always happened. “Haa….haaa…”
For someone who usually had little to say, he was so loud. But you didn’t know what was happening in his body, not until it was too late.
“Oh fuck…” His forehead rested against your shoulder as his body shook, black nails digging into you like he needed you close to handle the waves of pleasure. Luckily for him, his words were unintelligible because of how fast he gritted it out. “Iloveyouiloveyoufuckiloveyou.”
You snapped out of your pleasure-induced dazed, hearing him pant heavily and slump against you. You stayed frozen, and moments later, he tipped his head back instead to get air.
“Did you just…”
Pressing your hands against his chest, you leaned back to get a better look. He did. Fuck he was pretty. Cheeks flushed. Lips swollen. Drool trickling down his chin. Brows furrowed. Eyelashes wet from tears.
You’d never been more turned on in your life. You hadn’t even touched him down there!
He opened his eyes, hiding his face with his shaky hand the second he saw you. “Fuck…I didn’t mean to. I was trying not to.”
You took his hand to pull it away, smiling at him. Geez, it was like you were proud of yourself, and he found it endearing rather than annoying.
“Um…I don’t think I have any spare pants for you. Or uh, you know.”
“…”
“I’ll get you a glass of water.”
“No, don’t leave yet.”
“I’m not leaving! The kitchen is literally right there.”
“Stay here.” He held you close, burying his head against your shoulder again and letting his temperature return to normal.
long hours, countless matches, interviews and advertisements. all of them stacked up left sae with little to no time for you.
you tried to be understanding, you had different priorities but it started subtly — missing your calls, responding later and later your messages till eventually his replies disappeared all together. sure he was ambitious, but to forget about you? his girlfriend? yeah, you were mad. a stern talking was waiting for him as soon as he got back.
so why had you ended up against the bed with his mouth on you?
your hands in his scalp, fingers lacing with magenta strands, sae’s tongue worked absolute magic, running over your folds, your slit, coating his mouth with your arousal. he pressed a soft kiss to your clit before spitting on it, watching his saliva trail down, slow and obscene, hands spreading your thighs wide for him as he lapped up like a man starved.
you’d been at it for... well, god knows how long. if you had to guess, you’d already cum three times, each release clinging to your inner thighs, wet sticky and filthy. it was also slathered around sae’s mouth messily, shiny with your gloss. sloppy sounds of him going down on you reverberating around the room.
the sheer concentration he was putting into satisfying you right now was ludicrous, legs trembling in his hold, every lick both hard and effortless at the same time, every suck to your clit eye rolling and dizzying.
he dragged low whimpers out of you, calculated, purposeful flicks of his tongue getting all your delicate spots, sending shivers down your spine.
“stop squirming.” voice muffled in the sweetness of your pussy. “and watch how good i make you feel.”
you were watching alright, how could you miss a sight like this? — handsome face burrowed between your legs, bangs down and stuck to his forehead, big wide palms prying your lush thighs open and bare for him, bite marks he had littered across them bruising. every time you shifted, he pulled you closer, occasional groans leaving him as he ravished you.
hungry eyes met yours, mischievous teal glinting under the rooms lighting. then he stopped. just like that, mid lick.
“up.”
“wha?” you heaved. your mind was scattered and bleary, a few moments ago his mouth was all over you and now it was gone.
“still want to make it up to you.” already shifting to the bed, “want you on my face.”
you did as he said compliantly, even though you should have been the one demanding.
“oh my, oh my god!” this new position was insane — thighs wrapped tight around his head while the lower half of his face was suffocating in your warmth. you could feel his tongue everywhere. fucking into your sensitive walls, broad as it prodded in consistently, nose dragging along your hard clit. your hips rose, body overwhelmed but his hands jerked you firmly back down.
“i said to stop squirming.” you could hardly hear him, words lost in your cunt. “haven't tasted you in so long, missed you.”
‘missed you?’ like he hadn't been ignoring you for weeks.
“i-if you missed me, why’d you never—” your words were cut off by a breaking moan, your stomach dipping with your breaths.
“didn’t have time.” he spoke roughly, vibrations rumbling deep into your core. it was the same lazy excuse again but all you could think of now was his lips, his mouth, his tongue.
“its too, agh— much! too good, can feel you e-everywhere..!”
“too good? so you forgive me?” he was getting lightheaded at points but pressed on regardless, ensuring your pleasure was top priority.
“i’ll, hah—, think about it!”
when you were shamelessly whimpering, head thrown back and eyes turning into your head, hips rocking with pure desperation, the answer was obvious. you felt the overfamiliar feeling of your body drawing close. “need t-to come so bad sae!” you whined, blood coursing hot under your skin.
“come for me, pretty.” undivided attention now turned to your clit, mouth sucking sharply, tongue swirling over the delicate collection of nerves, your legs clasped his head shaking as you came, the sweet sensation relaxing you while his tongue cleaned you up.
“i still...” you panted, “still don't think you're sorry enough.” you grinded against his face softly before hovering.
“oh? i’ll show you how sorry i am.” hands wrapped round you pulling you down, his tongue was already running, slow, through your folds, jolts of overstimulation hitting you.
(oh the thought of sae being an eater!! he definitely is)
your very first morning waking up in sae's arms comes with an unexpected surprise! reader x sae itoshi <3 𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡
the very first morning you woke up in sae's arms was a morning you never wanted to forget. you distinctly remember the hotel's bedsheets being tinged with the fragrance of something floral mixed with sae's faint cologne, and the natural symphony of the waves crashing outside from the open balcony window along with the glittering sunlight that streamed into the room only made the moment even more perfect.
sae had begun the morning by pressing a number of soft kisses sleepily onto your shoulder blades as he slowly rouse from his slumber, so it was only natural for you to turn around and greet him good morning, right?
the appalled gasp that tore from your lips had sae's eyes fluttering open in confusion, and the sight of your wide eyed gaze and hand pressed against your mouth had him immediately sitting up in concern
"what's wrong?" he questions, voice gravelly and deep with sleep as his palm reaches out to settle against your waist
"uhm... nothing!" you manage to choke out. sae blinks slowly, not catching on to what could have provoked such a reaction from you—but when your gaze accidentally moves up for a split second—his own eyes slightly widen in mild horror as he remembered just what his hair looked like in the morning.
the usual styled and gelled hair you were so used to seeing was now a soft but absolutely wild mess on top of his head—it seemed like the pink tufts were defying gravity itself with the way they stuck up in just about every direction possible. his usual updo was also completely gone, with his bangs instead falling softly against his forehead in thick tufts.
despite the tousled and disheveled look that was a far cry from sae's usual composed appearance, the sight in front of you was oddly endearing. unfortunately for you, sae immediately pulls his blanket up and over his head, muttering an angry string of profanities under his breath as you wince
"sae! i'm sorry, i was just a bit surprised, i promise! i've never seen your hair so... uhm—" you cut yourself off with a muffled laugh as sae tightens the blanket around his head
"you weren't supposed to see me like this... go back to sleep and tell yourself this was all a dream while i get myself ready in the bathroom."
you laugh louder, but only because he was dead serious. once your laughter subsides, you carefully rise on wobbly legs off the bed. the sleeve of sae's shirt shifts off your shoulder a bit from the movement, but you don't bother to fix it as you hover over him and gently tug the blanket off of his form
thankfully, sae doesn't protest. you crawl back onto the bed once you manage to peel off all the constricting fabric in your way before carefully pulling his head into your lap, placing a flurry of kisses onto the slope of his hairline. he flinches after the first press of your lips against him, but eventually, sae relaxes in your hold with a barely perceptible scowl plastered onto his face.
"i can't believe you saw me like this. so tepid." he grumbles as you smile softly, threading a hand through his locks and carefully parting the hair—a fruitless attempt to tame it, unfortunately.
"sae, i promise the sight of you like this isn't tepid or lukewarm, or whatever it is you're always saying. everyone's hair is a bit of a mess in the morning, so please don't feel embarrassed—"
"i am not embarrassed—"
"—and please don't think you have to put up a front with me like you do with everyone else! i don't want you to go style your hair right now, i want you relax just as you are. so, please lay back down." you huff, and sae remains silent. he seems to be deep in thought, brows pinching together and lips slightly pursed as he drew mindless circles on your knee before ultimately heaving a sigh
"...fine. i'll stay."
he's too embarssed to thank you for making him feel more human than machine, so instead, sae will call the hotel receptionist when you finally do get out of bed to use the restroom and order every breakfast item they have on the menu (it's because he doesn't know which one'll be your favorite, this is his first time waking up with you, after all), he'll allow you to brush his hair, shampoo it, blow-dry it, play with it—whatever it is you want to do because he tolerates you, and only because he tolerates you.
and maybe he'll even offer you a kiss on the lips for... well, that one would just be because he wants to kiss you.
christmas morning settles softly over madrid, the city quiet in that rare, reverent way sae itoshi secretly loves. the apartment smells like coffee and pine from the small tree tucked into the corner, decorated simply because excess never suited him.
she’s still half-asleep when she wanders into the living room, hair messy, wrapped in one of his sweaters that hangs off her shoulder. sae looks up from the couch, mug in hand, and something in his chest eases the way it always does when he sees her like this—unguarded, real.
“merry christmas,” he says, low and gentle, setting the mug aside.
she smiles, sleepy and warm, and sits beside him. sae pulls a blanket over both of them without a word, a quiet habit formed over months. outside, distant church bells ring, and inside, the world feels paused just for them.
they exchange gifts slowly. nothing flashy—hers is a neatly wrapped box with a scarf in her favorite color, chosen carefully, deliberately. when she unwraps it, her eyes soften, and she immediately drapes it around her neck. sae watches, pretending not to care as much as he does.
his gift is smaller. when he opens it, he finds a photo of the two of them from months ago, tucked into a simple frame. he doesn’t speak for a moment. instead, he reaches for her hand, squeezing once, grounding.
“you remember things,” she says quietly.
“i don’t forget,” sae replies.
later, they stand by the window, watching faint snow dust the streets below. she leans into him, and he rests his chin on her head, arms secure around her. no cameras, no expectations, no noise—just a rare day where football doesn’t demand him and time moves gently.
for sae itoshi, christmas isn’t about tradition or celebration. it’s about this: warmth, stillness, and the person who makes silence feel like home.
those were the last words you heard from sae. honestly, it seemed like he wanted to say more, but he held back. with a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure his parents weren’t watching, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead before walking away. you could’ve sworn his ears were tinged pink.
rin nudged you with a smirk, the kind that screamed mischief. “i saw that,” he muttered under his breath, grinning annoyingly. you rolled your eyes in response, brushing off his teasing.
still, those unsaid words lingered in your mind. you hoped they were what you thought they were. the three words that would have secured his spot in your future, the spot next to your bed, and the spot on your left ring finger. but even without saying them, you felt like you were already his. that kiss said enough.
a few years. that’s not too bad, right?
your relationship with sae during his early months in spain was great. though he wasn’t the type to communicate much, you could tell that he was actually trying. every few days, you’d get a call from him. one time, when you asked why he always opted to call instead of text, he simply responded, “typing is annoying.” in truth however, he just wanted to hear your voice.
but as the months passed, the calls grew less frequent. rin complained (and teased) especially, since you were the only one sae kept in touch with. you bribed rin with the popsicle sae used to buy to shut him up, and he immediately stopped sulking.
the turning point in your relationship came about a year after sae left. the calls turned into texts, reserved only for special occasions.
sae: happy birthday
[name]: i miss you
he left you on read, no response. after that, sae stopped reaching out entirely. your attempts to contact him went unanswered. you were his, but was he still yours?
no. was he ever yours to begin with?
in the three years without sae, you often felt like something was missing. the ache was subtle but constant. those years were especially hard: dealing with your studies, fending off a few persistent suitors, and enduring rin's teenage phase. honestly, you managed just fine. rin was great for scaring off suitors with a single glare, and you threw yourself into studying as a distraction. but the hardest part, the part you could never quite get used to, was the feeling of longing for someone halfway across the world.
once, you even tried to let someone else in, to open your heart just a little. and then you saw one of sae's interviews—calm, stoic, untouchable. that was all it took to slam your heart shut again. you felt sorry for the person you'd rejected, but not as sorry as you felt for yourself. you knew how pathetic it was to yearn for someone who probably didn’t even think of you.
now, at seventeen, you’re packing your life into boxes, shoving them into the back of a car. you hug your parents goodbye as they tearfully remind you to call often (which brought a dagger to your heart as you remember a specific someone), their voices cracking with pride and sadness. you’re not just leaving for university. you’re leaving behind everything—this house, this town, and the memories that haunted you.
and then, in a heartbeat, everything changed.
as you pulled out of the driveway, your thoughts consumed by all that you were leaving behind, the world outside blurred into an indistinct haze. a momentary distraction—a glance at your phone, a message from sae.
sae: i'm here. can we talk?
your heart dropped. why was he here, now of all times? you couldn't help but feel a spark of hope. you believed that he loved you—at least, the younger sae did. a part of you longed to believe that he still loved you like he did back then.
you loved him in that spring, and as much as you hated to admit it, you still loved him in this winter. but what about him? doubts began to creep in. maybe you had outgrown each other. maybe sae had outgrown you. maybe you’d become a distraction to him, dead weight—nothing but a reminder of a past he could no longer hold on to. perhaps this was just his way of giving you closure.
the questions lingered in your mind: “did you only love me because of that kiss? did you only love me because of the promises you made? does some part of you feel like you owe it to the boy you used to be? do you only love me ‘cause you have to?”
the screech of tires, the crunch of metal against metal, and then the darkness swallowed you whole. in those final moments, as the realization of what was happening crashed over you, the last remnants of sae’s voice echoed in your mind, blending with the chaos of the moment. you had been ready to leave it all behind, but now, it seemed, the goodbyes you gave would be your last.
“i’ll leave you two alone,” rin whispers, taking one last glance at your tombstone before walking away.
“sorry,” sae whispers. though there are a million things he wants to say, that's all he’s able to let out. afraid that if he talks any more, his facade will break down, and the carefully constructed walls he built around his heart will shatter under the weight of his grief. he wishes he could have been the one to love you more. he clenches his fists, feeling the sting of unshed tears burning at the corners of his eyes.
it hurts to know he will never hear your voice again, never be able to kiss your forehead again, and the crushing weight of it all leaves him hollow. a shell of the person he used to be, forever haunted by the knowledge that he let you slip away when he should have fought to keep you close.
“i'll take my leave now,” he whispers to rin, hands in his pockets with the coldest expression rin has ever seen.
the younger itoshi wanted to say something. fight in your stead for all the pain his elder brother had caused you, but he understood that causing a scene here wouldn’t be good.
you love when his bangs are downwards. he looks extremely cute even if he insists on fixing them so they’re up. so when he asks you to trim them, how could you not accept?
he’s fresh out the shower, hair damp and body slightly wet, a single towel hanging low on his hips. he sits down on the chair you brought, and looks at you with expectant teal eyes while you’re grabbing the brush and hair scissors.
“okay, baby. don’t move” you whisper, brushing his hair and his bangs, fixing them so she can cut. the hair cover half of his eyes, so you align a brush with them, making sure is straight before starting to cut his hair. his red locks make him scrunch his nose when some of them fall on his face, his gaze dropping to the floor where his hair rests. “there you go”
you smile, brushing his hair while sae’s looking at you with his usual bored expression. he stands up, his whole 180cm standing up next to you as he approaches to look at himself in the mirror. “not bad”, he shrugs.
you arch an eyebrow amused and smack his biceps playfully, he barely moves but looks at you. blinks. then arches an eyebrow as well. “yeah, whatever. love you, too” you roll your eyes as you shake your head, pecking his lips. you take a soft towel to remove the cut hair off his body carefully, yet you swallow when his hands reach your hips.
“thank you” he whispers and tugs you closer. “anytime, handsome” you smile and cup his cheeks, peppering him with soft kisses all over his face. he doesn’t resists, doesn’t complains — because despite his nonchalance, deep down sae loves being your pampered baby.
