In a burning highway, Right in the midnight hour!

*queue is running* icon by: @f4ilure-g1rl-fuyu [any pronoun - 24 - placeholder name: Rad] [interests: mlp, toy collecting/restoration, jfashion, eurobeat, craft/cosplay/art] [current relevant kins: Saki Tenma, Chuuya, Meryl Stryfe, Rarity(g4)]

[nor1akii]

Classic Miku Chibis!

[fraiisiemimi]

𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 🎁🎀

[neurotiddies]

RB IF YOU AGREE

[stiksandthrones]

[mousegirlheart]

it's always ethical to kidnap an outdoor cat and make them an indoor cat. shithead owner will just assume a car or coyote got them. outdoor cats are bad for the environment, local wildlife and themselves. the only one that benefits from an outdoor cat is the lazy piece of shit owner that doesn't want to actually look after their cat. give that outdoor cat a better life, a longer life.

[bebsi-cola]

actually pigs shouldn't be at pride even outside of uniform. fuck those guys

[bebsi-cola]

if you decide to become a police officer then that outweighs any other marginalised identity you can rustle up like. not sorry, who asked you to willingly become a pig

[pekkhum]

I have heard of black people warning their kids that the race of a police officer is cop and you should not expect solidarity from them. The same applies to other types of minorities.

The sexuality of a police officer is cop.

The gender of a police officer is cop.

When you become the enforcer and protector of capital, you are making the deal to be slightly favored by the system over others like you, in exchange for being its servant. Your solidarity is with the system that you serve, even if it hates you.

If you want solidarity with those the system hates, you cannot be the system's servant and defender.

[dyketoevsky]

I am once again mourning the loss of fashion games with no gacha 😞

[dyketoevsky]

I will forever be annoyed that the devs of games are like "No one can use the assets from these games" and then they go bankrupt and we as a society loose all the images, outfits, ect from the game that is genuienly heartbreaking to me.

[laceyembrace]

a few years ago it was so easy id feel like shit and id be like well this stuff probably has bleach so ill just chug it. and id do it with no hesitation. but that led to failures. which really sucked. now im just kind of scared of it all. but i know thats the onlh way to stop myself from being this

[laceyembrace]

i feel like jm really strugglibg to commit to suicide nowadays though. i just fear that if i order the materials which would be easy and painless and quick i fear i wouldnt commit and get caught and have to go to the psych ward again. ordering it online gives me time to think and doubt. im just so scared of chickening out and getting in trouble for it. i wonder if maybe i could get someone to kill me? like maybe find someone who wants to kill someone

[laceyembrace]

i dont wanr to be in a relationship ever again. i dont want to do this or act like this. i hate myself for who i am. its so unfair. my whole existence is wrong and i cant seem to find peace. ive been in therapy since i was ten years old. i started trying medications when i was eleven. ive done dbt therapy twice. ive tried 3 meds for anxiety, around 6 antidepressants, two mood stabilizers. i cant even remember rvery single one. ive done tms. ive done emdr. ive spent time in the psych ward and i did EVERY single thing they told me to. ive been in therapy so long that multiple of my therapists have simply moved on to other jobs or places, forcing me to switch. ive tried diets. ive tried working out. going outside more. vitamins. yes, i even started yoga for a while. ive tried to cut screen time, but i always fall back into it. ive tried adjusting my sleep schedule. i cant imagine how much worse id be if i hadnt done all this. yet, maybe im not any better at all. ive been compliant. ive been willing. ive put in the effort ive done everything every doctor and psychiatrist and therapist has told me to do. i dont understand why im still so horrible. i dont know what a 10 year old ever could have done to deserve this. i never had a chance. i wish i would have died when the doctors said i would because none of this was worth it. now i hurt myself And others. why. why couldnt i have just died when i was meant to. i dont belong here. i dont want to be here.

[laceyembrace]

why cant i just die??? why do i have ti keep being a burden on society and everyone around me. why do i habe to cause trouble to everyone. why cant i just be allowed to kill myself. why am i not allowed to purchase a gun. why will i get the cops called on me for trying to kill myself why do i have to go to the hospital for failing WHY DOES THIS WHOLE SYSTEM DEMAND I LIVE WHEN NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS PEOPLE WITH BPD TO BE HERE. NOBODY WANTS THIS. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

[laceyembrace]

it makes me feel like i dont deserve to participate in society. i cant live without everyone having to adjust for me to be around me. why then, am i forced to keep being alive? i dont WANT this any more than them, or anyone else. i probably wish i could stop and be something else more than anyone

[laceyembrace]

i ask him, dont laugh at me when im being serious, when i am confiding in you my fears dont immediately tell me what i should have done and where i fucked up and just be empathetic and supportive until i say im ready to move onto solutions and problem solving, because those cause me pain. i asked him not to do these things and told him the consequences for both of us. i offered alternative ways to support me. i explained the reasons. i have to work around these triggers because i CANT CONTROL what my body feels, but hes not willing and its ALWAYS my fault

[laceyembrace]

every time i try to point out where he has triggered me and why he shouldnt do things like laugh at me while im trying to seriously talk about problems he blames me and says oh i wasnt ACTUALLY laughing it wasnt FUNNY it was just AMUSING or ridiculous. we get nowhere. i keep telling him if he doesnt respect that certain things trigger me, and being in an episode causes us to fight, then we're going to be fighting a lot. but its ALWAYS my fault for getting mad at something that doesnt warrant it, and IM the ONLY one who needs to fix it

[laceyembrace]

i actually did eat this morning but i kind of feel like im going to throw up and i dont like that feeling and i wish i didnt have anything in my stomach

[laceyembrace]

back to square one i think im going to quit my job because i cant eat or really be moving around too much when i am at the highest level of pain. im just going to be laying around for a few months probably. i wish i could skip over this part. i feel like i completely wasted an entire year and a half, it was all so pointless

[laceyembrace]

and him laughing at me was really triggering and painful so i immediately started swearing at him and he hung up. ok

[laceyembrace]

i havent even been awake for two hours and hes blaming me for my own condition and laughed at me when i said he should be doing work on his too