[fall-and-shadows]

Pretty sure my last grandparent is going to pass away before the end of this week. She has always been my favorite. There really is never enough time with the people you love

[magnetictapedatastorage]

California nurses decry Ice presence at hospitals: ‘Interfering with patient care’

Caregiving staff say agents are bringing in patients, often denying them visitors and speaking on their behalf to staff

Solis Portillo was then forcibly removed from Glendale Memorial against her doctor’s orders and transferred to Anaheim Global Medical center, another regional hospital, according to her lawyer. Once there, Ice agents barred her from receiving visitors, denied her access to family and her attorney, prevented private conversations with doctors and interrupted a monitored phone call with Tanigawa-Lau. “I repeatedly asked Ice to tell me which law or which policy they were referring to that allowed them to deny visits, and especially access to her attorney, and they never responded to me,” Tanigawa-Lau said. Ice officers sat by Solis Portillo’s bed and often spoke directly to medical staff on her behalf, according to Tanigawa-Lau. This level of surveillance violated both patient confidentiality and detainee rights, interfering with her care and traumatizing her, Tanigawa-Lau said.

[fall-and-shadows]

I'm years late, but I just watched the Tinder Swindler documentary over the weekend and jfc it was bleak

[ms-hells-bells]

Gisele Pelicot and her daughter are estranged because despite everything her husband has done, gisele refuses to believe that her daughter was also abused and scolded her for "making a scene", and talked down to her, defending her ex husband.

I don't really have the heart to feel blame towards Gisele, it's the inhumanity of men that has led to this maladaptive coping mechanism due to immense mental damage. Poor Caroline though, she deserves so much better. To be betrayed by both parents and to be alone must be terrible.

[traumagenicfeminist]

I do honestly. After everything she's been through, she should know how depraved this man is and her daughter was more vulnerable than she was. I hope she finds it within her heart to apologize eventually.

[secrets-and-lost-thoughts]

I do too. This is standard family dysfunction, although at an extreme scale. The father abuses the mother, the mother processes her pain by abusing the kids. It's so textbook it borders on cliche.

One of the hardest parts of overcoming family trauma for kids is reconciling the dualing notions that their mothers were victims but also very much abusers as well. And it's hard not just because of the guilt and pain you feel for your mother but for the very difficult existential questions you're forced to face about morality and love.

[fall-and-shadows]

They're doing construction on all the main roads into town. Literally all of them at the same time. I hate summer lol

[fall-and-shadows]

Today was not great. The past week has been not great. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better

[fathergyn]

this reminds me of the study where they found that women who engage in self-objectification didn’t feel as cold in lower temperatures as women who didn’t. viewing yourself as an image instead of a person literally takes you out of your body on a visceral level.

[toddstool]

[emeritusprofessorofnothing]

My friend and I were just talking about how so many beauty rituals require a level of dissociation from your body to endure. Like having something glued to your nails or glued to your eyelashes or having someone else's hair sewn to your head. Your body is no longer yours, but a vehicle to carry stuff for other people's consumption. And women do this over and over again without flinching. There has to be a level of dissociation with that to endure the discomfort.

[blignick]

[alexaloraetheris]

Sisyphus if he was happy

[dasfeministmermaid]

We must imagine Sisyphus Happy.

[fall-and-shadows]

Idk, it's like a case study in Why Does He Do That on a TV show. Therefore, both the perp and the victims are predictable, as are the responses of many women watching, I guess

[fall-and-shadows]

“Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps treating you like a piece of fine china. The man who worships you in this way is not seeing you; he is seeing his fantasy, and when you fail to live up to that image he may turn nasty. So there may not be much difference between the man who talks down to you and the one who elevates you; both are displaying a failure to respect you as a real human being and bode ill.”

— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via a-witches-brew)

[fall-and-shadows]

Okay, so I never watched "You" for obvious reasons, but I saw a few memes that were lol and thought I'd give it a try. I didn't realize it was based on a book written by a woman. Has anyone read them? I feel like the tv series nails a lot about men and I actually like the poem from the season 1 finale

[fall-and-shadows]

I have a lot of thoughts about this tv series, mainly jfc. It was like 5 seasons of my ex monologuing, like I said, nailed it for abusive men and sexual predators. Wish the ending was realistic, but then they never are, are they?

[s-acral]

its such a good way to portray

a) these self proclaimed "nice guys", "protectors" and "hopeless romantics" as the creeps they usually actually are

And

b) how fucking clueless some women can be just because they want some Kind of romantic relationship

The last season was like so on the nose with this, it was funny because people really actually didnt get it the first 4 seasons..like it was LITERALLY the " I can fix him" trope..

[fall-and-shadows]

Exactly! Sometimes, I felt like I was watching a different show. There was so much fawning over him, saying how romantic he was, but they show he's a fucking creep in the very first episode like wtf! He's very obviously a sexual predator. He targets women and uses so-called romance to get them to fall for him to trap them because everything is all about him. It will always be all about him. Season 5 was fascinating to me because if you can't understand from that, idk what to tell anyone. It was so on the nose! Maybe it will help? His last scenes were chilling, and the last scene in the show with his last line was both accurate and so frustrating

[fall-and-shadows]

I keep rereading this quote from Loving to Survive :

“if men are people toward whom women feel sexual attraction, do women have sufficient self-respect to demand that men be human beings worthy of women’s sexual interaction with them? If women feel affection for men, do we love them, and ourselves, sufficiently to demand that they become responsible for their actions?”

and I just really think the answer is no, no we don’t

[fall-and-shadows]

Okay, so I never watched "You" for obvious reasons, but I saw a few memes that were lol and thought I'd give it a try. I didn't realize it was based on a book written by a woman. Has anyone read them? I feel like the tv series nails a lot about men and I actually like the poem from the season 1 finale

[fall-and-shadows]

I have a lot of thoughts about this tv series, mainly jfc. It was like 5 seasons of my ex monologuing, like I said, nailed it for abusive men and sexual predators. Wish the ending was realistic, but then they never are, are they?

[bitesizedpoetry]

Sylvia Plath, aged 17, journal entry #28, from "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" (c. September 1950)

[rabiesofficial]

yay my class schedule is set for next semester! boo it's gonna be so hard :(

does anyone have any resources they would recommend on Java or C/C++ Programming btw!! i want to get a head start on these before the classes roll around

[fromthelighthouse]

It is the phenomenon sometimes called alienation from self. In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say nowithout drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the spectre of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that one’s sanity becomes an object of speculation among one’s acquaintances. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

Joan Didion, On Self-Respect.

[fall-and-shadows]

“The undermining of self, of a woman’s sense of her right to occupy space and walk freely in the world, is deeply relevant to education. The capacity to think independently, to take intellectual risks, to assert ourselves mentally, is inseparable from our physical way of being in the world, our feelings of personal integrity…. How much of my working energy is drained by the subliminal knowledge that, as a woman, I test my physical right to exist each time I go out alone? Of this knowledge, Susan Griffin has written: “… more than rape itself, the fear of rape permeates our lives. And what does one do from day to day, with this experience, which says, without words and directly to the heart, your existence, your experience may end at any moment. Your experience may end, and the best defence against this is not to be, to deny being in the body, as a self, to … avert your gaze, make yourself, as a presence in the world, less felt.””

— Adrienne Rich, “Taking Women Students Seriously,” On Lies, Secrets, and Silence (via sadladypoetssociety)