Lady Bess @lady-bess - Tumblr Blog

Jul 21

Fallout - Chapter 18 "White Feather"

Jack Daniels x F!Reader Explicit / 18+ (Minors DNI please) Chapter Word Count: 1.6k Chapter Tags: Post-sex, the morning after trope, heavy implication of previous mental health issues discussed, Jack's POV, hangover, somewhat spiralling out of control, semi cliffhanger?

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<- Previous Chapter (Ch.17 "Unsaid Feelings & All Their Meanings")

He thought he could do this. He thought he had passed this pain. He thought he was better.

Jack woke up before you did, your body still limp in his arms next to him. He might have been a little hungover, evident from the pounding headache that greeted him as he opened his eyes, the sting from his retina forcing him to screw his lids shut for a beat more, but still he recollected everything from last night. Sleeping with you, the way you felt around him, the taste of your lips…and the reason he wandered to your apartment in the first place.

Comfort. He’d wanted comfort.

He knew it was selfish to be trawling the halls of the Statesman apartments at this late hour, especially given how many of you had all drunk yourself into a silly stupor. But you weren’t like that, and neither was he. You’d celebrated, but he knew you were both still sound of mind enough to be able to make this decision.

As he wandered closer to your apartment, he had a pang of worry in his stomach; what if you said no? What if after all this, you turned him down? What if you were too drunk, and he hadn’t noticed? Had he been in his own head about this for so long that he’d never paid attention to if you may feel the same? Was he so blinded by his pain and agony that he’d neglected to see what was right before his very eyes?

Jack shook his head quickly. He would of course make sure you were totally ready for this step, should that come up. He would know if you were too drunk to make that informed decision - you two were partners before anything else, it was literally his job to have your back and make sure you were okay.

He knew he was getting in his own head about everything. The world would not implode if you rejected him, but at the mere thought in his mind it currently felt like it would. But by God, he hoped you would say yes. He had been yearning for you for far too long, and on tonight of all nights he knew he needed this kind of outlet. He wouldn’t be shocked if you did too - after working so hard on this case, and for Jack personally having put so much of this part of his life to one side for the sake of Statesman, just once he wanted to indulge.

He walked a few more paces and got to your door. Lights shone from the edges, so he knew you’d made it back okay. He’d given you a bit of space when you were seen leaving with Astrid, likely shipping her back off to her apartment in lieu of Tequila, who was seemingly quite content camping out in the boardroom on the floor - Jack had thrown his jacket over him as a makeshift blanket, laughing to himself as Tex’s dirty denim crumpled over his body, a far cry from Jack’s own clean and polished suit.

He’d poured himself a fresh whiskey, enjoying the silence of the room now that most people had gone. He’d sipped on it slowly as he looked outside, overlooking the brewery, and let the notes of the whiskey smoothly run down his throat. This was his own blend, and was perhaps the one thing to come from his house arrest which made him see the light at the end of the tunnel with all of what had happened to bring him to this moment.

That, and maybe one other thing. The thorn in his side, the woman who had taken his moniker, gave him hell, but trained him back up to be the agent that he had once been - potentially even better, given her approach to ensuring his mental sanity stayed intact.

You.

That was when the proverbial penny dropped. Here he stood, looking out over all which had both given him purpose and yet taken away so much of his life, denying himself of the one thing that could potentially make him feel alive again. Almost instantly he’d turned on his heels, bidding the remaining agents a goodnight, and headed straight for where you lived.

He knocked, and you allowed him entry. And at your first kiss back, he breathed a hearty sigh of relief in his mind, and the biggest weight which pushed him down was removed.

Because you said yes.

Jack smiled to himself as you continued to sleep soundly. His weak attempts to wake you fell on deaf ears it seemed, as even with gentle caresses and kisses to your shoulder, you were not for rousing. He chuckled to himself, and let you sleep.

Rolling onto his back, Jack reached for his phone on the floor, lost at some point in your hurried natures to get trousers off as fast as possible. He pulled it out and glanced at the time; 06:23 am. Sighing to himself, he locked it again, and went back to holding you in his arms. It was no surprise he was awake so early, but he had hoped his brain would let him just have one lie-in.

Ever since he’d started with Loretta, one of the first things she’d got him to do was to make a routine. At the time he thought it was bullshit, but in hindsight it was probably the best idea she had come up with in those early days. Find a routine in the chaos of this job, and use that as an anchor to give you stability. So even on uncertain days, he wasn’t spiralling out of control with no purpose.

Get up, exercise, check in with Champ…

Jack sighed to himself softly as he remembered those days. They were some of the most painful he’d ever been through, but looking back now he knew he was the better man for it. You had helped him through so much of that too - while he may have started out his rehab programme feeling utterly alone in the world, the second you came into his life he began to see the purpose behind it all. He saw the reason to keep going, and to push through his pain and anguish.

He watched your chest rise and fall softly as you slept soundly, deciding to not try and wake you any more. Clearly you needed the rest, not only after your workload recently, but he knew how much you’d all indulged last night. If anyone deserved a break, especially from him right now, it was you.

And at that thought it was like a bulb went off in Jack’s head, shining so bright it shattered, leaving shards of metaphorical glass all around his destructive mind.

Something began to tax his weary head as he lay here next to you. The two of you may have gone into last night as two consenting adults who clearly wanted this, but Jack couldn’t shake the feeling that he had used you. You’d spent literally hours of your life trying to build Jack’s life back up to where it once was, if not surpassing the kind of man he used to be. Was this really how he repaid you? A drunken fuck, with only a vague promise at the end alluding to this maybe happening again?

Shame washed over him at the thought, and slowly he found himself moving away from you. His heart pounded in his chest, the guilt souring through him like nothing else ever had before. He owed you so much, perhaps even his life itself. But no matter how hard he tried, how many people could clearly see how he felt, Jack couldn’t let himself take that final step. The grief surrounding his wife had never left, in spite of the years of therapy, and for as much as he had tried he couldn’t imagine actually dating you and it working. Everything he touched seemed to go to shit - his first wife, his unborn child, his career - what was to say that a relationship with you wouldn’t end in the same fate?

Jack slipped out of bed, biting back tears as his heart rattled around in his chest, pounding against his sternum and making him feel like a hollow vessel. That’s what he was; hollow, shallow, and empty. A husk of a man, unable to let anyone in. He’d fallen into his old ways of indulging in pleasure and chasing comfort, but this time with the one woman who deserved so much more than what he could offer. He stood afraid and cowardly in the face of the first real thing he could have contemplated in literally decades.

He thought he could do this.

He thought he had passed this pain.

He thought he was better.

Bile rose in his throat as he sniffed back tears and hurriedly put on his clothes, that pain he thought he was rid of at the forefront of his mind. Everything inside him ached, and while he knew he definitely owed you an explanation for all of this, right now he needed to be anywhere but here. The mental anguish soon manifested physically, and within minutes he felt sick to his stomach, like a leech was boring its way out of his body. He had to get out. There was not one part of him that wanted to drag you down into this madness, his suffering; you’d already suffered enough.

Grabbing his final belongings, not even bothering to put his jacket and shoes on properly, Jack snuck out of your room. He softly closed the door behind him, and in the silent safety of the hallway outside, he let those tears finally fall free, knowing it would be highly unlikely that anyone else would be around to witness it. Shoving his shoes on at last, he dug through his jacket pocket to find the keys to his truck that were still laid tucked in them. Right now, there was only one place he wanted to be in the whole world.

Home.

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lady-bess

Jul 19

Fallout - Chapter 17 "Unsaid Feelings & All Their Meanings"

Jack Daniels x F!Reader Explicit / 18+ (Minors DNI please) Chapter Word Count: 8.1k Chapter Tags: Holy shit they actually fuck, slow burn of all slow burns here, missionary sex, slightly tipsy sex, protected sex, idiots in love, end of a mission, heavy petting.

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<- Previous Chapter (Ch.16 "Undercover")

The jig is up, and you're all celebrating your victory in true Statesman fashion. But while things don't feel 100%, you and Jack put all that to one side as you submit to your long standing harboured feelings. (18+/ NSFW chapter)

A/N: Took 'em fuckin' long enough to get here oh my GOD (she says, like it wasn't entirely her own choice to make this a slow burn)

February 19th, 2021

You’d all certainly done your fair share of indulging this evening. You stumbled into your Statesman issued apartment, still with a drink in hand, and slung off your shoes and jacket haphazardly. Today had been such a great day, and the team had unwound in the most Statesman of ways - by attempting to drink your own distillery bone dry.

“He gave up the whole operation,” Champ had said, standing at the head of the board room, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. You all started exchanging glances around the room, confusion and shock the most prevalent emotion. Champ had insisted everyone come in immediately, in spite of the already late hour, and you’d all feared why that might have been. Normally it was for emergency missions, to announce if a mission went sideways, or if an agent had passed away.

But it turns out, for once, his reason was to celebrate.

“What’s the catch?” Jack asked, always the cynic. Although you had to admit that you shared the sentiment; this felt too easy. Like all the work you’d put in was just handed to you on a plate.

Then again, for most of the team, this hadn’t been all that much work. Perhaps it had just felt it to you and Jack because of the amount of therapy that the two of you had gone through to make this kind of work bearable. Jack had so many skeletons in his closet, some that only you were privy to, but the fact that this case could have cost him his sanity was nothing to scoff at. This was always going to feel more significant to the two of you than anyone else.

“There is none. Not really, anyway. He just wants his life in exchange for the information we need, which feels like a fair trade to me. It wasn’t like we were plannin’ on killin’ him anyway!” Champ was practically cheering now. Jack nodded slowly, taking in his words.

“So, it’s over?” Eve asked from across the table. She had been out on various missions these last few weeks, chasing up her own leads and suspicions about what was going on, but had come back a few days ago and had been brought up to speed with these developments.

“Yes. It appeared that your two guys were running almost as independently as their boss would let them,” Champ said, directing his attention to you and Jack, “They’d been given instructions to distribute the narcotics to as many people as they could, while still remaining under the radar. They didn’t care if they took money in exchange for them, they just needed them circulated. It appears your guys came up with their own bizarre way of getting ‘payment’ for them, but that did seem to be an isolated case. We pressed him about his employer, as well as the shipments you were tracking too, Eve, and he’s given us the names and places of those people involved. We had small SWOT teams on the ground within the last hour, seizing assets,” Champ explained.

“What did they find?” Astrid asked.

“Everything we’ve been looking for. Details about shipments, receipts showing both their purchases to make their narcotics, plus evidence pointing us in the direction towards who they’ve been supplyin’. We got a whole list of country clubs and hotels that were targeted by individuals not too dissimilar to get this job done, and thanks to your hard work, every single one has now been rid of these wretched individuals,” Champ grinned, pleased with the outcome, “Agents. I’d like you to all raise your glass to a job well done. With your hard work, we’ve prevented what could have been another Golden Circle incident,” he said, and you couldn’t not notice how his eyes found Jack’s as he said that.

Jack smiled stiffly, slightly unsure he believed that this was truly over. You supposed, for him, it might never feel that way. The Golden Circle operation had come to define so much of his life; both before the incident that changed him mentally, and after.

You all lifted your glasses in unison with Champ and toasted to a successful mission, slinging back the hard liquor simultaneously. Your gaze found Jack’s, and silently you gave him a look of understanding; this had felt too easy.

“Tomorrow,” you whispered to him as everyone began cheering, “We’ll look into it tomorrow”.

Jack nodded before reaching over to grab your hand. He clasped it tight as you took another drink, Champ having already been around with the bottle to top up everyone’s glass. You lost yourself in his gaze for a moment, forgetting where you were and focusing on just him for a moment.

“Let’s just enjoy tonight”.

And enjoy yourselves, you had. Five hours of serious drinking later, and you were rather feeling the effects of the booze Champ had picked out for you all to celebrate. It was a new batch, flavoured with orange and honey - the very same batch Jack had worked on during his days of desk duty and distillery work, while he was still considered on ‘house arrest’. The same batch he had snuck into the restaurant on your ‘date’. What had only been a matter of a week felt like it was a lifetime ago…

Tests of Jack’s prototype had been a success, and the bottles had hit the markets just over a month ago. Already Statesman was leading sales figures for the last few weeks in the infused whiskey market, so Champ saw it only appropriate that it should be what was used tonight. The first four glasses went down with ease. A bit too easy.

Heading into your apartment, you took a seat at the small desk you had in the corner. It was something you had put in when you began studying to be an agent, and suddenly those days of case study came flooding back. You smiled as you sat at the desk, one fingertip tracing the edges of the wood as you sipped on your drink.

How time had flown.

There was nothing you needed to do at your desk, so it remained clear, but you knew getting into bed right now was a death sentence waiting to happen. Plus, you still had some of your drink to finish. Taking your phone out, you sipped your drink slowly as you scrolled through it, smiling and chuckling at the various silly photos you had taken over the course of the evening.

Tequila laid on the conference room table.

Eve falling off her chair, bottle of whiskey in hand.

Astrid crouched down laughing so hard you honestly thought she was going to not make it to the bathroom in time.

It had been a breath of fresh air for the team after so long without anything to celebrate. Essentially since you and Astrid had graduated, at least, it seemed like you’d been on case after case with a limited degree of success. Things got done, you were both doing a fine job as well. But in terms of such a positive outcome like tonight, they came few and far between. And after the weight of the last couple of weeks weighing heavy on you and Jack, it was absolutely needed.

You sighed as you leant back into your chair, thinking back on the events of recent. The undercover mission, yours and Jack’s “not date”, the pact you made to put feelings to one side for a while in favour of making sure this mission went off without a hitch. Everything that led to those moments, the struggle, the hours of training…Gods, if anyone deserved a break for a night, it was you two.

And at that thought, a knock came at your door.

“Come in,” you said, still fully dressed even in the confines of your apartment, so not too worried about who was on the other side of that door. You figured it might be Eve or Astrid coming to crash for the night, neither of them living as close as you still did to Statesman grounds.

What you weren’t expecting was Jack to duck in behind your door, a glass in his hand the same as you. You lifted your now almost empty glass to him in a small ‘cheers’, as he let himself in.

“I hope you don’t mind the intrusion…I just needed to see you,” Jack smiled faintly as he closed the door behind him. You shrugged to yourself, draining the final bit of whiskey from your glass, and setting it to one side.

“You’re always welcome, Jack. Is everything okay?” you asked. Jack’s presence alone seemed to sober you up a little, almost as if you weren’t sure if you needed to be on high alert around him now. The last few weeks your emotions and feelings about him had been all over the palace, especially as you attempted to keep things professional for as much as possible.

“I’m good. Just wanted to come see you,” he winked, “You did well, Agent. We wouldn’t be here celebrating was it not for your work,” Jack said to you, removing his stetson and hanging it on the coat rack by your door. You looked up and smiled at him, watching as he approached your desk.

“As did you, Jack,” you said. He scoffed, sitting down opposite you.

“I barely did anything. It was you who got Leon to drop his guard and get into close quarters alone. You were very convincing,” he chuckled, and you scrunched up your nose in slight disgust at the memory.

“It felt pretty gross to be honest,” your body shuddered at another memory, “I can’t think of anyone who I wanted to touch me less than him.”

Jack smirked across at you, taking slight joy in watching how you negatively reacted to the thought of sleeping with Leon. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about that part of the mission over and over again, remembering how hard he’d been as he lay in waiting for the right time to strike, listening to your softs coos and pleas over the comms. It had been Hell.

“You sure are a good actress then. Could have had me fooled,” he winked, leaning forward on his forearms, the remainder of his drink now discarded to the other side of the desk. The scent of him flooded your senses and you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

“Believe me,” you began, leaning closer to Jack, “I despised it.”

Something was happening. The mood shifted, and you suddenly found so much confidence flowing through you. You might not have been sober, but you were by far not drunk. You knew you wanted this, actually you, not alcohol-induced you.

And it seemed Jack joined you in that desire.

“Good,” he said, a slight snarl in his voice, “Becuase it was torture to watch.”

It took a moment for your brain to catch up, but no sooner had Jack finished speaking he had leant fully over the desk and caught your lips in a ruinously fierce kiss, the tips of his fingers grasping at your jaw like you were a lifeline. You kissed him back, hands immediately flying up to wrap around his shoulders and dig your fingers into his suit jacket, clinging onto him as if he might otherwise disappear. You felt your mouth open for him as Jack moved to pull you up and out of your seat, his strength always surprising you, and yanking you over towards him. His tongue dived into your mouth as his hands set to work on caressing every part of you.

The case was as good as closed, and Jack could hardly wait to celebrate. But for the first time, he wanted you to both release the months of pent up feelings he knew that you both harboured. Put to one side the worries about the ease in which this case was closed, and just fully enjoy one another for a little while. To indulge.

Fingers attacked buttons and buckles, and soon you were both a frantic mess of limbs eagerly trying to rid the other of their clothes. Unspoken desires were forming, and neither of you were stopping what this could potentially be. Jack’s jacket fell to the ground, and his deft fingers began working at your blouse.

At the first bit of bare flesh exposed, Jack broke your kiss with a groan, before dipping his head down to plant kisses and faint bite marks across your neck and collarbone. You leant your head back in pleasure, giving him more room to assault, enjoying the soft drag of his mouth across your skin.

Your own hands set to work, tilting your head forward to look at Jack once he had unbuttoned enough blouse to have ample skin to mark and kiss. You smiled to yourself as you watched him like a starved animal, devouring every inch of you he could reach, his hands leaving the fabric for a moment and grabbing you with such force you were almost jolted off the desk - Jack’s body being all which caged you into place.

Jack wanted to just forget everything and lose himself entirely to you. The niggling feeling of this case potentially not being entirely behind him would sit with him until he had the concrete proof in front of him, but he was tired of waiting. He was tired of his own mind holding him back from the one thing, the one person, he wanted more than anything. Coming to accept his feelings had been a hard path to traverse down, and while he definitely didn’t have all the answers yet, he wanted to start by submitting himself to you. To give you all his desire, mark you as his - it felt primal, but it felt right.

“Jack,” you breathed between fierce kisses, your hands trembling in anticipation, unable to undo his shirt any further.

“Yes, sugar?” he asked, stilling his assault on your body, his hands holding you firmly against him.

“Take me to bed,” you whispered. Truthfully, the desk wasn’t all that comfortable. But if this was to also be your first time intimate with each other, you’d be damned if it was something quick and meaningless like on top of your desk. He meant so much more to you than just a quick fuck.

Jack smirked, a wicked glare in his eye, as he scooped you up into his arms and walked you both the eight paces or so to the other side of your apartment, laying you down on the bed gently. With your blouse now gone, he pulled his shirt off over his head before laying with you, his hips slotting in between yours and his arms caging you on either side of your head.

“Your wish is my command,” he chuckled, bumping your noses together, then whispering, “Is this okay?”. You giggled, feeling like the two of you had possibly jumped the shark a little in regards to finding a boundary.

“More than okay, Jack. Are you okay though?” you asked in return. You figured that there may be something going on underlying with Jack, causing this unrest and sudden change in mood. While you didn’t mind what led him to your bed, as his partner first and foremost you needed to know. Jack nodded.

“I’m tired of waiting for the right moment. In any other world I’d have not waited until tonight to ask you to be mine, but I had to be sure. This had to be behind me first, sugar,” he caressed your cheek softly, “I hope you can forgive me?”.

“How can I forgive you, when there is nothing you need to apologise for?” you countered, an echo of the same promise you’d made to Jack when he revealed to you so much about his past as Javier. Jack grinned, leaning back in to kiss you softly, a far cry from the hurried and needy desire he had started this with.

You hated what you were about to say next, though.

“My only concern, Jack, is what if this isn’t behind us?” you asked, breaking your soft kisses. He smiled taut.

“You feel it too?” he asked, and you nodded. Jack moved to lay next to you, your legs still tangled up together, and shrugged, “Then we’ll find that out together. But for now, I want to ignore that possibility, and it just be us two. Would you care to join me?”.

You couldn’t help but grin as you nodded in response. It might have been the alcohol in your system talking, and by God this probably was neither the best decision to be making nor the right time to do so. But after months of holding out for one another, waiting to catch a break between your training schedules, your workload, and then the weeks where the two of you barely uttered a word…you were right there with Jack. You needed it to be just the two of you here, right now, without a single care in the entire world.

Jack smiled at you as he dipped his head back down low and kissed you tenderly. Your hands immediately went to his hair, the soft dark strands tangling in your fingers, begging to be touched. It was something you’d always admired about Jack, that he had such amazing hair in his late forties, and still with the majority of its colour. The deep brown, almost black locks, which never seemed to be one strand out of place…

Although this close now, between kisses, you noticed a few more strands of silver working their way through the lengths. Not that you were particularly against those, either.

“Stop looking at my greys,” Jack teased, pulling back a little so he could maneuver the two of you. Sliding his arms beneath your body, he rolled to lay on his back, pulling you on top of him. He grinned as you laughed at the movement, your body going limp in his arms as you let him pull you wherever he wanted. After all this time, you were never going to say no.

“I will when you stop staring at my chest,” you laughed, earning an eye roll from Jack.

“Sugar, I can’t even fully see your chest. I don’t know what you’re on about,” he mocked, feigning innocence. Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Oh, really?” you said, leaning up to sit back on Jack’s hips, your thighs slipping down either side of his hips to straddle him.

“Yes, sugar, I-,” Jack began, but your actions stopped him in his tracks.

He lay there and gazed up at you, so beautiful and confident, straddling his lap with only a bra covering your top half. He felt his breath catch in the back of his throat, and his cock began to stir and harden beneath his jeans, as he admired every part of you. He knew you would be able to feel it, but he was hard pressed to care.

This wasn’t objectification. This was something deeper than lust, deeper than a few hormones swilling around both your drunken minds - but you didn’t dare dwell on that. Instead you watched Jack, letting his hands wander across the expanse of your body that he could reach. The pads of his fingers caressed your back, dancing across your skin and leaving in their wake a series of goosebumps, and it was like he was memorising every inch of you.

He worked his way up, trailing his hands down your arms and caressing your hands when they met. You smiled down at him, watching as he brought one hand to his lips, and kissing your open palm softly.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispered, saying your real name as he peppered more kisses on your body - first the palm of your hand, then the inside of your wrist, stopping briefly to smell your perfume. He was forever grateful that you only ever wore one perfume, and it happened to be something he so adored. It brought him a level of comfort, as whenever the scent caught him he knew that meant you were near - somewhere he always wanted you to be.

Then his lips dragged further up, dancing across your forearm, until he had to actually sit up to go any further. You rocked your hips back as you let him adjust, resting your arm on his shoulder so that he may continue his assault.

“You’re not so bad looking yourself,” you chuckled. But this was no time for jokes - not in Jack’s mind anyway. He pressed three soft kisses to your shoulder, before pulling back to look you in the eyes. He cupped your cheek with one hand, caressing your soft skin as he spoke.

“I mean it, sugar. You’re so, so beautiful,” he said, “And I’m the luckiest man in the world for you to allow me in like this.”

His words almost brought you to tears - although that could have been the drinks from earlier to blame. You weren’t sure. But what you did know for certain that this had been such a long time coming - and you didn’t want to waste another second.

Reaching behind your back, you unclasped your bra with ease and let it slide off. Jack glanced down, his free hand grasping the material and pulling it away from your body. His breath got caught again as he gazed at your breasts, so perfect in how they fell, and just as gorgeous as the rest of you.

“Fuck,” he cursed softly, his hand now cupping your breasts and his lips leaving kisses all across your chest. You sighed in contentment as you watched Jack lose himself for a moment, allowing him the time to admire you. It gave you time, too.

Your fingers travelled across his bare back, leaving soft red lines in their path, intertwining with the years of scars he’d obtained. Some of them you recognised - others you made a note to ask about later. Even in spite of Statesman’s tech, there were some wounds that just cut too deep for even Ginger to be able to help with, or they were so old they pre-dated some of what she could use today. You traced around them, each one being unique and only adding to how handsome you found Jack.

“Like what you see?” you whispered, snapping Jack out of his minor daze and getting him to look at you. His eyes were wide and full of joy, and a soft smile on his lips complimented it.

What he wanted to say was no, he didn’t like what he saw, he loved it. But already unsure how you’d both feel about this come the morning, he felt the safest option was to nod, keeping his eyes on you as he dipped his head down and left a small mark with his lips on your breast. It wasn’t large, it barely hurt at all, but the bruise bloomed across your skin almost instantly.

“Cheeky,” you mock-scolded him, earning a deep chuckle from Jack.

“Me? Never,” he said, moving you both again so that you were back on your back. You smiled up at him, now your turn to admire his body fully as he kneeled before you.

“Liar,” you teased.

“Shut the fuck up,” he laughed now, leaning forward to kiss you softly, before a hand dipped between your bodies. He slowly began to undo your jeans, unzipping and unbuttoning them, and at that moment you cursed yourself for ever purchasing an item of clothing with so many things in the way of getting it off.

Jack clearly felt the same.

“What kinda fuckin’ jeans are these?” Jack huffed, laughing with you and resting his head against yours.

This whole ordeal was messy. It wasn’t a rom-com kind of sex scene where everything was perfect, and it all went according to plan. Nothing happened easily, but it didn’t deter you. Teeth clashed, the two of you could barely contain your laughter in some moments, and clothing was sometimes not meant to be taken off with haste. But you wouldn’t change this for the world. This was something entirely different to a rom-com; it was real. And in a job where so much of your lives had to be a fabrication, a show for someone else, and your real self could very easily get lost - you’d not trade the chance to be “you” in a moment where it mattered the most.

Moving past your ridiculous jean fastening, you undid them for Jack and let him slide the material down your legs. Not allowing for a repeat of that to happen again, he quickly hopped off the bed and took his own jeans off, letting them fall to his ankles and leaving him just standing in his boxers.

With him still standing, you took a moment to properly look at him. You’d seen him in various states of undress over the last couple of months, and even while sharing the hotel room on your mission there had been plenty of opportunities to gawk. But right now, this was a different Jack before you. You’d never seen him like this before, slightly coy but yet still pushing through it. He was clearly fighting through a lot of insecurity right now, and you wondered when the last time was that he would have laid himself bare to someone.

But that could wait for later. You outstretched an arm for Jack, beckoning him to come join you. He tentatively took your hand, but then hesitated for a beat. You furrowed your brow, wondering if he was considering stopping now - which, of course, you would completely understand.

“Is everything okay?” you asked. Jack nodded, squeezing your hand tighter.

“Yes, I-,” he cleared his throat, “I just want to make sure you really want this,” he said. You couldn’t help but smile. Even after already getting verbal confirmation from you, he was still adamant to check that you were alright. Alcohol in his system or not, Jack was always a gentleman at heart.

You nodded.

“Yes, Jack. Do you?”.

“Gods, yes. I just-,” he sighed, “Sugar, can we dim the lights? I ain’t what I used to be, and I’d like to not think about that while I fucking devour you.”

Your face went hot at his words, the idea that what he was about to do could be considered devouring, caught your breath and took it away. Your chest tightened, and you bit your lip softly, then nodded. You supposed that, in answer to the question you had earlier about how long it had been for Jack, the answer lay somewhere in the fact that he didn’t even want to look at himself now.

“Of course,” you said, only wanting him to be comfortable. Jack smiled before releasing your hand, then turned to your bedside table. There was a switch at the side which turned on a few string lights that were wrapped around the headboard of your bedframe. He turned them on, then hit the wall light switch so that the only thing now stopping you from being in darkness was the faint glow of the string lights.

He joined you back in bed before you could even ask if that was better suited for him, and his lips were on yours. You smiled against his mouth as he kissed you fiercely, the gentleness from earlier falling by the wayside, being replaced with something entirely different now. A ferality, a fire lit inside him, like he had an ache which needed medical attention.

Jack pushed his body into yours, his hips slotting between your legs with ease, your own desires allowing him total access to you now. A low grunt came from him as he gently lowered himself down onto the bed with you, wrapping his strong arms around your frame and caging you in against his chest. His hardening length rubbed against the cotton of his boxers, giving him just enough friction to drive him wild. Slowly his hips began to tilt towards yours, and at the subtle movement it brushed against your core so delectably that you cursed yourself for waiting this long to be with him.

Still keeping his lips on yours, Jack removed one hand from being wrapped around your back and allowed it to snake between your bodies. You didn’t pay much heed to its presence, letting Jack explore things at his own pace, aware that this would be the first time for both of you in a long time. It was only something that became apparent when one of his thick digits hooked the material of your underwear, and gently pulled it to one side. You gasped between kisses, your clit practically throbbing, as the tip of his finger nudged between your folds.

“Shit,” you cursed, feeling already how much slick was soaking your underwear. Jack glanced down for a beat, grinning to himself at the sight, before focusing his attention on rubbing your needy clit.

“That alright?” he whispered, and you nodded frantically, the air being knocked from your lungs as you finally succumbed to another man’s touch for the first time since moving over here to be a part of Statesman.

“Good,” Jack said, “Just tell me at any point if you want to stop, sugar.”

As if you would do such a thing, you thought. But nevertheless, you nodded fervently, giving Jack the green light to continue. And continue, he did.

Making circles on your clit, he pulled away from your lips and began peppering kisses across your body anew. Partly he wanted to explore every inch of you, but also giving your mouth freedom from his own meant that he was able to fully enjoy the harmony of moans that fell from your lips with each passing moment he worked away at your core. It was entirely selfish, his decision to stop kissing you. But by the sounds of the whines that you were making, he didn’t think you seemed to mind.

Every part of your body that he kissed felt like someone was holding a match to your skin, and seeing how long you could tolerate the heat before giving in with a moan. Every kiss was so agonisingly passionate and tender that your head felt like it might explode, and with every passing second you felt yourself needing more and more.

Jack sensed your need and desire, feeling your body writhe beneath him. Chuckling to himself, he slipped his finger down from your clit, and worked at the opening to your soaking cunt. He felt your chest tighten and your breathing hitch as he changed position, and he slowly worked in circles for a few beats, allowing you to acclimate to the sensation. But with pleading eyes meeting his, he couldn’t withhold any longer.

His finger alone pushing into you sent a shockwave of pleasure through your spine, and you wondered for a moment how you were ever expecting yourself to take any more. Another slew of moans and whimpers left you as he slowly began sliding his finger in and out of your core, curling it just right to hit exactly where you needed. But still, you wanted more; you needed him.

“Such a fucking tease,” you said, making Jack smirk. Gods, that smirk. So handsome, but so mischievous, and he knew exactly what he was up to.

“Sugar, being a tease would involve this,” he said, withdrawing himself from you entirely, and going so far as to stand up off the side of the bed to make his point. At the loss of contact you practically whimpered at the feeling of him no longer touching you, and you’d never felt so pathetic in your life. You were practically clamouring for him, reaching out in your tipsy state and urging him back to bed.

“Jack, please,” you begged, caring not for how needy you sounded. Jack virtually whined himself now at your pleas, looking down at you sitting on the bed, your eyes wide and face hot to the touch, languishing with need and desire. Fuck, there was so much he wanted to do with you. He wanted to part your soft lips and have you on your knees, his cock in your mouth and his hand in your hair. Closing his eyes momentarily he could see the vision as clear as day.

But as he looked back at you, there was something he wanted to do far more than that. Something he’d been desiring for months. His breathing quickened as he kept your gaze, your pleading eyes still looking up at him, one hand resting on his hip, your nails softly digging into his flesh. He wanted you. He needed you.

“Get your underwear off,” he commanded, stepping back again to do the same. You faltered for a moment, your eyes now focused in the faint lighting at the sight of his hardened cock springing free from his briefs. You almost gasped out loud at the sheer size of him, and you felt your mouth watering.

“Fuck, Jack-,” you began, your eyes wide as you hooked your fingers into the band of your underwear. You slid it down your legs and watched as Jack headed back over to his jacket pocket, pulling his wallet out, and removing a condom.

“Hush, sugar,” he chuckled, heading back over to the bed, joining you again and crashing your lips together. You kissed him back, your hands now wandering across his bare skin - your turn to mark your territory. Crescent moon shaped marks littered his body after your hands explored the expanse of his flesh, digging in and pulling at his body, urging him to remain close. Almost like you were scared he was going to just leave…

Jack’s body practically shuddered beneath your fingertips, a combination of how turned on he was and also the anticipation - you felt so Holy to be here with, caressing every inch of you as he kissed you tenderly, simultaneously wanting this moment to last forever while also eager to push forward. He knew this had the potential to change everything between you, and while that scared the shit out of him he also wondered if it could deliver to you both everything you’d been fighting off all these months?

“Don’t you want any favours returned?” you asked coyly, aware that he’d got you soaking wet and virtually to the brink of an orgasm already, meanwhile you’d not even touched him. Jack shook his head.

“Sugar, I won’t last one fucking minute if you do,” he chuckled, rubbing your noses together again, “And besides, this isn’t a business exchange. Let me make you feel good, please,” he said. You smiled up at him before nodding, allowing him to do as he pleased, the anticipation of it all almost being too much to bear.

“Good girl,” he grinned, his lips meeting yours again in a ruinous kiss, your lungs burning as he took what breath you had remaining away. Between fierce kisses and decisive caresses, each one deliberate and aimed to torture you, Jack maneuvered himself so that he could roll the condom down his cock. He hissed at the pressure, it being such an unfamiliar feeling to him now, but still persevering. There wasn’t a chance on this earth he was going to back down now all for a bit of discomfort.

Once it was on, he moved to cage your body beneath his, his hips dipping down to meet yours again, allowing his length to press up against your core. Every movement elicited a soft whine from you, and Jack grunted beneath his breath between kisses at each sound. It was like heaven itself was talking to him here on earth, your voice and mewls so angelic he wondered what he’d ever done to deserve such beauty.

With open mouthed kisses and ever heating skin, the tension was palpable. Teeth and tongues clashed again as you drank in each other’s presence, pressing your bodies together and refusing to let go for even a single moment.

Eventually, it became too much to bear.

“I need you, Jack,” you whispered against his lips in the brief moment you weren’t fused to him, your breathing ragged and your skin hot to the touch. Jack looked down at you, wide eyes, and nodded slowly.

“Have me. I’m all yours,” he said, before pushing his lips to yours again and repositioning himself so that he could slowly slide his cock inside of you.

The feel of Jack splitting you open was a delight you’d never known before. A mix of pain and pleasure surged through your body, your nerves on fire as he slowly pushed deeper and deeper. He was sure to go slowly to allow both of you to adjust, but nothing could have prepared him for how blissful it felt to succumb to your body.

“Oh, fuck,” Jack whimpered, his hold on you tightening as he pushed inside you further, every inch getting tighter as your bodies acclimatised to the feeling of one another. He had to still himself momentarily just to take it all in, and watch as you came undone beneath him. The way your eyes glazed over, the intimate flash of your teeth as your mouth fell open but nothing came out, the silent moans into the dead of night as you felt every part of your body give in to the pleasure. Shit, he loved it.

“I second that,” you whined, your nails digging into Jack’s arms. He smiled down at you, breath already laboured and his cheeks flushed with a warm pink hue.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Gods, yes,” you said, smiling up at Jack, caressing his cheek softly, “Never been better.”

“Good,” he grinned, then slid up onto his knees a bit more so he could reposition your hips better, “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”.

You nodded, laid back and looked up at him, your chest heaving with harboured breaths as you awaited his next move. Jack grinned, his hands now moving to grip your hips, as he tilted his own and began to slowly thrust in and out of you. At the sound of your moans to the feeling of him, he closed his eyes and just felt everything for a beat; the soft drag of your skin against his, your tight cunt gripping him, the heat of your body beneath his palms. It was almost too much to bear.

He stayed positioned like that for a while, slowly and meticulously pumping in and out of you, his hips slapping against your bare flesh. He tilted your hips back just right, pulling your lower back off the bed and onto his lap, allowing him more access to go deeper. You felt as he pushed himself to your limit, every thrust firm but never overstepping and becoming uncomfortable. His hands held your hips and he drove himself to the brink of insanity, losing himself to you in the moment, all the while your moans filled the room like a choir.

“Look at you…,” he hissed, his eyes unable to look anywhere else. He watched as your face and body contorted themselves with the surging pleasure he delivered with every thrust, your chest bouncing gently each time his hips snapped into yours.

You grinned up at Jack, forcing out a smile between the distinct lack of control you found yourself having right now. Every time he pushed himself in further you felt white prickling behind your eyes, and your core tightening. It was embarrassing how quickly you felt yourself hurtling towards the edge, but you couldn’t care less right now. You gazed up at Jack and admired him in the small moments he slowed his pace; watched how perfectly every muscle was built on his body, how every scar had a home on his skin, but how that never detracted from the powerful man that laid at the end of your bed. He’d always been attractive to you, but never in your wildest imagination did you think he’d be so…this, so perfect, in a moment of such vulnerability.

“I could say the same,” you chuckled, your hands reaching out to grab at Jack’s body, pulling him towards you, “Kiss me”.

Jack grinned as he leant down, your hips still tilted up on his lap and supported by his hand beneath your body. Using all his core strength he complied to your wishes, leaning forward and catching your lips in a kiss, but not letting up his pace for a single moment. He sighed in contentment as your moans got muffled by his kiss, and he drank in every decibel that you made.

He could tell he wasn’t going to last long. Even with the physical barrier of a condom, it had been so long since he’d indulged in a pleasure such as this that the pit of his stomach was already coiling up tighter, and his blood rushed through his body. Each flutter of your cunt pushed him closer to the end of his tether, and he gripped your body tighter the faster he went.

With his spare hand he slipped it between your bodies, and pressed his thumb against the swollen bud of your clit. A few small rubs had your lips severed from his and your head tipped back, your spine arching and a sound akin to a scream leaving you. Sliding his other hand up your back, he gripped you tight and continued his rapid pursuit of thrusting his cock in and out of you.

“I need you to cum, sugar. I won’t fuckin’ last long,” Jack grunted. He continued relentlessly, holding you so tight that he actually worried at one point you’d not be able to breathe.

If you thought you were close before, Jack’s circles over your needy clit was enough to send you hurtling to your peak. Within seconds you went from a gentle rising pleasure to everything arriving all at once. The force in which you came felt like a car crash, one violent jolt and your entire body tensed up around Jack, your cunt tightening as your walls fluttered with the shock of your orgasm. So used to the half-assed ones by your own hand that it physically pulled you up off the bed and into Jack’s arms.

He held you tight as he continued his pace, removing his thumb only when he was satisfied that you were in the throes of an orgasm. It didn’t take a genius to work that out, either. He hoped for a brief moment, before his own mind went blank to the pleasure of it all, that whoever lived in the apartments next to you was either out this evening or passed out asleep already.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he groaned, wrapping both arms around you now as he gave it his all, and began to chase his own high as you writhed around in pleasure beneath him. He was so close, it was within reach-

“Fuck!” Jack yelled as he came, his mouth reaching for your shoulder and biting down gently on your skin. You felt the gentle sucks of his mouth as he muffled his groans, his hips stuttering for a moment as he filled the condom, and silently both of you wished it were never there in the first place..

“That’s it,” you cooed, calming Jack as you ran your hands through his hair and let him take his time in calming down. You felt his cock throb between your legs, fast at first and then eventually slowing down as he came back to his own body. He panted into your shoulder, lips leaving your flesh with a gentle popping sound, showing the small bruise he’d left in his wake.

The scent of sweat and arousal filled the room in the moments after everything ended, and your body felt limp beneath his. After months of fighting what you so clearly wanted, the relief you felt having indulged was something you’d never expected. You let yourself lay back entirely, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths again, your mind barely caught up to your own body.

Jack eventually shifted his weight, sliding his cock out from you and laying by your side. Neither of you muttered a word for a few moments, almost too stunned to even contemplate what you could possibly say. There was much you wanted to say, but was that ever going to be a wise idea?

Eventually Jack moved next to you, removing and disposing of the condom swiftly, before leaning back over you and kissing you softly.

“Do you want me to get you anything, sugar? A drink, something to wear?” he asked. You smiled up at him and nodded, then slowly sat up.

“Some fresh sweats are just in my top drawer there,” you nodded over to it, and Jack immediately set to getting you some.

“Thank you,” you said as he handed you the folded clothes.

“No, thank you,” he chuckled then kissed you softly.

“Do you want anything to wear? I’ve got some sweatpants that would surely fit tucked away somewhere,” you offered.

“You want me to stay the night?” he asked, his brow softening at the subtle request. You chuckled.

“Jack, you may do as you please. But I'm neither kicking you out, nor would I be remiss if you were to stay,” you winked, shuffling to the edge of the bed to get dressed.

“Then yes please. I don’t fancy sleeping in jeans,” he chuckled.

You directed Jack to where you kept your baggier clothes, and he eventually found a pair of sweatpants that fit him well enough for the purpose of one night. The two of you got cleaned up in your small bathroom, both of you drinking ample water after your excursions this evening, and then settled back into bed. Jack swung an arm around your body and pulled you in for a cuddle.

“I’m sorry that wasn’t longer. Or,” Jack laughed to himself through his nostrils, “more adventurous.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, looking up at him.

“I’m not sure any girl dreams of her first time with someone being only missionary,” he chuckled, and you laughed with him now.

“No, I guess not. But then again, we’re hardly young anymore. And I don't know about you, but it’s been a while for me. I am more than satisfied, Jack,” you smiled softly, kissing Jack tenderly. His hands splayed out on your hand and held you close as he kissed you back, as he decided that he would open up to you about tonight..

“Six years,” he said softly as your kiss broke.

“What?” you asked, not really following.

“Six years. That’s how long it’s been since I last slept with someone. I had the reputation of being the womanizer among the team, but truthfully I’d given the whole act up years before the Golden Circle landed on our desks in 2017.”

“Did anyone know?” you asked. Jack shook his head.

“Had I told someone, anyone, I perhaps could have had some help before it all went to shit. Somebody would have realised that a change in my behaviour like that was symbolic of something far greater,” he sighed, then laughed to himself, “Geeze, I sound like Loretta now.”

“You do,” you laughed with him, “But that’s not a bad thing. She’s done you good, Jack. Everyone who knows you can see it.”

He nodded in agreement, a faint smile on his face. He knew you were right, and that he wouldn’t be half the man he was now had it not been for the hard work Loretta had put in with him over the years. He owed her his life in many ways.

“I hope that it being so long hasn’t freaked you out?” he said, and you simply shrugged as you shook your head.

“It’s easily been three years for me, Jack. If this were some lustful one night stand I’d perhaps say yeah, bit weird to break a streak of so long,” you chuckled, “But I think we can both agree this has been a long time coming?”.

“Too long,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss you softly.

“I second that, cowboy,” you smiled.

“Cowboy?!” he chuckled, “That’s it, next time you’re riding this cowboy,” Jack winked at you, pulling you in closer.

“Next time, eh?” you teased. Jack simply smiled, nodding.

“I sure hope so. Do you?”.

It was the easiest answer you could have ever given.

“I do”.