My opinion on the phenomena of “lesbian” radfems actually being bisexual, which I talked about on one of psychrevenge’s post of her being equally irritated by another radfem:
“I’ve seen this happen with lesbians from different political backgrounds and have seen this happen with apolitical lesbians, online and offline. When you’ve seen this scenario repeat itself across a range of women, you can’t help but wonder why and how so many women come to perceive themselves as being lesbians and then how one dude pops along and BOOM different story. It’s the scenario misogynists and homophobes of all political spectrums love, they eat this shit up and it’s why this sexuality - particularly female sexuality - is inherently fluid idea just keeps gaining traction and social backing.
I do believe a lot of questioning women are led to believe as long as they disregard an attraction to men they in actuality have and ‘prioritize’ women they can magically be lesbians, so I do think politicization under the guise of “every woman can be a lesbian” is a major player. I also think there continues to be a lot of straight and bi women who are political lesbians who are like ‘SCREW MALES I’M ALL WOMAN” only to do shit such as get with a dude later on in life lmao but most of the time they say shit that makes it obvious, like ‘unlearning ATTRACTION’ to men or ‘not acting on their ATTRACTION’ to men (a lot of radfems on here who are political lesbians have said stuff like this and THIS has given them away of all things tbh). Thanks to these assholes it adds extra harassment and disbelief of our sexuality, as well as people automatically equating feminists to just man-hating lesbians **until after graduation** andddd perceiving lesbianism as being the ‘consequence’ of/inherently related to feminism.“
In addition, lesbians usually can tell who is doing this beforehand, but many of you being self righteous demonize them only for this shit to be 100% true.
Then again, as i said lately, radical feminism was created by appropriating het and bi women FOR het and bi women. It is true as fuck, and reality reflects that. Radical feminism is nothing close to a community respectful of lesbians, that is reality. Using this idea of sisterhood to bastardize lesbian experience for your own selfish gain against your attraction to men and how you deal with it is manipulation at its core.
For all the lesbians you get angry at and condemn for knowing this shit you lot sure prove what we say. You have some damn nerve.
@fall-and-shadows “I still think a lot of it is shame” Can you elaborate?
Sure, I’ll try. It’s something I’ve been thinking of a lot lately, but I haven’t tried to put it into words so bear with me.
I think a lot of women in general feel ashamed that they are attracted to or involved with men and I think this phenomenon is particularly strong among straight and bi radfems. You see it in posts where women talk about they wouldn’t be with x dude if they found radical feminism before dating, marrying, etc. You see it in posts where women talk about wishing they were lesbians, because they have no concept of what this means, or bi or even just not attracted to men at all. And I feel like it’s this way because we, for the most part anyway, know and accept that men are trash. So how could anyone attracted to men be okay with that attraction? We’re literally attracted to a group of trash. There are numerous jokes about this, but I just feel like there’s not many of us that are actually open and honest about this reality, our feelings about it and what our attraction is and means (like that it’s blatant investment in men and patriarchy).
For all our “we know what men are,” we don’t really follow our own logic through and as @houroftheantichristwolf says we both politicize and idealize lesbians. It’s like the perfect recipe for people trying to be something they’re not, with no regard for who it affects. And I think the reason we/radical feminism do/does this is because we know our relationships will never be as healthy or as equal as yours. Definitely not now, not in our lifetime and depending on what we believe about men, maybe not ever. So, in radical feminism especially, you end up with women who know all of this pushing their attraction to men down and attempting to be something they’re not because they’re at odds with their own orientation.
That shame is about as useful as white guilt tho. Part of being an adult is realizing some things are black and white and some are grey so you can’t politicize every aspect of your life especially if you’ll just run around talking about how you’re so-o-o-o ashamed of being with a man. It just feels pwrformative and a way to grab the spotlight when those types of posts or discussion blow up in rad/feminism spaces. If you choose to date a man then accept it and move on.
thoughtfulwondering
I think fall and shadows brings up a good point but I think In a lot of these cases it is much more than bi and straight radfems being ashamed of having male attraction. It’s not that at all when so many of these bi and straight women who call themselves gay get soooo much out of doing so. They’re worse than the average queer because they pretend to care and to understand how much lesbians suffer but they’re just here to be the focus of lesbian attention and praise. It’s an extra level of gross.