reblog if you believe fanfics are as valid as books that were published and sold by authors who write as their main careers. I'm trying to prove a point
It's almost that time of year! We're gearing up for the holiday season and are looking for help! If you're interested in joining our event team, please follow the steps below!
Must be 18+.
Must be a bts content creator.
Must be active online.
Must have a discord account to join our event server.
Follow this blog.
Reblog this event team post.
Send in your application via our submit box.
If you have any questions relating to the event, how it runs, etc. please do not hesitate to reach out via our ask box, by messaging this event blog, or by messaging Head Elf Raven @shadowkoo. Thank you!
(Please note that this is not how you sign up for the event, applications for participants open Nov 1. Check back then!)
Sometimes I stare at the computer screen when the words don’t want to come and I think, “Fuck, who am I kidding? This is terrible writing, and this story is shit, and no one cares, anyway.“ And I close the window and go do something else.
But every now and then I get an amazing, heartfelt, beautiful comment from someone who loved something I wrote, and it reminds me that, at least for that one person, I did write something worthwhile. And so I open the window again and I write one sentence, and then another, and then I start to find my way again.
So on behalf of all fanfic writers everywhere, I want to say thank you, thank you so much, to all of the readers who take the time to leave a comment and tell us that something we wrote mattered to you, that it brightened your day or made you laugh or cry or get horny or whatever.
Please don’t think we’re ever bothered by your comment, or that we don’t want to hear it, or that what you have to say isn’t important enough. It means so, so much. And on some days, it’s what keeps us going.
(answer privately) hi it's admin val from bts dream court! since your messages are private i am unable to send you the link to join our nightmares of mystic manor project server (the event you've signed up for), would you please dm me so i can send it to you, thanks!!
Description: Although Min Yoongi was the love of your life he never seemed much interested in your relationship. Some day you decided you didn’t want it anymore. But destiny has its own words over your life.
Disclaimer: Thanks for your patience! It took me a lot of time in finishing and editing this chapter. I enjoyed writing and reading it a lot, so I hope you enjoy it. SPOILER: y/n and Yoongi finally...
Masterlist
<– Previous - Next –>
================
You didn't know how long you were with the finger over the send button. You read the message written over a ten times. Yoongi was you only option but there were so many contras. First, you didn't know if he would be able to spend many hours with Rosie at night. Surely she will be sleepy but what happen if she refused going to bed without you? You needed have a bed only for she urgently.
Second, though you avoided to think about, it was the "other night incident". It was about a week since Yoongi left your apartment after both of you made it out in your kitchen and your communication was restricted only to exchange messages about Rosie and some photos from her. Asking him babysitting her would be a big step you didn't know if you would take. Or maybe it was fear about he refusing your call in. There were a lot of things that, in your imagination, he surely had to do that night.
But you ran out of options. The Saturday Night Sale was the biggest event of the semester and you couldn’t not to go. Also Jungkook would be there because his illustrations were such a success and that night he'd brought some to sell in advance exclusively for the event. The problem was that your "thing" with Yoongi had occupied your mind the last days and you forgot about the date absolutely.
With a twitch in your guts your finally pressed send. You were seating in the couch of your apartment when your phone vibrated a couple of times. Yoongi's answer was quick and simple:
[Yoongi]: Of course I can!
[Yoongi]: Let me know what time I have to be in your apartment.
[Yoongi]: Can I brought hot chocolate?
You couldn't help but smiled with the last question. He, who at the beginning complained for the amount of sugar that the girl ate, was thinking in spoiled her with some treats.
****
Jess was kinda obssesed last days trying to find out who was the woman that took Yoongi from her. She was surpised with herself with this mania, because she didn't Yoongi back. She only needed to realize why that girl was better, at least to the ex boyfriend's eyes. The true was her bruised ego made she started doing stupid things, such as stalking all the social media of him.
The task was hard: Yoongi only posted things related to his work: pictures from his studio, chunks of new songs, selfies with musician he colaborated. After a entire afternoon she found anything. Tired of that no sense she started to think in the Night Sale event of Jung Hoseok's art design shop. A guy from the model agency crew suggested it was the place where she could find the ideal present for his ex boyfriend birthday. The memory of the celebration in her apartment made her a little nostalgic. However Jess tried to shake off that thoughts of her head. She only have to focuse in the event and think in the appropriate outfit. She was Jess Wang and she needed to look perfect.
She never imagined that decision would solve her investigation. Aiming to find out how the people dressed in the past events she decided to look for in the Hoseok's Instagram. That was she found the picture. It showed Hoseok with a little girl in his arms. She was about three or four or five -she was very bad calculating children age- but despite the panda makeup she recognized the round cheeks, the almond black eyes and, of course, Yoongi besides her. And a woman looking his ex boyfriend with a big smile in his face. Surely he didn't notice her gesture.
Jess recognized you face but she didn't remember when and where she met you. Not in her work neither Yoongi studio, although she didn't visit that place often. She decided focusing in her outfit again and walked to her walking closet, although the photo etched in her mind. Suddenly she remembered: the girl who attended her in Hoseok's shop. A rage invaded her when she recalled your kindness and willigness to find the perfect present for Yoongi. She looked back on the happiness in Yoongi's face when he opened the box. Jess felt stupid. And there are few things more harmful than a woman with a wounded ego
"She is normal", Taehyung said to her. "I mean, she is pretty but not beautiful. She has an ordinary sense of fashion. Definitely she couldn't compare with you", he added.
Jess went to the event with one of photographer of the agency. Kim Taehyung was handsome, stylish and fun. And he liked her. She realized it many time ago. He dated other girls, obviously, but there was always a certain chemistry between them. That's why he was the perfect wingman for the night.
"But Yoongi chose her. She replaced me with her", she complained.
"In fact he didn't replaced anyone. He knew her before you. Also he doesn't recognize the difference between what is beautiful and what is not", he explained.
"I know. I totally agree with you. But I'm very pissed with his choice!", you exclaimed.
"Jess, he's not for you. I never understood what you saw in him. He doesn't even know how to dress" -he paused to take some air- "what's the thing with those baggy clothes? I really hate his big pullovers and the ripped wide legs jeans", said Taehyung wrinkling his nose.
"Yeah you're right. But that's exactly what bothers me", Jess pouted.
"I knew that look. What bad thing are you planning?", he asked her smiling.
"I'm thinking in something. However I let you know only if it's successful", she replied with a mischievously spark in her eyes.
****
You opened the door and took off your heels quickly, groaning while you massaged your feet. You found Yoongi sat in the couch while was looking at the phone. He was with the headphones on and you noticed a total silence in the apartment. You frowned and walk to Yoongi trying to find out where Rosie was. When he noticed you he jumped.
"Shit! You almost killed me", he said while he was taking off his headphones. "I thought you would let me know when you were coming", he added.
"Where is…"
"Sleeping. We drank hot chocolate and then I told her some weird tales I invented. She laughed until she got tired enough to fall sleep", he informed you.
You sighed and noticed he was glaring at you with an amused smile.
"You thought I was focused in anything but our daughter", he replied at your expression. "But not. I had everything under control", he said stretching his arms up.
You fell onto the couch besides him without thinking. You were so tired and let out a deep breath.
"Did you eat something?", he asked you. You noticed some worry in his words and smiled. For a moment you forgot all the sexual tension between both of you. Indeed, you almost forgot he wasn't your boyfriend nor your husband and that he was dating the famous model you met some hours ago.
"I picked up bites of everything. Jungkook wanted to go eat but I prefered came early", you smiled at him, "but I think a cup of tea would be nice". You were standing when he stopped you.
"Stay there. I will prepare you one". Yoongi stood up and went to the kitchen corner.
You heard the sound of your electric kettle and closed your eyes. You were exhausted and when you felt the smell of the tea leaves you smiled.
"Here", Yoongi brought you a mug a moment later.
"Thank you", you grabbed it with your both hands. "And for you?", you questioned.
"I'm ok. I have an overdose of sugar so I can't eat or drink anything more", he laughed showing his gums.
You loved his laugh. His eyes got smaller but they sparked as he was sending tiny stars around him. It was irresistible and you gathered all your strength to focus only in your tea.
"Put your feet here", he suddenly said.
You looked at him and open your eyes wide when you noticed he was taping his lap. You tried to refuse but he surprised you when grabbed your mug and put it over the coffee table.
"It's not necessary. I'll shower before to go to bed to ease the pain", you uttered.
But he didn't obey you. He grabbed from your ankles and put your feet over his lap as he asked you. You squealed softly grabbing the hem of your dress. You cheeks got red when he started to massage your sore feet.
"Yoongi… ", you whispered.
"I did this many times. Do you remember? When you had those long shifts in the pub on weekends", he remembered.
The true was you completely forgot about it. Yoongi did care of you many times, indeed. There were some details that were only for you. That's why you didn't understand his comings and goings. That's why you always waited for him nevertheless the things you brother and friends told you.
Yoongi's hand were soft but firm and they were able to alleviate your tired feet. You almost forgot how uncomfortable was putting on heels.
"It's working, isn't it?", he told you. You only nod wishing he didn't stop. You felt like a cat about to purr.
"I broke up wtih her", his raspy voice brought you back to Earth.
You ran out of words.
"What did you do?", you said finally.
"I broke up with Jess. I told her everything about you and Rosie", he answered.
You noticed him glaring at you. His smile was vanished and his stern eyes was looking back at you as he was waiting for your response. Thousand thoughts flooded in your mind. Yes, you were thinking about both of you during whole week, saying to yourself that it was neccessary did not trespass some boundaries, but it never occurred to you that he would broke up with Jess Wang. Suddenly a dark idea crossed your mind.
"She… she was at the gallery tonight. Did you told her who I am?", you asked fearing the answer.
"No. She didn't even ask much about Rosie. I only said we dated some years ago", he replied you. "Did she tell you anything?", he asked.
"No, I barely spoke with her. But… Yoongi I didn't expect this. I mean, if this is because happened the other night, it wasn't necessary", you explained.
"Yes, it was", he said.
Suddenly you realized he never stop his touches. But there weren't a foot massages. He was caressing your naked calves. You felt your cheeks burning and when you looked at him again you noticed his breath over your mouth. He was nearly kissing you, but it seemed he was waiting for your permission. You looked at his lips and he knew it was a yes.
You wrapped your hands around his neck and he grabbed you from your thighs putting you over his lap. You kissed fiercely, very hungry for each other. At the time you forgot that your child were sleeping in the next room and you need to be quiet. He pulled your lips away and started to kiss your neck. You breathed deep when he bit your earlob.
He grabbed one of your legs and put you over his lap with the open legs. Then he stopped his petting and glare at you.
"I need to ask if it's okay", he whispered over your lips.
"Yes, it is", you answered bitting your lower lip.
You didn't know if it was your words or your action but he attacked your lips like an angry cat. His hands were running over your thighs and grabbed the hem of your dress. He pull it over your head and contemplated you in underwear in front of him. God, your body weren't the same like years ago and certainly the maternity left marks on your skin. But you seemed more gorgeous to him. Your breasts were bigger and your tighs were wider. That made him crazy. He grabbed your hips with one hand while his long fingers were traveling over your skin until he met the button of your bra.
You anticipated his movements and stopped theirs to pulled off his black oversized t-shirt. You gazed at his face rounded by his disheveled blonde hair. You looked at his eyes and felt proud of yourself. Despite you felt stupid when he played with your feelings, you always felt empowered when you had sex with him.
You barely noticed he unbuttoned your bra and when he was caressing your nipples with his thumb you moaned trying not to be noisy. You released your hand from his torso and grabbed the back of the couch, fingers tucked in its edge when he started to lick your breast. The wet flooded your inner walls while your arouse was taking the control over your whole body. Yoongi felt the hotness of your skin and chuckled with the knowledge he still had that effect over you. However his excitement was as big as yours. Your body was like an open book to him. He had read him so many times that knew by heart all of its corners and the spots who provoked you.
You felt his buldge under your core and unbuckled his belt to help release it. But when you were unzipping his jeans he stopped you. You scowled at him and he released your breast biting your nipple before.
"Easy, girl. Let me enjoy you. It's been a while", his raspy voice turn on something inside you. A surprise because you thought he had activated all of them.
"Don't tease me", you complained.
"I don't", he replied while was licking your stomach. He grabbed your ass cheeks and squeezed them.
"Liar", you said trying to surpress another moan. Keeping silence became more and more difficult.
He caught your mouth with his and started to lower your panties slowly. An urgency appeared in your mind while his tongue was running all the corners of your mouth. You gathered some strength and pull him away. His coal eyes watched you in confussion.
"We need a condom", you whispered.
His eyes widened. Is he having some of them in his jacket? Surely there were in the glove box of his car, but going to the parking lot in that very moment would be a cool down.
"You weren't on the pill?", he asked hopefully.
"No", you replied.
"Fuck! Let me see if in my jacket…"
"There are some in the bathroom cabinet, behind the tampons", you told him. He raised an eyebrow to you questioning.
"We don't want more Mins in this world, right?", you uttered.
He lifted you by your hips and put over the couch. You heard him rummaging in your cabinets and chuckled imagining his rush. He noticed your amusement while he was riping the package and let the condom over the coffee table. He turned to you and pushed over the couch, positioning between your open legs. He lifted them one at a time to pulling off your panties. Then he grabbed your knees and started to kiss inside your thighs closing to your core. You moaned again that time gripping his hair. He shut your mouth with his while he was sliding two fingers inside you. The touches sent jolts through your body.
"How you say the other night, we need to be quiet", he shushed in your ear.
You only nod, unable to articulate a word.
"You're so wet, girl. Ready for me?", he asked you, pure lust in her voice.
You nod again. But that time he complained.
"Say it. I need hear you", he claimed.
"I'm ready, Yoongi", you admitted.
He pulled his fingers and put them in your mouth. Both of you licked them ath the same time while he watched you. Then he stood to undressed his jeans and boxer and put the condom in his dick. He grabbed one of your legs and put it over his lower back. He kissed you again while he was sliding into you to avoid your moans sounded loudly. He love the noisy you were but at the moment both of you can't risk your daughter awake in the middle of the night and caught you having sex in the couch.
You let out a cry when you felt him inside you. It have been a while since you were with a man. Although that man was Yoongi himself your walls needed to adjust to him.
"It hurts?", he asked you with a bit of worry in his ebony irises.
"No, it's okay. Just keep going", you said.
He obeyed you although he tried to be careful. At the beginning his thrusts were slow but it were more exciting than quicker movements. You bited back a moan and your breath hitches. You cupped his face and watch into his eyes. God, he looked so hot between your legs. You circled his waist with your both legs while he was increasing the pace of his thrusts. You squeezed his shoulders and bit your lip trying to keep your moans at bay.
"Fuck, you feel so good", he groaned. Beyond belief you were able to smile with proud. For that moment he was only yours. He was your man.
You reached his mouth and bit his lips. It was a wild thing you loved to do and you knew he enjoyed it although the other day he'd complained for his swollen lips.
Heat was raising in your living room. Noises from your bodies colliding over the couch were the only sounds which could be heard. You started to melt slowly anticipating your orgasm. You seized him harder no matter the bruises that appeared in his pale skin after.
"I'm so close. Keep going, please", you pleaded.
The words were an invitation and he thrusted you harder. Yoongi felt your jolts and your back arching. He kissed you again to shushed your last scream. Then he kept moving until a couple of groans marked his own orgasm. You felt his cum filling you and he slowly sliding away. Both of you panted while you were trying to accomodate in the tiny space.
He put one of your leg and the half of your body over him. You closed your eyes and breathed deep to move the dizziness away. Suddenly Yoongi's hand were caressing your back. You chuckled faintly over his chest while you were listening his heart beats. They were recovering his normal rythm and it seemed to echoed his raspy voice.
"What", he shushed in your ear.
"Nothing", you murmured.
"Tell me", he insisted, patting your back.
"Nothing… I just was…"
"Remembering the good old times?", he joked.
"Something like that", you replied smiling.
For a moment both of you kept in silence. You cuddled in his chest and he moved his long fingers over your warm skin.
"Do you want something to drink?", your voice resonated in the room.
"Water, please", he asked you grogily.
You put on your dress and walked to the sink to fulfilled a pair of glasses. Meanwhile he put his boxers and his t-shirt and when you came back you find him sitting in the couch. He took one glass from your hands and gulped its content.
"Someone is thirsty. Maybe too much exercise?", you made fun of him.
"Careful because I know how to shut that big mouth of yours", he took your chin and gave a peck in your lips.
It was too much exercise, indeed. He couldn't remember when it was the last time he and Jess had sex. He calculated more than a month, or maybe since he found out about Rosie.
You leaned your head in his shoulder. He wirlsed a damp strand of your hair. You kept in silence again, both just enjoying the moment. Until you felt the need to go to the bathroom, clean yourself and go to bed. You'd have a part of your soul to sleep intertwined with him but Rosie was expecting in your bed.
"I have to go to the bed. If you need the bathroom you can use after me", you said standing up.
But he grabbed your waist from behind tucking his nose in your hair.
"Not yet, please. Stay a bit more", he pleaded and how you could refuse?
****
You woke up late. It was Sunday, the alarm didn't ring and your body, and sore core, knew that it was allowed to relax. No matutine hurries neiher Rosie's complaints for having to left the bed early. The sunlight illuminated the room and forced you to open the eyes. Just in time because your little girl was starting to wake up. You smiled at her lightly.
"Hello beauty", you greeted her.
"Hello mommy"
You holded her and attacked her with kisses and tickles. She giggled and screamed until she was exhausted. You released her ruffling her hair.
"Do you want breakfast?", you asked.
But before she nodded in affirmation you remembered Yoongi. You jumped from the bed and got ahead Rosie. You panicked just thinking the little girl would discovered his "friend" sleeping semi naked in the couch. You opened the door and looked at your living room but he wasn't there. You walked to the couch and noticed the blanket were folded over it and the cushions back in their position. You frowned while some queassiness started to brew in your stomach. It was obvious, you thought. He ran from your side just when he got the chance.
Rosie was running to you, a bit worried.
"Mommy, what happened?"
Her voice backed you to the Earth. She was the most important thing in your life, not the stupid man who deceived you. Again.
"Nothing, don't worry. Let's make some breakfast", you said trying to smile.
However all your efforts vanished when you open the kitchen cabinets. You were ran out from almost everything. All the week was a chaos and you forgot to went to supermarket completely. You took a deep breath and thought that Sunday was becoming a little hell. You cursed yourself for your limitless stupidity. How you did end believing in Yoongi again? How was he able to coax you and made you forget you haven't food in your house? You had a child, for God's sake!
"Yoonyiii!", Rosie call made you jump. Your heart stompped when you saw the blonde hair man putting some bags over the kitchen aisle.
"Morning little girl! How are you doing today?", he told her poking her nose.
"I'm hungry. Mom haven't made the breakfast", she pouted.
"I brought the breakfast, so Mommy don't need to made anything", he watched at you smiling.
You looked at him back in disbelief. The queasiness in your stomach started to disipate. You bit your lip while he was putting over the table the breakfast for three of you: a coffee, a tea and hot chocolate; three sandwiches and a woman ginger bread cookie. He told Rosie something about it is alike her and she giggled. You approached the table and regret all the bad things you thought about him earlier.
"Sit. We are waiting for you and we are starving, right Rosie?", he looked at you curiously.
"Mommy sit", the little girl told.
Her voice made you reacted. You sat with them and grabbed the Rosie's cup before she did it.
"Careful, it could be hot", you warned her. She pouted but wait you stir the liquid and tasted it. You looked at her and with the corner of the eye to the man in front of you.
"With spoon, slowly", you told her while you were passing the cup.
Rosie drank a bit from her cup and then she attacked the cookie. You thought in said her would eat first the sandwich but you regret before said it. It was Sunday and a bit of relax in the rules couldn't do any damage. You felt happy but a bit nervous too. The scene was too ideal and you knew you had to be cautious. You bit your lower lip. Then you felt a soft kick in your leg. You looked at Yoongi surprised.
"Dont do that, please. You knew all the things that made me want", he said you with a mischievous smile.
You knew that stare, that smile, that subtle message. You felt your face burning in red. What was happening to you? You were behaving like a teen girl while a little tiny voice kept saying inside your mind "be careful".
"I thought you left early", you said him.
"I supossed you were thinking that. So I tried to hurry but the coffee shop was a bit crowded. I think because it's Sunday", he replied while he was eating.
When he woke up that morning the first thing he saw was the white ceiling of your apartment. At first he didnt recognized because he never saw it before. Some cracks crossed it and he frowned and thought that your home was not just little but a bit old too. He put the blanket over his head and roll to his side. He closed his eyes but he couldn't sleep. He smelled your scent still in his body. God! He haven't realized how much he have missed you all the last years.
Yoongi couldn't get sleep again, so decided to get up and tried to make some breakfast. It could be a good surprise if he woke up both of you with the smell of brewed coffee and fresh toasts. But when he opened the cabinets he realized there weren't bread neither milk nor cereals. He frowned and thought why you didn't have any of these. An idea popped in his mind and looked for your keys. They were over the kitchen aisle. He took them and left the apartment quietly. He didn't want any of you wake up.
You didn't reply him. True was you didn't find the right kind words to explain your assumptions. Yes, leaving the morning after could be a so Yoongi's behaviour but he didn't do it. So how you could explain to him that without sound hurtful?
Three of you devoured the breakfast. It was almost 11 in the morning and the last day (and night) left you very exhausted. And hungry. When you didn't go out you let Rosie spend some time watching TV. So Yoongi got Rosie off the high chair while you were gathering the breakfast remains to throw them in the trash bin. You were hearing the sound of Rosie's favourite cartoon show when some arms holding you from behind. You couldn't help but stiffened. Yoongi's movement was unexpected and for a moment you startled.
"What? It's me, not a burglar", he said in your ear.
You heard him chuckling while he gave a peck in your neck. He smelled at tangerines and wood. The same fragrance of last night. It gave you goosebumps and when you tried to step away he released you. You turned back and looked at him. He was smiling showing his gums. You smiled back. His eyes were glittering with joyful sparks. It was almost perfect, wasn't? For a moment you shushed your internal voice and laughed bitting your lower lip.
He approached to you and grabbed your chin. He looked at the girl sat in the floor watching TV with the corner of his eye and kissed you. You opened your mouth and welcomed his tongue. You knew that it would be quick but you needed that kiss badly. He pulled away and spoke over your lips.
"I told you don't do that. I can't resist it"
You smiled widely.
"Listen. I got to go now", he told you.
"Yeah, it would be the best. Jungkook gonna come to lunch with us today", you replied.
"Shit! So I have to hurry", he exaggerated.
"Idiot!", you pushed him a bit.
"We are talking, ok? I'll call you. Maybe we can meet tomorrow night to dinner or something?", he asked eagerly.
"Yeah, it could be", you agreed.
He hold your hands and squeezed them. Then he went to the little girl.
"Rosie, I'm leaving. Gave me a kiss", he asked while he was kneeling down her. She kissed his cheek and he poked her nose with the point of his finger.
"Bye, Yoonyi", she giggled.
You waited for him at the door. You opened it and he kissed you again. Briefly that time.
"I'll see you. Have a nice Sunday", he said before leaving.
You closed the door and walked to the living room. You contemplated to Rosie and smiled. She looked like his father very much. You smiled again. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and some joy were filling your body. When you went to the bedroom to gather Rosie's clothes you heard her question.
"Mommy, Yoonyi is my daddy?"
You jolted and turned back to her with wide eyes.
"Why… why are you thinking that, girl?", you asked her back.
"Because he gave you a kiss. Daddys always kisses mommys", she explained without taking his eyes off the TV.
Join BTS Dream Court and BTS Carnival Net for a collaborative, 𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔣𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤, event this season!
As the first leaf falls marking the start of Autumn, Mystic Manor reopens its doors each year, welcoming all who creep within the shadows and hide from the mundane eye. Too chilling for humans, this Dead & Breakfast offers horrifying hospitality and frightening specialties for all Monsters to enjoy, such as complimentary Wiltweed Wraps providing a perfect ghastly complexion, Bat Bites that pair perfectly with midnight tea enjoyed in the graveyard, and our popular Witches Brew that will have you seeing double early into dawn. Your time spent at Mystic Manor will be nightmarishly memorable, to say the least, and our Concierge Team is ready to make this season one you won’t forget. Find out what all we can do when you book your stay!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Welcome to the Born To Sin kpop writing collaboration. Writers will create their darkest and most sinful stories about the dangers of the crime world using their idol of choice as a muse. This event is strictly intended for writers that are 18 years of age or older. See below to apply.
Genre: BTS AU Yoongi AU - Established relationship (kinda)
Wordcount: 9,335
Description: Min Yoongi and one of the sound technician have a secret relationship. But anything can keep in secret forever.
Disclaimer: This story was written as part of @btswritingcafe’s Specialty Coffee Anniversary Event. There were various B-side tracks whose lyrics were meant to be the basis for the fic. I have chosen I am wrong. I hope you enjoy it!
================
1. Beginning
“OK, it’s your turn. Can you say anything?” You told Yoongi while you were finishing to grip the mic box in the back side of his belt.
“Is it all right?”, you asked.
“Yes, the mic is perfectly attached. Miss Y/LN have done an excellent work as ever”, you smiled when you hear that raspy voice Sound ex in the empty room.
You knew that voice, and the subtle jokes, very well. Yoongi’s compliments were always said in that way. You thought it was because he wouldn’t want to give rise to misunderstandings. So you smiled politely and followed with your work.
“He needed to talk a lot. We’re checking for the interview”, you heard your boss instructions.
“You have to be in an interview so talk a lot, please”. He saw you while you were watching an indefinite point on the floor. You realized his gaze and watched him back. For a couple of seconds your eyes locked but you frowned and heard your boss again.
“OK, can you talk?”, you commanded him.
Yoongi sighed.
“I was thinking about the lyrics of a new song. I rescued the melody from an old hard drive and I want to work on it again”, he said.
Genre: BTS AU Yoongi AU - Established relationship (kinda)
Wordcount: 9,335
Description: Min Yoongi and one of the sound technician have a secret relationship. But anything can keep in secret forever.
Disclaimer: This story was written as part of @btswritingcafe’s Specialty Coffee Anniversary Event. There were various B-side tracks whose lyrics were meant to be the basis for the fic. I have chosen I am wrong. I hope you enjoy it!
================
1. Beginning
“OK, it’s your turn. Can you say anything?” You told Yoongi while you were finishing to grip the mic box in the back side of his belt.
"Is it all right?", you asked.
“Yes, the mic is perfectly attached. Miss Y/LN have done an excellent work as ever”, you smiled when you hear that raspy voice Sound ex in the empty room.
You knew that voice, and the subtle jokes, very well. Yoongi’s compliments were always said in that way. You thought it was because he wouldn’t want to give rise to misunderstandings. So you smiled politely and followed with your work.
“He needed to talk a lot. We’re checking for the interview”, you heard your boss instructions.
“You have to be in an interview so talk a lot, please”. He saw you while you were watching an indefinite point on the floor. You realized his gaze and watched him back. For a couple of seconds your eyes locked but you frowned and heard your boss again.
“OK, can you talk?”, you commanded him.
Yoongi sighed.
“I was thinking about the lyrics of a new song. I rescued the melody from an old hard drive and I want to work on it again”, he said.
“Ok, keep going”, you asked him from a distance.
“I was thinking about this girl I like”, you heard its words but didn’t see him, focused so fully in your work. However the sound staff kept silent for a moment.
“The engineer asked if everything was ok?”, you asked him indifferently.
“Yes, everything is fine”, he smiled mischievously.
“Keep going, please”, you said again.
“So I liked this girl a lot and I want to know if she feels the same about me. I want to confess my feelings but being an idol Isn’t very compatible with a healthy love life”, he said.
“OK, it’s right”, you told him.
“Suga soundcheck is finished”, you said loudly.
You came back to him and asked if his return was ok. He murmured yes while you were taking off the mic, ears and box. Both of you locked eyes for a second time that afternoon. You bowed to each other and he left backstage. You put the devices in his respective box letting all the things ready to use. Apparently you were so focused on your work but in your head you repeat what he said early again and again. And again.
+++
"What was that?”, you asked him.
"What was what?", he replied as he didn't understand your question.
You lifted your head from his chest and looked at his eyes.
"The speech during the soundcheck"
"Nothing. You asked me to speak a lot and I told a little story", he joked.
You scoffed and rolled your eyes back.
"Did I say something wrong? Did I lie?", he insisted.
"Do you really want me to answer that?", you seemed a bit angry.
"Hey, calm down. Anyone discovered us yet", he stated.
"Because we are being very VERY cautious", you replied worried. "But lately you aren't".
"What do you mean?", this time Yoongi rose up and glared at you.
"You know that If they caught us I would lose my job. Probably I couldn't work in any company in the industry anymore", you declared.
"For me it wouldn't be easier either", he replied seriously.
"You're the star, remember?", you chuckled ironically. "Maybe they could admonish you but not much more than that".
"I don't want to argue. I just wanted to be with you", he complained.
"I know", you muttered. "But I've been worried lately. I don't know. It's like a hunch", you sighed.
"Hey babe", Yoongi cupped your face and caressed your cheeks with his thumbs. "If we do things carefully we cannot face any danger. I'm committed to that", he assured.
"Yeah, but you are here now. In my flat. What would happen if someone knew about it? or see you?", you claimed.
Yoongi furrowed his brow.
"I thought it would be a nice surprise. Maybe you wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see you. I see I was wrong", he got up from the bed and picked up his jeans from the floor. You knew he was kinda offended.
"Hey, It was a nice surprise. I always want to meet you. But it wouldn't be better if we come back to our old routine. You know, if you come we agreed beforehand to assure anyone can notice you", you requested.
He zipped his pants and sat up in bed beside you. He sighed and peered at you.
"You were right. It was a bit risky to come here today", he accepted. "Although, How can we deal with this?", he asked you. The onyx stones he has as eyes were looking at you with a bit of anxiety.
"Yoongi... ", you whispered and avoided seeing him.
"Tell me, y/n. How can we deal with this", he put a finger under your chin and made you see him again. He closed his face to yours and you knew he was waiting for an answer. But you saw his parted lips and took advantage of the situation. You kissed him deeply, crossing your hands over his neck. He pushed you over the bed and leaned over you. He grabbed your hands away from his neck and pushed them besides your head.
"You took me by surprise. You really know how to do it. But we have to solve this situation soon", he whispered in your ear.
He won. You tried to get up and he released your hands and sat. You followed his move and sat over the bed crossing your legs. The distance between you was close. You rested your forehand in his chest. He sank his nose into your hair. The flower essence of your shampoo fulfilled his nose. He played with the bags hanging from the sides of your face.
"When I have any ideas I'gonna let you know", you finally answered. You hugged him and he did the same thing.
2. Secrets
(Two weeks after)
Yoongi grabbed your wrist and dragged you behind the first door next to you. Your heart stopped for a second at the very thought that someone could be on the other side and saw both of you in that compromising demeanour. Luckily there wasn't anyone, only some boxes stacked in a square and an empty table.
He noticed you were staring at him and chuckled lightly.
"I knew this was empty. I have been around backstages since I was 20. Trust me", he said.
"You know what? This is the kind of risk that we mustn't take", you spoke low.
"My idea was to find a place where we can talk privately", he frowned. "This is a good place, isn't it?".
You looked at him in disbelief.
"What happened with you lately?. It's like I'd made something wrong everyday", he complained.
"I truly believe you want someone to catch us! That’s why I’m so bothered”, you said while you were leaning back on the table folding your arms.
He gave you a stern look. You watched his onyx eyes glaring at you with confusion. He approached you hesitantly but you didn’t move even when you two were just an inch of distance. You let out a deep sigh without diverting your eyes from him.
“I’m gonna protect you and us, no matter what”, he told you while he was playing with some strands from your hair. You looked at him full of worries. You believed in his words but what if he would not fulfill his promises because the agency threatened him with the sorrows of hell? And what would happen with you? It was hard and risky, but you couldn’t resist it. You have fallen in love with that man although you mustn’t.
"I just... am I wrong to fall in love with you? Tell me, I'm wrong...", you mumbled.
"Don't be an idiot", he replied before he sealed his lips with yours. You couldn't resist it and kissed back. Soft but passionate. It wasn't good, neither safe. You were risking too much behaving like that. Where was the woman who promised herself to be very cautious? The truth is she was always there except when he kissed you that way. He grabbed your waist and pushed over the edge of the table. You tried to keep yourself a bit reasonable and resisted to have sex there at all costs.
Suddenly a boom sounded and someone entered the room abruptly. Both of you jumped. You pushed Yoongi away from you with all your strength although you knew it was useful. Whoever entered the room saw you. The fear became in terror when you realized who was the tall guy standing in the frame door.
"Sorry, sorry", Namjoon said, waving his hands after closing the door. "I was just looking for my bag", he said without looking at any of you.
"Why didn't you ever knock on the door?", Yoongi complained.
Namjoon narrowed his eyes and looked at him.
"I was in a hurry. Also I never thought there could be someone here", he said defiantly.
You were paralysed and watched both men interact like you were a mere spectator behind a screen. A lot of thoughts were racing in your mind, especially the bad ones. Finally it happened. A burst of tears fought to escape from your eyes. You looked at Yoongi and Namjoon alternately. It felt like your destiny was being decided at that moment and you couldn't say a word about it. All of that was Yoongi's fault, yes. But yours too. You shouldn't be in that room kissing him. Maybe you hadn't fallen with him. But you did it.
"Well, your bag isn't here, clearly", Yoongi said calmly.
Namjoon cleared his throat and stared at you. Although he didn't say anything you knew he was judging you. Why did a sound technician cross the line and become involved in a relationship with one of them? Why did you never stand aside, quit your job and find another one in another company while you still had recommendations? Did you really know what would happen?
He turned his gaze to Yoongi.
"Maybe it's in the spare room. The others are asking for you, anyway. We are ready to leave for the hotel", he said. But before he left the room watched both of you frowning.
"We have to talk about this later. Now we both go to the spare room and you wait for about 5 minutes to leave this room. The staff will miss you at any moment, but we need to go first to avoid any suspicious eyes", he explained.
Yoongi didn't say anything. What would he do when Namjoon discovered you? The only thing Yoongi told him was that you were together for months. That your relationship wasn't a thing of the moment. Suddenly a doubt blurred your mind. What if Yoongi denied you and told Namjoon that you were only kissing but there wasn't anything more? What if he avoided from now and forever? What if all those words about protecting you and your relationship were just empty promises? You were trembling when they left the room. But before disappearing for the door Yoongi grabbed your hand and squeezed it. You felt his stare over you but you weren't able to look at him back. Only when you heard the door closed did you react and the unshed tears started to flow like there was an alluvium. You covered your eyes with the palm of your hands trying to not cry and stopped to tremble. You had to get out of that place and met the rest of the staff and they hadn't noticed the disaster you were in that moment.
+++
Yoongi was in his room trying to work on some melodies he has recently recorded. He tried to distract himself and pull apart the many thoughts that fulfilled his mind. But it was impossible. He couldn't stop thinking in your face full of fears; in your body trembling; in your numb hand. It was his fault. You told him so. Many times. However he never listened to you.
He was lost in his thoughts when he heard someone knock on the door. He was waiting for it so he stood up and walked to open the door. Namjoon passed by him and sat on the edge of the bed. Yoongi closed the door and stood in front of him. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He knew there wasn't room for more lies.
"What's going on?", Joon asked without hesitation. He knew Yoongi for ten years and he always realized when he was interested in some girl. He had known all his girlfriends and even some of his fuck friends. But he and the technician girl? It was a big surprise.
"Well, you saw it with your own eyes", he replied.
His friend arched a brow looking at him. He wanted more answers, of course. Yoongi was waiting it, but he couldn't help but resist it.
"Ok, me and y/n are together", he finally said.
"I knew that. I saw him with my own eyes", Joonie replied mimicking him. "I want the details. I need the details to know what we do", he remarked. "Is it something only for now? It's understandable. Tour days are hard, especially for you".
"Meaning?", Yoongi replied, frowning.
"You spend most of your free time in the hotel room. It would be healthy if you go to walk out sometimes", Namjoon explained.
"So do you think my relationship with her is just because I'm bored and I want some distraction?", Yoongi snapped.
"I don't know what to think. Can you explain to me?", Joonie replied.
Yoongi let out a deep sigh, surrendering to his friend. The moment of truth has arrived.
"She's my girlfriend. We have been in a relationship for about six months", he said sternly.
Namjoon opened his eyes wide.
"Do you know what you are saying?", Namjoon reformulated his question when he saw the scoffed expression of his friend. "Sorry, do you know the implications of what you are saying?"
"Yes, I do. Also, it's not the first time I'm dating someone", he said.
"No, but it's the first time you date someone from the staff. You know that's a forbidden field, don't you?", Joon insisted.
"Yeah, I know...", Yoongi said, dragging a chair to sit on. "I don't know what to do except that I want to be with her. I love her. I love my career. And I want to have both things without worries", he confessed.
"If you want them you need to be very very careful. I think both of you have been gingerly the last months but this afternoon. I don't know. Thank God it was me!", Joon said.
For a minute any of them said anything.
"You think it is okay. I don’t think it’s that okay. However, it is your decision", he added.
"So don't you give us away?", Yoongi uttered.
"Of course not! You're my friend!", he said, patting Yoongi's forearm.
"You're the leader. You know if someone discovered us they scolded you too", Yoongi said.
"So, you have to be careful. For me and for her. Because they haven't only admonished her. They have fired her", Joon said very seriously.
3. Games
(Two weeks after)
You giggled while Yoongi was kissing the crook of your neck.
"Dont be so ticklish!", he claimed squeezing your waist sides. "You distract me".
"Sorry, sorry", you said, trying to be serious. You looked at his pouty face. You knew it wasn't funny for him as for you so you cupped one of his cheeks with your hand and pulled him over you. You leaned over him and kissed. He pushed and your head leaned back against the bed again. You looked at him and bit your low lip. He kissed you back while his hands were playing under your shirt. You giggled again.
"Aghhhh", he grumbled.
"It's not my fault! I can't help it", you apologised.
He released you and sat on his knees between your legs.
"This is serious", he told you with a mischievous look.
"You know that sometimes I'm more sensitive", you said.
"I prefer when you are more sensitive in another way", he scowled.
For a minute both of you looked at each other in silence. Then he pinched your naked tights.
"Ouch", you claimed and tried to kick him. But he was quicker and grabbing your both ankles he pulled you to him. He released you and leaned over you, taking advantage of your surprise. He grabbed your wrists and put your arms over your head and kissed you, more fiercely than before. When he did things that way you barely lost your consciousness. Yoongi was overwhelming.
"Someone has many clothes here", you told him in a moment he broke the kiss. He didn't move an inch but laughed.
"It's not funny. It's unfair", you claimed at the time.
"See?", he told you.
"Yoongi...", you arched a brow.
He finally released you and grabbed his shirt when you pushed him over you with your legs rounding his waist. That time you took advantage of his surprise and took his shirt off. His pale torso appeared in front of you. The light of the bed lamp gave it a mated glow. His eyes sparked with lust and you couldn't do anything else more than smile.
He looked at you. Your face radiating with joy, your dark hair scattered over the bed. He could barely see your belly button appearing under your shirt. Your pink bikini covering your core. He wanted to pull them off so badly. He leaned over you and you kissed him again, an irresistible hunger for each other. You tugged your hands in the long bangs of his dark hair, enjoying each inch of him. He chuckled while he was playing with his nose over your cheeks, trying to catch your scent.
A knock in the door made both of you jolt. No more giggles nor funny words. Just a silent expectation.
"Yoongi hyung. It's me. I was trying to sleep early but I couldn't", Jimin's voice came from the other side of the door.
Yoongi opened his eyes wide.
"Shit!", he cried.
"You said that all of them were eating out", you questioned.
He shushed you with his finger, waiting for another Jimin's sign.
"I know you are there. I can hear some noises. I wrote something. Let's drink a couple of glasses while you check it", he insisted.
"What do we do?", you murmured while Yoongi was standing up.
He grabbed your hand to help you to stand. You looked around looking for a place to hide.
"Bathroom?", you asked.
"No, he can think of occupying it", he replied.
"The wardrobe. It's wide", you said.
Yoongi nodded and passed you a blanket to get warm. Fuck, he was waiting for a chance to be alone with you since days and now it ruined.
"Hey", you managed to stop him from opening the door grabbing his wrist. He turned you with round eyes, reflecting fear in them. "Your shirt", you said, passing it to him.
He sighed and gave you a peck. Then he waited until you entered the wardrobe to open the door.
+++
You lost the count of how long you have been in the wardrobe. At first you think it would be short and the conversation of the two men in the room was interesting. Even though you felt a bit ashamed for sniffing Jimin's feelings, you checked your phone trying to find something to spend the time.
But the half hour became an entire hour and you started to feel sleepy. Your legs were numb because the position and your body started to cool. Some tears rolled down your cheeks. You felt stupid and miserable and helpless. You should be in your bed sleeping under the cozy blankets; or sharing some beers with work mates. Maybe those imaginary friends you invented to the colleagues who share the room with could be real and you would be drinking and eating with them instead of hiding in the wardrobe of a hotel room.
Yoongi knew Jimin's lyrics were good. They made him think in a melody. In other circumstances he has switched on his laptop and rummaged through the hard drive to find a draft with the right vibes for making a song. However he was very aware you were hidden and it made him feel miserable and frustrated. Luckily his bandmate brought a sparkling wine and the alcohol helped to lighten his mood. Even so, Jimin's presence was exasperating him little by little. So when the young man yawned Yoongi knew it was the moment.
"It's time to go back to your room. It's a bit late", he said, faking a yawn.
"Don't be a killjoy, hyung", the young man claimed.
"I'm a killjoy all the time. So, you haven't a point", Yoongi replied.
"You know you are not an old man, right? Life is made to be lived!", Jimin exclaimed standing up.
"Go to bed, Jimin", Yoongi followed him to the door.
It had been so easy to dispatch his maknae and he feared at the last second the man would find a reason to not go. That's why when Jimin tilted his head to him before opening the door his stomach twisted.
"You have been acting a bit weird lately. Any member has said so?", Jimin frowned while he was questioning his bandmate.
A fear fell like a cold shower over Yoongi's back.
"What are you talking about?", he asked, fearing the answer.
"We noticed you are secretive. Like if you were hiding something. Hoseok said it would be our imagination but I know he thought so. What's happening?", the young man inquired.
"Anything happened! You are so imaginative", Yoongi replied, trying to be as stern as ever.
Jimin gazed at him with a frowning expression. Both of them knew the answer wasn't true. However the maknae didn't insist.
"If you said so. But I'll keep thinking the same unless you prove we are wrong. We care about you a lot. You need to know it", he finally said.
"I do know!", said Yoongi smiling. He was very touched by the kind worry of his bandmate. "But for now nothing happened. If it would be you will be the first to know it", he assured.
"Night, hyung"
"Sleep well, Jimin"
When Yoongi closed the door he leaned over it letting out a deep sigh. The situation was running out of hand more quickly than he thought. He looked for the gaphole to be sure anyone was in the corridor. Then he hurried to the wardrobe. When he opened the door he found you had curled yourself and were sleeping. That image killed his heart. He felt horribly guilty.
"Hey, babe", he said, caressing your cheek to make you wake up. You looked so relaxed but you jolted when you felt the touch. You opened your eyes wide, a bit confused about what was happening.
"It's me. Jimin's gone", Yoongi said.
You didn't say anything, only focusing on getting up and leaving the room. But your legs were so numb and didn't move.
"Fuck!", you cried in anger.
"Let me help you", Yoongi grabbed you by your arms and lifted you. When he left you over the bed noticed your puffy eyes and red cheeks. He frowned.
"Babe, what happened?", he asked, his voice full of worries.
"Seriously?", you snapped.
Yoongi felt a knot in his stomach. How was what was supposed to be a great evening turning into this disaster? He felt frustrated. Sad. Guilty. He wasn't able to give you the place you deserve in his life.
"I didn't know he would come. I didn't even know he was in the hotel", he said apologetically.
You shivered with cold while you were checking if your legs work. You stood up and looked for your pants.
"I'm tired. I should better go", you said without looking at him.
"We still have time", he told you.
You looked at him in disbelief. A minute ago you were frustrated and angry. Now you're mad.
"Time for what? For a quick fuck and then what? Will I have to crawl down the corridor to go to my room, praying than anyone sees me?", you snorted.
"There's no need to talk like that. It wasn't my fault that Jimin appeared tonight. If I've known I never would have made any arrangements with you", he replied.
You scoffed and sat in the bed again to dress you up. But you didn't do anything trying to regain your calm.
"I'm done, Yoongi", you sighed without looking at him.
He walked and sat beside you.
"What do you mean?", he asked.
"We can't... I can't keep playing this hide and seek game anymore", you cried.
Yoongi grabbed your shoulders and pulled you over his chest. You surrendered to his embrace. It was warm and cozy and you were feeling so cold and helpless. You felt your tears rolling down your cheeks again. God, you weren't a weeping girl. You hated to cry in front of others, indeed. However your relationship with Yoongi was keeping you at the edge lately.
It never was easy but at the beginning it was more fun. None of you were aware of what would happen later so it was just enjoy the moment. Good talks and similar interests became in kisses and sex. Then in a relationship. A formal one, indeed. Yoongi proposed it to you in those terms: you have to be exclusive.
Some months later the situation was different. You were so into each other and the secretiveness has been exhausting. The fear of you being caught was a daily thing. The fact that Namjoon has agreed to keep your secret safe was pure luck. Yoongi was sure that any of the other members would betray him if they caught both of you, but he didn't want to take any risks. Neither do you.
"Are you ready for this? For this kind of relationship? Because I'm not?", you whispered, talking more to yourself to him.
He looked at you all guilty in his eyes. Then he sighed deeply.
"Don't leave. I will prepare you tea. We can drink some and eat chocolates while we're cuddling", he kissed your temples and stood up to switch on the electric kettle. You took off your pants, again, and entered the bed. Minutes later you have a mug in your hands and Yoongi was hugging you, his arms rounding your waist. You got warm and smiled when you put small squares of chocolate in his mouth. For the moment the storm seemed past. But there are many of them to come, each one bigger than the previous one.
4. The truth
(A week after)
Who was? That question was haunting you all night. You barely slept trying to figure out although you knew it was one of your colleagues. It was obvious. Namjoon told Yoongi he wasn't saying a word and you were sure that neither of the boys knew about both of you. In that case they had talked with Yoongi first.
You blamed yourself for being so naive, so stupid. You have fallen for Yoongi and didn't care about anything else. You were always convinced you took all the precautions but in the end anything wasn't enough. At least not for your room mates. You were each time more sure that one of them leaked about your relationship with Yoongi. It would be very easy to blame the "delator", however in the deepest of your heart you knew who dragged you to this path was yourself. And Yoongi too.
Sitting in the couches of the reception you felt the stare of the secretary and a couple of assistants. They looked at you in a pitiful way. You hated them for it. The sixteenth floor of the pristine offices of Hybe building was destined for the big deals. BTS showed themselves there more than any other bands of the company. However when only one of them was called it was because something went wrong. If that is for a staff member the floor was the most feared.
The door opened and someone called for you.
"Miss Y/N/L, please come in", you heard the voice but didn't dare to saw the man to his face. Your guts was a mess inside you. You tried to remain calm during all the hours before the appointment but in the very moment you barely could be able to do it. Your anxiety made your heart burst and for a moment you were sure that everyone there could hear your beats.
There were two men besides the one who called you. He kept standing at one side of the table and the other was sitting at the head of it. You recognised just one of them, the other probably was a layer.
Yoongi sat in front of you. He looked at you and you looked at him back. It was brief but his stern face caught your attention. Nothing could be read of his expression. One of the men cleared his throat and you addressed your gaze at him.
"Miss Y/N/L, we were aware of your relationship with Mr. Min and I allowed me to remind you that one of the contract clauses you signed ten months ago stated that it was absolutely restricted having any close relationship with the members of BTS", he told you sharply.
You nod.
"We got information that you were in a relationship with Mr. Min. He had confirmed it. So is it true, right?", he asked.
"Yes, it..."
"Mr. Min, you can retire", the man said interrupting you.
You opened your eyes wide to watch Yoongi. He stood up and looked at you apologetically. Then he walked to the door leaving the room. You shivered. He left you in front of the scaffold.
"Although you were absolutely aware that you were committing a foul you had sexual intercourses with Mr. Min", he was talking to you watching at your eyes but emotionless. For him it was only a procedure. A serious one but anything that deserves not even a little of empathy.
"It wasn't only sexual, we have a relationship", you assured.
"Please, just answer yes or no. Although I advise you not to lie because we have enough evidence to start a lawsuit against you", he said, a condescending tone in his voice.
"Yes", you admitted.
"Thank you for answering our questions. This is the dismissal letter you have to sign now. Although it is not contemplated any economic compensation when an employee engages in this type of conduct, we are going to deposit an equivalent amount of money of two wages", he addressed a sheet of paper to you.
You grabbed the document and read it. It was only a page which said you were fired by committing a serious fault to the company's regulation. Also made it clear that if you intended to make public the situation in which you were involved the legal staff was ready to sue you.
You signed the papers and brought it back to the man. It was clear for you he was a lawyer. Not even your boss was firing you. Probably he never talked to you again.
"That was all, miss Y/LN. Our assistant will accompany you to get your things until you leave the building", the man said and gave you a copy of the document.
You took it and left the room without even bothering to say goodbye. You only want to run away from that damn building and not face any of your colleagues, your bosses, and so on. The only person you hoped was waiting for you inside of the room was Yoongi. Of course, he wasn't there.
It seemed like the entire world has gone crazy. It seemed like the end.
4. Then...
(Five months after)
A chilly breeze caressed the cheeks of everyone who walked by the river Han promenade. You took your time and bought a coffee on the way. It warmed your cold hands. You saw the steam coming out of your mouth and questioned yourself why you accepted the appointment at that time of the day. You understand it would be very difficult to try to arrange in more crowded hours. But it would have been nice putting some obstacles before accepting coming. After all you haven't anything to gain with this meeting.
You spotted the man sitting on the bench. A beanie was covering his head and his body was hidden under oversized sweatpants and parka. A facial mask over the half of his face. Barely any people could recognise him. If you didn't know who he was you even bothered to see him twice, indeed.
Slowly you approached the bench and sat beside him. You didn't look at him but you heard the faint sound of his chuckle.
"Morning, Y/N. It has been a while", he said politely.
"Hello, Namjoon. How are you?", you replied.
That time you gazed at him and noticed his eyes were a pair of sweet half moons, despite your harsh answer. The kindness of that man melted any heart, no matter how cold it was. You weren't that last type, but the nasty memories of your former damn job didn't help to ease your behaviour.
"Fine. A lot of work, you know, as ever", he told you.
"Yeah, I saw pictures of you at the airport a couple of times. How was America? Wild or something?", you were trying to start an inconsequential conversation. You knew Namjoon was loyal to Yoongi and you, but the anger you felt with your dismissal made you quite resentful and you didn't want to give him the choice of easy talking.
"We are not rockstars", he laughed. "You know we worked a lot unless we had a free day. But there aren't many of those. "Where am I going, The world’s going crazy", he looked at you. Politely, again. But with a serious look in his eyes this time.
You chuckled bitterly.
"Why are we here? I mean, you're a nice man. Very smart and talkative. But it's freezing and I barely believe you haven't the slightest interest in talking to me. I know it's nothing personal but I don't believe I'm wrong", you uttered.
"Great answer! Well, I know what he saw in you", he said nicely.
"Are we here to talk about Yoongi? I don't know if it deserves being sitting in this shitty cold morning", you scoffed.
"Of course we are here to talk about him. You knew it since I asked you for this appointment", he replied.
"I just hope you aren't being his messenger. I know you are not the type, but just in case", you told him.
"He doesn't even know I contacted you. He never ever allowed me to do it"
"Yeah, I can imagine"
Namjoon let out a sigh.
"He isn't well", the young man finally said.
"If you called me to tell me he is sad, I wouldn't have time for it", you replied.
Namjoon kept quiet, as if he was ruminating about something. But he didn't say anything more.
"I bite the bullet alone, you know? And he didn't do anything", you told Namjoon.
"He did. Your actual job in the studio, they called you because of Yoongi", he explained.
You felt his words were a bit condescending. Maybe you couldn't find a job by yourself? Well, probably not as a sound engineer, it's true. However you were good enough to keep a job despite the recommendations.
"I know. And I thank him for it. But I'm good at what I do. I could have made a career as a sound producer in the company o whatever. However I fell in love with him and I lost everything", you smiled. Bitterly again but sincere that time.
"I know. It was a risky game. I warned him", he replied.
"A game?", you scoffed. "I was convinced I was in a relationship with an idol. A one who ever bothered to send me a simple message in all this time", you exclaimed.
"He couldn't. I mean, yes he could have done it but he didn't want to do any more damage to you", he tried to convince you.
You took a deep breath trying to keep your tears at bay. After all these months it still hurts as much as the first time. True, when you left the company building you tried to erase all the memories of that place, including Yoongi. It was hard and you didn't know if you had been successful, but you avoided the topic and everything turned easier. So then, sitting besides Namjoon was like opening a deep wound which just started to close. But you refused to cry. Not in front of Namjoon nor any of them.
"Listen. All these things have been overwhelming. You were right, we risked a lot. Me more than him. I had a dream job and threw it to waste without even blinking. But it's gone. I have any resentments. I swear. You can tell him that. It's not necessary overthinking neither be sad", you told him.
You kept in silence for a couple of minutes which felt like an eternity. The young man besides you didn't say anything either so you prepared to go.
"He's not just sad. He's depressed. Deeply. The days in America were kind of a hell", Namjoon uttered.
You felt a twitch in your guts, but remained stoic. Shit! you just wanted to run away from him and found a safer place where to cry out all your pain and he said something like that?
"How's that?", you asked him.
"After you were fired when we were in the dorm he stayed in his room all day. At the beginning it didn't seem so strange until one day I insisted on knocking his door because we had the last rehearsal until the japan shows. He didn't answer and I took the key we have in case of emergency and opened the door. He was deep asleep and in his night table was a pill bottle. He didn't take all of this but clearly he passed the adequate dose", he cleared his throat as he was gathering strength to keep up with the talking. In fact, he never told anyone what was happening the last months.
"Did he try...", you adventure to ask the question, but Namjoon interrupted.
"No, he didn't. I mean, he said he just wanted to sleep. However the dose he was taking was higher than he need", the young man watched a point in the distance.
"I awoke him that day and said to everyone he had a hangover and we were arriving on our own and they could leave. That gave me time to put him under the shower and make him a strong coffee. I made him promise to be careful with the pills and for some days it worked", he caressed his neck with his right hand.
"But...", you were eager to hear the whole story.
"He was going down slowly. I think he missed you but he blamed himself entirely. He contacted some people to ask them for help. However there was something which kept bothering him. Still there is", Namjoon explained.
"I don't know what you think I could say. I was sad too and I was trying to arrange my life again. I thought about leaving Seoul but I haven't found a good job yet", you scolded while you replied to him.
"He was barely living his daily routine. The last shows were a mess. Yoongi kept taking pills and added whisky to them. He told us it was because he didn't sleep well and convinced us he would take some free days when we were in Korea again. However he had a couple of anxiety attacks and we were about to cancel the last shows", Namjoon's voice trembled a bit. It was subtle but you noticed it.
"What's the shitty agency doing? He's one of its artists. It's their responsibility too!", you exclaimed
"Well, we are on vacation now but it's for him. It's odd but he accepted taking some days off and even being away from his studio. He chose to be in a private hotel in Jeju. All of us agreed but we asked the agency to send a manager with him. I talk to him everyday but he don't tell me much details", he explained.
"Just that? Free days? He needs a psychiatrist", you spitted.
"He's already in therapy. And the thing with the manager is that he shouldn't be alone", Namjoon told you.
You let out a deep breath and felt some tears rolling down your cheeks. You couldn't lie to yourself. There were some days you almost hated him. His handsome face smiling and his long fingers waving through the TV. To everyone but you. Other days you felt so stupid for having believed both of you could be together. Most of the time you still loved him so much that it hurt you. You bite your lower lip before talking again.
"I still don't know why you are telling me all of this. I mean it breaks my heart but my role in this story ended some time ago", you articulated while you were drying the tears with your fingers, quickly and hoping Namjoon couldn't notice them.
"Well, maybe not", he told you. "I'm here to ask you to meet him again".
You open your eyes widely. What kind of craziness is he talking about?
"Do you want what?! I don't need to remind you that I'm almost legally prohibited to be near him", you scoffed.
"I think you're exaggerating", he smiled.
"No, I don't. If you want I look for the agreement I signed. Under my point of view it's pretty much a legal warning", you assured.
"Ok, that's my plan, not his. The Agency knew about it and they agreed". He told things like that without any worries. Just like that.
"Excuse me, Namjoon. I don't even know if Yoongi wants to see me again", you replied.
"He wants to. Believe me".
"But I don't know if I want to. Or if it would be the most healthy thing to do", you answered without looking at him.
"Y/N", he tilted his head to you. "I truly believe it would be very healthy for both of you to talk again. At least one more time to say each one a proper goodbye", he added.
You refused to look at him. Your tears rolled down your cheeks. He gave you a paper tissue and you couldn't resist anymore. The tears came in sobs while he was hugging you by your shoulders. Your cup of coffee was abandoned under the bench, cold and useless since you left it there.
+++
He should have known. It was almost impossible for things to have a happy ending. You warned him many times and he was reckless. Selfish too. He believed he was untouchable and could put you under his umbrella. But it wasn't.
The sun reflected itself in some windows of distant beach. They twinkled at him. He smiled peacefully. I haven't done it for many months.
Yoongi not only was suffering for your loss. Not seeing you was hard, however knowing you were dismissed in that way troubled him the most. He claimed an economical compensation in exchange for the agreement to cut contact with you immediately. Not even goodbyes, words or explanations. He knew you must still hate him for that. All the promises he made you became in empty words.
And then his downfall. Where he was going the world’s going crazy.
He felt so ashamed of his behaviour during the last times that sometimes he barely looked at his band mates. They trusted each other: teamwork made the team win. But he failed them. None of them blamed him. They just encouraged him although the responsibility was his. So when they asked the agency for vacations he accepted without hesitation and promised to recover completely.
He was deep in those thoughts while his hands grabbed a mug half full of coffee. Small vapor trails rose from the black drink. It was cold and the humid breeze hit his cheeks. He didn't like the cold weather, however the landscape and the smell of the sea was so relaxing. He drank a couple of sips of coffee, letting his thoughts wander a bit more. Little by little he was able to arrange a routine for his free days. After lunch he took his notebook and listened to old archives. Everyone said he shouldn't stress with any kind of work. But for him making music was his life. He just couldn't let it go.
The telephone rang inside the room. He frowned and didn't move. Maybe it was a wrong call. People important for him sent messages. However the phone rang again. It was so noisy but from the terrace it wouldn't be a big problem. He smiled when the rings stopped.
The cold breeze made him shiver and he entered the room. There was an hour until lunch time so he leaned down on the bed and picked up the book he was reading from the night table. He only advanced a couple of pages when a knock in the door was heard.
The service room did its work when he was taking breakfast. The manager had his own key. Whoever was knocking the door made it again. He got up groaning. Surely it was someone who got the wrong room, but he didn't want another interruption. He was so sure about that he didn't bother looking through the peephole and opened the door.
But it wasn't someone who got the wrong room. Who was knocking the door was you.
He blinked twice.
"Hello Yoongi", you said.
"Y/N?", he asked as it was necessary for an answer who confirmed what he was watching.
"Well, yeah", you smiled at him. "Don't you remember me?", you arched a brow trying to be amused. True, you were shaking uncontrollably and the only thing you wanted in that moment was he didn't notice it.
Suddenly you couldn't think of anything more. He grabbed your arm and pulled you over him. You didn't know how you ended up in his arms. You stiffened but his tight hug made you relax and you leaned your head in his chest. It seemed like anything happened and both of you were never apart. That sensation was unique and fulfilled your heart.
"I'm sorry... I was..."
"Let's talk inside", you pulled away and shushed him.
You came into the room and felt the door closing. It was a big and luxurious but cozy room. You smiled thinking he would be fine there. However you didn't go to check if the conditions of his holidays were ok. So you let out a deep breath and turned to him.
Yoongi was a short distance but you already missed his welcoming hug. Six months had passed and you only think in hold and kiss him. If you thought you had overcome him you were absolutely wrong.
"Your manager called you from the reception but you didn't pick up the phone. I was going to wait for you in the lobby but he encouraged me to come. He told me you are awake", you explained.
He still kept watching you as the whole situation wasn't real. Although he embraced you and your essence felt fresh in his nose.
"I thought it was a wrong call", he confessed. "I mean, anyone called me by the room phone", he scratched his nape. “Are you telling the manager Hon let you come here?", it seemed he just realised what you said before.
"Yes. He knew I'm coming", you told him. "The Agency allowed us to talk again, so don't worry".
Yoongi's eyes opened wide. Were they so worried for him that for a time the legal agreements were put in stand-by?.
For a while neither of you said anything. There were so many things to speak about but the words couldn't be found. You felt your throat dry and cleared it.
"Water?", Yoongi asked you.
"Please", you replied.
He went to the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle. When he turned to you he motioned the couch in the seating area.
You sat and grabbed the bottle. It was already open and you drank a bit. The liquid cooled down your nerves. Yoongi sat beside you with his fingers intertwined. For just a moment you let yourself admire his beautiful long hands. They were exactly as you remembered them. Although you chuckled lightly he noticed it. A bit of oddness invaded him.
"So you are here", he said, trying to start a conversation.
"Yeah. Clearly you are wondering how... and why", you told him.
He didn't reply, just barely nodded.
"Namjoon talked to me. He told me how bad the last time was for you. And I worried", you said.
He snickered. A bit of bitterness in his laugh.
"My dear bro...", he uttered. "Well, there were rough times and although I don't want your pity I need to thank it for allowing me to see you again".
"I'm not pity you. I never do that", you frowned. "I'm just worried", you said.
He leaned back on the couch waving his hair.
"I kinda bottomed out. I loved you so much and the only thing I did was cause damage. I allowed them not only to fire you but also to humiliate you", he told you.
You noticed regret in his words and it felt so bad. Also the past tense used in his words hurt you a bit.
"Yoongi, it wasn't only your fault. You weren't the only reckless one. I was too", you replied.
"I promised Y/N, remember?"
"It was beyond your limits. I never blamed you"
"Really", he asked, arching a brow.
"Well. At the beginning, yes. I was furious. Disappointed. Hurt. But with time I assumed I was responsible too", you confessed looking at your shoes.
He didn't say anything. Although you kept looking down you started to feel he was glaring at you.
"I wish you never had trusted me", he told you.
You tilted your head to him. His onyx irises were fixed in yours.
"You did the best you could", you replied.
"But it wasn't so much", he reached out his fingers to touch your cheek. You closed your eyes when you felt his hand over your skin.
You sighed and took his hand away. You opened your eyes and intertwined his fingers, putting your hands over your lap.
"Be with you was a cascade of emotions. I swear never feel so many things: love, fear, excitement, terror. It was amazing", you smiled at him. He looked at you sternly but suddenly he smiled widely. You saw his gums and his bright tiny teeth and chuckled.
"So, please, please! Don't regret anything. The things were as they had to be", you assured him.
He squeezed your hand and spoke.
"You are amazing. You know it, right?"
"You told me that many times", you sighed.
"Well, I don't regret anything either. And you shouldn't worry about me. I'm healing, believe me", he told you.
You smiled and he felt his heart flutter. He needs to thank Namjoon for this chance. He thought he would never see you again. And there you were, besides him, being the ultimate source of peace to his soul.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. He groaned and picked it out. It was manager Hon reminding him it was lunch time. You pulled away your fingers as if a bell ringed announcing the break was finished.
"I think I need to go", you got up.
He did the same, disappointment inside his chest. That was all?
"So, what is the thing with us now?"
You stared at him without words.
"Yoongi, I ... "
For a brief time he felt the rejection in your lack of words. Your appearance revived all the feelings he buried inside the deep of his heart. However a lot of water has passed under the bridge and he knew nothing would be like it was before.
"OK, don't tell me anything. It's not necessary", he said while he grabbed his nape with one of his hands.
You bite your low lip and he looked at it. It was just a second. Suddenly he blinked and you put some bangs of hair behind your ear.
"Maybe", you uttered finally. "Maybe it would be a new version of us".
You smiled at him again. He did the same.
"It would be great, right?", he said.
"Yeah, it would..."
You turned and walked to the door. Although you didn't want to leave, your heart was lighter. From then everything could be easy. You were sure about it. When you were almost to open the door you felt his arms grabbing you.
"Can you hold me, please", he said when you turned to him.
You walked to and hugged him. You leaned your head in his chest. Again. And you thanked Namjoon for the opportunity to be able to do that again.
5. ...and so on
Yoongi's fluffy hair was waving as he walked to the exit door of Incheon Airport. The flashes lightened his pale face all the way to the van. You watched the scene sitting in your living room and thought how your feelings were different from the ones of a year ago. At last you can see him through the media, smiling at cameras, talking about his works without it hurting you. It was a bit odd but well, the roller coaster of feelings was over and you felt at peace with that.
The tiredness of the day was taking over your body. It makes you think about warming up a cup of ramyon and going to sleep. However your eyes traveled from the television to the kitchen: over the island there was a bottle of red wine and two glasses; in the electric oven the dinner was ready to be warm.
You muted the TV and cuddled over the coach, closing your eyes. It didn't take long until the beeps of the digital lock made you jump. You tried to fix your hair when you heard him.
"Sweetie, I'm home", his hoarse voice resonated in the apartment.
He barely managed to take off his shoes when you jumped over him. He fought to not lose the balance and made both of you end in the floor. You held and kissed him. He chuckled, pulling away from you.
"I've missed you", you said, biting your low lip.
"Yeah, I can see it", he chuckled. His onyx irises sparkling with amusement. His thumb caressed your cheek and played with one of your hair bangs.
"You are tired. An intense day?", he asked, noticing the dark circles under your eyes.
"Yeah, a bit. But I was counting the hours for your arrival", you smiled.
He left his bag on the floor and you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen.
"The dinner is ready. I knew you hate plane food so I suppose you are starving", you said.
"Yeah a bit", he chuckled.
"I'll warm it and you can open the wine"
However his arms stopped you grabbing your waist from behind.
"I loved you so much, baby", Yoongi said, tucking his nose in your hair.
He can feel your essence. It smelled like home. He loved so much that new version of both of you.
Most of your fandom experience is shaped by who you follow. Find a good group of people and stick with them.
Support your favs and a lot of them will become your friends, or at least be friendly back to you.
Just unfollow people who bring unwanted content or negativity onto your dash.
Block people who cause you stress. It’s not worth your time to focus on parts of fandom that don’t make you happy.
Blacklisting words/tags is a tool you are allowed to use as much as you need to.
Don’t feel like you have to pretend to like things that make you uncomfortable in order to fit in. Set healthy boundaries for yourself.
Never tag your hate. Never send hate anons to someone.
Content creators love getting comments, seeing people gush in the tags on reblogs, and getting fans in their inbox. It’s the best way to motivate them to keep making awesome stuff.
If there’s certain content you want to see but it doesn’t exist yet, then make it. Draw the thing, write that fic. If you can’t, then comission an artist or writer, or send someone a prompt if they’re open to it. If you can’t do that either, then write meta or headcanons about it. Put it into the world.
Create what you love. Do it for yourself first and foremost, and if even one other person likes it too, then that’s a bonus.
Description: Although Min Yoongi was the love of your life he never seemed much interested in your relationship. Some day you decided you didn’t want it anymore. But destiny has its own words over your life.
Disclaimer: After a very hard and long time I started to write again. This is the new chapter of this story and the best of everything is I have sketched the whole thing until the end. So I think I can update regularly. Thanks for your patience! I hope you enjoy this chapter. It has a kind of hot scene, so go on!
Masterlist
<-- Previous - Next -->
================
It was a very long day. Rosie felt sleep just when she got in the car. You looked at her and noticed the panda make-up were just traces in her face. She and Jungkook didn't allow you wash her face some hour before. Luckily the sweat almost deleted it. It was a relief because it would be very hard trying to clean when she was sleep.
Yoongi parked his car next to your building. You were getting off from it when he put you aside and grabbed Rosie in his arms. He felt the warm of the little girl over his chest. Her heart beats and relaxed breath made him smile.
But anything was perfect and when you tried to awake Rosie to put her in pajamas she started to cry. Yoongi never heard her cry before. He always thought that children crying was exasperating. Now the Rosie's lament made him felt a bit worried and even anxious. However he knew that you could handle the situation. True he didn't have the slightest idea of what to do in front of a crying little girl.
Before you went to the room with Rosie you told him if he want a coffee he could made one. Although he felt coy while he was finding for a mug in your little kitchen cabinet, he really need one. Slowly Rosie's crying became in quiet sobs so the image of you smiling at that Hoseok guy and the happiness which emanated from him came back to his mind again.
¿Was he jealous? He didn't want admitted it but he was. The thing was he never stopped to have feelings for you. Your absence from his life just made everything easier. The problem was you kept being a magnet to him. That's why since you met in the convenience store a couple of months ago his desire to be with you again resurfaced.
He filled the mug with fresh brewed coffee and took a sip. It tasted good but he remembered you were always a tea fan. So why did you have a coffee maker in your house? Was there a special one who to made coffee in your place? He tried to set asides his thoughts and grabbed the mug with his both hands. He couldn't help but the image of the smiley guy Hoseok appeared in his mind again.
You were with Rosie until she was completely slept. She wasn’t a spoiled girl but when she fall asleep out of her bed and you had to woke her up to put the pajamas on her she was very afraid. She grabbed you while she was crying and you had to calm her down and made her feel safely again. That night wasn't the exception and her crying increased a bit because you tried to cleaned her face to eliminate the make up completely. You feared she got an allergic eruption if you didn't do it.
You left the night lamp on like every night and left the room leaving the door ajar. Suddenly the tiredness of the day fell over you like a heavy rock. That's why when you saw Yoongi in the kitchen leaning in the sink aisle you jumped a bit. For some minutes you have forgotten he was still in your apartment.
He rose his stare from his phone to you. His stern gaze said you probably he was tired too. So, why he was still there? Actually you didn't feel eager to find out.
Nevertheless he was eager to find out certain things.
"So, Did Rosie feel asleep?", he asked.
"Yeah, at last. She was exhausted. And her mother too, by the way", you smiled faintly.
"I see"
Yoongi left the mug in the sink. But when you expected he said goodbye he attacked with a question. The one which was gnawing his thoughts the whole day.
“Are you dating him?”, he asked calmly. "This Hoseok guy".
"Hobi?", you replied a bit amused. “No, he’s my boss”
“A very close boss, I think”, he remarked.
“Of course, I told you we are friends since college”, you replied.
“So you have slept with him, haven’t you?”, he insisted.
You stiffened and turned back to him in disbelief,
“I think that’s not your business”, you scolded him.
He walked to you until you were very close. Your heart hammered in your chest and your mind didn’t understand what was happening. Although Yoongi stared at you without expression in his face you could see some fierce sparks in his eyes. You felt a bit confused.
“What…?”, you said desafiantly.
He didn’t answer. Instead he glared at you, scanning your body up and down and fixing his eyes in your lips. Goosebumps arose in your stomach. You felt how something inside you started to melt. He went closer to you and you walked a step back. And another one until you hit the wall with your back.
“Hey…”, you sighed.
He was very close to you. Very.
“What…”, he whispered over your lips.
He put his hands over the wall and suddenly you were trapped by him. A suddenly heat started to fill your body. He leaned his head over you and caressed your lips with the tip of his nose. He was teasing you and clearly he enjoyed. You knew those movements very well, that subtle but overpowered approach of him, which pretended to demonstrate his power over your body. Many times you hated him for that, although you enjoyed so much. His breath over your mouth gave you goosebumps and you couldn't think in anything but kiss his plump lips.
He always been like that with you because your lips, oh shit! he love them and always tried that kissing you let be a slow kind of process which let him enjoyed every inch of your mouth. He felt your deep breath and knew it was the moment. You felt his lips over yours as well as his tongue inside your mouth. It send sparks of electricity over your whole body. Kissing Yoongi still was a startling experience.
You surrendered. It was unavoidable. For the first time you recognized you were fantasizing with this moment since you met him some months ago. He was like an addiction. You weren't able to resist him. The touches of your tongues were deepening the sensation of the kiss and you couldn't help but moan lightly. He heard you and pulled away for a moment. You thanked him because you almost couldn’t breath. He was serious. His eyes fixed on yours and you drowned in them and their lustful sparks.
Yoongi's lips were grazing yours enjoying the feeling. You felt his heart beating hard in his chest while you started to feel wet down there. So you didn’t let him teasing and with a quick movement you grab his sweater and pull him against you. This time you kissed him and you almost heard him chuckling. He was a very serious, and bad, addiction. But in that moment anything really mattered. You felt his grip over your waist while he was pushing you with his body now. You felt he started to sweat and your arouse was more evident. It was like an ascendent spiral of desire. Suddenly his hands were under your blouse touching you bared skin. You moaned again. It encouraged him to keep ahead: his hand went upon your side until he reached one of your breast. You felt his long fingers squeezing your nipple over the fabric of your bra and you simply explode. You moan louder trying to not make much noise. It was a colossal fight.
“Hey… Yoongi…”, you whispered breaking the kiss, trying to pronounce a word to calm down a bit. He was licking your ear and you started to realize how far it was going.
“Yoongi…”, you almost begged him amidst suppressed little moans, trying to make him stopped. But your words hadn’t have any effects on him. He heard you but he just didn't wan't to stop. At contrary. So he went from your ear to your neck biting some points that made you crazy. He remembered every one of them.
“Yoongi… we must to…”, you tried to articulate a phrase but you couldn't. He put one of his legs between yours and you moaned again, this time without making any efforts to limit yourself. It was going really very fast. A little trace of reason still in your head although you only want feeling him inside you.
“Stop… Rosie can hear us… and… and… wake up…”, you tried to articulate a sentence without so much success.
“So we have to be quiet”, he murmured with a raspy voice. He didn't have any intentions to stop himself. True was he barely heard you. He just felt his arouse connected with yours. As ever. As just he remembered. As he have expected it would be during the last months.
An alert rose inside you. It wasn’t right. No this way. But you couldn’t stop while he was trying to you ride his leg. You had to hold him harder to not fall while your heat was rubbing against him rhythmically. The roughness of your jeans seemed amplify the pleasure of your core. You need to stop it. Badly. Trying to gather all the thoughts that could be able to cool your body you fought for find the right words.
“Yoongi, we need to stop… you have a girlfriend…”, you said in a last attempt.
He frozen. It seemed you pushed the right button and something inside him halted suddenly. You were right. Both of you needed to stop. He needed although his only desire was undressed and fucked you right there, with your back against the wall and your legs around his waist. He released you with a groan and you finally could breath deeply. He didn’t say anything just look at you briefly. You could see something in his eyes. Frustration. Shame, maybe. Guilt, surely.
Yoongi tried to fix his hair with both of his hands. He advert your gaze and you noticed his disheveled look. Everything was so intense that seemed to shake the ground under the feet of both of you. You tried to regain the normal pace of your breath without moving.
“Sorry”, Yoongi said. He picked up the car keys over the table and walked to the door. You didn't notice but he stopped a moment before touching the doorknob. But he reacted and finally left. When you heard he closed the door your body relaxed and a lump in your chest started growing. You sighed like something would hurt you physically without knowing if it was the sexual frustration or guilt. Or some kind of humillation. Probably it was a mixed of all of them. Your eyes were blurred with tears and you dropped down and sat on the floor. You hold your knees and let your head leaned over them. You cried a lot and you felt miserable while you were thinking how many tears you left to waste for that man.
****
Yoongi took off his headphones and drop them back on his desk. A groan of exasperation escaped from his mouth. He leaned his head back on his chair and closed his eyes rubbing them with his hands. He was an idiot. He let you bewitched him again and he wasn’t able to control himself. You had that power on him. Since the weekend he wasn’t able to think how put the pieces in order again. Your relationship were smoother and you shared some beautiful times with Rosie even. And then he screwed up.
He wasn't able to say he didn’t want it. Indeed he really wanted it. Every time he saw you and you smiled at him. Or when you saw you taking care of Rosie. He thought you glowed. And that view made him feel less guilty for abandoned you some years ago. He didn’t know of course. But he understood he wasn’t enough reliable to you told him you’re pregnant.
His mind was a mess. He couldn’t concentrate in anything after he left your apartment. And he couldn’t stop thinking what would happened if he weren’t with Jess. A bitter chuckle scaped from his lips.
With you everything were troublesome. You overwhelmed him and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable. But you were his best partner. You took care of him: many of your arguments were because you tried to oblige him to rest more or eat well. Sometimes you massaged his back and undo back knots that always growing. In your arms he could sleep without worries. And there was the sex. It was amazing. You were amazing. He remembered how many weekends both of you locked in his room and ordered pizza when you were starving. Sometimes your mouth was shinning with the oil of the food and he put the empty box aside and we’re over you one more time licking and biting your lips while you giggled and moaned later with his touches.
Also there was Rosie. You gave him the most beautiful little girl in the world. He knew that he was part of it too but he thought that every good thing about her was because of you. There was a fatherhood feeling that started to grow inside him. Indeed he felt a warm in his chest every time Rosie said his name. For a moment he smiled peacefully.
His phone buzzed over his desk and made him jump. He picked it up and saw the name of his girlfriend on the screen. He groaned again but he didn’t answer. He weren’t able to talk with Jess in that very moment. He knew what had to say but he didn’t know how. The phone buzzed again and he knew he was her without looking.
Yoongi was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize the door of studio opening until Namjoon figure appeared behind him.
“I thought you were very busy, but I guess it’s more an introspective thing?”, he said.
Yoongi chuckled and look at his friend.
“Kinda”, he replied.
“Mhhh busy enough that you don’t have time to pick up your girlfriend’s calls”, Namjoon said seriously.
Yoongi stiffened and glare at his friend without expression in his face. He was avoiding a talk not only with Jess but with his friend too.
“The thing is I’m very busy for waste time in dates”, he said with a bit of guilt in his words.
Namjoon grab a chair and putting it close to Yoongi he sat down. He leaned back and Yoongi knew he was decided to leave him alone only when he got some answers.
“What happened, bro?”, he said.
“Why do you think something is happening?”, Yoongi replied turning to his computer.
“Please, don’t fool me”, Namjoon said.
Yoongi seemed to be full concentrated in resuming his work but with the corner of the eye kept a look to Namjoon. He finally surrendered and turned to his friend.
“I don't know what to do. Every time the phone rang and I see is Jess I think he found out about Rosie. I know I had to told her about all this situation but I can’t”, Yoongi confessed.
“Well, it’s always good to tell the truth. Although in this case… I don’t know. Jess gonna be mad”, Namjoon replied him.
“I don’t understand why. I mean I didn’t cheat on her”, Yoongi claimed.
“Yeah, but you haven’t told her yet. Can I ask you why?”, Joon asked.
Yoongi sighed and leaned back on his chair and turned his gaze to the ceiling, both arms crossing above his forehand.
“I didn’t want. That’s it. Rosie and Y/N are mine. I mean they are an important part of my world and…”
“And Jess is your girlfriend”, his friend interrupted him.
“Yes, she is. But I don’t love her enough to be included in that part of my life”, Yoongi recognized.
Namjoon smiled bitterly. He knew that getting his friend put in words his feelings was a great step forward. In despite of he was becoming a father and that process had softened him, he was rude and confused lately. Surely because he hasn’t recognized his inner feelings yet.
“So, you need to talk with her. She’s kinda desperate”, Namjoon said.
Yoongi frowned and look to his friend.
“Is there something I don’t know?”, he asked.
Namjoon sighed. He had a confession to make too.
“She called me a couple of times these last days and some minutes early today. She is worried about you. I think she knows you’re getting away from her”, he told Yoongi.
“Why does she think that?”, he asked back.
“Really, Yoongi? You just said it. You don’t love her”, Namjoon replied.
“Enough”, Yoongi highlighted.
“She deserves better. She is an amazing girl. A bit spoiled and egocentric but a good woman. Speak with her”, Namjoon explained and got up. He walked to the door. Before left the studio looked Yoongi back and spoke again.
“And… you would have to talk with Y/N too. I mean, I didn’t know what is happening between you but I think that is what is really killing you”, he said before left the room.
Yoongi groaned and cursed Namjoon back. He loved that man but sometimes his wit was pure evil.
****
The evening was turning darker slowly. Yoongi's gaze was fixed in the sky, a bit cloudy for the spring. He was parked outside the modern building waiting for Jess. It was almost the hour she finishes her daily training in the gym and he texted a couple of hours before saying he was waiting for her at the entrance.
Of course he could be wait in the gym lobby. It was a top one so there were a super comfortable couches were he could take a nap easily. However the constant procession of super fit people stressed him out. In fact every detail of Jess daily life stressed him a bit: the amount of people surrounded her in the photoshoots or the make-up artists and stylists who tried in her new looks almost once a week. He liked better the safety of the close space of his car. It was one of the ideal places for drink a coffee and wait.
He was running away from this moment for some weeks. Since you said he was a father of a cute three years old girl. From that day he was living two ways of life: his "normal" one, being a music producer, independent rapper and kind of successful man who ran a music studio; and the other one who was becoming a father. The thing was the second became more prevalent each day.
A sudden noise in the copilot side window made him jump. He was decided to insult who was dare to pester him with his nocks until he look at the girl's face outside. He smiled faintly and open the door.
"Hi love!", Jess greeted her with a kiss on his lips.
"Hi, pretty girl", Yoongi replied with a faint smile in his face.
She looked at him carefully. Yoongi was always a kind of mysterious to her. They were together for more than two years but still there were certain hideouts in the heart of him that would never reveal to her. That thought was ruminating her head during the last days. The calls he didn't pick up, the short messages, his eyes looking at her indeed. She hasn't a good feeling about it. Although she tried to be optimistic in any situation Jess felt the distance between Yoongi and she. So there were two options: started an argument or trying to be reasonable to finding out what was going on.
"I feel lucky this afternoon, you not only called me back but you were agreed to picking me up", she said, a bit of resentment in her voice.
"Don't be like that. I'm the lucky one to have a woman like you besides me", he replied. However he didn't say that looking at her but to the sky through the window.
"Whatever. Can I push my luck and ask if we go to eat? I'm starving", she asked.
"Yes! We can go", he replied but he didn't started the engine. Instead he gazed to her and sighed. "But before we need to talk about something".
Yoongi's answer fell like a cold shower over Jess' back. She couldn't say it was a big surprise, but she was a bit afraid. Months ago everything ran smoothly. However something happened. He was moodier than normal, more distant and quiet. That was a bit strange even for a man like him.
"Yes, I think so. I'm not a fool, you know?", Jess uttered her words with a bit of resentment.
Yoongi felt it. In a way he was avoiding this moment because he expected everything would be fine without any explanations. He didn't like talking about issues related to his inner feelings. That's why his relationship with Jess was kind of ideal. They have enough space to live their own lives without the approval of the other one. However there were certain foundations which a relationship was based. In this case, he couldn't avoid the talk about Rosie (and you) no longer.
"What's going on, Yoongi?", she asked impatiently. His silence made her nervous. What would be so hard that he couldn't say her? Was he cheating her, perhaps? She couldn't deny that thought was around her mind the last days. She knew their relationship was straightforward, but it didn't mean it was an open one. There were some limits and she expected Yoongi knew it. However the doubt was there.
"Is there another girl?", she finally asked. She'd rather faced the big issue than continue with the uncertainty.
Yoongi's eyes widened. He looked at her thinking all the thing about woman intuition was absolutely true. Even though in this case it fell short. There were two girls. He took a deep breath.
"Yes, kind of", he said finally.
"Kind of?", Jess snorted. "You need to have a good explanation to avoid I slapped your handsome face, Min Yoongi".
Jess was furious. In a second she stepped from being a sweet woman to an angry one. Who was the woman that dare to compete with her man love? She was Jess Wang, after all.
"Jess, love. Just relax…", Yoongi tried to say.
"Relax?", she interrupted. "How can I relax when you are admitting you cheated on me?", he almost yelled.
Yoongi scowled.
"I'm not cheating you. I wasn't either", he insisted. "That's why you need to hear what I have to say before reaching any conclusions", he added.
Jess crossed the arms over his chest and gave him a side glance.
"Ok, go. Try to be quick because I'm hungry", she accepted.
"There was a girl. We had some kind of relationship. She was important to me, indeed. But we broke up almost four years ago and I never saw her again", he spoke.
"Important as your girlfriend? Or just "important" in Yoongi's definition", maybe she didn't know all of his inner feelings but she knew him a bit.
"Important. Period", he replied. Why is she interrupting him? It was very difficult to him talk about you. Not just with her. With everyone. With himself more than anyone. Also, he didn't cheat her. Right, It was close but you were enough rational to stop it on time.
"So?"
"So, I met her by chance some months ago and she told me…", he paused to gathered the right words. But then just spited out: "she has a girl and I'm the father".
Jess gawked him. What was he saying? He has a daughter?
"What?… sorry but… what?", she bellowed.
"She realised she was pregnant after we broke up", he explained. "So, she didn't even trying to contact me and tell me".
"That simple. Did you believe her?", Jess bewildered.
"Of course. She don't have any reasons to lie", he replied. The conversation was annoying him. Why everyone did insist in hesitate about you? He wasn't an idiot. He knew Rosie was his child.
"I don't know what to say, Yoongi", she told him at last. "I mean, you never thought that we would have children", she complained.
"Do you want to have children?", Yoongi gawked. "I have the idea that we never had that conversation".
"That's not the point. The thing is what do you pretend? I don't know If the stepmom role fit me", Jess sentenced.
"I know, believe me. That's why I think we need a time", he said.
Jess paralyzed. What was he saying?
"Are you breaking up with me?", she exclaimed.
"I mean, I need a proper space and time to think about all of this. It have been overwhelmed. So, if it means that I'm breaking up with you there were no more options", he closed his eyes and pinched his nose.
Jess looked at him and noticed he was exhausted. Maybe all of this was as he said. However a lot of question rose in his head. Especially why you never told him about your pregnancy. And the most important, who are you?
"You want to be with her again?", she asked.
Yoongi jolted. He didn't expect that question.
"True… I don't know, Jess"
Why is he saying that? He wanted be with you badly. However he knew that it couldn't be an on and off thing anymore. Both of you have a daughter. A pretty and smart one, indeed. She deserve to have the best parents and they need to be in a healthy and stable relationship to achieve that.
Jess sighed. She never expected this scenario. Yoongi cheating her? Yes, it could be a chance and she was ready to kicked his ass out. But he having a daughter? With an ex? What was that woman? Is he in love with her? Certainly they need a time. It was too much information to process and used to it.
"Well, so you aren't going to New York with me, I think", she asked.
"Yeah, I'm not", he looked at her feeling a bit guilty.
Jess was pretty, nice, intelligent. They have a very good time when they were together. Also traveling with her was always amazing. But made the trip with her couldn't be the right thing.
"OK. You really know how to surprise people, don't?", she said calm again. "Let's go to eat something? I'm starving. And I think we could keep being friends", she said with a smile while she was thinking in how to find out who the hell are you.
I just wanted to say how excited I am to see you right again!! AGLY is one of my most anticipated fics for a while and to see you pick it up again means a lot~~ i’m really excited to see where you take the story and I’m really excited to see the sixth part soon~~~
It means a lot to me you are excited with my story! I have been working on it lately and It's wonderful that someone is expecting for it.
jacobvanloon
dededos
dailybridgerton
baratheonpilled
