we'll never be royals

it don't run in our blood Johnny Lackland, rightful Prince of Nottingham. PJ if you're nasty. 21. Economics major, theater minor.

[khalid-basara]

I love Christmas and everything, don’t get me wrong. I just really miss being able to swim and go exploring. I know I can go exploring during the winter through the snow but I can’t do as much running. Anyone else with me?

[lacklands]

I personally don’t enjoy sweating outside, all the oil on my face makes me break out. But I also hate how drying the winter can be. Really, it’s all terrible.

[lacklands]

lyra-k·:

I’ve never tried spiced wine, it seems like a crazy notion. Honestly? If going to holiday parties means having to wear proper clothes that aren’t cozy and warm, what’s the actual point in going?

Crazy that you haven’t had it or crazy that something this good could be right at your fingertips and you just never tried it? Weren’t Ugly Sweater Parties invented so people could be comfy and warm and slightly frumpy?

[lacklands]

👀 + Do you have any tea that you want to spill?

Do I look like one of the little Jordan wannabes over at @asuxsor​?

[lacklands]

text 😳 jandy

Andy: That's such an ominous thing to say.

Andy: DEFINITELY too cool for the rest of everybody else lol but thanks. Cheers! 🍷

Andy: LMAO you're a stubborn boy :-P hope she finds it endearing. Dude, Hannah's the opposite of an option lol literally any girl in Auradon would be more willing, her TAKEN twin included. But don't go there either, don't wanna be a homewrecker. Haha, DJ and Elle weren't even a relationship dude, they were an arranged betrothal so it's kind of really different than your thing but okay. Zoe? Luna? Portia?

Johnny: Death is a part of life, don't know why it's ominous.

Johnny: Cheers! 🍷We toasting to anything?

Johnny: I'd call it more blindly competitive but I'm sure she does, even if she'd never admit it. Why does everyone keep saying that? She might not be as upfront about wanting to hook up as Haverly was at one point, but I'm sure she has some secret inner romantic notions or something. I know but I'm not clear if they're arranged marriage thing included hook ups or whatever. And I don't want it to be murky when I win this thing. Zoe would get attached and no thank you to the clinging. Luna would be...fine but eh. And Portia could work, but once again theater connections and I don't want to shit where I eat.

[lacklands]

text 👗 lenny

Lev: I can neither confirm nor deny those allegations 🧙‍♂️ I love making NPCs but I had fun making my own back in the good old days too so I'd be able to handle it no matter what. LOLOL okay well then, we could make it a non-competitive tacky holiday thing in general.

Lev: I don't think anyone would be upset at playing in a Hogwarts setting lol! We're all nerdy enough for it. So if you're good for it, I endorse it! Especially if you have the time, its something we could start in the new year. And I've heard one girl takes up even more time so lol if you want to wait until then that's fine too. What makes you sure it'll be only a month? And who's the lucky lady? I don't think Eddie is joining though. He's just someone that Kally really wishes would join.

Lev: WAIT DO YOU THINK SHE LIKES HIM?!

Johnny: I feel like it would be nice for you to be a player but maybe it'd be better if KALLY was the DM if she wants a change of pace. And then you'd still get to try your hand at character creation and watching the thing you love almost die thanks to bad dice rolls. 🎲🎲🎲

Johnny: I don't think it'll take that long. I already have the monster cards for the encounters and I can have freshman in Drama Club making me maps as props practice or something. Oh no, I've found a girl who barely has any interest in spending time with me. If it works out, she'll realize we've started dating just in time for her to break up with me. Quincy bet me I can't last a month with a single girl, don't want anyone clinging in excess of that. And it's Hannah. Ugh, well I don't share in that feeling.

Johnny: NO, DO YOU?

[lacklands]

text 🥂 summerland

Summer: Because kids haven't had time for the world to make them bitter and jaded yet - it's exciting to help them develop and grow, and to listen to them talk and hear all the creative ways their minds work before people tell them that they can't keep thinking like that and they have to be practical. I don't know, they're frustrating sometimes but they're also really rewarding and interesting to be around.

Summer: Wow, that bad of a night? What else happened that you aren't telling me? Who do I need to beat up and tell that I was Winter when I did it so as not to incriminate myself? I think in other parts of the world, but not in Auradon, no. Still, news from the outside trickles in sometimes!

Summer: There are three sororities, but I can't for the life of me figure out which one of the other two you think is filled with "wannabe bad girls." Sororities are great, though! They foster sisterhood, service, and help with making connections thanks to their amazing alumni network. Not to mention the fun parts, too. And they give you a chance to practice your leadership skills - which I'm doing this year, I'm the president of Sydney and Quincy's sorority 😂

Johnny: Well, no-one ever told me to be practical. And most skills learned on the Isle don't have much application here, except maybe resilience. But becoming bitter is always a choice. And a little cynicism is fun if done right. 😈

Johnny: I took a SHORT NAP on the couch and woke up to a bunch of dicks doodled on my face in Sharpie. Did you have a lot of fun with the Parent Trap shenanigans when you were younger? You know it's why I originally got into acting. I wanted to be Lindsay Lohan. Which is terrifying now.

Johnny: The one with all the VKs. Oh Godmother, I've heard enough of this from Quincy. I don't need a round two of this lecture. Is hating theater kids a prerequisite for entry or just an indication individual choice thing? Because they MIGHT not be cool with you playing Never Have I Ever if you yell about the singing every five seconds.

[lacklands]

TEXT ❄ JOHNKEY

Turkey: Were you one of the ones who wanted me to write up a resume for them over winter break or nah? I knew I should've written down my customer's names but eh, effort.

Johnny: Were you thinking about applying to Drama Club? Because typically we just require a monologue and a song. Not formal references from your...customers.

[hannaharendelle]

Hemi, Noa, Johnny

Fuck: Not interested, sorry!

Marry: @n-atua and @hemimanawa both? They can take care of each other’s needs or whatever, and I can just enjoy having them around when I’m not busy in my garden.

Kill: @lacklands. I don’t remember if I’ve ever even talked to him, so he’s the easiest to dispose of. Having three husbands would be a little much. 

send me 3 names and i’ll tell you who i’d marry, fuck and kill

[lacklands]

Well, what better time to start then now? I’m not saying we have to get married or anything but hey, spend a little time with me before you decide to off me.

[quincydavis]

⛸️ SKATING || DAVISLAND ⛸️

Quincy finished lacing up her skates and straightened herself up, looking around the ice rink with a sigh to see if her acquaintance had shown up yet. She and Johnny had talked enough at this point that she’d almost be tempted to move him from acquaintance to friend but he had the fact that he was a theater dork who lived to disagree with her stacked against him. Still, she found herself excited to teach him how to skate. It was always nice to get out and do some activity or other, especially one where she got to take the reins.

His unmistakable figure approach and Quincy put her hands on her hips with a smile. “Finally,” she said, as if she hadn’t just gotten there herself. “You still ready to do this? You haven’t chickened out or anything, have you, Lackland?”

@lacklands​

[lacklands]

Johnny had made the mistake of Googling how to ice skate before his practice date with Quincy and had fallen down a rabbit hole about how disgusting the rented skates were. And so he’d make a quick stop to the local sporting goods store, lest he catch Athlete’s Foot before he even got his real ice date underway. He spotted Quincy from afar, looking perfectly like an Instagram ad for a skating rink and smiled, awkwardly making his way towards her on his skates.

“Sorry, I got distracted last minute by the perils of renting skates and had to run out and get a pair, so hopefully this goes well because I just dropped $70 dollars into it.” He couldn’t help but grin as she tried to taunt him. “Do I look like a chicken to you? I’m going to be skating circles around you by the time we’re done.”

[lacklands]

If you could choose to have your life be like any holiday movie, which one would it be and why?

I’d love to be the snow man from Rudolph who just narrates other people’s lives while singing like Burl Ives.

[lacklands]

text 🎤 canny

Johnny: How do you feel about showing the freshies how it's done with a duet at our Christmas Karaoke Party?

Johnny: Any suggestions? I just request that we absolutely don't do Baby, It's Cold Outside.

[lacklands]

text 🍺 Joakley

Oakley: YAY FOR BOOTY CALL TEXTS! What even ARE booty call texts??? Like "heeeey I'm in the mood for sexy things and you're the only one I can think about!"? Or is it even simpler than that? I hear about the "U up?" text but it doesn't seem like anyone could get away with using it in real life. THANK YOU OH MY GOD THAT'S SO NICE! I love drunk people. They always say such nice things to meeeeeeeeeeee!

Oakley: I like playing pranks! And buying things, especially for other people! Is shopping drunk fun?! What the heckers is a hot apple toddy? Because that sounds adorable! I don't think I'd like the hard liquor tbh, I like good flaaaaavors! I WANNA DRINK JUICE!

Johnny: Well, in the case of regular people I think it's just "hey, u up? 😏" but I'm not basic so I typically personalize it a bit. So I'll just ask if they want to hang out with their favorite Oscar Isaac lookalike. 😉 You'd be surprised how many people can get away with u up? People have completely lost their standards thanks to Matchmakr and the like. I MEAN IT, but don't compare yourself to Timotay Charcoal he looks awful. You can find better people to be cuter than!!!

Johnny: Ohhhhh drunk pranks aren't a good idea. Unless the person you're pranking is also drunk, but it better not be me because I'VE HAD TWO MANY PEOPLE DRAW SHIT ON ME IN PERMANENT MARKER AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE THIS FACE FUCKED UP AGAIN. But like really, pranking drunk is a good way to get yourself arrested. Even if it's just like...collage jail. I feel like it might be fun drunk but not when you wake up, look at the ugly shit you bought and then at your bank account. Buying food drunk is fun tho. Hot whiskey or apple brandy, dab of honey, some hot apple cider, couple cimmanmin stix, clove or two, and mayyyyyyyyybe a lemon but I don't like it in there. It's alchohol and a buff against winter cold weather all in one.

Johnny: Juice drinks people seem to 👍🏼: strawberry daquiris 🍓, margaritas 🍹, mai tais 🍍, jungle juice 🐯, pina colada 🥥.

[lacklands]

text 🍻 joni

Gani: And you can knock it off with the attitude 🙄 humans and their nuts survive the cold every year.

Gani: You think I'd break the law for free? Besides, the materials cost, they don't just come from nowhere. I'm not putting a dollar price on it though until you start talking nicer 😇 that's not how you speak to someone who you want to help you, is it?

Johnny: I wasn't trying to give you attitude, sorry. I just really hate the cold, the Isle was more tropical then you'd expect given all the people wearing ridiculous looking leather jackets.

Johnny: I was being nice, being bad is fun. If you were all sugar and spice and everything nice, I wouldn't like you as much. 😉 This is the way I speak in general, clearly you don't like it as much as most people.

[lacklands]

text 👗 lenny

Lev: 🧝‍♂️🧙‍♂️👹 DRESSING UP IS THE BEST!! I like the idea of holiday hats tbh. It'll give us some variety. Or we could always do Tackiest Holiday Outfit and make it a contest lmao.

Lev: Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, but if you were interested why not give it a shot? It kind of started with her saying Eddie would be a better DM because he could sing through it and then I offered to be a singing DM because I care about what the party wants, but she pointed out not everyone might want a musical episode and then she mentioned you instead! So yeah! The lady clearly craves variety, why not give it to her? Accent work is the BEST. Hey, want to go to a lunch sometime and spend the whole time in a different accent to practice?

Johnny: You're always biased towards hats because they make you feel like a wizard, lbr. 😛 The only good thing that'll come out of me DMing is that you'll get to play a character for once instead of just making a bunch of NPC ones. Oh man, I can out tack you all though. 📎 I love to win and I have access to outstanding face makeup, wouldn't be a fair fight.

Johnny: I don't know that I really am...I mean I'd be fine at it but world building wouldn't be my strong suit. I'd have to do something like an only magic classes campaign at Hogwarts or any setting where I don't have to try and figure out wtf the campaign setting is. Hmmmm, but the whole point of playing a warlock was to stretch out of my normal persona which would be the charismatic based bard-filled campaign you're talking about. Is Eddie joining because we could just...not have that happen. Variety IS the spice of life but I just don't know that I have the time, directing the spring show is already going to take up basically all my free time. But I AM only going to be hanging out with one girl for a month so that will open some back up.

[lacklands]

text ❄️ linny

Liam: Oh, what a coincidence. I was just saying to a friend I was thinking about going caroling. It just felt wrong with the lack of snow when half the songs mention snow in them. What's your lineup?

Liam: Mind if I bring that friend? She claims she's not a good singer, so I hope that doesn't matter.

Johnny: Song lineup or cast lineup?

Johnny: Well, I won't lie and say I'm thrilled but could you kind of test that theory before you drag her out? Because I can't promise not to give her dirty looks if she's messing up our harmonies.

[lacklands]

text 🥂 summerland

Summer: Good thing for you that you now have a friend who knows all kinds of tricks for getting permanent marker off of things - skin, walls, you name it, I've had to do it!

Summer: Well lucky you, not all of us can have such amazing tolerances :-p Not to be a buzzkill, but it's still good to drink some! You'll feel better in the morning, aaaand passing out in an Uber slightly increases your chances of being murdered. Not that I'm worried murderers are running rampant in Auradon, but you can never be too careful!

Summer: I just got done decorating the sorority house for the holidays, I would definitely be up for something more exciting :)

Johnny: Godmother, how do you stand being around children all the time? I can barely stand being around my full-sized drama children when they do things like this SOMETIMES.

Johnny: Ughhhhhhh I don't want to feel better in the morning, I want to sleep straight through morning and forget this happened. Have a lot of people gotten murdered via Uber? Is this a thing? I mean I'm sure my odds are a lot better than the Isle and we still drank there.

Johnny: Ugh, is everyone here in a sorority? Which one are you in? The one with Quincy and Sydney or the one with all the wannabe bad girls?

[lacklands]

TEXT 🎨 Lake

Aimee: I don't know how to paint lmfao! I can barely even draw a straight line!

Johnny: You're taking an art elective, not majoring in it in this fictional scenario. And besides, that explains why SO MUCH paint was on your lack of clothes. You're terrible at it.