2023 LA Noire stans wya!!! | Roy apologist | shitpost connoisseur | Also I will write Roy imagines/fics ā¦ā¦please give me an excuse to spam the tags
The 17th of May was the 15th anniversary of one of the best games ever (in my humble opinion), L.A. Noire! By complete coincidence I happened to be replaying it right now.
Here's some silly LAN art I made around four years ago now (omg, how time flies). šµāāļø
Shout out to this random NPC from Hazbin Hotel season 2 who showed up for maybe 0.9 seconds and immediately reminded me of Roy aka my problematic emotional support antagonist and inspired me to write some shit about him
This is actually pretty tame (sex is mentioned but this isnāt smut bc this aināt ao3) but Roy is his own warning tbfh
He knows how important first impressions are so will 110% act like a gentleman and smooth talk his way into a date
Heāll go all out as far as impressing you (donāt expect anything too fancy though, because heās not that careless with his money) but heāll spoil you and make you feel oh-so special until he gets you in his bed
Thatās when the real fun begins
By that I mean, homeboy starts to show his true colors after you start letting him hit
Itās not obvious at first but eventually you notice that he stops making an effort to take you out on dates or spoil you with presents
Your calls go unanswered and he doesnāt even attempt to return them
Unfortunately, the bastard is strategic and so heās careful not ghost you completely because he always needs a few good holes on standby and youāre a pretty solid lay
Thus once in a while, heāll stop by your place with some presents and a well-rehearsed apology that sounds just sincere enough to make you give him another chance
And another
And another
Logic seems to leave you whenever heās involved because you know heās a piece of shit but for some reason, you never seem to be able to shut the door in his face each time he casually shows up after days to weeks of acting like you donāt exist
As your patience wears thin, you become less capable of suppressing your annoyance at his actions
Which means you start to call him out on his bullshit and stop trying to prove yourself as being worth his investment
He said before he canāt stand women who didnāt know their place so you try to do exactly that in hopes that heāll actually get mad at you and leave permanently (because despite him always being a prick who clearly sees you as nothing more than another one of his playthings, youāre oddly attached to him and you know it would hurt more to formally part ways than if he just completely ghosted you)
What you donāt realize is that he actually seems to enjoy the passive aggression and gets a kick out of your hostile attitude
Heās genuinely amused that youāve lasted this long without asking him to get the fuck out of your life much like the other broads in his rotation did once they realized that he was just stringing them along
So Roy decides to see just how long it takes for you to reach your limit, fully prepared for you to give up on him within the month at latest
But then the month ends and youāre still letting him into your apartment, still letting him complain about his annoyingly rule-abiding partner and the stupid cases he drags Roy around to actually solve
Youāre still letting him in after he shows up at your place with a split lip and bruised knuckles from his latest run-in with the local hopheads, and youāre quick to get him some ice and rub his shoulders as he makes himself comfortable on the sofa (two months)
Youāre still letting him in at shit oāclock in the morning when you should be asleep for your early shift because youād heard heād gotten into a shootout that day and you refused to head to bed until you saw him return in one piece (five months)
Youāre still letting him in after some scandals come to light and he has to temporarily abandon his apartment until things settle down, not even raising an eyebrow when you see him hauling two large suitcases into your bedroom (eight months)
Roy doesnāt fall in love right away; in fact, it doesnāt occur to him that what heās feeling is love at all because he always believed himself to be above all that mushy shit
All he knows is that youāre familiar and he doesnāt have to try as hard when heās around you
That he genuinely hasnāt gotten bored of you and actually enjoys your company even if he wonāt admit it
Heāll never call you the most beautiful thing in existence or tell you that his life never felt truly complete until he met you, but he does buy a house for the two of you to move in and gives you full access to his finances
Heād rather die than admit that to him, youāre the most important person in the world and he actually wouldnāt know what to do if you finally come to your senses and realize that he doesnāt deserve you, but he does slip a pretty diamond ring on your finger while youāre asleep and pretends like he has no idea what it means when you ask him about it in the morning
He only says āI love youā in the most exaggerated, most sarcastic and mocking way possible, but you donāt miss the way his cheeks light up and he chokes on his cig whenever you parrot the sentiment with a grin
Youāre warned that Roy is simply toying with you and taking advantage of your naivety (and to be fair, thatās exactly what he did initially) but you figure that you must mean something to him if heās always coming home to you as soon as his shift ends, speeding past all the jazz clubs and bars so he can kiss you as soon as you open the front door
But donāt be fooledāheās still a smug bastard through and through
Itās simply part of hisā¦ charming personality and you never exactly sought to change him
Naturally, he does piss you off from time to time, except now heās not exactly as keen to find out just how much of his shit youāll take before giving up
Not that heāll ever let you leave, of course
Youāre stuck with him now, whether you like it or not
My only regret about getting into L.A. Noire is the fact that I now know Iāll NEVER be able to play šæšæThe šæšæ Black šæššæšæCaesaršæšæšæ for the first time ever again
Where do you sit in the camp of 'Roy was being somewhat genuine at Cole's funeral' camp? Because damn I just finished the game and I refuse to believe the man is THAT much of a good actor he'd slip in a voice crack lmao
(Props to Adam J Harrington for it though)
Tbfh I feel like Adam J Harrington accidentally made that noise after saying that whole speech and Team Bondi just went with it because that was probably their best take lmfao
But just looking at Roy, I think to an extent he felt a little bad about how this whole thing ended because Iām sure he did think Cole was a good detective and had potential. Plus that whole affair with Elsa and watching Cole act more and more like a dick probably made Roy think Cole would end up just being another dirty cop like him down the road, meaning theyād probably be besties.
Also Roy strikes me as the type of person who will do the least amount of work as long as he can get away with it so even if Monroe sent him, how would anyone even check if he really did his job? Homeboy couldāve just gone to the Blue Room and grabbed a drink and be paid for it (or not gone at all) but he still chose to actually warn Cole. If he wanted him dead, he couldāve just not said anything and nobody would know.
At the very least, I genuinely think Roy felt that Coleās death was a waste and wasnāt something he necessarily wanted to happen but also wouldnāt go out of his way to prevent.
(Plus I think Roy was a good cop at one point but just got fucked up the longer he worked in Vice and saw how corrupt the LAPD was so maybe that was the decent part left in him actually feeling grief idk)
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