violations here, violations there

bending lab safety guidelines since 2022 [mad science blog for an oc— kinda. i'll get the hang of this one day. asks will be answered in character unless in these brackets!!]

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

The patient struggles.

They twist and they turn, under my hands. They writhe and jolt.

But this is not who I want, here, in my lab.

This is a loathsome excuse for a replica of him— my assistant is not here. He would not struggle. He would not cry. My assistant would relax to my touch, my assistant would smile and assure me that I'm doing no harm by him. My assistant would not be screaming, as you are. My assistant's body does not bend in the way this one does, my assistant's eyes are not this color. My assistant's voice doesn't sound like this.

He does not beg as you do. Does not plead for my mercy.

You, are not my assistant. You are a replica. And a poor one at that— so I wonder.

Imposter. Does your heart look the same, as his? Do you bleed the same?

If I tear you to shreds. If I shatter you. If I break you, and if I ruin you until you're no longer. Would you still love me, as he does?

Would you forgive me, and would you hold me, like him?

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

id like to hear about the drain soup i dont think i had those as a kid

Storm Drain Soup is a delicacy in over 39 countries, rest assured. (It is not. That is not a real fact. And, I wouldn't advise using chemicals for your soup! Storm drains divert rainwater and melted snow to bodies of water, such as lakes and rivers, to prevent flooding. Don't put anything nasty in there, water is a precious resource!)

It starts by finding a good storm drain, preferably one near a park or patch of grass. Then collecting your ingredients, which can include anything from sand, to grass, to flowers, to even leaves. Really anything that isn't garbage. You don't need to gather a whole lot of ingredients, just enough that you have a few things in hand.

And then, finally, as you gather your ingredients and put them into the soup, one by one, you can laugh maniacally knowing that you've just put a bunch of pebbles down a Storm Drain. A great soup indeed.

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

what if I want to kiss the horrors . what if the atrocities are kissable

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

pouring pretty chemicals down the storm drain to make a chemical soup for my first class science restaurant (patent pending)

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

personally, labcoat that's 2 sizes too large and always slipping off-shoulder, caked with deep red-brown stains, and wild green ones, with a cheap chewed-up bic pen clipped into the breast pocket, is my favourite aesthetic

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

i wonder what it would be like, for the both of us, to have him on my table and under my knife. If classifying and sampling and exploring the whole of him would be as invigorating as I imagine. if it would give me the answers I so desperately yearn for. if it would make loving him easier, to know every part of him, to see him and feel him and be responsible for him at his most vulnerable.

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

ooo i would love to know more about this boss of yours!!! 👀

My boss?

Well, er— he's not really my 'boss' per se, we're lab partners. But I trust him worlds more than I trust myself with anything, and I think he prefers it over his real name.

I really admire his work, and I've looked up to him since I met him. It's very important to him that he treats everything and everyone in our lab with kindness, and this is reflected in how he deals with comforting the volunteers when things go wrong. I think that's one of the best things about him.

And back when I dropped out of college, (it's a long story,) he used to let me stay in his apartment with him. I remember his parents were really weird about a dude living with him, and they'd argue with eachother over the phone some nights. But he never took it out on me. He—

Er, sorry, I'm rambling. He's a great guy, I hardly think there's a person he couldn't get along with. :)

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

No, my darling.

We did not break you. Your body is just how it should be, you are perfect. What you consider to be "human' is a foolish concept, a concept you should pay no mind to. Not now.

You still bleed like them, worry not,

You scream like them.

Your bones can shatter in the same ways, are weak in the same places, like them.

You cry as they do. Your flesh is soft and fragile, as theirs is.

You feel pain, like them. People can hurt you in the same way.

Your heart, too, is made of glass, like theirs are. Your experiences can mold it, can stain it. And there's no guarantee it will ever take its original shape again.

Like them,

you are a conscious being, with thoughts and emotions, no matter how these present within yourself. Your mind is unique and beautiful, just like you.

Do not let anybody question your humanity. You are not broken.

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

Happy Pride Month from me and the boss!

- Remember to love yourselves this month, whether you're closeted, unlabelled, questioning, or out! No matter how you identify, and no matter who you are, you are worthy. And you deserve to be proud. <3

(also, remember not to drink anything in the lab that looks like it might be water. trust me, it is not. it's far from water. you will regret your decision.)

[lab-safety-violations-lad]

Nothing's more romantic than late nights at the lab with your boss, trying to fix the leaky pipes in his lab showers and—

oh. oh my god. what is that?

is that slime??

sir is that black sludge in your showers? why is it moving??

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS NORMAL??