I always feel so weird and out of place when people ive known my whole life and have been friends with my whole life gush about their best friends having kids or getting married. Like these are people that I have considered to be best friends at various points. But the way they describe the friendship with their other best friends is different from how I view any of my friendships. I dont ever feel super close to people.
Anymore. There was one friend that i felt suuuuper close to like that, but even then it was different, at least I think so.
I just. Why have I never been close to people the way other people are? Why do i struggle to talk to people i actually am friends with on a regular basis. I have to actually go out of my way to do that. I have to regularly remind myself that it has been several weeks or months since i last talked to so and so and I actually *SHOULD* message them while im thibking about them.
On the other hand. I do a lot of post liking on social media because i want them to know I am still thinking of them. But I am soooooo bad at communicating.
Idk I just feel out of place as a human. Its part of the feeling like not a real person thing but thats not how i feel at this moment.

















