Miss Jane

It's all garbage darling, every last thing.. 🚬

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

I’m just tired of holding it inside. I release this from my whole self.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

Your life I watch behind fuzzy glass,

With a mouth that tastes like brass.

I don’t know how not to wonder

If all of this is just a blunder.

Everlasting love,

Fig branch from a dove.

Have you given thought to what you say?

In the texts you read every day?

Keep telling pretty little lies,

I’ll keep watch as our love dies.

[trapcard]

she snapped

[imawitchywitch]

Barbie hasn’t snapped, she’s a feminist yo and she’s educating young girls

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

Barbie. You go girl. God damn god damn!

[writingsofautumn-blog]

Don’t fall in love with me. I’ll kiss you in public until our tongues tangle and the police will have to arrest us for being too vulgar. I’ll make inappropriate jokes and I can be loud enough to get us kicked out of the mall. I won’t wake up early in the morning just to get breakfast with you. I won’t comfort you at 2am during the rain—I am the storm. I won’t really chase after you the way you want me to because I don’t give a single fuck about our conflicts. I don’t want small talk—I want the universe as a topic. Don’t fall in love with me, because I’m drowning in the sea of anxiety and even the sea monsters have learned how to stay away at the scent of my blood. I won’t be like sugar beneath your lips—I’ll be the salt in your open wounds. I’ll be the flowers growing from your ribcage but with thorns— beautiful but it’s gonna be painful with every single move you’d make. I’ll be at your doorstep at night begging you to stay when you grow tired of me, but I’ll see you like a tree house where I can live in for days without wishing for the solid ground, but still I’d leave you hanging from that tree when I get bored of you. You’ll wake up every morning to the scent of flowers and the sea, and I will capture you like a moth to flames until the scorching heat burn your skin. I’m a monster with a devilish grin, so don’t fall in love with me, you don’t know what you’re getting into. (g.t.) artwork by Chiara Bautista

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

But I did fall for you. In every way imaginable.

[mii701]

[mynameis1989]

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

Walk on by.

How am I supposed to just forget everything as I see you walk by?

How my privacy was yanked from my fingertips as you sent in the proof.

The proof of something that never needed to be shared.

Conversations between lovers in which you shouldn’t have cared.

And so now I’m on the outside looking in.

But it doesn’t feel like the outside when I’m walking by.

You strut w/your ideals so puffed up and proud.

I will never forget, yet I will watch you walk by.

As I have grown to weary to care.

And too bitter to be aware.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

It's me.

Maybe it's true. I'm such a pyro that I burn bridges without really thinking. I'm blocked. And that hurts. I'm torn between what I should feel. I know it is what it is.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

If only you knew.. How sad this world makes me. How many nights anxiety keeps me. The millions of times I hide my tears. I wish I could explain, how hard I feel. It doesn't make sense when I feel things outside of who I am. It's bigger than me. No one can see. I'm dying because the world is cold. And I'm the fairy no one believes in.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

Choose

Choices are literally the mandala of life. No matter what you choose its always going to be different. We all get desperate. I’m sure we have all had moments that brought us to our knees .. But then again maybe there are some who don’t.

The truth is you have to live with the fucking choices that you make. There is no pass go and collect $200 it’s this and that’s it. If you fucked up own it. If you feel like a fuck up them just own it. I can’t say anyone knows the answers. There’s too many religions and self help books to know what’s true.

All I know is that these choices that you make. Even just the little ones like who you decide to grab a coffee with.. They make a difference.

Strings. We are all just playing with strings.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

Early rising

I was mad at the birds this morning.. To be fair, it wasn't just the birds. I was tired, I'm always tired. I couldn't handle my boyfriends snoring. I usually do fine, earplugs in and the Zs start rolling. But I guess today was different. It's a regular Saturday. I just have a lot in my head right now. I'm nervous about seeing people who think I'm capable of horrible things. I'm tired from having to worry about that constantly. It makes me question who I am and I simply hate it. All I've learned is that your brain is fucking complicated. I mean, really complicated. I'm still struggling with PTSD. It has really fucked things up. My dreams feel real, however this morning I can't seem to remember my dreams. Odd, what is with today? I guess I'm just mad about feeling stuck with no purpose. I just don't know which road to take, so I just sit and wait... I guess. I feel like life is just an awful lot of waiting around. The mundane is pure torture when your eyes don't see what they were told to see..

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

I can’t be bought, and I won’t be sold. I’m the only owner of this god damned soul.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

I realize I'm on the outside looking in But I used to be inside looking out Why can't I remember what it's like? I used to waste away wishing my world would change But now it did and I'm still looking in Is there even an outside? I'm getting so confused I'm lost in emotions In endless translation Maybe I'm already losing my mind It could be too late. But we'll see. We'll see I say. Who knows how to act anymore.

[ladyl0velyl0cks]

I've forgotten what it feels like to feel safe inside my soul.