“Wh-” Osamu was at first rather concerned at what almost seemed to be a budding heart attack on the other man’s end, and is then hit by a bizarre whiplash with the following statement. He thinks about it. And then he gets pissed off. “Excuse me?”
Okabe has a familiar look on his face, that of a self-sacrificing idiot who has it in their head that they have a duty to fulfill.
He’s never humored that nonsense before he isn’t going to do so now.
“What do you think this is, the third act of a Disney movie where you make a ‘heroic decision’ to do everything on your own? This isn’t one of your chuuni fantasies, Okabe.” He hopes the dry cynicism will be as effective here as it is against certain younger reckless idiots.
“If you could do it alone, you would’ve done it by now. Refusing collaboration isn’t going to do anything but damn us further.” Osamu talks in a low hiss and grabs him by the shoulders, twisting him around so that they’re facing each other and his words can’t be ignored.
“I need you to understand that, mister lone wolf. Let’s contemplate your line of thought for a second, ok? Say I do leave, and try to pretend I never came here or saw what I saw, and you go on trying to save the day by yourself. What if the time machine is stolen by SERN before you can use it? What then? SERN clearly has enough info to find us in the first place, and they also very clearly don’t want anyone knowing about time travel. They’d track down every last lab member, myself included, and either kill us or do lord knows what unspeakable things to us. We are outnumbered and overpowered in this battle, Okabe, we will all be fucked.”
He briefly glances over at the two in the corner to make sure they haven’t noticed anything. Good. Still absorbed in their work. “…And it’s true that we might still be fucked if we work together, but it certainly isn’t going to hurt our chances to have as many hands on deck as possible, ok?”
“Trust me, I am as unhappy to be stuck working with you as you doubtlessly are to be working with me, but we do not have the luxury to be picky about this. So cut the shit and lets get to work.”
⟲.•÷•..× He’s always been THAT type. The type to lash out when angry. The type to always find someone to blame, usually himself. But this time, anger flares up in him. This idiot has no idea what he’s been through. What he’s seen. Now he’s waltzing in like he’s going to make all the difference? Get real. Okabe has half a mind to strip him out his membership right there. To send a D-Mail to himself saying he’s a SERN spy and never let him in the lab to start with. Osamu isn’t going to help. He’s just going to forget everything anyway. He thinks he wants to be a lone wolf? He’s right. He doesn’t have the luxury to be picky. He has no choice but to be alone.
His response is to push the other away. He doesn’t need this guy yelling in his face like he’s a kid. He may be a genius or whatever, but he has no idea what he’s talking about. SERN going after the other lab mems is something he was concerned about, initially. But he doubts they even know how many there are. Moeka is giving them intel. She only knows about 5 of them, herself included. Unless someone is here when the raid starts, they’ll probably be fine. It’s stupid to think they’d hunt down everyone. A connection could be drawn to the lab that way. The SERN would have left a trail. Capturing or killing a few people in a building after a fake terror threat, that is NOTHING compared to hunting down 9 people and killing them. All with a connection to certain people. Get real. He’s right. This isn’t some chuuni fantasy. They wouldn’t be able to find the other lab mems unless someone confessed who they all were. Daru and Kurisu wouldn’t do that, and neither would he.
He stands up, not wanting to allow the other to get close to him again. The anger is so clear in his body language that he hardly even needs to speak. He’s tense, anger, hurt, and so tired. He doesn’t need this brat coming in here acting like a badass. He has to hold himself back from punching him.
“You got me killed.” Venom seeps into his tone. “So excuse me if I don’t really feel like listening to how superior our chances are with you here.” He pauses. He doesn’t even want to speak. He’ll time leap as soon as he can and erase this entire scene. He doesn’t need more blood on his hands, and he doesn’t need this moron making things worse.
“They WON’T go after the other lab mems. They don’t even know who you all are. I know who the insider is. I know who they know of. And you... You can’t do ANYTHING. You won’t even remember any of this next time. And don’t pretend there won’t BE a next time. You aren’t a hero. You can’t come here and save us, fix everything. If I can’t do it, you sure as hell can’t.” His voice is quieter than intended. Muffled and restrained to keep himself from shouting. He’s shaking.
“I can’t even REMEMBER how many times I’ve done this. Having YOU of all people on this with me, it won’t matter. YOU don’t matter. Do you understand? NONE of us do. Just like... Mayuri. If you’re going to die, you will. It doesn’t matter how much or little you know. I don’t want your help. I don’t even want you here.”
He feels a wave of despair wash over him. That’s right. Not even he, himself, believes he can save Mayuri. He’s just going through it in a vain hope that he can. He’s tired. Osamu leaping is pointless. At least in that world, he was dead too. Then he wouldn’t have to think ever again. Even if Mayuri still died, at least he wouldn’t have to feel anything about it. At least he could sleep. It only makes him hate himself more to think that way.
“If you EVER touch the machine again, in ANY worldline, I won’t let you back in here. I don’t care if you’re friends with Kurisu.” ×.•÷•..⟳
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