i will always be useful

[l1felike]

#L1FELIKE ... a private vtm au for AZUNE NAYAR of cr4. under construction + mature, triggering themes will be present. follows back from @4zune.

THE COTERIE: @bleedingdve, @bleedsthrough, @nessfang, @sangu1no, @wulfhart ( BONUS vtm sideblog is on @aramanbynight)

primary verse: thin-blood, from a tzimisce sire. aligned with baron of hollywood thjazi fang and the anarchs. posing as a spy inside camarilla presence in la.

secondary verse: mokolé, a werelizard. separated from his roots and family azune has been raised by kindred since he was a child, specifically both fang brothers. his own customs slowly come to him in dreams but during the day and night, he acts for the interests of the baron of hollywood. (his suchid form is a mexican beaded lizard, and his archid form is a sunset colored feathered serpent)

[bleedsthrough]

He has been thinking about this a long time. Thinking, thinking, thinking, do you ever do something else, Occtis? Or fear has you so frozen that you just wait for others to do it for you? All of these people, they don't his family like he does; they hadn't have face the force of entropy that is his father, they truly don't know what they're dealing with. You've been trying to tell them, haven't you? But be honest, who would listen to a coward?

Azune's words hit harder than he thinks they will. A part of him feels for the child that was lost in a constant struggle not be seen. Takes one to know one, doesn't it? He gets lost in those sunset eyes for a second, looking for that fear, perhaps, or maybe just basking on someone's undivided attention.

" I am saying we all should be careful on how we act, " is what he ends up saying, sickly green eyes breaking from the direct contact, you can hurt yourself, looking directly at the sun like that " I know this place feels safe for now, but--- " he breathes, guesses a truth for a truth is not such a bad deal. " I wish I just knew how to stop looking over my shoulder every night. "

[l1felike]

A light chuckle escapes his lips, although perhaps it is a cruel involuntary choice. It is not Occtis' fault to be naive like that. No, that's not quite right either. It's not naivety, it's hope that a place will welcome him enough to protect him beyond doubt. He'd like to promise that, but the kindred society is so convoluted it might turn out to be a lie and he doesn't wish to lie to him.

“You're not going to stop looking. Certainly not here, maybe not ever.” YOU'RE GOING TO SCARE HIM EVEN MORE, WHEN YOU WERE TRYING TO REASSURE HIM. He should be scared, we're the first to go if something will go sideways. You're in my head you know that. TOO PARANOID, OR NOT PARANOID ENOUGH?

“Have you ever seen a cat play with a mouse? The way it toys with it before killing it? We're the mice in this world. We can be around cats all we want, but it doesn't mean they'll protect us.” MAYBE THEY WON'T PROTECT YOU, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT? OCCTIS HAS A LINEAGE THAT MAKES HIM USEFUL IN THEIR HANDS. But Occtis is certainly not his enemy, quite the opposite, so if he wishes this to work he has too reign in back in. “But I hear you, so thank you for looking out for me.”

[nessfang]

nessa has closed her eyes. up here, the thump of the base from the party below is quieter. but she still hears it. a steady thrum. like a heartbeat. " oh, it isn't the same? " the breeze catches her voice, blowing it around him.

" a cub wades into the deepest part of the river. ' i will catch the biggest fish, ' she says, ' the one the other bears are too old to grasp and let slip through their paws. the one the other bears are too stupid to notice. i will get it and i will fill myself to bursting so that when winter comes, i will outlast them all.' and the young cub, woefully underestimating her ability to keep her head above the cold waters, scrambles to grasp something life changing in her hands. " her shoulders drop, as if some of the weight of what she carries, whatever it might be, is freed by the story.

" for what the cub does not see in her youth is the craftiness of the older bears, who know it is a fool's errand to go where their paws slip on stone. and they, never having to lift a finger, watch as the young cub loses herself to the water and the cold. they watch as she drowns and they laugh. " nessa opens her eyes, leveling her gaze to the back of azune's head. " a bear cub. a young ventrue. a thinblood. our stories are all the same in the end. knowledge is power, yes. but at the cost of what? "

[l1felike]

There is a silence that stretches between them, filled with the outside noise. She's lived more than he possibly imagine, but she's forgotten the way things are laid out for others. A cub, a ventrue and a thinblood will never weigh the same in the scale. She may have been a young cub, unaware of her the possibility of her power and the dangers that lied in within it. But he is a mouse with a ticking clock of when he'll be caught. Many milestones in his life had came and passed with the surprise he made it in each one. Maybe his unlife holds the same, or maybe he's running to his death with blind eyes.

Perhaps a magpie is more accurate of a comparison. A stubborn bird capable of finding treasures between what others have overlooked. Most people pay no attention but they know how to make noise and how to look out for their own. “I'm not a fool, Nessa. You want to see me drown either way. It's a matter of drowning by my own hand or the older bears pushing me into the stream.” THE COST ALWAYS COMES FOR CURIOUS LITTLE MICE. Coteries of thinbloods fall for the grace of one full blooded kindred. He knows the tales.

“The right piece of knowledge, or if I'm very lucky, a favor is the difference between my survival and the final death.” He has no false dreams of power over others, only securing his own life for a little while longer. “I have an idea of why we're going to bring the end of kindreds. But I'm curious of what you do think. Cub to cub if you like to call it as such.”

[sangu1no]

It’s not the worst he’s been hurt, not even close, but it will still take him a couple of days to get back to his usual self. There is only so much a body, even a dead one, can fix. His pretty features are marred by deeply dark bruises, something that probably broke the bone underneath. And he moves with the cautious, measured steps that speak of damage. Yet whatever happened, didn’t happen that night, his clothes are clean, the wounds washed. 

Maybe Azune takes it as a slight, that he didn’t come to him first, but he didn’t want to come to him or Nessa with that kind of hunger. It wasn’t a question of whether they could or couldn’t stop him, he knew better than to even tempt fate or the affection of the few people that even gave a damn about him.

But luring a pretty thing to hunt hadn’t been as easy, wounded as he was. In the end it had been some poor asshole, who just saw a young person, hurt and in apparent distress and tried to help him. Wanted to know if he could call someone for him. Not even a perv, just a regular good guy, heading home after work. 

A father. That’s what he said. ‘If my daughters were ever in trouble I would want someone kind to help them.’ 

Azune’s hands pull him back from that moment, sunset eyes drawing him with an almost hypnotic lure, away from the pit and the death that should and shouldn’t weigh on him. There is no winning in that regard, it’s always going to cost something.

“Why…” it takes him a moment to find his voice, distant and detached, belonging to someone else.

He drank your blood. Remember what it felt when you drank kindred blood, that fierce adoration? Isn’t that what you feel right now? 

But…

What else could it be? Why would he care? He barely knows you. 

He nuzzles Azune’s hand, and even the hurt that thought brings is a comfort, something strong enough to pull him back into his body.

“It’s the blood, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I— it was stupid. I just wanted to feel close to you.”

[l1felike]

Azune still bruises like a mortal man, and aches just as much. Julien, clanless as he also is has a much higher tolerance. Which brings the conclusion of whatever happen to have been a terrible night. Something aches in him to thing of the night, possibly nights, Julien spent alone. He has not shared this apartment for a long time, but he knows the effects of sleeping without something sentimental carried with him. Julien does not belong to that category, but an instinct claws at having to spent this alone anyway.

Despite the words, there's a reaction that speaks louder of what really is Julien's wish. This contact, the comfort that's shared. He craves it with an intensity that might rivals blood, or even surpass it. They're alike on more grounds that he initially thought. Underneath their masks, they're still two lonely souls offering their no longer beating heart with bloody fingers, hoping someone would accept it.

He doesn't let Julien pull away, keeping him in a loose embrace. “I wanted it too,” he whispers by the shell of Julien's ear. YOU WANTED IT WITH THJAZI, TOO. TRYING TO PROVE YOU WERE HIS LOYAL LITTLE FALCON AND KEPT TRYING EVEN AFTER HE CUT YOU OFF. This is different. OH, IS IT? ALL YOU'LL BE IS THEIR LITTLE OBEDIENT WEAPON.

The thought is swallowed and pulled to the side. “It needs to be consistently for a bond to form.” WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE? JULIEN OR YOURSELF? “But... we, I- We can stop if it upsets you. I usually hunt animals.” CAN YOU? YOU KNOW HOW GOOD THE TASTE OF VITAE IS.

Carefully, like there is a precious thing in his arms, the pad of his fingers brushes away any curls that have fallen in front of his face. It's unfair, really, how beautiful he remains to be even with the purple bruising spreading through his skin. “Come to bed with me.”

His eyes stare right into Julien's. “You should rest." He wonders, sometimes, if other kindred feel like he's taunting them every time they look at the sun, that they can no longer see, reflected in his gaze.

[zachrp]

ᝰ🚬 𝚉𝙰𝙲𝙷𝚁𝙿 .ᐟ RANDOM TEXT MESSAGE PROMPTS. CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS IF NECESSARY. SOME MATURE THEMES MAY BE PRESENT.

[TXT] : answer the question.

[TXT] : you left your jacket here.

[TXT] : ignore that last message.

[TXT] : must be my fault somehow.

[TXT] : this was a bad idea but i'm doing it anyway.

[TXT] : guess i misunderstood the vibe.

[TXT] : i'm only texting you because i'm drunk.

[TXT] : i can't stop thinking about your hands.

[TXT] : you're not gonna believe this..

[TXT] : i'm blushing shut up.

[TXT] : okay wait no don't answer that.

[TXT] : i didn't say anything because i didn't want to argue.

[TXT] : be honest with me.

[TXT] : are you free tonight?

[TXT] : i'll explain later, just call me now!

[TXT] : i like it when you looked at me like that.

[TXT] : i should stop texting before this escalates.

[TXT] : i keep rereading that message.

[TXT] : are you trying to distract me on purpose.

[TXT] : i hate that you were right.

[TXT] : you'd be so proud of me right now and also disappointed.

[TXT] : cheers to bad decisions.

[TXT] : i had a dream about you.

[TXT] : i thought you were coming?

[TXT] : wow that's crazy.

[TXT] : it's whatever honestly.

[TXT] : your stuff is still here.

[TXT] : open the door.

[TXT] : what are you doing right now?

[TXT] : don't screenshot this.

[TXT] : don't make me ask twice.

[TXT] : i'm grabbing coffee, want one?

[TXT] : what are we?

[TXT] : no really it's fine.

[TXT] : you don't have to lie.

[TXT] : i don't feel great.

[TXT] : don't rush i've only been waiting.

[TXT] : i forgot the grocery list.

[TXT] : don't do this over text.

[TXT] : did i do something wrong?

[TXT] : i don't trust myself around you.

[TXT] : running late sorry.

[TXT] : you make it hard to be good.

[TXT] : i told myself i wouldn't text you tonight.

[TXT] : are you mad at me.

[TXT] : please answer me.

[TXT] : i told you not to do that.

[TXT] : can i come over?

[TXT] : i'm outside.

[TXT] : you're being unfair.

[TXT] : that's not an excuse.

[TXT] : can you stay on the phone with me?

[TXT] : are you busy?

[TXT] : please tell me you're okay.

[TXT] : i think i fucked up.

[TXT] : i need to vent.

[TXT] : do you want food?

[TXT] : this is messing with my head.

[TXT] : i should not be imagining this right now.

[TXT] : are you mad at me?

[TXT] : please say something.

[TXT] : can you lie for me?

[TXT] : i found your keys!

[TXT] : i just thought you'd let me know.

[TXT] : i know you're awake.

[TXT] : stay the night.

[TXT] : you look good and you know it.

[TXT] : this reminded me of you!

[TXT] : this conversation is not helping my self control.

[TXT] : i love how you only respond when it's convenient.

[TXT] : i love you and i hate that i love you.

[TXT] : you left me on read.

[TXT] : i cleared my schedule.

[TXT] : i can't keep doing this.

[TXT] : are you alone?

[TXT] : stuck in traffic.

[TXT] : you could've just said no.

[TXT] : i don't want to be alone.

[TXT] : who are you with?

[TXT] : something has to change.

[TXT] : if you were here right now i'd be in serious trouble.

[TXT] : i'm done.

[TXT] : don't tease me.

[TXT] : i'm getting worried.

[TXT] : oh okay i guess we're not talking anymore.

[TXT] : where are you??

[TXT] : i'm thinking about you.

[TXT] : i hate nights like this without you.

[TXT] : can you come get me?

[TXT] : look up.

[TXT] : i trust you.

[TXT] : i need help.

[TXT] : this is flirting right?

[TXT] : i changed my mind about earlier.

[TXT] : it's fine do whatever you want.

[TXT] : it's not what it looked like, okay?

[TXT] : my brain won't shut up about last night.

[TXT] : please come get me before i make worse choices.

[TXT] : that was not funny.

[TXT] : i'm proud of you.

[TXT] : i don't know why i'm telling you this.

[TXT] : i'm sorry, i should've said something sooner

[TXT] : please don't be mad..

[TXT] : are you coming over or just teasing me?

[TXT] : i won't bother you again.

[TXT] : i almost sent this three times.

[TXT] : did you get home safe?

[TXT] : you don't owe me anything clearly.

[TXT] : i miss you.

[TXT] : guess who i just ran into..

[TXT] : i can't sleep.

[TXT] : i need clarity.

[TXT] : tell me to behave.

[TXT] : okay fine you win.

[TXT] : hello?

[TXT] : you did good.

[TXT] : do you miss me?

[TXT] : i'm bored, entertain me.

[TXT] : are you safe??

[TXT] : you're unbelievable.

[TXT] : i shouldn't have said what i said earlier.

[TXT] : i hope you're asleep because this is embarrassing.

[TXT] : don't ever say that again.

[TXT] : are you flirting with me?

[TXT] : you owe me gas money.

[TXT] : stop avoiding me.

[TXT] : call me when you see this!

[TXT] : you still mad?

[TXT] : can we talk in person?

[TXT] : can i crash at your place?

[TXT] : you're going to get me in trouble.

[TXT] : i'm spiraling.

[TXT] : you're doing this on purpose.

[TXT] : okay i'm done texting now.

[TXT] : you look cute.

[TXT] : glad you had fun.

[TXT] : i'm exhausted.

[TXT] : i'm trying to be respectful but you're not helping.

[TXT] : why would you think that was okay??

[TXT] : i want to move on.

[TXT] : thanks for the heads up i guess.

[TXT] : you left your panties here for a reason didn't you.

[TXT] : you know exactly what you're doing.

[TXT] : please don't tell anyone.

[TXT] : remember when we said we wouldn't do this again.

[TXT] : i can't find my shoes.

[TXT] : do you always do this or just to me?

[TXT] : tell me you don't miss me so i can shut up.

[TXT] : you crossed a line.

[TXT] : you up?

[TXT] : you didn't have to do that.

[TXT] : don't get smug.

[TXT] : i'm on my way!

[TXT] : i should not be saying this.

[TXT] : remind me to tell you later.

[TXT] : come over.

[l1felike]

@bleedingdve asked: you taste like you want to be kept.

He blinks low and heavy, as he's curled up against Babel. They didn't take too much, always careful with that, but something today has made him more pliant. A tiredness that's settled in his bones, a feeling he wants to forget. YOU GIVE IN SO EASILY... ALL FOR SOME DROPS OF VITAE IN RETURN. “I do,” he hums low and hazy. Against every instinct, he feels safe in their arms like this. I'M SURE THE ANIMALS YOU FEED ON FEEL THE SAME WAY. EAGER TO BE HELD BY SOMEONE ONLY FOR YOU TO BRING THEIR DEMISE.

“You could keep me here, and I...” YOU WHAT? YOU'D PROVE HOW USEFUL YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOU LIE FOR THJAZI? MINE CAN SO EASILY CROSS THE LINE TO YOURS. A blush covers his cheeks, one of the signs he's more prey than predator, as he nuzzles Babel's shoulder. Whatever lies inside him is loud tonight, and that's maybe why he wants to be kept by them. As if that would drive the voice off. “Sorry, 'think 'm hungrier than I thought.” Except he doesn't want to leave this lovely embrace, but sleep until the night comes again.

[l1felike]

@sangu1no asked: " you don't understand, it doesn't matter what happens to me. "

It is like his vitae turns to ice in the snap of fingers. He feels like he's going to be sick, and something claws inside his chest trying to escape.

LOOK AT YOU, ALREADY DESPERATE NOT TO LOSE ANYONE ELSE. DO YOU REALLY CARE? OR IS THIS JUST ANOTHER LIE? Stop, it's Julien. I— YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE. YOU KNOW WHAT BLOOD IS LIKE.

Calloused fingers wrap around Julien's wrist, breaking his gaze from whatever point in the void he's letting himself slip into and giving him a lighthouse in sunset colors. His other hand cups his face, palm sprawled between jawline and neck. It is easy for Julien to break this grip, but Azune hopes with a trembling in his figure that he doesn't.

The words nearly come out as a hiss, “It does— It matters to me.” WHO HAS EVER TAKEN YOU SERIOUSLY TO DO SO NOW? EVEN IF JULIEN BELIEVES YOU, YOU CAN'T HELP HIM LIKE THIS. “They can't have you too.” Not the Anarchs, not the Camarilla, not even Nessa if she plans to throw him at the next threat like a shield. He has no claim, no power to enforce that besides his words. And words usually work in his favor.

His thumb gently brushes over the bruised cheek. They hurt him and the beast inside him seethes, it's beginning to claw its way out and— “We'll get your vengeance. We're their ruin, right? We're supposed to bring their end, but I'm not going to let you ruin yourself too.”

[gaypeople]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT - 3.06 “Montreal”

[l1felike]

feel free to share your ideas abt how your characters look in this verse BC 🫵 i might sketch them tomorrow

[jodi-comer]

KILLING EVE (2018-2022) | 3x08: Are You Leading or Am I? 

[l1felike]

@wulfhart asked: " i prefer alleys. less witnesses. "

The heartbeat of every person walking on the street is loud on his ears but he's not that hungry that he can't control himself. Still he's overly aware of every footstep crossing near them. “I know Thjazi asked you to teach me how to ... hunt.” WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING THIS? NO ONE THAT EVER CARED ABOUT YOU IS ALIVE SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SOME OF IT BACK? But he hadn't seen Kattigan feed on a mortal or a bag during the brief time Azune had spent with them. When he spoke of a hunt, he did not mean mortals. So maybe there is another way.

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THJAZI WILL LET YOU LEECH OFF OF HIM? HE'S ALREADY STARTING TO PUSH YOU AWAY. NO MATTER HOW GOOD AND USEFUL YOU ARE, IT WILL NOT BE ENOUGH. “You feed from animals, don't you?” he asks, voice low and careful. “Could you show me how to do that?” He doesn't know what it is that stops him from going after mortals. Maybe because he doesn't feel as far away from them. Heart still beating for a body that does not need to.

[l1felike]

@lethalbody asked: " I've seen you strong. This doesn't make you weak. "

The tears run freely down his cheeks, and he can't stop them no matter how many times he tries. Viscous and red as they mix with his skin and hair. It's all loud, so very loud and he wants it to just stop. He can't go back to the Round like this, can't show them the Camarilla has a way to break him even if they don't know it yet. So he went to the theatre, hoping that would calm him somewhat.

There are arms around his frame, pulling him close, holding him from trying to do something stupid. He can smell who it is, and he melts against Eddie. THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE YOU THE SAME WAY AGAIN. NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS. YOU'RE A LIABILITY NOW AND YOU'VE SEEN HIM LIE BEFORE. DIDN'T YOU SEE THE WAY THEY LET NAOMI GO SO EASILY.

“I- can't make it stop,” he whispers like it's a wretched secret. They don't worry about him. That's the thing. He can always handle what he's given. “Remember Jade? All the lights and noises and- I can't.” YOU'RE NOT SAYING THE TRUTH. HE CAN'T HELP IF HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU SAW AND HEARD WITH THAT ABILITY.

[l1felike]

kindred a.zune for your consideration 🙂‍↕️

[l1felike]

@bleedsthrough asked: " you're not afraid enough. "

He would be a fool not to notice the way Occtis' shoulders tense every time his... former family comes up, and he would be a liar to say he does not understand it. A liar he is, but not with them. Certainly not with another thinblood. “I am. I am afraid every time I go in there.”

YOU ARE THE BOTTOM OF THE FOOD CHAIN AND YOU BOTH KNOW IT.

“I've just learned to hide it very well, since before I died.” The Hallowed Round is a relatively safe space for that discussion. Most of Thjazi's close circle know of his work. A knife perhaps to fall if he ever thinks of betraying them. That is not what matters right now though.

BUT THERE IS SAFETY IN THAT, POWER. NOT ALL KNOWLEDGE IS DANGEROUS TO SHARE. YOU'LL STILL BE USEFUL.

“Did you want to warn me of something?” Wide sunset eyes look at him, void of lies and schemes and power for once. Just a curiosity to be indulged. “Or, do you want to learn how to not look afraid?”

[th1nbloods]

#TH1NBLOODS …. a selective and low activity dual blog for KATIE MARSHALL + JADE MORGGAN from project ghostlight’s actual play private nightmares. embraced by sol.

[l1felike]

real talk tho azune & mayali could easily have been mokolé instead of vamps in the general setting. lil hatchlings with the duty to remember. but vamps we're focusing on vamps rn.

[l1felike]

mayali is a c.amarilla ghoul 😔