Laced in Coco

-laced/lāst/ (Adjective) - to contaminated with a substance (usually harmful or toxic) present in small amounts.

[lacedincoco]

I love being gay

[soulproviderenthusiast-deactiva]

bisexual moodboard feat ziam!

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I don’t want to sit around and hope good things will happen. I want to make them happen. I want to be in control of my own destiny.”

— Drew Barrymore

[lacedincoco]

Ayaw nag asa putangina

[lacedincoco]

There's nothing i can do anymore but wait for her to get her shit together. Or not wait at all 😅

Ngano man gyud nanawag kay na hadlok, dili na lagi kamo, gahi ulo oi ahaha

[lacedincoco]

My heart bleeds for all the teeth I've swallowed, and all the tears I've chocked

[lacedincoco]

Remember when

Remember when you wrote prose and drew and everything was a story to you?

[lacedincoco]

An attempt to cheer myself up

you are amazing and gorgeous and whoop this feels empty

[lacedincoco]

12am thoughts, Sept 12, 2021

Its been a few days since we broke up, i thought i was okay. but every few seconds i feel myself tearing up again.

Two days after I lost her, I lost my grand father, it was a great excuse for me to talk to her.

Yesterday i called her for a poor excuse that i was hyper ventilating, i was, doesn't mean i had to call her. we talked, it sounded like old times, she cheered me up and even called me bab

my heart leaped. ayaw ko nang umasa tangina

i kept on calling her parechong nevertheless.

she never left my mind and i don't know where I'm at

I'm caught between giving her all my love until i have nothing else to give, or to choose me and ignore the shit out of her

i don't know. I've reached the, i can no longer cry, my heart is just physically hurting stage and i don't know if that is moving backwards or forwards

[iamquietlydrowning]

[lacedincoco]

Trouble

[lacedincoco]

Nightmare

It was a game, we agreed;

                  Everybody wins

                  No one loses

It was a play

                    Act til it'll feel real

                    Pretend til you’re numb

It was a dream

                    You were everything i wished for

                    And maybe, just maybe, more

But it was a game

                    You badly wanted to win

                    Even when I gave you everything

And it was still a play

                    Even when i was hurting

                    To make you happy, i kept it going

Until it got twisted,

                    What once was a heaven's bliss

                   Now turned to a nightmare's kiss

-c.c.

[lacedincoco]

The Killer Clown

The Killer Clown

              John Wayne Gacy an American Serial killer and rapist (1972-1978) a.k.a. Pogo the Clown / The Killer Clown is one of the more misunderstood serial killer of all time. Despite common beliefs, John Wayne Gacy was a very hard working and charitable man. In 1966, Gacy managed three KFC restaurants which was purchased by his father-in-law. He would receive $15,000 per year (the equivalent to $115,274, as of 2018), plus a share of the profits earned by the restaurants. He was also known as the killer clown, not because he killed atleast 33 teenage boys and young men dressed up as a clown, but because of his work in charitable services at fundraising events, parades and children parties where he would dress up as "Pogo the Clown" or "Patches the clown"; characters he, himself, made up. The life of Gacy was full of struggles and over coming these hardships. He reached a point of success and satisfaction, having found a perfect job, a wife and 2 beautiful children, and yet he was still able to crave for more. One might question, what truly makes a human being complete? Love? Money? Sex? Or a never ending search for more?

[lacedincoco]

Begin Again

It was a September night, as the breeze was biting our skin. At 11 pm, I realized I am in love with you.

We were standing in your apartment’s rooftop, lit up by the fairy lights surrounding us; rose petals covered the floor, the sound of Taylor Swift singing Begin Again in the background, and with the moon as our guide. We waited as the hours tick by, wishing it would last longer.

You had that secret smile in your face and a bouquet cradled in your arms.  Wearing a black suit, tie and dress pants, and with a mint green button up shirt underneath. It is my favourite colour and I said it looks good on you, so you chose it. You never failed to point out that my option was biased, but you wore it anyways, and that makes you quite endearing.

We were both standing in the rooftop, with a table in the middle, dinner and a candle. The proposal speech copy in your hand as you were practicing but the playlist you mixed just for tonight, sometimes gets you distracted so you’d sing along anyways. It was adorable. It was blissfully romantic and beautiful.

Then you looked at me, and our eyes met. Our hearts were beating loudly and our hands were shaky, but for very different reasons. Then you thanked me, and my eyes got teary. I turned to leave, my duty has been fulfilled. Everything is perfect, just as you wished it to be.

I came over to hug you, as you whispered in my ear how you couldn’t have done it without me. I wish you could. I said my good byes and disappeared in sight. When the clock strikes 12, the real Cinderella would appear, and remind me with the truth. I will always be the match maker, the best friend and the shoulder. You will never be my prince charming nor my lover.

[lacedincoco]

Trust

Trust

From the warmth of your palm,

To the cold biting breeze,

From the confession of your love,

To the darkness of this locked cage,

From the freedom you showered me,

To be left chained in place,

From the comfort of your lips,

To my mouth covered in tape.

Lovers turned to traitors,

As my being filled with terror,

Knowing I can trust nobody.

My dear, please don't trust anybody.

-c.c.

[walkingdisaster02-blog]

TW Don’t kill yourself today

Don’t kill yourself today

Because your Netflix trial still has a week left

Don’t kill yourself today

Because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge

Don’t kill yourself today

Because I know for a fact that Starbucks is releasing a new Frappuccino sometime next month

Yes, your mother will miss you

Yes your bully will make a sappy Facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you were

And yes

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

You know that

You’ve known that

Everyone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meant

So don’t kill yourself

Until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time

Don’t kill yourself

Until Doctor Who is finally cancelled

Don’t kill yourself

Until you tell someone your best pasta recipe 

Don’t kill yourself 

Because I will keep coming up with reasons for you not to

And I need you

To hear all of them

Don’t kill yourself

I love you

You’re important

It’s a bad day

Not a bad life

There is more to this

The world will keep spinning on its axis without you

But

Think of all the sunrises you’d miss

I know this sounds pointless

But when you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own

Revising your goodbyes

There will be too much darkness 

To see anything else

But this is not about seeing anything else

This is about turning off the lights

This is about finding the bed instead of the noose

This is about giving yourself one more day

Even if it takes ten thousand of those

One more morning’s

Until

“I can’t wait for tomorrow”

This is about staying alive

Because there’s gonna be a new Marvel movie

No one should miss that

This is about staying alive

Because the future is coming 

And it’s ready for you

I don’ t need you to see it

I just need you to believe you can make it 

Until then

- Hannah Dains

[lacedincoco]

More than anyone else, YOU deserve to understand this.

[lacedincoco]

Corpse Bride

I am the corpse bride

Married to reality

Dead and rotten inside

Haunted by the skeletons in my closet

Trapped in thoughts they call casket

Barricading, building my walls, standards

Brick by brick for every time, you make me fall

You with that blue sea in your eyes, drowning

With that bright sun in your smile, blinding

And with that gentle touch of your fingertips,

That I’m breaking, and fumbling and crashing

And afraid of dying

But I’m not supposed to be scared of anything

But like a ghost you just passed through it

And stomped your way in

Brushing all the innocent cobwebs

And in my insecurities you got cozy

Despite the demons that follow me

You carved your name in stone heart

Made yourself permanent

No longer an epiphany I can disregard

And my darkness, monsters, nightmares are banished

You accepted me whole

But you are a ghost

And suddenly, I, no longer possessed

Your love no longer my warmth

You left, vanished in thin air

And I’m left empty, rainy skies

Filled with remains of the butterflies in my stomach

And of every song that you pieced of us

Your memories engraved in my tomb

Reminding me why I am a corpse bride

Allergic to pretty boys with bright smiles

-c.c.

[lacedincoco]

Worth

Got ​nothing ​to ​prove, ​I ​say

Your ​judgment's ​all ​I ​care, ​anyway

Words ​cut ​deeper ​than ​the ​knife

Another ​ripped ​pride

I ​tried ​to ​please ​thee

But ​life ​ain't ​as ​easy ​as ​I ​thought ​it ​would ​be

Can't ​I ​be ​worth ​it,

In ​the ​eyes ​i ​truly ​wanted?