lady-writes20

A little bit of everything. She/her, somewhere in my 20s. Other blogs: @lady-writes-flanagan and @lady-writes-reyes. 18+ blog!

[lady-writes20]

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[lady-writes20]

Boardwalk Empire

Requests are currently open. More coming soon.

Gyp Rosetti Just Like Mama's

[lady-writes20]

Just Like Mama's

Pairing: Gyp Rosetti x Reader Warnings: implied intimidation/violence, toxic relationship dynamics, power imbalance, implied sexual content, alcohol, smoking, Gyp being Gyp.

A/N: This is my first fic for Boardwalk Empire, which is crazy considering how much I love that show. Gyp is such an icon; I will die on that hill.

Gif not mine, credit to the owner.

Spaghetti and meatballs were not in my wheelhouse. I made a great stew, boxty, apple cake for dessert. But Italian food? I knew nothing. My mother, God rest her soul, would die if she knew I was cooking an Italian dinner for a Sicilian man. I was lost in a world of garlic, tomatoes, and things I was certain my mother would have called unnecessary, and he was going to be there soon. He told me he had a meeting in New York, but he would be back to Tabor Heights for a shipment.

The water was boiling over. "Shit," I scoffed, turning the burner off. The sauce was burning, and I had no wine. I stood in the kitchen, surrounded by chaos and disaster, just wanting so desperately to impress Gyp.

I didn't know what it was he liked about me. I wasn't the prettiest, I wasn't the smartest, I wasn't the most personable. I was a red-headed Irish woman who moved out of Brooklyn after her mother died. But something made Gyp like me, and I liked that. No man had ever taken an interest in me like that, and it was nice. I enjoyed being spoiled. I enjoyed being told I was a good girl. I enjoyed knowing I made him feel good. Nothing else mattered.

Leaning against the stove, I lit a cigarette. "This is…horrible." I listened to the sound of boiling and splashing, and dealt with the horrid smell of burning. I was ready to throw it all out the window. I was at the end of my rope, regretting everything. Then, I heard muffled footsteps and his laughter. I had never been so happy to see the door open. "I'm so glad you're here. I don't know what I'm doing. Help me." He stared at me, confused as to what I was talking about.

"No 'hello, welcome home, Mr. Rosetti'?" he chuckled as he closed the door. "What's that smell?" he asked, scrunching his nose. He took his hat off, putting it on the hook beside the door. "Aren't you forgetting something?" he chuckled as he walked closer.

"Please," I smiled, taking a drag from my cigarette, "help me." He had crossed the room in a few strides and stood over me. Taking the cigarette from between my fingers, he took a drag and blew the smoke out. It hit my face. "Dinner is burning."

"So?" he asked. Grabbing the back of my neck, he kissed me, pressing my back against the hot stove. I didn't care about being burned. Not when he was looking at me like that.

As he moved away from me, he took off his suit jacket. I helped him slide it down his arms, carefully draping it over a chair. I knew how proud he was about his clothes. The cigarette hung between his lips as he rolled his sleeves and came back to the stove, assessing what I had going already. He looked so incredibly handsome; I felt myself losing focus entirely.

"This is done," he said, flicking the sauce off. "Been done for a while." Turning to the counter, he saw the pasta laid out and floured. "You made that?" he asked. He pointed a finger at it, and I nodded.

"I never made pasta…it's probably not great-" He cut me off.

"First time for everything," he smiled as he scooped it up and dropped it in the pot. He grabbed a spoon with one hand and butted out the cigarette with the other. He tried the sauce and turned back to me. "Good start," he nodded. He grabbed the salt and pepper, pouring them in. "Stir that." He threw in more basil, not bothering to measure it out as I had done.

I grabbed the wooden spoon and stirred, watching him grab bowls from the cabinet. "Should I turn the burner back on?" I asked him.

"No," he sighed, "it'll keep burning." I stood there, stirring, watching him move around. I had never seen a man in the kitchen, but he looked great in there. After a few minutes, he poured the boiling water down the drain and scooped the spaghetti into the bowls. "Need some of the sauce on them," he said, drying his hands on a towel.

"How much?" I asked softly as I carefully ladled the sauce out.

"Oh! That's plenty," he chuckled, hand grabbing mine to keep from adding more. "It's not soup. It's sauce."

"Sorry," I whispered.

"It's okay," he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "It's great." He kissed the top of my head and slid away from me. "Let's eat." He brought the bowls to the table, arranging them neatly. "Forks and spoons."

"Spoons? Why?" I asked, opening the drawer. "You said it's not soup."

"Do you have any wine?" he asked, ignoring me completely. "Just a little goes perfect with a red sauce."

"No," I sighed. "I couldn't find any." He was staring at me from across the small room. I swallowed hard. "I…I should have asked you, I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything for a moment. It concerned me for a moment, until he smiled his big grin. "Glad I brought some with me. Was gonna be a gift," he said. Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a bottle. I didn't know his coat could hide a bottle that size. "Fresh off the boat."

I sat down at the table as he poured the wine. I watched him while he sat down, picking up his silverware. He began spinning the spaghetti around his fork, using the spoon to hold it. "How…how are you doing that?" I asked with a little laugh, embarrassed I never had it before.

"Scoop and twirl," he said, showing me. He took a bite and chewed it slowly. I could tell he didn't like it.

"I'm sorry, Gyp, I wanted-"

"Just like Mama's," he said, cutting the meatball. I smiled, looking down at my plate. I knew he was lying to me, but hearing him say that just made me feel good. We ate quietly for a few minutes, taking sips of wine after each bite. He spoke up again, breaking that silence. "Why'd you cook all this?" he asked.

I shrugged, setting my glass back down. "I don't know, just wanted to try something new," I sighed. "Wanted to surprise you, but I ruined it."

"You didn't," he chuckled. "Next time, I'll show you how to really make a sauce."

After a moment, I said, "My mother would be devastated if she were here."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?"

"An Irish girl…cooking spaghetti," I laughed. "She wouldn't let me have an espresso."

"Wait until I parade you around Little Italy," he said softly, making it sound so sinful. "Get you all the espresso you want. Gelato too. Whatever you want." He winked at me, and I flushed immediately.

"Thank you," I giggled, going back to my dinner. He took a sip of his wine, and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. I averted my eyes before he could notice.

"My shipment should be coming in soon," he said, looking at the clock.

"Will you be coming back?" I asked, sitting up a little straighter. I wanted him to stay the night with me.

"It'll be late," he said.

"I don't mind. I want to see you tonight," I smiled.

"You're seeing me now," he whispered as he leaned forward with a smirk. "Or do you mean…?" He pointed down to my bedroom. I laughed and nodded, too embarrassed to look at him. "Maybe I will be back, teach you another thing or two."

I stood up and moved towards him. Leaning beside him, I kissed him deeply. "I'm looking forward to it." I pulled away from him, lips dragging slowly. He smirked and smacked my ass as I turned. I giggled as I spun around.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated :) More Boardwalk Empire fics to come. Keep an eye on this list. Requests are currently open as well :)

[lady-writes20]

Wondering Why

Pairing: Finan x Reader Warnings: Finan's POV; references to Finan's past (slavery, battles, family turmoil); mention of raids and being bloodied in a raid. Season 2 canon?? Tooth-rotting sweetness. Inspo: Wondering Why by The Red Clay Strays A/N: I'm so nervous and excited to post this. I haven't shared any fics in such a long time. Starting with Finan just felt right. Anyway, go easy on me.

Gif not mine, credit to the owner

She collapsed beside me, legs untangling from my waist before she settled against my side. We both panted for breath as she brushed her hair off her neck. I wrapped my arm around her, my hand gripping her shoulder. As I kissed the top of her head, I reached back for my cup of ale, knocking over my sword. I laughed softly, lifting my head to take a sip. She hummed faintly, and when I looked back, her eyes had already fallen shut.

She was Alfred's niece. Raised among kings, priests, and halls of polished oak. A life of rules, prayer, and warm meals waiting at the end of every day. I had known iron chains more intimately than silver spoons. No land to call my own. Nothing but the Roman roads beneath my boots and a sword at my hip.

We met in Wessex. She looked at me and smiled before quickly looking away, a blush warming her cheeks. To this day, I could not say why she chose to look twice.

I closed my eyes, feeling her skin on mine, and thanked God.

As I held her close, I found myself wondering the same question I had asked a hundred times before: Why?

Our home is on a small plot of land in Coccham. It didn't matter that we weren't married. It was our home together. Uhtred, Sihtric, and I had to clear a raiding party upriver. When I came home, she was sitting in the doorway, watching the river for our boat. Once we landed, I walked up the hill towards her. The moonlight danced across her face, and for a moment, I forgot every mile I'd traveled to get home to her. Everyone knew how beautiful she was. She had the eyes of an angel and a smile that could've started wars. More than once, I had to remind men that she was spoken for.

She stood up from her place and stepped towards me. Her hands cupped my cheeks, thumbs brushing the skin. "Are you alright?" she whispered.

"I'm fine," I smiled, kissing her forehead.

"You're covered in blood, Finan," she said as her hands held my sides and pulled me closer. "Come inside, get you cleaned up. I have stew cooking."

"Oh, you know I love your stew," I laughed, letting her lead me into the house.

As I rested my arm under my head, I dragged my fingers over her side gently. She hummed softly and pushed closer to me. I lifted the furs to cover her back, brushing her hair from her cheek. The question ran through my head again.

Did she not know she deserved better?

On long journeys, she would come with us, Uhtred, and the other warriors. Alfred did not like seeing her around camp, but I didn't like Alfred. It was a nice way to gloat and jest. She was in my tent, a warrior's tent, while the man who shunned her sat in his royal tent a few plots over.

We went to bargain with the Danes who had threatened war. We were gone for the better part of the day, and I was exhausted by the time we returned to camp. The conversation resulted in no change. When we rode our horses closer, we knew something had gone terribly wrong. Camp had been destroyed, raided, and burned by the Danes, whom we had just met with.

I was first off my horse, pulling my sword as I ran through the camp and towards my tent. I ran through the desecrated remains with a panic in my chest. I was screaming her name as I approached, and my heart sank when she did not speak back. I threw open the curtain and stepped inside, terrified of what I might see.

But there she was, sitting on our bed, sword in hand. Then, I saw the body on the floor. A big, ugly Dane covered in blood. Her sword was bloodied too. As I put the pieces together, she turned to me, tears in her eyes and paler than a ghost.

"Finan," she whispered, voice cracking and a sob breaking through. She stood, dropping the sword and moving towards me.

I threw my sword and grabbed her, pulling her into my chest as she sobbed. "You're alright, my love. You're alright." I kissed the top of her head, my arms holding her as she collapsed. "You're alright." I closed my eyes, letting myself breathe for the first time since we returned. She was there, and alive, and well. "You're alright," I whispered, more to myself. "Let's get you out of here."

Lying there beside her, I listened to her breathe. My fingers mindlessly drifted over her back. It was difficult to imagine life without her. Coccham would be boring and less beautiful. My bed would be cold. My heart would be joyless. I pushed the thought away as she shifted against me. Her leg slid between mine as she rotated, stomach to stomach, and her arm wrapped around me. I smiled down at her.

I began wondering, had she truly never wanted another?

When Alfred told her that he was expecting her to marry, she looked at me from across the Witan. I was beside Uhtred, hanging my head in grief at losing her. "There is an alderman in Alba whom I would like to align with," he said. I clenched my jaw, hating the idea of her being so far and with the Scots.

"No," I heard her say. I looked up at her, at how strong she stood. "Lord King, I do not wish to go to the Scots. My heart has already decided on a man…one loyal to you and England." I broke out in a sweat, and Uhtred turned to me with a smirk.

"This is your duty," Alfred said, sitting up straighter in his throne.

"I do not want that duty," she said. I was in awe as I watched her. No hesitation, no guilt, no remorse. "I renounce my claim to the crown."

"Jesus," I breathed.

"You what?" Lady Aelswith exclaimed.

"I renounce my claim to the crown, and in this court, along with my rights as a lady of Wessex." We were all bewildered. She looked at me, grinning from ear to ear. I had no idea she was planning this.

"Bastard," Uhtred laughed, nudging me with his elbow. "I wasn't aware someone could renounce everything for an arseling."

I caught Alfred's eye and thought better of saying anything. I had already disrupted his plans; best not to rub salt in the wound.

"I could have you both executed for treason," he said while he looked at me. I stood up a little straighter, trying to prepare in case I needed to fight my way out with her.

"You will not, Lord King. You will let us go amicably. I do not ask you for anything," she said. Alfred turned to Steapa and waved a hand. The huge man took a step back, and I allowed my shoulders to relax. "Thank you, Lord King."

Her palm pressed against my stomach, as if testing to see if I were still there beside her. I took a breath, taking in the scent of her. It wound around me, enrapturing me. She smelled like a winter's morning and was as sweet as the berries she had harvested. It was a smell I never wanted to lose.

Had God simply taken pity on an Irish fool?

Uhtred led a band of warriors to Lundene to protect the traders. Sihtric and I rode alongside him as we normally did, telling stories and jokes to pass the time. When we reached the crumbling city, Sihtric was immediately pulled into the alehouse by one of the Mercian whores. I laughed as I walked by, staying beside Uhtred.

"You should bring a gift home," he advised.

"I should what?" I asked, confused by the notion.

He laughed a hearty laugh. "If I do not bring Gisela a gift in the form of silver, jewels, or spices, she will not let me hump her for a week." I looked at him, hoping he said this in jest. "Find something to give to your woman, and thank me later."

I spent the rest of the day speaking with traders about their wares and what would be a good gift for a princess. They laughed, thinking I was lying through my arse, but suddenly stopped when they saw how serious I was. It all seemed hopeless as Uhtred began to tell the servants to ready the horses.

Then, I saw an old woman sitting beside a dying fire. She had a small, dark brown box placed on the log next to her. As I walked over, I hoped I wasn't disturbing her. "Excuse me," I said. She snapped up to look at me, clearly sleeping. "I'm sorry to disturb you. I was wondering what was in that box you're selling."

"Oh," she laughed, wrinkles creasing. "This old thing! I'll show you." She struggled to pry the box open. Inside, rows and rows of silver rings and armrings. "These have come from far away. I have traded with many traders for this collection. Some from the Mediterranean Sea, and some from the Silk Road."

"The Silk Road?" I said, shocked.

"Oh, aye. I met a man who sold me a ring he had traded with a man from a place called Asia. Another man traded me an armring he had bought from someone called a Moor." I stared at her, wondering if these were tall tales she was telling me. "Would you like to trade for one?" she asked.

"I would, aye, something fit for a princess," I nodded. I sat on the ground beside her. "I don't have much to trade for. I have some silver, some rings, and armrings of my own."

"Fit for a princess?" she laughed. "Are you a king?"

"No," I chuckled. "A warrior. Back home, they call me 'Finan the Agile' for how I dance with my blade."

"Well, Finan the Agile," she said as she looked through the box. "I will give you this ring for your princess for that dagger in your belt."

"Aye," I said, pulling my dagger out. I could get another.

"This ring…" She held it up between two fingers. I stared down at it, studying it. It was silver with knots and braids along it and a purple jewel in the center. "…came from Frankia. The story is that Charles the Bald had it forged for a woman he hoped to marry. She was promised to another. In his grief, he threw the ring into a crowd, and it has been traded ever since."

I looked at her, turning my head slightly. "How do you know this?" I asked.

"The gods speak to me about all of the objects I acquire," she said with a smile.

"Hmm," I said, doubting her ability to speak with the gods. It was a beautiful sight, whether the story was true or simply that. "And you want only a dagger for it?"

"Yes, lord," she nodded. I handed her the dagger, and she placed the ring in my palm. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Thank you very much," I smiled, looking at the ring. "You've saved me a lot of grief."

As I walked back to the men, I slid the ring over my smallest finger. I could not wait to return to my little piece of heaven and see her.

The moon was bright in the sky, cascading shadows over the bed from the window. I did wish sleep would take me. There was too much on my mind for it to rest. But there she lay, perfectly content and dreaming, beside me.

In my life, I would change nothing if I could do it all again. I'd be forced into chains and led to her. I'd lose everything in Ireland and have her renounce her riches for me. I'd swear an oath to Uhtred and be fortunate to be in the same city at the same time as her. As Uhtred says, it was fate that brought me to her, and her to me.

She was perfection. She was beautiful and clever. Kind, yet stronger than most men I knew. Fiercely loyal, endlessly understanding. What did she ever see in me?

When we rode back into Coccham, I jumped off my horse and barely tied him to the post. She must have heard the horses before she'd seen us. Before I knew it, I heard running footsteps. I turned and saw her, smiling widely and holding the bottom of her skirts as she ran.

"Finan!" she squealed, leaping into my arms. I laughed and caught her, stumbling back. She was kissing me, holding my cheeks, and not caring if I dropped her. "I missed you," she said, with a certain need in her voice.

"I've only been gone a day," I laughed.

"And I missed you through it," she smiled. I set her back on her feet. She pulled me back into another kiss, earning whistles from Sihtric.

"Let's go home. We don't need an audience," I chuckled as I glared at my greatest friend.

We walked, hand in hand, and she told me about her day. She went to church, then did the washing. She bathed in the secluded part of the river and froze when she got out. The fire in the hearth nearly burned the house down, she said.

When we went inside, I noticed how clean it looked. It appeared she spent most of the day cleaning. "It looks great in here," I said, taking my belt off.

"Do you want something to eat?" she asked. "I got ale, and bread and cheese today."

"I can get it," I smiled, pushing her to the table. "You just sit. You had a long day."

"Yes, but I didn't travel on horseback," she argued as I sat her down.

"Don't matter." I kissed the top of her head and went to get the pitcher of ale. "I got you something in Lundene."

"What?" she gasped, turning to face me.

"I saw it, and I thought of you," I said, only partially lying. "Close your eyes." She smirked wickedly, then closed her eyes. I set the pitcher down in front of her and grabbed her hand. I carefully placed the ring into her palm. "There."

She looked down at her hand, and her face softened. "Oh, Finan…" she whispered. "This is beautiful." She was speechless. Holding it between her fingers, she looked at it more closely. "Thank you."

"A beautiful ring for a beautiful woman," I smiled, leaning forward to kiss her gently. She slipped it over her finger and smiled down at it. "You're happy with it?" I asked as I sat down.

"You could have brought me a lump of coal, and I would've been happy with it," she said as she stood. She settled into my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist. My hands instinctively found her waist. "You thought of me while you were gone," she said, almost breathlessly. "That is gift enough."

We moved to the bed shortly after. Before long, she was asleep beside me, her head resting against my chest. She left me awake with my thoughts of her, wondering what she was doing with the likes of me.

"Go to sleep, Finan," she mumbled. She kissed my chest gently before setting her head down once more.

"I cannot," I whispered. I brushed her hair from her cheek and stroked my fingers over the soft skin.

"Are you thinking of the battle again?" she asked.

"Something like that," I huffed.

She rolled off of me and leaned on her elbows. Reaching up, she pushed her fingers into my hair, her thumb brushing against my forehead. "I would love to know what's going on in that head of yours," she whispered.

"You," I said softly. "It's always…you." She laughed, tucking her arm back around her. "Why do you love me?" I asked her blatantly.

"What isn't there to love?" she asked, unfazed by the question. She moved closer to me, kissing me gently. "You are kind, and funny, and strong, and you protect me. You love me. You make me so happy."

"You gave up everything for me," I said. "I can't give you a yard of land, or pieces of silver."

"That doesn't matter, Finan. If I wanted that…I would have gone to Alba," she said. She was sitting now, nakedness visible only to me. The back of her hand stroked my cheek, the rings cold on my skin. "I want you, Finan. So believe that." She laughed, smiling widely as she leaned forward to kiss me. My hand went instinctively to her back, pulling her closer.

"I'll never believe it," I whispered, lips still touching hers. "You…deserved a prince, and I'm far from it." I kissed her again, pulling her on top of me. "I'll keep on wondering why."

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated :) If you are interested in more stories from The Last Kingdom, check out this list. Requests are currently open as well :)

[lady-writes20]

Hey, yall.

Hope this post finds you well.

It's been a while since I last posted. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up (if anyone is even still following my page) that I'm going to be archiving a few fics in the coming days, but I'm going to start posting again. If I delete one of your favorites, I am sorry and I hope you don't take it personally.

In the time I've been gone, I've still been writing, just not posting. Work and life obligations have been getting in the way of it all, and I'm eager to share again. I would like to say that my writing has improved, but of course I'm a bit biased. I've been trying new styles of writing, along with writing for new fandoms. Overall, I believe there have been some improvements.

Because of the amount of time that's gone by, I don't know if I should follow the taglists I have set up. I may not, maybe I'll throw tags in the comment section. If I tag you and you don't want to be tagged, or if I don't tag you and you would like to be, please let me know. Message or comment, whatever works for you. I will not be offended either way.

I suppose this is longer than I wanted originally. Sorry about that.

TLDR: I'm back.

Best wishes and warmest regards,

lady-writes20

[milescrypt]

Monthly Recommendations

March 2026, s-series, o-oneshots

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Maekar Targaryen / Baelor Targaryen

Old Man: Oh thats crazy. o @thegentleswan

The Dragon Princes' Wife: We could never do this without you. s @julez-5

HARRY POTTER

Fred Weasely

Rule #1: I can’t do this to her, I can’t. o @maria021015

Biceps: Ooh la,la,la. o @maria021015

JACK O’CONNELL

Sir Jimmy Crystal

Love can kill if it ever so pleases: Obsession or love? o @youngeagleavenue

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Ron Slater

Smoke: Smoke your blunt, then smoke me. o @loriiisstuff

[UNAMED]: Have you wrapped around my finger like your blunt. o @emlee81

Love Hurts: Sugar on a wound. o @lady-writes20

Randall 'Pink' Floyd

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Seniors: You can drive me wherever you want to. o @seventiesaces

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Friday Night: Challenge(rs). o @prettyyoungandbored

UMBRELLA ACADEMY

Five Hargreeves

Damn Brisket Five: I found a better version of yourself. o @merthosus

Finest of Betrayal: How could you do that to me? Willingly? o @4738-4738

BREAKING BAD

Jesse Pinkman

The Pain of Words: You don't mean that, do you? o @dreamygirl19

PEACEMAKER

Adrian Chase

The Evergreen Public Library: Barter, I'll protect you, and you'll love me. s @vigilantexreader

MARVEL

James Bucky Barnes

Newspaper Club: Being stuck with you isn't really all that bad huh. o @amoremarveloustime

Anaesthesia Haze: Please wake up. o @w1nter-fairy

Tony Stark

3:42AM: I love you, but go back to sleep. o @ninihunt

THE BEAR

Richie Jerimovich

I see you: Your brothers are going to hate me for this. o @brunettemarionette

[lady-writes20]

Thank you for including me in your recs!! 🥰

[lalo-tellmeagain]

We will make time 😏

[seviippyong]

5×5 BAE BAE

[gdyb]

One of many reasons why I love Choi Seunghyun.

[socialistseunghyun]

my favourite weirdo 

[caribbean1989]

Choi Seung-hyun / T.O.P. as Thanos in Squid Game season 2

My GIF masterlist

[pedrospascaled]

SEVERANCE S02E09 - The After Hours

[wcnderlnds]

[wcnderlnds]

last dance [part two] | choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)

・❥・ summary: weeks after the breakup and you're miserable without seunghyun but maybe a bigbang concert will make you feel better ・❥・word count: 2k ・❥・warnings: angst and fluff!! ・❥・ authors note: finally part two!! i'm sorry it took me so long. i've been going through a major depression patch lately but i'm slowly trying to get back into writing. hopefully you enjoy <3

PART ONE

The weeks seemed to pass by slower without Seunghyun. Time felt like it was torturing you, making you suffer for letting him go so easily. Waking up everyday and turning around to see the empty spot in your bed was one of the most heart wrenching things you’d ever experienced. Usually, you’d turn around and wake up to his smiling face or, if he’d had an early wake up call, he’d tell you to text him when you woke up so he could order you food. Mornings felt empty without him; the whole day felt empty, actually. There was a massive void in your life but it was one you were going to have to get used to. You both wanted different things and as much as you wanted to be with him, you couldn’t be. He didn’t want the things that you did – in the end, it was for the best. Right now, though, it hurt like hell.

It didn’t help that Seunghyun had left you a drunken voicemail just days ago. Since the goodbye in the back of the car, you’d pretty much had no contact apart from when he’d come to collect some of his things. All you knew right now was that he was staying with Jiyong, leaving the house that you had shared together to you. He was on a night out with the guys when he’d called you. It had taken several missed calls from him – each time you had been tempted to answer – before he left that one drunk message that you had replayed almost every single day since.

“Hey, baby, hey. So, this break-up? Stupid. So stupid. I love you so much. Like, I can’t think of anything but you and, shit, fuck it, I’d go out and buy an engagement ring right now and propose to you if I could but… baby, I miss you. I miss you so much it physically hurts. I can’t sleep, I don’t want to do anything and I know this is my fault. It’s my stupid fault because I can’t be the man that you need. I love you. I will always love you. My heart is yours forever…”

He must have got cut off at the end because before he could say anything else, the phone was hung up. Each time you listened to it, your heart beat a little bit faster. The sincerity in his voice made your head spin, the way his voice had broken each time he said he loved you. All you wanted to do was run to him, wrap your arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. At this point you were sure a hug from Choi Seung-Hyun would heal you. It had before and it would again. Except, now you couldn’t. That was the thing that hurt the most. Not only had he been the love of your life, he was also your best friend so now you had to grieve that, too.

Things weren’t okay but, eventually, they would be.

*****

Today was the day you’d been dreading. There was a BigBang concert that you’d tried your hardest to get out of attending but Youngbae had been persistent. It would be nice to get out of the house at least. Maybe some fresh air could clear your mind. All you had to do was try and avoid your ex. Easy, right?

Nope, not at all because of course he was the first person you saw when you were trying to get backstage. For some reason the stupid security guard wouldn’t let you through even though you had your pass – which Youngbae had given you – visible for all to see. As you stood there arguing with the security, being very adamant that you were on the list to be here, a flash of pink hair popped up beside the guard. Your breath caught in your throat – it was the first time seeing him for weeks and he was still as breathtaking as ever. You cut yourself off mid sentence, not really registering what was happening but Seunghyun must have said something to the security because before you knew it he was stepping aside to let you in. 

All you could do was stand and stare at your ex-boyfriend; the love of your life. There he was right in front of you, a frown on his beautiful face. Knowing him better than anyone meant that you could tell he was miserable. Most people wouldn't see it but it was all over his face. It was hard to fight the urge to throw yourself at him and wrap your arms around him.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. There was no way you could look into those deep brown eyes of his and not crumble.

Seunghyun was about to speak but before he could, Jiyong rolled up, noticing the awkward tension. You had never been more thankful for him. If he hadn’t shown up surely you would have embarrassed yourself. “Seunghyun, Daesung wanted to talk to you. He’s in the dressing room.”

Seunghyun looked at you like he wanted to say something to you but decided against it, heading off down the hallway to talk to Daesung. Jiyong pulled you in for a hug and finally you relaxed. Jiyong was one of the people you felt the most comfortable with – the whole band was. It was a very much needed hug but in the back of your mind you couldn’t help but think that it was the wrong person giving you it.

“Thanks. I was probably two seconds away from making a dumb decision,” you laughed sadly, pulling away from your friend.

“Yeah, he probably was, too. He’ll be pissed when he realises Daesung didn’t actually want to talk to him but he’ll live,” he threw his arm around your shoulder, leading you down the hallway. “Happy you’re here. Youngbae worked his butt off to get you here. We miss you.”

“I miss you all, too. It’s just… awkward. I don’t want to make things weird by being around all the time. Seunghyun needs you.”

“You need us, too. We can be there for the both of you.”

“Yeah but… I just need you to make sure he’s okay, you know? We both know that he gets in his head and I don’t want him to spiral.” You looked at Jiyong with pleading eyes. All you ever wanted for Seunghyun was for him to be happy. You knew how much he struggled and got in his own head. He had always been so sensitive to the world, so attune to his own feelings and often got lost in them. He needed the support more than you did. You would be fine on your own.

“I know, don’t worry. We’ll make sure he’s okay,” he gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I promise.”

*****

The show went off without a hitch. The boys were amazing as usual. There was no doubt in your mind that they deserved all the success they had and so much more. Every show they put their all into, giving their fans everything they had. It often resulted in exhaustion but you knew none of them cared. As long as their fans went home happy, that was what mattered. Putting smiles on people’s faces was their main goal and they definitely did that. Hearing all the screams and cheers made your heart soar; it definitely lifted your mood until reality came crashing back down.

After the show you knew the guys usually went for a bite to eat before heading back to their hotel rooms. So, you’d decided to sneak out making a mental note to send texts to Youngbae, Daesung and Jiyong later. You just couldn’t bear to face Seunghyun let alone sit and have dinner with the four of them. The tension between you and him would bring the mood down and they deserved to ride their high for as long as they could. With your jacket firmly on, you headed towards the back door to head out but you were stopped when slender fingers wrapped gently around your wrist. As you turned you came face to face with Seunghyun. His hair was a mess from the show, sweat dripping down his forehead. He must have literally ran right off the stage to catch you. His touch was making your heart beat faster, memories of the goodbye in the car came flooding back to you. It was like there was no coherent thought in your head right now as he looked at you with determined eyes.

“Don’t leave. Not yet. I… I need to say something,” he rushed, still holding onto you as if scared you’d run the second he let you go.

“Seunghyun…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. It was all you could say. If you dared speak more, you’d be a blubbering mess.

“If you stop me, I won’t say it and I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to again so… please just listen.” He paused, letting you nod your head before he continued. “I love you. I love you so much that it’s killing me to be apart from you. I don’t know how to get through the day without you and it’s made me realise that… I don’t want to. I want you by my side every single day for the rest of my life. I was stupid, okay? I was so, so, so stupid. I want you and I want a future with you. You’re going to think I’m crazy and… I definitely am but…”

In one swift motion, he dropped down to one knee, fishing out a small box from the pocket of the pants he was wearing. He opened it up to reveal a diamond ring, the box shaking slightly as he held it showing you how nervous he was to do this. “Marry me?”

Shock consumed you. Words couldn’t leave your lips but as you looked down at his pleading eyes you knew right then and there that he meant it. Seunghyun wore his heart on his sleeve especially when it came to you. “I….do you mean it? I-I thought you didn’t…”

“I mean it. I really fucking mean it.” It was the determination in his voice that sold you. “I’m terrified, I won’t lie but I can’t lose you. I need you.”

“...yes, I’ll marry you.” You breathed out, pulling him up to his feet to kiss him softly on the lips. God, it felt so good to do that after all these weeks. It was like all the tension was leaving your body, your heart finally being where it needed to be – with him. “I’m scared, too. We don’t have to get married right away, okay? We can wait for as long as we want. Just knowing that you see a future with us is all I need. That’s all I wanted.”

He smiled, sliding the ring onto your finger, holding it up so he could look at it. “I did good.”

“Yeah, okay,” you rolled your eyes, playfully slapping him on the chest. “I missed you. Guess you weren’t lying about buying an engagement ring in that drunken voicemail, huh?”

His cheeks tinted red as he remembered the message. “Well, you know what they say. Drunk thoughts are sober words or whatever. Missed you more, though,” he sighed, his hand cupping your face, gazing lovingly at you. His lips met yours in another slow, passionate kiss. His thumb rubbing softly against your cheek as he tilted your head to deepen the kiss. You were almost certain he was about to back you up against the wall and give everyone a show until you were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

Pulling away, you turned to see Daesung, Youngbae and Jiyong standing there. Jiyong raised a brow, a knowing smirk on his face. “Can we go get food now or are you going to stand here trying to eat each other's faces?”

taglist (ask to be added!): @ldydeath @justsisse @infinetlyforgotten @sherrayyyyy @come-as-you-are-111 @maskedcrawford

[lady-writes20]

[wcnderlnds]

scared of loving you | choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)

・❥・ summary: spending valentines day with your best friend/roommate is the norm but this year ends a little differently ・❥・word count: 1.2k ・❥・warnings: alcohol mention but that's about it ・❥・ authors note: happy valentine's day!! here's some tooth rotting fluff to celebrate <3

Valentine’s Day always seemed to come around so fast. People always seemed so excited for it, always on the search to find someone to spend it with. It was nice in a way that it spurred people to put in the effort but it had never been a day you looked forward to. It wasn’t that you didn’t like – you did but after one bad Valentine’s as a teenager, you never really cared. It was just like any other normal day. One that you would spend at home sat in front of the TV eating as many snacks as you could get your hands on. 

Love was great, amazing even but you had never experienced it properly. It was like you had closed yourself off from it which was ridiculous because you loved love. Or what you knew of it anyway. People told you it could be one of the best and worst things you could ever experience. Having someone that cared for you no matter what? Amazing but putting all your trust in them only to have them break your heart? Not so great. Maybe it was best you hadn’t experienced it because then that way you didn’t have to get hurt. 

The sound of the TV echoed through the walls of the apartment, your feet tucked underneath you as you rested on the couch, some cheesy Hallmark movie playing. If anyone asked, you’d say you liked to laugh at them but the reality was you always seemed to get invested in them. The stories they told (albeit some of the corniest to exist) were cute. Never in a million years would they happen to anyone but it was nice to dream. 

Popping a piece of popcorn into your mouth, a loud yawn was heard from the doorway which could only mean one thing. Seunghyun – your roommate and best friend of the last ten years – had finally woke up. Yesterday had been a busy press day for him so he’d spent most of the day sleeping. You knew better than to wake up a sleeping Seunghyun so you left him to it. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him padding into the room, throwing himself down on the couch next to you. 

“Not got a hot date today?” He asked, reaching over to steal some popcorn from the bowl you were cradling. You slapped his hand away much to his dismay. 

“You ask me that every year and my answer is always no. You know I never do anything today,” you shrugged, watching as he made a move again to grab some popcorn. Giving in, you placed the bowl on the small coffee table in front of you. 

“Yeah, and? One day you are going to have a hot date and I’ll be all alone.” 

“You go find a hot date.” 

“Why do I need to when I’ve got a pyjama princess right here?” He teased, raising his brows at you as he finally popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth.  

It was hard to stop the blush creeping on to your face. Seunghyun always did this. Through the whole time you’d known him, he always flirted with resulting in you blushing each and every time. He was the only person who could ever manage that feat, something he knew and used to his advantage. Your eyes looked down at the pyjama’s you were wearing, shrugging your shoulders. He was the only person you would ever feel comfortable wearing them around. With Seunghyun, you had no worries. There was no fear of him judging you, it was nice to feel like you could be completely yourself. He allowed you the safe space you had always wanted. It was one of the many reasons he was your favourite person to be around. It was also a massive bonus that he was extremely handsome. Maybe even the most handsome person you’d laid eyes on. You had told him so one night when you were drunk and he’d never let you live it down. 

“Wanna order pizza and watch these stupid movies with me?” You asked, smiling over at him. You might not have had a date but you had your best friend. That was all you needed. 

“Guess I can suffer through these stupid movies for you.” 

It was a few hours later, half eaten pizza on the coffee table, an empty bottle of wine on the floor as the two of you sat laughing watching yet another cheesy movie. The wine in the glass you were holding almost spilled out over the edge onto the carpet but you didn’t care. You were having too much of a good time. Seunghyun was sat right beside you, your head on his shoulder as you lazily grinned at the TV screen. His arm was around your shoulder, his fingers twirling a piece of your hair around his finger. It was the first time in a long time you felt content, curled up beside your best friend. 

But, he was more than just a best friend, wasn’t he? 

There had always been a hint of something more, something deeper between you and Seunghyun. There was a reason that for the last ten years the two of you had spent Valentine’s Day together, why you’d much rather be lazing around with him than going out and actually finding someone. There was a reason he made you laugh harder than anyone else, why your stomach would always do flips when he smiled at you. 

It was a terrifying realisation. Was this actually what being in love felt like? If it was, you weren’t sure if you ever wanted it to stop. The feeling of contentment, of feeling so... cared for and appreciated – it was everything. 

Seunghyun’s cheek rested on the top of your head, the domesticity of the moment making your heart pound. As if sensing you were lost in your thoughts, he decided to speak up, his voice softer than normal. “What’s going on in that head of yours, princess?” 

The silly little nickname he often gave you made you feel dizzy, the corners of your mouth twitching up into a silly little smile. Your free hand rested on his thigh, the contact sending Seunghyun into a frenzy much to your obliviousness. “Thinkin’ about how I think I might be in love for the first time.” 

“Oh yeah?” He lifted his head up to look at you, taking your glass and placing it on the table. “Who’s the lucky person?” 

You could hear the hope in his voice, the way his fingers gently brushed against your cheek now. You met his dark eyes, the gentleness of your voice almost taking him back. “I think you already know.” 

There was no hesitation as his hand rested on the back of your neck, leaning down to press his lips against yours in a kiss. All the hidden feelings finally getting their release. Your hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer to you as his hand tangled in your hair. It had started off slow, gentle but soon turned passionate. Your head cloudy as the feeling of his lips moved against yours in perfect harmony. It was very reluctantly that he pulled away, his breath heavy as he rested his forehead against yours. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he breathed, barely giving you a chance to reply before his lips were back on yours. 

Maybe Valentines Day wasn’t so bad after all. 

taglist: @ldydeath @infinetlyforgotten @justsisse @sherrayyyyy @come-as-you-are-111 @maskedcrawford

[lady-writes20]

[brainstewmp3]

"Give me a fucking break, one minute left. One minute fucking left. You’re gonna give me fucking one minute? Look at that fucking sign right there, one minute! Let me fucking tell you something, let me tell you something, I’ve been around since fucking nineteen eighty fucking eight, and you’re gonna give me one fucking minute?! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! You're fucking kidding me! What the fuck!? I’m not fucking Justin Bieber, you motherfuckers! You gotta be fucking joking, this is a fucking joke. I got one minute, one minute left. Oh now I got nothing left, now I got nothing left. Let me show you what one fucking minute fucking means!"

[lady-writes20]

The fact I read this in his voice...I've watched that video too many times

[fluencca]

I love how Eliot's borderline-paranoid ass went,

Gunshots somewhere in the city + Nate isn't directly in my line of sight → ergo Nate is definitely in trouble and being shot at

and yeah he's right