Ramblings from My Mind.

Just random beautiful things happening in my Fun Life.

[ladell8]

When you are still in emergency waiting for a room and everyone else is asleep.

[ladell8]

Life is still good. Making plans for the premiere of a certain short film. Stay tuned.

[ladell8]

David got this great Okd School Man Crate for his birthday. He was so happy! Thanks L&P; J&L and L&K! You guys rock!

[ladell8]

Merry Christmas everyone!!! #nofilter #nothingisordinary #magical #christmastree #christmasmorning

[ladell8]

Food!!!

[ladell8]

They give you a bib. So excited.

[ladell8]

At Boiling Seafood. These are the starter drinks. This birthday is going very well!

[ladell8]

We are at Datz. This is called Dunk this Donut. Can’t wait for the rest of the meal.

[ladell8]

2 naps and counting. That’s how I fly. Sleeping. Hee hee.

[ladell8]

David is getting his game on!

[ladell8]

I love the 70’s future vibe of Reagan National. Pretty cool bar with iPads and charging stations.

[ladell8]

We have a layover in Atlanta. Cancelled flights. And 2 inches of snow. It’s good to know Frank is always with me on Vacation! And David too. Hee hee. Enjoy your day y’all!

[ladell8]

Wednesday Mornings

So it is another typical Wednesday morning for me. I rush to grab a shower and get myself ready to head over to my Sister-in-Laws house to “watch” my Mother-in-Law. The Husband is especially happy with this arrangement because it gets me out of the house and not spending any money. hee hee. 

Today I am especially tired. Not because of what I have to face today, a beautiful woman who is declining with a disease that no-one understands, A sister-in-law who makes constant demands on my time and resources, a toddler who doesn’t want to mind me, a dog who is afraid of me and a cat who keeps puking all over the place. No that isn’t what made me tired. What made me tired was the lack of boundaries I keep for myself. I allow myself to get bogged down with all of this. My natural empathetic self is weighed down by the “what I should be doing instead of...” thoughts. I want to give so much that it has taken a toll on me mentally and physically. I want to help out my husband’s mother. She gave birth to the light of my life, but it is HARD to watch her go through this. Now I am not averse to hard things. I have lived in hard and uncomfortable situations throughout my whole life, but this is different. This is an intimacy with his mother that I do not have with my own. That is what makes this especially heartbreaking for me. No one asked if I was okay with any of this. It was just assumed that because I had the time now that I have graduated that I should be on-call 24/7.  So that is great for convenience for them, but I have been putting off my career to cater to their needs. Which is fine I guess it gives me more time to finesse my films and scripts and write more, but the constant guilt for working on my stuff has to stop. Anytime I take some time for myself, I get the look like, I am not doing enough for them. 

But today was different. Today I have decided to leave all of that resentment and anger behind. Striking a balance between what I need to do to get my career up and running without sacrificing the family obligations. But we need to get some help in here while my Mother-in-Law can still talk and tell us whether or not the person caring for her is trustworthy and/or harming her. Now is the time to vet proper care for her while she still has her voice. Not when her voice is gone and we won’t know whether or not she feels safe and well cared for. I can’t get my Sister-in-law on this same page. My husband and I even offered to share the cost of care. My sister-in-law doesn’t want to pay someone over $10/hour. I personally think their mother is worth more than that. I get it. We are not wealthy by any  means, but when we have exhausted all other options for care, the only other alternative is to come out of pocket for this. It sucks but that is what we will have to do for family. 

My list of things to do today Is care for myself, My Husband, My Mother-in-Law, Her cat, My nephew’s dog, My Sister-in-Law, My grand-niece, My Aunt, My Uncle, My cousin, His wife, My other Cousin, her daughter...SO MANY PEOPLE...but I have to care for myself first. Without my self care, none of this works. 

[ladell8]

Rockmobile time #rickandmorty #rickmobile

[ladell8]

Brunch at Three Tigers Brewery in Granville. With The Man

[ladell8]

Happy Halloween Ya’ll

[ladell8]

Just hipped aunt linda to making a Bitmoji. We are waiting for Uncle Fred’s procedure to end.