DON'T DELETE THE KISSES ft yoonchae jeung
synopsis: yoonchae finally figures out she likes women because of her best friend | featuring: best friend!yoonchae , fem!reader , reader is suggested to be pansexual , wuhluhwuh , best friends to lovers trope , timed in present day & we're pretending manon isn't on a hiatus , quite emotional moment when chae figures out she likes girls , so soft , kissing ──── not requested , wc 1354
authors note & taglist: happy pride month babies!! this is very loosely based around heartstopper and also a few personal moments from my life :) i hope you enjoy!! please leave feedback as this motivates me to write more. liking && reblogging would be much appreciated! | @awkwardlyshawna @dahliadaenerys
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you had always known you didn’t only like boys, even when you were younger, you would always have crushes on the female actresses and not the male actors. but the moment when you knew for sure was when you had a fat crush on your high school best friend. your first kiss was a girl. but you didn’t think you liked them for their genders, you just liked them for them, as people.
but when you got put into a girl group, that was confirmed for a fact. you and yoonchae were the bestest of friends, but you couldn’t help but feel gravitated towards her in a different way. you confided in your older members about it, megan specifically, but the only answers you got were ‘i don’t think she likes girls’. so you never did anything about it.
you were at the coachella afterparty after performing, but neither you or yoonchae liked the party scene. hence why you were both sat in an empty room, talking for the whole party.
“hey, can i ask you a question?” yoonchae asks, quickly putting a snack in her mouth whilst looking at you.
“yeah, go ahead.” you nod with a smile.
“when did you… when did you know you didn’t just like boys…?” she hesitates, rubbing her now sweaty palms against her legs.
“oh? do you?…” you raised your eyebrows, trying to find the reasoning behind the question.
“no! no. atleast, i don’t think so? i’m just curious.” she rambled, her eyes widening as her cheeks flushed.
“okay. well, i had a best friend, and she was beautiful. but i always knew i found her pretty in more than just a friend way. i didn’t do anything about it, i just kept it to myself.” you explain, feeling her eyes on you the whole time.
“didn’t that like, eat you alive or something? keeping that to yourself?” she frowned, inching closer to hear you better over the loud music.
“yeah but i would rather that than lose my best friend.” you smiled sadly.
a part of you was always scared to come out, because society had made it so normalised to be ashamed to be who you are. you didn’t come out for years. especially not whilst you were in school, your peers were anything but open minded. so, when you met your members, you didn’t hesitate to tell them. they accepted you for who you are, they didn’t judge you once.
“oh..” she says, her shoulders slumping at your answer.
“are you okay?” you question, noticing her change in mood and posture.
“yeah. just… sad that you kept that to yourself.” she chuckled nervously, looking at her nails.
“i’m okay, chae. don’t worry.” you smiled and gently placed your hand on her thigh, in what you thought was a friendly manner.
her breathing hitched as she blinked frantically, feeling her heart against her chest. the heat rising to her cheeks as she looks at your hand. she couldn’t understand why she felt like this. you had always been just friends, so why was she suddenly nervous?
you were backstage, ready and rearing to go on stage, the crowd bigger and louder than usual which made yoonchae feel nervous before going out there.
everyone surrounding her, trying to calm her down, but nothing was working. it was a normal occurrence for her to be nervous, but usually the speech before would calm her down. not this time. she knew who she needed to calm her down.
“can someone get y/n for me? please?” she panted, wide eyes looking around for any sight of you.
“yeah, of course chae.” manon nodded, a small smile on her face. manon wasn’t blind to the way yoonchae looked at you, she never missed the way she looked for you in any room she walked into. almost as if your presence alone brought her comfort.
“ynnie, chae wants you. she’s really anxious.” manon puts a hand on your shoulder.
“what? where is she?” you immediately stand up, looking for her, your eyes landing on the girls standing around her. “chae. i’m here.”
“ynnie.” she exhaled, her hand finding yours to drag you down to sit next to her.
“what’s going on?” you asked, concern lacing your voice.
“i don’t know, i just got really nervous. i don’t know what’s going on.” she rambled, hands trembling.
“shhhh,” you soothed, hand squeezing hers, “it’s okay. i’m here now.”
“yeah, you’re here.” she breathed out, closing her eyes trying to calm herself.
after a few minutes of calming her down, her nerves finally came down and her heartbeat slowed. suddenly, she came very aware that her hand was interlocked with yours and the nerved came back but for a very different reason. you were holding her hand. you, were holding her hand.
you noticed her eyes locked intensely on your connected hands, and you got the hint to move.
“sorry.” you mumbled, scrambling to your feet, eyes locked on the floor.
“wait no. it’s okay.” she smiled.
you paused for a moment, looking back at her, “yeah?” you questioned.
“yeah.” she affirmed, her smile growing.
was that what you thought it was? was that what you hoped it was?
you, yoonchae and manon were all in your room, doing makeovers and talking. you were putting two french braids in yoonchae’s hair when manon spoke up.
“hey i’m just gonna go get some drinks i’ll be right back.” she announced, closing the door behind her.
“chae, can you stand so i can make sure the front of your hair is okay?” you ask, placing the hair brush on your vanity.
she nods a small response before standing and facing you, her face a few inches higher than yours.
“thanks.” you muttered before stepping forward, standing so close to each other that you could feel her breath on your cheek.
she swallowed in nerves, feeling her palms become sweaty against her jeans. just when you thought the awkwardness of being so close couldn’t get any worse, ‘don’t delete the kisses’ starts playing from your phone.
your heart raced at the timing. you could see yoonchae’s eyes flicker from your lips to your eyes every few seconds. like she didn’t know what was the right thing to do.
you quickly cleared your throat, finalising her hair, “done. it looks cute, chae.”
instead, you feel the chaste pressure of her lips on yours. but gone in a second.
“oh my gosh.” she gasped, covering her mouth, “i’m sorry. i really am.” she frantically apologised.
“wait,” you interrupted her, your hands finding her soft skin as you cupped her cheeks and pulled her in again.
you could tell it was her first kiss with a girl. maybe even ever? with the way her eyes remained open, her hands stayed at her side. but she eagerly leaned in more to find your lips. an unfamiliar feeling she already fell in love with and wanted more.
“hey, i got you lemonade-” manon’s voice cut your kiss short as you quickly stepped away from each other. but manon knew what she saw. and god, had she been waiting for this moment.
“thanks.” your voice quivered, you took the drink from her hand and sat on your bed. you were so glad the music was playing, an even awkwarder silence would’ve been deafening, and you’d want the ground to swallow you whole.
“hey, your secrets safe with me.” she giggled.
your eyes immediately found yoonchae’s at her words, a smile appearing on your fave at her flushed cheeks, and the shy glimmer in her eyes.
“thank you.” yoonchae whispered, walking to sit next to you.
the bed dipped beside you as she sat closer than her usual distance, and you feel her head on your shoulder. you smiled and rested your head on hers.
“guys, you’re cute and all, but i do not wanna third wheel!”
do not copy or translate my work. do not alter my work in any way. do not feed my work to ai.
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