Common experiences with abusive dad:
acts like you don’t exist until the second they want smth from you
pretends he’s your boss and gives you orders, treats you like factory worker
doesn’t know absolutely anything about you except what vulnerability to hit to trigger you into thinking you owe him obedience
demands you to be interested in his opinions and forces you to participate in activities he likes, never considers your interests
completely ignorant of you most of the time, then over-controlling, strict and ruthless when he wants something
disregards your personal space, enjoys poking and physically disturbing you, humiliates you in front of other people
is extremely strict on how you’re not allowed to embarrass him in front of other people, will treat you differently if others are present
clings to “traditional” values where children owe obedience in return for shelter, claims himself as the “provider” and expects endless gratitude
disregards your time and personal activities, expects you to be ready to receive orders from him at anytime
gets extremely angry and aggressive if called out, reaches for violence and terror if he’s not obeyed instantly
doesn’t hold back with yelling, shouting and heavy threats if his status is challenged
values his reputation more than entire family
values money and his personal pleasure more than family members
pretends to be the victim in absolutely any situation, if you as much as don’t idealize and adore him, you are hurting his poor feelings and you should know better that he actually cares deep inside about you even if it doesn’t show in any of his words or actions whatsoever
will patronize you, compete with you on how smart he is, gross you out, do childish pranks, act like a toddler and have zero emotional maturity
very blatantly prioritizes his social circle over you and will put much more energy and willpower into pleasing and impressing his “buddies” while you can go and raise yourself if you like
threatens to kick you out of “his” house as if he was renting you your place and not living together with his family members in a home meant for that
pretends your worth is nothing compared to his, works on lowering your confidence and will put you down especially when you are feeling a bit encouraged and happy with yourself
tries to control your opinions and makes you feel like you’re stupid for having independent thought that differs from his
shamelessly indulges in perverse, disgusting, dehumanizing and cruel behavior right in front of you
generates dumbest and most disgusting excuses for his behavior, however you are not allowed to put one step out of line or you’re deemed a waste of space and ungrateful brat
ready to explode with anger when confronted with even little truth about himself
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