Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
will byers stan first human second
if i look back, i am lost
d e v o n
🪼
blake kathryn
RMH
No title available
h
pixel skylines
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
styofa doing anything
todays bird
Monterey Bay Aquarium
$LAYYYTER
★
Keni
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@labzerojurisdictor-blog
Death to Derr Blog
Sorry, guys. I left this thing alone for, like, two months. It just isn't happening anymore.
I have a good feeling nobody's gonna miss this blog, but why the crap not. Although he is a minor character, there's nearly nothing to run on anyways.
It was nice while it lasted.
Experiment: Xanatos Gambit (Part 1)
I decided that today was not going well. Part of that had to do with the fact that I recently got a message that one of my employees had gone rogue and a project of mine was pursuing her, and the other part had to do with the fact that I had been attacked by Medici hitmen, run off of the road, and crashed my new car. If I had been able to feel emotions, I think I would have felt immeasurable amounts of anger over this series of events. As it was, I simply brushed myself off and removed any useful items from the four dead mooks. I moved a suitcase, which was packed with frozen trinitrate tablets, to the car formerly occupied by the Medici. It had a dent in the front, but that was infinitely preferrable to the sorry shape my newly repainted taxi was in. I readjusted the rearview mirror and started the engine. The police system in this region is terrible. I should really petition to Princess Parasoul about that. I looked into the passenger seat, where I had left my stolen machine gun. It had jammed on me once during the firefight, so I was not looking forward to using it again. I gripped the steering wheel as I drove toward the old cathedral. Perhaps I would not be too late.
OOC: I think this explains itself. Read bottom-to-top, TF2 style.
Edit: I missed a goon. Or did I?
Experiment: Life Gem (Part 3b: House Call)
"Good evening, sir." I carefully entered the room, my gun readied. "I don't suppose you would happen to have any files on a 'Ms. Fortune'?"
Silence, aside from some heavy breathing and scraping. He was hiding under his desk, probably with a weapon. I crept beside the frame and closed the door, gun sweeping the room without firing.
"Come now, sir. We both know where you are, and we also both know I outgun you. So why don't you make this easy andTELL ME WHERE THE FILESARE." I laid on some heavy psychic suggestion at that point, but he only flinched. His fear must have been strong. I walked over to the desk and pushed it to the side. The boss got one good shot in before being ripped to shreds by the machine gun. I felt a strong buzzing in the top right-hand corner of my cranium guard. He was a good shot. If that glass were a half-inch thinner, I might have died. As it were, he was dead, and I could move with impunity. The police were too busy with my last escapade, and any more Medici would take at least ten minutes to arrive.
Rifling through the files, I quickly found several pages involving my target.
Ms. Fortune:
Age
: 20
Birthday
: November 24
Bloodtype
: B
Height
: 5'8”
Weight
: 127 lbs.
Measurements
: 32B-23-34
{Note: Why, how, and by whom did these measurements get made?
My respect for the Medici dropped about 35%.}
Likes
: Making friends, Sunlit naps, Volleyball, Bowling, Golf, Parkour, Subjecting others to terrible puns, Yu-wan's resturant, Dim Sum, The Fishbone Gang{Note: You can't exactly like someone who's DEAD, can you?}, Robbing from rich, Giving to poor,{Note: Oh, please. Playing Robin Hood, are we, Madame?} Potato chips
Dislikes
: The Medici Mafia {Note: At last, something we can agree on.}, Black Dahlia{Note: Must gain information on-possible enemy}, Sushi, Cops, Bullies, Marsupials {Note: At what point are marsupials ever found in the Canopy Kingdom?}, Loud noises, Lemonade {Note: Lemonade is a fine beverage, especially when mixed with vodka.Why she would dislike it is beyond my knowledge.}
I took the file, emptied the shed of money, straightened my hat, and walked back towards Little Innsmouth. Upon reaching a road, I hailed a cab. I told him I would pay him $350 to go to Anti-Skullgirl Lab Zero, no questions asked. It's surprising what people will do for money.
I killed him anyway. After all, Lab Zero needed a car, and we had plenty of dark spray paint stored up just for such an occasion. It also eliminated a witness.
I took the free time to rest and consider my next move.
Experiment: Life Gem (Part 3a: House Call)
The cowering Medici brought me to a rotten old shack on the outskirts of New Innsmouth. He looked at me guiltily and bit his lip. I encouraged him with the pistol he had donated to the Labs. We came up to the door, and he knocked with his good hand.
"What is it? Do you have the money yet?" A goon croaked from inside. He stood up and walked toward the door. Looking through the peer-slip in the door, he saw his comrade and me.
"This guy wants to talk to the boss." The first Medici pointed to me.
Rolling his eyes, the man inside made two crucial mistakes.
Mistake number one: He unlocked and opened the door without double-checking who I was.
Mistake number two: He peeked his head outside, his neck in the doorway, but kept his weapon in his far hand.
Taking advantage of my good fortune, I slammed the door on his neck and shot the man who led me here in the head. The man inside tried to pull up a machine gun, but I put a round in his head and picked up the heavier weapon when he collapsed without moving. Kicking the door open, I swept the room with a hail of bullets before realizing he had left the safety off. Sloppy.
I entered the dimly-lit room, which had beaten-up furniture, a plastic card table, and a hardly-functioning TV. Two other men lay dead, tattered by the powerful weapon I carried. This was a small-time group, with possibly seven total members in this branch. Some wheezing and scraping indicated a survivor, who desperately scrambled for his fallen pistol. Within five seconds, he was nailed to the floor with lead.
The shack had a second room, where the 'boss' supposedly hid. There was a cheap wooden work desk and a file cabinet inside, from what I could see. I reloaded. Perhaps this man could shed some light on my path.
Hello, Brain Drain. Ever heard of "PROJECT DEMONOPHOBIA"?
No.
If it has anything to do with the Life Gem or SkullGirl, I'm all ears. If not, kindly take your sorry {error756: word not found} out of my laboratory.
After, of course, you tell me which Lab you're from so I can destroy it delegate responsibility accordingly.
Experiment: Life Gem (Part 2c: Field Work)
I grabbed the gun, now covered in blood from my other targets. It was awkward to put my finger in the trigger, but I managed to point the pistol toward the Medici. He clutched his swelling wrist and swallowed hard, looking around for an escape route. I motioned to the water. "One of your friends is down there. Unless you want to join him, I would suggest explaining to me, in detail, everything you know about the location of the Life Gem."
"I don't know! Please, have mercy on me! I'm just a lower officer! I can take you to someone who does know! Please, just let me go!" He clutched his wrist, gasping for breath and trying to swallow the pain.
"Another question... Where is Ms. Fortune?"
"Ms. Fortune? She's a regular to these parts, that restaurant, specifically. It's just that when any police show up she skedaddles if they don't hurt the restaurant."
I became aware of someone entering the water. It was the prostitute. She was trying to slip away. I fired twice into the river, and a murky cloud filled the normally clear liquid. The gang member swallowed hard this time, his eyes darting around. There was no chance the police didn't hear that.
I pointed the pistol back at him. "You are taking me to your boss. Now."
Experiment: Life Gem (Part 2b: Field Work)
Realizing my dire situation, I concentrated and made contact with my assailant's mind. -LET GO.- He stopped swimming for a second and loosened his grip on me. I slipped out of his grasp, turned around, and crossed gazes with him. -YOU SUDDENLY FEEL AS IF YOU CAN"T BREATHE.- He clutched at his gills and jerked around wildly. I took the opportunity to swim to the surface. However, I went under the dock this time, so as not to attract any attention. The fools had continued to harrass the girl, and so I must continue my attack. Drifting about fifteen yards away from the conflict, I climbed up into the deck in peace. It turns out that a soaking man with every part of his body outfitted with prothstetics was quiet enough to get within three feet of the buffoons. I took the opportunity to snap the first Dagonian's neck. He fell down on the deck, shaking like a fish out of water. The analogy was darkly appropriate.The second Dagonian attacked me with a large knife. I grabbed his wrist and slit his bicep tendon with the miniature scalpels that were attached to where my fingernails used to be. He screamed and dropped his knife. I couldn't have noise, so I cut his throat, too. The Medici pulled out a gun. I grabbed it before he could shoot and broke his wrist. Two Dagonians dead, one in dire likelihood of dying, one human (probably the boss and source of information) incapacitated, and one hopelessly terrified Dagonian prostitute. Perfect. Now we are achieving headway.
Experiment: Life Gem (Part 2a: Field Work)
Having waterproof prosthetic limbs was really useful, I decided, as I crawled out of the river. Clearly I misjudged my running start range. I must get these modified for more distance. Perhaps pistons instead of coils? Or pistons and coils together?
Whatever the case, all of the offending party and the prostitute looked up as I crawled out of the water. Or I would have, had the closest Dagonian to the dock's edge not stepped on my hand.
"Hey, what've we got here? Some robotic chump thinks he can roll with the big boys!" He kicked my head, pushing me into the water. All of a sudden, I felt hands around my throat and white bubbles flashed everywhere. He was trying to drown me!
Experiment: Life Gem (Part 1: Research)
Throughout my time as a scientific director, I have had numerous stories about fabulous materials told to me. Some of these materials are clearly old legends, such as kryptonite and vibranium. However, it came to my notice that a specific gemstone was recently stolen by the single survivor of a gang of thieves. This gemstone was said to grant mysterious healing powers to whomever possessed it. It had been in control of the Medici family until it was stolen by a feral thief known only as Ms. Fortune. She somehow managed to ingest and digest the gem before being hacked to pieces. Somehow, she managed to survive, even while her head wasn't in contact with her neck. Her reputed location is in Little Innsmouth, home of many Dagonians. There seems to be inter-racial tension involving the Medici Mafia. (On a side note, the Mafia should be wiped from the face of the Canopy Kingdom. Their constant disruption of public affairs is irritating, counterproductive, and draws national resources away from the war on Skullgirls.) I personally will find information on the material and see if the thief is in Little Innsmouth. When I have enough proof to warrant arrest, I will pursue with Painwheel and Nurse Valentine in tow. She will be tried, convicted, the Life Gem will be removed and studied, and she will be thrown in prison.
Now, I hear Little Innmouth has some fine dining locale...
WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
What a foolish question. There is no need for memories outside of scientific knowledge, remembering experiments, and knowing who your allies and enemies are.