āHeās been uploading clips to YouTube for eight years, but there was one thing Joey Graceffa didnāt share with his nearly 5 million subscribers: his sexuality. āI felt like I was hiding such a big part of my life. I share so much of my life with them, I felt almost like I was lying to them and I couldnāt be as open,ā the daily video blogger tells PEOPLE. āAnd then it just kind of hit me: I have this following, and I could change some peopleās lives out there by being honest with who I am.ā So, on May 16, the Internet famous 24-year-old told his audience his secret, posting a fairytale-themed 4Ā½-minute music video called āDonāt Waitā in which he kisses another man at the end. (Two days later, he shared another clip called āYes Iām Gay,ā where he opens up more about his decision to come out.)
Why He Waited Coming out was a process for Graceffa, who grew up in Marlborough, Massachusetts, but now lives in L.A. āItās been the biggest question on my YouTube channel, ever since I started. One of the first [comments] was āAre you gay?ā or telling me I was gay. And for a long time, I would get so offended by those comments because I just wasnāt out to myself yet. I hadnāt fully accepted myself,ā he explains. But, when Graceffa was 20, he started coming out, first to his best friend. āIt just came up because I was actually asked on a date by a guy, and I was like, āOh my God, I need to tell someone about this,ā ā he remembers, adding he went on to tell his sister and other close friends before telling his parents. While he has no regrets today, Graceffa did initially have some reservations sharing this part of his life so publicly on the Internet. āThere was a lot of hesitation to come out online because of growing up in my town: It wasnāt acceptable to be gay; it was looked down upon,ā he says of his initial reluctance. āAnd also, a lot of people used the term 'gayā as an insult.ā Making a Difference Now that heās come out to his audience, Graceffa hopes to make a difference and help others struggling to come to terms with their sexuality ā and he already has. Graceffa released his first memoir, In Real Life, earlier this month, and lots of fans have shared their own stories while meeting him on his book tour. āI definitely feel more open and free with who I am, and I think thatās inspired a lot of other people to also do the same and have come out to their friends and family,ā he says. āSome people on my book tour have come up to me and whispered in my ear, 'Iām gay, too.ā And itās so heavy because I donāt have the time to really sit down and talk to them ā like, I want to say so much more to you! Itās just so cool to see the fact that they were inspired by my video to come out, and they feel much better after doing it.āĀ
Even if he doesnāt get to talk to all of his fans about their individual journeys, he has a message for them: "I would just tell them how proud I am of them and that lifeās gonna get so much easier for them after coming out. There might be some bumps in the road that theyāre going to come across, but ultimately, their happiness is the most important thing. "Theyāre on the path to achieving their ultimate happiness because they can be who they are ā so good on them!ā ā
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