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Monday Salutations Team!
I BRING NEWS FROM CASTLE P!! The new bird bath has been commandeered by a corpulent fig feathered wood pigeon. I have named the fellow Jean-Pierre du Bain. He lays there, haughtily wallowing in the apple blossom strewn pool, swishes his wings about, tuts at the bossy robins and looks on with utter disdain at the squabbling blackbirds. I am sure he is of blue blood. You cannot learn that degree of self-importance, it’s in the DNA!!!
Hail!!!!! Friday cometh!!
Well, yesterday was not without incident and milestone. The new garden swing arrived!!!! Wildly heavy and enormous, but arrive it did. So I set to work. What an unparalleled box of torment that turned out to be. A fraudulent set of instructions with botched cartoons and handy hints in GERMAN did not phase me. After 2 ½ hours, actual blood, sweat and tears, (the full trio of doom), it is done. It is resplendent!!! It is magnificent!!!
Left to loose – Right to Tight. Never forget!!!
I would rather have kept the thumb nail. Danke schön!
Salutations Team!
Well – I have been reading a rather book called DRINK MORE FIZZ! – 100 of the world’s greatest champagnes and sparkling wines to drink with abandon. (Jonathan Ray)
I am rarely one to let excellent advice pass me by and this compendium of delights its simply brimming with them.
“A single glass of champagne imparts a feeling of exhilaration, the nerves are braced, the imagination is stirred, the wits become more nimble”. So said that grand and magnificent lush, Winston Churchill.
Who am I do disagree with such an advocate of opulence?
Ps. & FYI I favour the Nytimber Grand Cuvee and Tattinger Brut Reserve. Just saying. Eh hem.
Good morning
ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE! ALL JOINTS WILL BE CARVED!! This is what my Mum used to say to me and my brother every time we sat down at the dinner table. And if I was being mard, my Dad would say “IF YOU DON’T STOP SKRIEKING, OLD NICK THE EYEBALL SCRAPER WILL GET YOU”.
They say that the things you experience in your formative years, shape your character. I’d say I was dealt an excellent set of cards due to my parent’s robust attitude !!! Fortitude and manners!!!!
Excellent new words for the Oxford English Dictionary
Arsehollery. Knobbery. Bollococks. All have useful daily purpose, are self explanatory and are ideal for describing all manner of stupidity. Of which there is in abundance. As such new words required. Never be the cause of said requirement. As you were.
The Roll of Destiny!!!! BEHOLD. During my daily stroll throughout the kitchen gardens of Castle P, I happened across this beyond the hydrangea and beneath the fatsia japonica! A FULLY IN TACT UNBLEMISHED LAVATORY ROLL!!! No doubt a love token from a fair and handsome knight, beyond the castle walls - far far away! I suspect a trebuchet was employed to ensure the safe delivery of said Roll of Destiny!! I thank you brave knight. Gift accepted.
7 days from dried pea to sprouting glory!! The majesty of pea shoot salad is on the cards in a few weeks time. Healthy, delicious and most gentle on the Castle P coffers. And can we all take a moment to appreciate that splendid no nonsense unwavering and stylish packaging from Leo? *GASP of wonder* Marvellous.
Ludwig was life and soul of the party.
Ludwig’s 250 birthday bash
As is the theme of most of my weekends, a celebration of sorts came to pass. The latest was for none other than Ludwig van Beethoven. I keep a small bust of him in the great hall of Castle P - vexed, seriously displeased, liverish and constipated are his expressions. So, in order to cheer the old bugger up, we threw him a party. According to Mr Google, egg soup and cheesy pasta were his favourite meals. Egg soup will probably account for the egg bound look on his chops! Discarding the egg, we (the great and grand Lady C and I) created a large and luxurious macaroni cheese. I had drowned a bowl of cherries in kirsch some days early, so made a Black Forest trifle. Of course I did! Together with a bottle of champagne we toasted the good man himself whilst listening to his more upbeat greatest hits. He does air on the side of dour, so it was slim pickings. Nevertheless, a grand and glorious time was had by all. And yes, we did hit the port later on. Grahams Tawny if you insist on knowing. Which I would.
The winner takes the whole blooming lot!
I may have cracked open another bottle, it’s thirsty work mooching and faffing in the wine cellars of Castle P don't you know. May I present Inniskillin Icewine - cabernet franc?! I will not wait the for the reply. Picture the scene: leather chesterfield warmed by a fire in a manor house library. In autumn. Rain lashing against the window. Blowing a hooley! A large cigar smoulders. And a moustachioed Duke toasts your ravishing beauty. One sip of this and you will be instantly transported! Imbibe at will!
Absolutely do NOT tell him. Never. Now then. I write from the depths of Castle P’s wine cellars. Might I just drop in a little review of this delectable punch in the chops - a rich juicy blackcurrant and cheeky spicy kick in the tonsils? (Takes a breath). Of course I might! I maintain that is it extremely difficult to go wrong with an Aussie Shiraz. Together with the delectable Lady C, we teamed this with a large splat of gorgonzola, honey and brandy baked figs all scooped up with a ‘just from the oven’ ripped up baguette. The “Don’t Tell Gary” nectar is smooth 90% of the time with a 10% of 4am stubble. CHEEKY CHEEKY!!
ATTENTION! Now then! Let no one have to besmirch a proffered hand! The handshake is a deadly den of dirt and misery - riddled with germs. May I present my latest finding. A life sized brass hand! Not only does this brass hand (apparently) disinfect itself, it can fit up a sleeve and can be offered in greeting instead of the classic human fleshy hand. Thus, polite society restored and no germs transferred. I thank you.
Do I need a guard goat?
Do I need a guard goat to roam the grounds of Castle P? This what I am currently musing upon.
Having barred the door, brought down the portcullis, the drawbridge is up, moat teaming with crocodiles AND the trebuchet is locked and loaded - I feel a team of guard goats would be prudent too. Belt and braces and all that.
The world at large is peculiar monster, filled with friends and foes alike.
I've found it most helpful to decide if a person is useful or useless. Sort the wheat from the chaff.
Note to self; order a JCB to remove the pile of chaff mounting up.
Google search: Guard goats/Goat aggression/security uniform for goat
I saw that
Karma