Fanwork: InuYasha
Pairing: InuKag, MirSan
Rating: M
Chapter 17: The Space Between Words (Fanfiction.net // AO3)
Summary: After a three year absence, Kagome finally returns to the feudal era. Yet her high hopes for a happy future are crushed and made more difficult by the warring sanctions that are wreaking havoc in Japan. People are dying, disappearing, and something strange is happening with the well.
Last Chapter:
A wave of exhaustion swept over Kagome, and she found she wanted nothing more than to go back to Inuyasha’s carefully crafted home. To the room that smelled like his refreshing forest pine scent, the musky aroma that was purely his own. She didn’t realize she had closed her eyes until she felt the floor fall from beneath her; the scent she had been wistful for bunched warmly against her cheek. A soft gasp left her as she became weightless, groggy gray eyes met concerned gilded ones before Inuyasha turned away and walked into the unsuspecting cloak of the night.
“I can walk, you know.”
Inuyasha scoffed as he carried Kagome through the threshold of his home. They passed through the entrance, the kitchen, the main room, and finally to his resting room.
It was dark, moonlight filtered through the window, and the futon remained untouched just as they had left it that morning. It whispered of soft comforts and promises yet to come.
He bent to one knee, resting half her body against him as he peeled away the blanket for her. Kagome smiled, holding back a tired laugh as he lay her and covered her with it. She watched as he moved around the room. She raised the blanket to her chin as he lit a lantern with the scratch of flint. He then straightened and stretched to the ceiling to hang it on a hook she hadn’t noticed before. It illuminated everything in a comforting, soft golden glow. As if to say, you’re home now.
“Thank you.” Her heart bloomed with warmth at the fact that he remembered her fear of the dark. She prayed the flickering lights would give her respite for the night. That it would illuminate the dark corners and lingering shadows from her thoughts away.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he admitted, lounging down slowly beside her outside the futon; body turned towards her - attuned and alert - his elbow and leg bent, a hand supporting his head as he watched her. “You need anything,” he asked quietly, “Water, another blanket?” His clawed hand reached out to her face with slight hesitation.
She grabbed it right before he pulled back and shook her head. Those same claws grazed softly, safely against her skin. “Honestly, I wanted to come back.” She noted the worried wrinkle between his brow, his eyes glowing intense like molten honey, taking every part of her in, as if he could see through the blanket to assess anything that could be wrong, both inside and out. His posture relaxed minutely to her admission.
”Figured. Kaede’s turned into a shit show fast.”
Kagome let out a laugh at that. She closed her eyes and brought his hand closer to her face. His fingers tightened around hers, and he pushed against an inky lock that strayed across her cheek, wishing he could push away her doubts just as easily.
Kagome sighed, eternally grateful for the closeness they were sharing. “I’m a little overwhelmed by the villagers. I feel like they’re expecting too much of me.”
”They’re just excited,” he said softly, afraid that speaking any louder would disturb the quiet of the night. Their hushed voices protected the renewed ease they flowed back into, like a river whispering secrets under the moonlight.
“But they don’t know what I’ve done.”
”Defended yourself, then saved a village full of children.” InuYasha scoffed, not missing a beat. “Most of them don’t even have the courage to do half of that.”
She took in a sharp breath, eyes snapping to his own. Hearing his view of the situation; she hadn’t seen it that way. “Is that what you think,” she asked nervously.
”Don’t be an idiot,” he grew intense, leaning closer to her as if just by will power alone, he could cleanse her thoughts of all her grievances. Like if his body, his presence could shield the oncoming hurdles life would throw at her. “That’s exactly what happened.”
Kagome’s feelings were a complete mess. She couldn’t get over what she had done. Her heart was heavy despite what InuYasha shared with her, but the determined way he spoke to her, like she was still worth it, had something in her chest tightening painfully, then flipping and skipping with gratitude. So many emotions she just couldn’t straighten or figure out.
Yet, little by little, he was helping put together bits and pieces of her, pieces she had lost, thought no longer belonged.
Something back at that village had snapped, broken her. Yet here he was, demanding her to see herself the way he still did.
She was not there yet, not fully. Her reflection fragmented like sharp edges of a fractured mirror. She was, but wasn’t who she was before. Her convictions still drove her, but her actions cast doubts like a dark lingering shadow, following every step she took. Reminding her, never letting her forget what she had done. But maybe, maybe there was a silver lining, maybe she wasn’t completely ruined. She had saved a group of children, comforted them, shielded them and distracted them while their whole lives changed in the blink of an eye.
And as Inuyasha’s silver hair grazed her shoulder, his golden eyes bold and not shying away from her stormy ones. She was overcome with emotion, feeling small parts of herself fall back into place. Kagome lifted slightly from the futon, whispered his name, reached out to him with shaky hands, and pulled him in for a soft kiss. Their eyes closed simultaneously, breathing each other in deeply. Their scents mingled in the room; a forest of musky pine and fields of jasmine flowed between them. Lips soft as silk, hearts thundering, intentions firm.
Inuyasha pushed closer to her, her head pressed back on the blankets, hair fanning open like a halo. He was everything she had wished for and more. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and Inuyasha pulled away at that. Still so close, but watching, absorbing, assessing. Eyes flicking from one to the other.
A moment of silence passed between them. Quiet, but understanding. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions laid bare without having to say a word. “Stay,” she whispered.
His gaze lingered on her lips, then went back up to her cloudy gray eyes, “I’m not leaving my own room.”
She smirked, trying hard not to laugh. “Stay here, next to me,” she clarified. His cheeks flushed at that, and he leaned down to kiss the drying tears from the corners of her eyes. She hummed pleasantly at his gentle affection.
He nosed her cheek then, “I promised I’d protect you.” She blushed furiously as he trailed down her neck, “even here, from the dark, the nightmares, or even from yourself.” He breathed her deeply in, nuzzling his face against her, yet keeping his body away just enough so as to not hurt her healing skin.
“Sleep, Kagome.” And she did, with the warmth and protection of the man she had yearned for ever for, vigilant and steadfast beside her.
~*CAM*~
The next morning woke Kagome with the sounds of fire and the smell of smoke. She sat up with a start, blinking her nightmare away with ragged uneven breaths.
Inuyasha was right beside her, rubbing her back and grounding her to reality. “Wasn’t as bad as last time,” he observed. Grateful that she didn’t thrash around in the night nor woke up screaming and disorientated. He handed her some water which she downed in an instant. He smirked. “Think you can eat somethin’?”
Kagome closed her eyes and hunched over, rubbing her hands over her face. “Maybe,” she breathed. “I think I just want to wash my face, go outside and,” she sat up straighter then, “take these wrappings off.” She pulled up a sleeve, the gauze felt itchy and stiff, irritating more than helping. “I love Kaede but I think I’m supposed to let my skin breathe.”
“Maybe we should reapply the ointment. I brought some over.” He shuffled around the room then came back with a small container, opening the cover for her to peek inside. “You want some help?”
She nodded, then turned her back to him. “Just to get this robe off, and maybe cut off the ones wrapping around my back. I can take over from there.” She undid the ties at the front of her yukata.
Inuyasha swallowed dryly. A flash of her in his wash tub, back wet, skin shining like pearls, tasting her shoulder. Breast firm in his hand.
He cleared his throat. This was no time for that. Carefully, he pulled the neckline from her shoulders, then dragged the sleeves off and down her arms. They pooled around her waist. He tried to blink the honeyed glaze from his eyes, noticing the dip and curves of her body.
“Actually, can you cut the wraps from my arms first?” She asked, shyly peeking at him over a bare shoulder.
Shit, she was so fucking cute. Hair a tousled inky mess, eyes still misty from sleep.
He prayed to god his face wasn’t beet red and nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. With all the gentleness he could muster, he pressed a claw to the gauze, just enough till it popped through, and dragged down, cutting it from her arm to her wrist. He pulled it away from her, she hissed quietly, skin still pink and peeled underneath, and held her breath, forcing the sting away.
He frowned at the damage. “Kagome..”
“I know,” she cut him off with a sigh. “Let’s just finish this up.” She turned, presenting him with her next arm.
He continued with surgical precision. “Promise me you won’t do this again.”
Her gaze drifted away, shame warping her features as he finished. “I’m going to need some water to clean these up first.”
He ignored her, “promise me, Kagome.” Voice deadly serious and stern, a hint of a snarl to it. Kagome looked up, surprised at his tone.
“I-I promise.” He stared at her a moment longer, daring her to lie to him. Her hands fisted at her sides. “I swear, InuYasha.” She didn’t blink, didn’t look away, assuring him with the confidence in her glare.
He seemed to accept it. Nodding once before leaving to get the materials.
Alone in the room, Kagome closed her eyes and sighed. Her body bowed weakly, already exhausted from the emotional and physical toll. She would make it through this, she told herself. She had to. This was Feudal Japan after all. What had she even expected after falling through the well again? A happily ever after?
Maybe that would come with time. And sure, the jewel was gone, but Japan was torn into factions. Different lords fighting for territory. She knew this first hand from past experiences, from history books. Now throw in demons, ghouls, and ghosts. Then a sprinkle of trauma and mercenaries.
She only prayed Kaede’s village would stand untouched by it all. But they still had to find Kohaku, and that meant venturing outside of the village was inevitable, and running into all those things, it wasn’t a matter of why, but when.
Inuyasha came back in and handed her a warm steaming cup smelling of herbs that slightly calmed her nerves. “A pain numbing tea,” he said, “with healing properties.” He sat next to her and dipped a hand cloth into a small water basin. “Drink it.”
She smiled and took a small careful sip. “You’ve thought of everything.”
He lifted her arm by the hand and squeezed the wet fabric until the water dripped down her arm. She tensed at the sting, taking another drink as he continued until her whole arm had been rinsed clean. “Don’t wanna keep going to Kaede’s every day, do ya?”
She hummed her reply, eyes closing with comfort behind the mug. He was so right. Having been nearly cornered by the villagers had been wholly unpleasant. What she needed now was time alone to rest and heal.
InuYasha went to her next arm and repeated the process, then unscrewed the cap for the ointment and gently spread it around her open wounds. “I was thinking,” she started hesitantly.
“Here we go,” he smirked good naturedly and moved behind her. “You ready?”
She nodded as he gathered her hair and swept it over her shoulder, then heard the ‘pop’ of the gauze cutting open behind her as he slid his claw gently down her spine. She felt her face flush but kept speaking, trying to distract herself. “We need to talk to everyone about what happened out there. Come up with a plan.”
“‘Kay,” he said, concentrating as he lifted the fabric from her skin, which was unblemished since she hadn’t reached back there during her bath. “When do you want to see them?”
“Sometime today,” she said as she lifted her arms, trying to ignore how warm he radiated as his own arms pushed under hers, so close, but not touching. Just continuing to peel layers away from her back, then her ribs. He faltered as he neared her stomach; almost like a hug from behind, but not quite.
She felt his breath slide hotly against her neck before he spoke. Voice softer, darker, deeper. “Keep going,” he asked. And god he sounded sweeter than sin.
Kagome bit her lip, swallowing hard and whispered a silky yes. For a moment, he didn’t move, and Kagome swore her breaths were coming out ragged. But how did this suddenly feel so sensual? Like their words were confirming something different, something more carnal that had her thighs tensing beneath her.
Then he leaned in close, and she felt him take her in. Her scent, her essence, deep into his lungs before pressing his nose against her neck. She turned her face, leaned her head against his, and whispered his name weakly with want.
“Fuck,” he growled out, his fangs grazing her collar, “you smell amazing.”
Kagome lost all words, so overcome with the sensation of him. And here she thought his kisses were maddening, but those fangs? She suddenly wanted to feel them everywhere, and be absolutely consumed by him.
She wanted to drag her hands across his arms, his defined biceps, turn in his embrace and absolutely devour him. Teeth nipped at her neck and then held firm as her eyes blew open, his movement aggressive, possessive as he snarled and ripped the bindings in front of her body apart in a single, smooth motion.
InuYasha’s hands hovered over the freed swell of her breasts, the heat of his skin and cold of the air exciting her in a way she had never experienced before. The tips of her mounds grazed against him with every breath she took. And then he was gone with a curse on his lips and a slam of his room door.
Dumbfounded and dazed, Kagome blinked away the haze of arousal, overwhelmed by the way her heart tried to beat its way right out of her chest. It’s rhythm almost taking complete control of the sway of her body.
It took a long moment for her to readjust, to center herself enough to slow the thrum of her excitement, until she finally spread the ointment forgotten behind her. She closed her eyes, the cold cream chilling her chest, her ribs, and the dip of her stomach.
She fell back on the futon, exasperated. Hot, bothered, and completely wrecked.
~*CAM*~
Inuyasha was fuming. What was it about Kagome that he just couldn’t keep his damn hands off her?
He busied himself with making her breakfast before he drove himself completely mad. There he was, doing perfectly well helping her from her bandages, he thought. Pouring soup into a bowl and cutting fish into thin, long edible strands. But no, he had scented it in the air, her jasmine aroma had suddenly spiked as he helped her around her torso, and the closer he got to her, the headier and more enticing she became. He continued plating as everything replayed in his mind.
Then she had said his name in a way that had him wanting to press closer to her, rip the rest of her clothes off and sink his fangs into her. That’s when he had backed off. What the fuck even was that? He wasn’t some damn animal! And the way she had reacted, like if it was no big deal at all!
He fisted his hands and leaned them against the counter, trying to ground himself as he felt panic slowly fraying in. Had he gone and fucked up? Was she going to emerge from his room and politely ask to be brought back to Kaede’s? Had he crossed some undrawn line? They hadn’t even discussed their relationship. Was this something she even wanted?
He knew she enjoyed their kisses, but this was something different all together. Shit! He had hoped she’d stay with him, but at this rate, every time he got close to her, every time their lips pressed together, he just couldn’t help feeling her, dragging his hands and exploring the rest of her soft body.
He was fucking screwed.
The slide of his room door had an ear bend towards her, he glanced quickly and tore his eyes away as she peeked out at him. He couldn’t even look at her now.
“I made you breakfast,” he grumbled, grabbing all the plates with both hands and walking towards the front door. “You wanted to go outside,” he explained and made his exit, not bothering to look back. He set the food on his veranda and took off into the trees, too guilty to even sit next to her.
~*CAM*~
Kagome frowned, the suddenly empty main room too terribly quiet.
Such a sweet gesture, only to be followed by such a cold shoulder? She couldn’t understand. What in the world?
Walking carefully to the front door in her light sleeping yukata, both hands wrapped around the warm herbal tea InuYasha had given her, Kagome wondered. Did she do something wrong? Was she over staying her welcome?
Licking her lips nervously, she prepared herself to ask him what was wrong when she opened the door only to be met by his absence. She stood dumbfounded, staring at the plates of food, and InuYasha completely gone.
She looked past his house to the swaying trees, searching for any trace of him, then tried with her senses. She turned towards Kaede’s village. His aura was faint, suggesting that he was already almost there, and too far for her to even speak to.
~*CAM*~
The food was half eaten by the time Kagome felt InuYasha’s presence again. He wasn’t gone long, but enough to have her worrying, enough to cast doubts although they had spent what she had thought was such a pleasant time together.
She waited for him to emerge from the tree line. Then waited, and waited. She still couldn’t see him, but could bet anything he could see her.
Kagome sighed, quickly glancing down at the plates before calling out to him. “InuYasha, I know you’re out there!” She scanned the clearing again, giving him a chance to come out on his own. “I couldn’t eat all the food. Come have the rest!”
The trees rustled, a flock of birds flew across the sky, and he stubbornly remained hidden despite her efforts.
Standing carefully to not irritate her skin against her yukata, Kagome clenched her first, eyes furrowed as she pinned his location and stared, daring him to ignore her a third time. “If you don’t come out” she paused for dramatic effect and shrieked “I’ll say IT!”
A beat passed, and she really didn’t want to say it. But whatever this was, they needed to talk it through, and they were going to have this conversation whether he wanted to or not. She opened her mouth, and he suddenly dropped across her on the other side of the food. The floorboards shook from his weight and she almost toppled over. InuYasha grumbled something under his breath, then sat and tossed some food into his mouth, crossing his arms and looking in her opposite direction.
“What-“ she didn’t even know what to say at that point. “What has gotten into you?!”
His ears flattened to his head, and a leg began a maddening shake. She watched him close in on himself.
Kagome sat back down, studying him carefully when a guilty ache settled over her shoulders. She swallowed hard, “did… did I do something wrong?”
He turned on her at that, eyes fearful and wide. “What - no! Don’t ever say that!”
“Then why did you leave like that?!” She yelled, tears bunching at the corner of her eyes. “Are you mad at me? Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” A clawed hand reached up and brushed back his silver bangs, eyes flashing at her in a panic. “Shit, I’m sorry Kagome, I fucked up!”
“What are you talking about?” Nothing he was saying made sense. If she hadn’t done anything wrong, then what had he? “You’ve been nothing but perfect,” she said softly, gently trying to calm them both down. She saw the way his breathing was coming in sharp, his fists clenching.
“I shouldn’t have-“ he looked away then, a scowl twisting his features.
“Shouldn’t have what?” She pressed. “You’ve done nothing but take care of me.” She gestured at the food, “you’ve fed me, helped me sleep, calmed me down after my nightmares.” An ear flicked towards her then. “I am so grateful of you, InuYasha.”
He was quiet then, and she let him sit with that. Whatever he was telling himself and not her, she needed to make him understand. Sure, things were not perfect, but that was just the way of the world. And things between them, at least to her, were perfect. She couldn’t have been happier with him.
Kagome reached out across them and gently laid her hand atop his. He pulled away like it burned, and she flinched back, hurt tears clouding her vision. “Stop that,” she pleaded. Voice shaky despite willing herself to be strong. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I-“
She waited, giving him the space that he needed, the space to think. His aura flickered dangerously at moments, thoughts intense and thundering behind his golden eyes. “InuYasha…” she whispered.
“I shouldn’t have done that.” He said, voice deep, dark, and haunted. “I took advantage of you Kagome.” He refused to make eye contact. “I’m sorry. I- I was rough.“ he swallowed down his grief, a heavy burden he had been carrying since he left his room. “I understand if you want to leave.”
One minute Kagome was across from the food, the next she was in front of him, kneeling between his legs.
“Wha-?” He leaned back, panicked pools of molten gold frantically looking at her own watery, stormy ones.
Determined, Kagome reached both hands to his face, trying to bridge this ridiculous gap between them. Her fingers tangled with his silver locks as she pressed against him.
“Are you trying to kick me out?”
“No!”
“Are we not a couple now?”
“Yes!” He stuttered, “I mean,” she leaned closer then. “Only-“ he swallowed audibly, voice lowering and nervous. “Only if you want to be.”
Shutting him up with her lips, Kagome kissed him. Soft, firm, and purposeful. She could feel how tense his body was around her, uncertain and doubtful. She pulled a hair’s length away, their lips brushing intimately as she whispered, “I want to be.” She opened her eyes just enough to watch his own drop down, almost drunkenly. “I only want this with you, InuYasha.”
He leaned closer at that, hesitantly. “You ain’t mad?”
She smirked despite herself, enjoying his warmth, the smell of pine that radiated off of him. “If I was, it’d be just because I didn’t want you to stop.”
His chest expanded then, breathing her in a rush, and he couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arm around her back, pressing her closer, lips locking, molding, opening and letting her in. Inuyasha was overcome with relief. He groaned when she bit his lip. She pulled back, and he chased her mouth like it was a drug.
“Don’t doubt yourself with me, InuYasha,” she whispered firmly against him.” He nodded, eyes closed. “I’m serious.”
“Sorry,” he grumbled, resting his forehead against hers. “You sure I wasn’t too rough?” He remembered the urge to bite her, consume her, feel her everywhere. “My fangs weren’t too sharp?”
Kagome fought back her moan at the reminder. “I can’t even tell you all the things I wanted you to do with your fangs,” she admitted in a hush.
It was then he scented that familiar spike climbing through the jasmine. And she pulled back with a shy laugh. He blinked, struggling not to tighten his hold on her.
“I know our day just started, but I’m already exhausted.” She stepped away sheepishly, “I hope you don’t mind if I go sleep some more.”
He shook his head. “Go rest. Miroku and Sango will be by later.” She kissed him a final time, and he didn’t care how desperate he looked when he eagerly reciprocated.
InuYasha watched as Kagome disappeared into his house. Then leaned back, staring into the trees as he slowly ate the rest of the food, letting the warmth of her settle into his heart, mind, and soul.
~*CAM*~
(A/N)
Y’all, I’ve been writing this chapter non stop for the last couple days. I wanted to cover more but didn’t want this to become monstrously long. I will be updating previous chapters since my writing has evolved, so I apologize for any update emails you may receive in the near future. My fiance is an angel for enjoying my company while I indulge in this hobby. Cheers to the InuYasha community, great men, and tired eyes. I hope you are all having a great summer! 💖
